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Im a newbie gg, trying to figure out things and to support my loved one.
When we talked about how often we set boundaries within my comfort zone, I love him so much for that. I just want him to be happy and maybe understand why sometimes he has the "urge" and want a bit more time than agreed. I understand frequency vary form person to person, likes and dislikes, lifestyles..etc
With all respect, I would like to learn from other point of views, how often you CD?
Often enough that my wife thinks it is strange if I'm not wearing a skirt at home.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. X (gg)
dressing.
Personally, I'm wearing women's clothes all the time. Mostly pants and femme shirts/tops(with a varied range of undergarments including bras, panties, tights, etc.), so it's not really obvious. At home I'll often wear skirts. And for night play, often really fun stuff.
How I'm dressed really depends on what I'm going to do, and with whom I'm going to do it.
So, in a general sense, all the time because that feels natural to me. In a sense of getting "dolled up", not so often, but certainly 1-3 times/wk. Would be more if we lived somewhere more liberal.
My wife has no issue with the whole thing.
MRS. X GG - boy did you ever post a good question - my Spouse tolerates
my crossdressing with boundaries consisting of no shaving my bodyhair, no
going out in public, and no wearing feminine clothing in the marital bed.
Well, I have gone out in public years ago and I have worn nightgowns to bed
years ago (but not right now) My main problem lately has been with body
hair - I absolutely - positively detest my body hair. I have all my life - years
ago I shaved it all off - when it started growing back, the stubble felt so bad
that I gave that up. However, I want my presentation to be as authentic as
I can make it - I don't want to be hairy woman in the circus. Anyway, as
fate would have it, I started plucking the hair off my legs and arms - this
led to a horrendous explosion by my Spouse - and I'm still feeling the after
effects - WHY DID I DO IT ? BECAUSE my desire and need to let this
Feminine part of me (JoAnne) out is so strong that I can't seem to stop or
don't want to stop, even when I know that I am going to catch hell over it.
I want JoAnne to have the chance to be as feminine as I can make her -
and my desires are sometimes stronger than my judgment.
JoAnne Wheeler
Mrs. X it is so very nice that you care enough to ask a question like that, Now for myself who is living alone for a while ( my son is in the army and going to Iraq ) Let me say first that the urge never really goes away it is always there but there are times when you need to use control and not do it . Now I try to dress at LEAST once a week Friday and SATURDAY. I hope this helps . :)
For me it varies widely. Sometimes it's full time 24/7. Sometimes It will be months in between. lately there has been a lot of grey in this area. That might have something to do with my wife keeping it really hot in the house while its snowing so much and I'm way too hot. Easiest coolest clothes I have are skirts and blouses.
Find out how much she has done it in the past and how much she'd like to in the future. See if it works for you. If it doesnt. Talk about it
Quite honestly my wife would prefer if i did just commit to being a female full time permanently. She knows Im always going to switch back and forth though.
We're all gonna be different, Mystery Woman!
It's gonna depend on your status at home...alone or partnered or partnered with kids...
The amount of femme time changes with each individual, too. Sometimes you don't need it or want it for days...or weeks...or months (ew!). Then when something clicks, a celebration or a stressful period or "who knows why", then it's a full on "pink fog' immersion that demands it as close to 24/7 as you can get.
Ain't no schedule for most of us, hunny! But if we do keep to a schedule, like alternate tuesdays and saturdays in months with an 'a' or an 'e'...or a 'u'...(:)), it's because we want more but just can't fit it in.
So if you're thinking of negotiating a schedule with your sweetie, sometimes it'll be enough...but sometimes it just won't. Hormones, phases of the moon, tidal surge, barometric pressure, whatever!
Ideally, if he's listening to you, darlin', you are in control. But be a kind and gentle mistress, who's willing to negotiate.
Golly, I hope this guy doesn't piss you off, 'cos you are a treasure!
:)
Me? I'm pencilled in for every Saturday evening and every Sunday evening photo night for the next millenium (or until I retire...then it's as much as I can afford in time and space!)
Hi good question, in my case i wear them all the time, and my wife doesn't mind, with certain boundaries.
i always wear panties, and women pants and shirts as long as they don't look too feminine, you know like cargo pants jeans not too tight, etc.
although she doesn't like me wearing girly pink stuff although is my fav color, for this i only dress in full feme when i'm alone at home.
Debs and I live 300 miles apart (at the moment soon to change:D:D:daydreaming::daydreaming:) but she cna be 3,4,5 nights in a row or one night a week .. depends on how he feels and or he/we have summat else planned ... like the weekends he has come up here he will make sure he spends time with his kids midweek and the night before he drives up he does not do Debs.
Sometimes it is just nice ro be D*** & sheila on cam, other nights it is just as nice to be Debs & Sheila on cam.
When we (J & I) move down I would imagine not a lot will change
That's a good question and it's nice to see that you care about him so much. For me, it was always a sort of stress-aid. Eventually it became more of a habit or more for fun and well, I won't delve into the further deep possible psychological reasoning behind it. Anyway, there were times where I wanted to dress all the time and there have been times that I haven't wanted to dress at all. The time period and the frequency always has varied and it depends what else is going on in my life.
What may be a suggestion is to ask him why he does it or why he thinks he may like dressing so much. If it's anything similar to something that I've mentioned about me, then you may be more apt to notice what's going on when he wants to dress a bit more than you originally agreed. Just remember- whatever his reasons are, are his reasons.
I can't say for those who are married, since I'm single, but I feel for those who have limitations.
Me, I can dress pretty much at any time, but I dress mostly on the weekends.
However, I do dress during the week if I have a day off here and there.
Hugs!
Firstly, I want to congratulate you on being the type of person that can see cding for what it is, and feeling that love is love. You are a rare and wonderful find. Your husband is a lucky man in that respect.
It (the need) WILL be different depending on marital status, acceptance/tolerance level, personal needs, and opportunity.
My wife "tolerates" my cding. She would prefer me not doing it at all. Whatever I do I am not allowed to dress in front of her and the kids, etc. Nor does she like me talking about it. Because of this, I go out dressed 2-4 times a month fully dressed. This is not a compromise. If I didn't go ahead and just do it, I would be doing no cding at all...so.... I do underdress often, but not all the time. If she was accepting or at least a little more tolerant, I doubt that I would go out any more, but would probably wear some feminine things occasionally around the house.
I think what is also important is to ascertain what your husband's ideas are along the lines of the question you asked. Does he know where he is heading or have an idea? Or is he just enjoying himself "in the moment"? Is it sexual, or "just being"? Once you guys figure that out, you will have a better idea of what he wants or think he wants, and what you want or think you want. Then, you can make agreements that you both are comfortable with, hopefully.
Best of luck to you both!!!!:hugs:
How often would really depend on what the level of dress is. I tend to dress a couple of days a week. When I spend the night or weekend at my GF's I am usually full femme. So I guess the answer would be 2-3 days a week.
Nice to know how much you respect your SO.
Everyone's "Trans" is different. For me, how often I dress is as much a time management/convenience issue as anything else.
I'll wear girly stuff around the house on a regular basis...leggings and a t-shirt, girls jeans, that sort of thing. But it's honestly a hassle a lot the time to go "full femme"...at the end of a day at work, I don't want to bother with doing my makeup and such.
So to answer your question...I would probably dress every day, in that I would present as female if it was an option, but since I don't live full time I actually dress completely fairly infrequently...usually less than once a week. I do usually manage to integrate girl's clothes into my boy wardrobe...in particular pants, some shirts, hosiery, etc...today's work outfit is a sweater and pants from Ann Taylor Loft, for example...a girl silhouette except for the boring clunky boy shoes.
I to am single but dress litterally everyday but some of those times one would say is very casual. Jeans top and little makeup would be the norm for around the house doing chores. When I go out and get away I dress fully. Keli
Had boundaries, and that was fine for a while. When I went beyond the boundaries, it almost broke up our 40 years of wedded bliss.(spent three months in "dry dock") So our agreements had to change, albeit that I pushed the issue (almost too far). We now have our wedded bliss back, but dressing is still a sore subject. Let's say she tollerates it. Can do anything I want in the house. Going outside the house is where her tollerance comes in. I'm allowed, but not with her blessing. I dress fully some part of every day and partially all day of every day.
My wife fears I will fall into harms way when I go out. She also fears my son-in-law (the minister) will find out and refuse to let us see the grandkids. Some how, the force that drives me to CD, makes the risk takeable.
Hope I've helped and not further confused the issue for you. Anna Kate
I have some sort of femme gear on almost all the time. There are times though when I need to be part man part woman, strictly for my fiancée’s piece of mind, on those days I will wear a skirt, pantyhose, man t-shirt and nothing else. There is also the days where she wants nothing to do with Gretchen at all, so she tells me so and I comply. Not even panties on those days. I still get to keep my toes painted though. It works very well and we are both happy. Communication is the key.
...you asked.
Every day. I have to wear man clothes at work for the time being. But at home I'm more often than not presenting as my preferred gender.
LOL. I think you might as well have asked, "how long is a piece of string?". There's one answer for each and every CD / TS posting here :)
Sarah...
It's the same with me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shikyo
All day, every day :)
Mrs x,
Thank you for your interest and understanding. I am not so fortunate as to have an SO like you.
I think if I could choose with complete freedom, I'd wear something (but not necessarily sexy) to bed everynight, underdress (panties) about 1/2 the time, and dress maybe once every one or two weeks.
I dress whenever i feel like it.
Sometimes once a week, sometimes several times a week, it just depends on how i feel and what else is happening in my life.
During the summer months i often don't dress for several weeks at a time as my guy hobbies tend to dominate my thinking more.
My wife tolerates my CDing, not exactly enthusiastic but is quite happy to see Ruth pottering around the house. We have compromised on me dressing fully 4 evenings a week. She has no objections to body, leg and arm shaving, make-up and perfume (whilst en femme), or painted toenails 24/7.
I think she regards it (rightly) as something I have to do. I'd say we have a closer and more loving relationship since I came out to her a few years ago.
Mrs X said - "Gurlz...lets talk about frequency "
Eww, don't mention frequency...it's a world of Hertz :doh:
As a bare minimum I'm always underdressed, no matter what I'm doing and I almost always have female accessories such as bangles, shoulder bag, nail polish and so on. Best way to think of me is a girl who sometimes wears male clothing for practical reasons rather than a boy who sometimes wears female clothing for whatever reason :)
So frequency-wise I'd say 99.9% of the time I'll have something female on and maybe 50% of each day I'll be wearing nothing but female stuff. Oh and I sleep in female night stuff too so that probably pushes the numbers up a bit. Actually I have so little in the way of male clothing now that I'd struggle to put more than a couple of outfits together and even then I'd have no male underwear to go underneath it :p
My crossdressing desire comes and goes. I have times that I feel the need often, and dress often. Other times I go for months and never dress, although I think about it occasionally. My wife and I have rules we both agreed on. Out of my love and respect for her, I never break those rules.
Pretty much every day at the moment, sometimes only for a short time, sometmies for a few hours, but always enough to deal with the urges.
First Mrs X ...a very special :hugs: for being supportive.
My SO also supports and participates, and our relationship is better everyday because of the communication.
I dress more often than not, almost everyday. Sometimes just underdress and sometimes full unfemme. Sometimes just around the house and sometimes to go out. Depends on the demands of the day. However, the feeling, the pressure, the desire(call it what you will) is there everyday.
By the way, I consider the feeling, a gift.
For me personally, my cding has been cyclical throughout the years. I have gone through dormant stages that lasted for months. There was nothing keeping me from indulging other than the simple fact that the desire was'nt there. When the mood strikes its like seeing an old friend and asking why we have'nt kept in better touch, for lack of a better analogy. Its something I enjoy and will go on bit of a roll for a month or so.
Currently I'm in a supportive relationship, as she has known for 6 months. While I have'nt dressed in front of her yet, she has seen pictures of me as Kim and has made a number of purchases for my wardrobe. We are in the process of figuring out how this is going to work for us as individuals and as a couple. I feel quite blessed that I have found her, and look forward to our future.
Best of luck to you and your mate.
Its great that your talking through things with him.Boundaries are good to come to agreement with so you both can be happy.Your support means so much.
I just really wanted to say that I think your awesome for what your doing.What I need is a little different but,I had to say it.
I never had much of a chance to express myself.I suppressed who I was for all my life..but then starting last year I would dress from time to time.I was figuring stuff out in my head when things started rushing back into it.I still tried to convince myself I was just a crossdresser and nothing more.There was just something throughout my whole life that always pointed somewhere else.I knew something was wrong.Ive had problems talking about things because in the past it seemed like nobody really cared and I was treated bad.I wasnt ok inside and it just starting turning to anger that I couldnt control.I feel so bad for the way I made people feel.Ive never had to be right in the face of this before and I made a lot of mistakes.
Theres nothing that says your SO would be the same way.All of us here are very different.If your SO is open to talking about things,deffinately keep talking.I think its very important to know whats going on inside...and from time to time,its good to find out again.
My wife knows, but doesn't accept it, so I don't dress when she is around. So that means I get about one morning a week, one or two nights a month, and about once a month on a day off or while traveling.
Sometimes I just don't feel like it for months on end, sometimes I want to but can't for a few weeks in a row.
How often do I CD? ... well if you mean "CDing" as wearing clothes normally associated with the opposite gender, then 24/7.
I always underdress with bra and panties and my outer clothes are always women's ones ... BUT .... at work I wear girls clothes that are fairly gender neutral. I think some of my GG co-workers can tell that I wearing girls jeans and tops but no one ever says anything to me. Outside of work I push the envelope more and and have more of a "femmy boy" look.
Dressing fully en femme with wig, forms, makeup etc ... well, it varies, usually 1 or 2 times a week, occasionally 3 it depends on what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm seeing. I have quite a few friends who only know me as Rachel so obviously if I'm meeting them then I dress fully.
i need somthing once a week , just lipstick can do the trick
then i try and dress in bra and dress once a month thats all .
Any whare from five to seven days a week early in the morning and
later in the evning before my wife gets up or goes to bed .
It's don't ask don't tell she knows it's something I can't control
every thing is hidden in plane site.
.................................................. ...........ORCHID
i underdress daily.. minimum of panties. (no boy underwear anymore). oftentimes hose/girdle to work. Once home, usually put on a bra. Wife doesn't want Lisa inbed with her. Sometimes a nightie (have to get some long gowns). Dress fully every other weekend when kids are gone. Slowly progessing to more female wardrobe. :battingeyelashes:
I go out every now and then, At work I am in full drab clothing. After work I wear female style jeans and regular t-shirts. Would love to be out more but oh well.
It's NOT always , "How often", sometimes it's "how much", do u dress?
MOSTLY, I don't dress unless it's ALL THE WAY! Hollywood production numbers, r common place for me!:eek:
I have noticed an ODD PHENOMENON! Whenever I'm NOT able to dress, I WANT TO DRESS ALL THE TIME!
When I'm free to dress as I like, I often don't feel like making the effort!:brolleyes:
No idea why! But, u MITE REMEMBER THAT, with your SO!:)
Thank you all for sharing, I appreciate it very much, you have been wonderful :) and I've enjoyed every single respond. :hugs:
I realize that I have much to learn about my fiance's needs and desires with CDing.
I agree Mrs. docrobbysherry, he has told me that he has been alone for months in a row and the "urge" its not there, just as you say, but as soon as he can't do it for whatever the reason, that triggers the "urge" back. :idontknow:
I always underdres and wish to be fully all the time
Now,... no more.
:(
jenn
It's a lot like a volcano for me. I went so many years repressing it, it came out of me from nowhere. There are days when I don't need to at all, but I get these days when I try to convince myself that I never need to again, and it starts to boil.
I don't wear makeup and get all glammed up unless I'm going out, but I do mostly wear women's clothes now. Jeans and a tee most days, most people don't even notice. I've found that this level makes me feel happy and doesn't make my life more complicated, it's evened me out, being able to be me at all times. I do still get the urge to go all the way, but at those times it has become something I want to do, not something I need to do.
Mrs. X,
Thank you for caring enough to post on this forum. I wear plain woman's jeans most of the time; except when I'm crawling around under the car changing the oil. I love jeans with a high waist. I also wear plain white panties except when in bed with my wife. Then I wear briefs. I used to wear my thick curly hair in an old fashioned hair do. I would get a shampoo and set once a week at a beauty shop. Now remember I am much older than you and I relate more to ladies my age. Last fall my wife asked if I could get a shorter style without the flip.
My beautician suggested a modern wedge style which looks very good on me. I can style it down to look less feminine or poof it up into a cute stacked wedge when I want to. We call it my compromise do.
I get my brows waxed when I get a hair cut. I also clip the hair on my arms and shave my legs. I have gotten my legs waxed but that can be expensive.
I carry a plain black ladies zip wallet which I like because it has more room for cards and other things. I can stuff it in my back pocket if I have to. My wife calls it my man purse.
I used to dress in front of my wife but don't any more because she doesn't like it. She knows that I go out some dressed when she is at work. She is worried about our reputation if I was outed in our small town. And we agreed to not tell our children. I would rather just come out of the closet but she couldn't handle that.
Our friends rave to my wife about how much I help her around the house. I cook, clean, sew, and many other traditionally feminine tasks. I love to make the coffee in the morning and then cook an omelet for her before she goes to work. And I do most of the grocery shopping. I guess you would say that I try to be a pretty good wife.
So that is how we deal with this unusual situation. My advice is to keep talking; keep the lines of communication open. Make sure that he understands what your fears are. And good luck, Leanne
[SIZE=4]As you have read here in the previous two pages of posts, each of us has a different "urge" level that can change at a moment's notice. [/SIZE]
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[SIZE=4]On a personal level, I dress everyday so I attack my urge before it gets a chance to start eating at me. I have had long periods of time when I did not dress simply because of lack of interst or job or familial requirements. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Our urges can be triggered by so many things that each of us can describe differently. Sometimes it is simply a memory or a mental image or it can be that blonde brushing her hair in the car in front of me, who really knows what will trigger the next "attack". [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]When we are given boundries, we are just like any other kid out there, we push back to see how far the envelope can be pushed before we get put back into our place. I do that with my wife as I am sure all of my sisters do, it just seems to be human nature.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I have also found that in the absence of any boundries, we still create our own mentally and tend to find a happy medium that we can deal with. I am perfectly happy not to have acrylic nails an inch long 24/7 as my wife has requested when I proffered the possiblity. Now that I have spent prolonged periods of time in long nails I am very happy to put them on daily and take them off at night. Common sense seems to have broken through (I know, it is hard to define common sense with this activity)[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Anyway, your question, as you see, has sparked numerous points of view and will always bring about numerous answers, one from each of us. Simply because, we are uniquely similar.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Your sis,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Tami[/SIZE]
107.1 on the F.M. dial... my frequency of cross dressing depends on what counts as cross dressing.. I wear heels every day.. pantyhose or tights at least once a week.. grab a skirt every now and then..
Different levels of CD depending on a multitude of parameters (stress, level of energy, mood, weather ...). I usually need pantihose and underwear almost every day. High heels, skirt , bras and forms one to two times a week. I personally noticed a steady increase of CD frequency with age, the older I am getting, the more I want to cross dress.
right now, I want to dress 24/7, but I would not want to impose that on my wife. I think that I could be very happy with one full-dress opportunity every two weeks (more if she were willing and comfortable with it).
I can't add much that hasn't already been said aside from welcome to the forum, its nice to see someone with your acceptance level:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. X (gg)
I'm pretty much in agreement with Joann. However my weekends are usually in the middle of the week. Just the nature of the business I'm in.Quote:
Originally Posted by joann07
I dress for dinner every night and sometimes during the day if the mood strikes me. My wife is happy for me to dress anytime because she loves me, no matter what.
I ask you: How can something that is creative, fun, sexy, artistic and harmless be considered bad? And if we girls were not out there spending our money on girlie stuff, just think how much worse the economy would be.
Crossdressing is a plus for our marriage and we hope it will be for yours.
[SIZE="3"]I live with Bre Rue who is a full time woman. So 24/7 is how often she is her amazing self. Albeit, I don't think its quite the same as cding but I thought I'd offer any bit of whatever should you feel the need to ask. :)[/SIZE]
Thanks for the post,
My dressing goes in spurts, sometimes I feel like dressing more often, sometimes even daily, sometimes I follow through on those urges even if it is just wearing panties, other times I can go weeks or days without having the urge to dress. I am still trying to figure out what drives the urges to dress or not to dress. My SO is very accepting of my desires and supports me when I want to dress and when I do not want to dress. Of course she enjoys our girly time but I know and realize how much she needs her male time with me also. Just try to keep open communication.
trisha