How many times have you purged and how did you feel after?

How many times have you purged and how did you feel after doing it?

After starting my habit back in 1990, I think I purged 4 times.

1st 2000 - thought God would bless me if I purged and I sure missed the beautiful stuff I gave away. Gave away some nice 1995 era Jr dresses but I got them back throught thrift shopping. But my size back then was a 12 to 14 as long as I can remember! I once accidently bought a size 8 dress and I couldn't zip it up!

2nd & 3rd purges [2000] minor purges of a few stuff as I couldn't quit crossdressing but tried to quit. So I vacillated... Then I dreamed of accumulating a big gigantic and beautiful skirt suit collection, - and my dream came true!

4th purge [Feb 2009] - could have been a MAJOR DISASTER as I accumulated over 120+ skirt suits / $20,000 worth of stuff. Chicago collection was donated to a cheap $5 thrift but nobody buys there [they're too poor] so I recovered all of my stuff after 12 days... Had a really bad mental episode that crossdressing is cursed by demons... So I quit but I couldn't stop buying and I said to God, - but these size 4 to 6 clothes don't have to be purged as they can fit a beautiful woman my size [ like Britney Spears EXACTLY]. So I got lucky this time not to purge anything and I recovered what was given away.

The only future purges I will do is to sell on ebay outdated or ugly stuff I don't want anymore..

I am way to smart to purge. And I will never quit CDing . I have never felt guilt associated with CDing. So the purge was not even in my head let alone the guilt that you and allot of others have felt.

Now don't get me wrong , if you have purged I am not saying your stupid just lost in the guilt, fear, or something just an strong . I just have never had a prob with my life that would make me purge.

I will give you some free advice, If you feel the need to purge just put the stuff in boxes and put them out of sight or to a friend , so that WHEN YOU NEED TO DRESS AGAIN your stuff is right there. It will save you tones of $ and give you peace of mind to.

Good luck in loving yourself and please forgive your fem-side and except her fully, You will beeeeeee much happier hun.

I used to purge to feel less guilty--at least a dozen times over the years.

i havent ever felt the need to purge but about 6 months ago i did lose about 85% of my dresses and tops due to faulty latch on my pickup and i was and still am sick over it

Purging was never my thing, unless she tells me to let go of crap I have been packratting for 25 years.

"Do you really need that mylar balloon from when you were in the hospital when you were 12? A happy memory, is it?"

I've tossed out junk I bought at thrift stores that didn't fit, but nothing I've ever sewn myself, which is 90% of what she wears.

All my purges 'cept for the first one, have all been due to space. I didn't have enough space for all the stuff so I had to dump the stuff i didn't care for anymore.

I don't purge. The quality of my clothing keeps improving.

I feel absolutely no quilt and have no reason to purge.
No rollercoaster here!

All the Best,
SS

Ps - if you enjoy cding and it's not hurting anyone, why do you need to stop? What are you so conflicted about?

I have never felt the need to purge. I have no reason to do it as my wife knows and doesn't bother her. That is what matters.

Kymmie

I have purged 3 times and i felt terrible after i did it.
every time i did i would go out and buy more than what i had before so i quit purging so now i go put everything in closet when i don't feel like dressing it's alot cheaper:D

I've purged a handful of times, maybe around 7. As I did it, I felt confidence that I would rid myself of my feelings that made me so very confused.

However, only days (and sometimes hours) later I would feel guilty for throwing my stuff away and the urge to dress would come flooding back. Purging anything is always going to have a negative effect, because trashing things doesn't destroy your feelings.

I am glad that I have accepted myself and will never again purge :) :daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by KateSpade83

Had a really bad mental episode that crossdressing is cursed by demons

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You mean it's not? :eek:

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Originally Posted by Jenny Brown

You mean it's not? :eek:

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I think it depends on what the hands are doing. :heehee:

First of all let me say that throwing out some things that no longer fit right or that one just does not want or wear anymore is not considered a purge! A purge is getting rid of EVERYTHING with the intention of stopping dressing permanently for whatever reason.

There was a long period in my life when I was not happy about my crossdressing. I wanted to quit doing it and just be a "normal" guy. I tried to quit three separate times and I purged everything each of these three times. I should have been smart enough the 2nd. and 3rd. times to realise that I was not going to be able to quit but I wasn't. I was so determined to quit dressing that I thought that if the clothes were not there the temptation to dress would be gone and I would be able to quit. Of course I was wrong all three times and eventually started buying more clothes after each failed attempt.

That was about 20 years ago and now I have learned to accept who I am and have no desire to ever quit crossdressing. I know fully that this is who I am and I will always be this way. I am content knowing this and would not ever want to change even if I could.

I donate unwanted articles of clothing from time to time but I will never purge my feminine things again! I love being a cd too much to ever do that again.

1. The urge began at age 6
2. experimental practice from age 9 to high school.
3. Adopted an androgynous look in College.
4.Established habits began after college for 7 years straight.
5. Purged in '99 ...."Oh, I'm too intelligent for this nonsense". Burnt a few bridges with a few TG/TS friends of mine.
5. Thoughts never stopped in spite of the purge. felt my own personal character was eroding. Never faced the reality (translation: "denial")
6. Re-embraced it in '08 when economy was looking like it was doomsday, and the world around me was falling apart. My job was a lot of heavy pressure, and needs creative rejuvination, and I felt like I was in a box. Since then, I've had to look deeply at what was really going inside my mind. I feel re-empowered now.

Actually, yes i purged. Before i got married. Twenty years later when my counselor suggested it, (too religious--he thougt it was a sexual addiction). And again when my wife got very insistent 6 months ago. But she let me keep 6 dresses. Plus a couple boxes of stuff. And I rescued a few things from the trash. And then bought a few more dresses.

Zero purges.

Some stuff was discovered by parents and repo'd when I was a teenager, that's about it.

I do periodically give away to thrift shops stuff I haven't touched within the last year or two.

I never felt it was evil, since it was always a part of my nature and no harm was done to any living creature (except the rabbits who tested my makeup :) )

Ok, maybe the sheep missed that wool but that's small change in the Karma department.

everytime i purge i always end up missing the outfits later on

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Originally Posted by dilane

I never felt it was evil, since it was always a part of my nature and no harm was done to any living creature (except the rabbits who tested my makeup)

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[SIZE="2"]Hi, dilane! It’s definitely not evil – evil is a human invention, you know…

I’ve never done a wholesale purge, but when I moved to Kansas 7 years ago I trimmed my belongings way down so I could fit everything into a U-Haul truck. I only kept two beautiful skirts, and I built a new collection around them.[/SIZE]

I never purged...but now i'm transitioning after 35 yrs of avoiding the real issue with my ever increasing crossdressing..

anyway...we should have a purging central....a giant warehouse of clothes...you can purge into it, but once it's gone it's gone....and then when you inevitably want some clothes, you can shop the "Purge Store" at discount prices...that would save us all alot of $$ instead of paying it all to Speigel or jc penney catalogue!!!!

I never purged for the want to stop dressing but to keep from being busted. And do wish I had a few of those things back.:hugs:
Angie

Twice;

Once when I was probably 3 or 4; I had mom buy me some "girl shoes" when we were in a store once; a few days later I tossed them out because my brother made me feel ashamed about it and was teasing me in front of his friends. (Lo and behold, this brother eventually grows up to be my sister)

And once about a year ago which was just a couple of things, not exceeding $40 worth of things (twas a small collection), but I threw it out because I didn't want to be keeping secrets from my girlfriend, and somehow thought that this was just the sort of thing I could give up :P

I just started collecting again, and have finally accepted that this is who I am, so I think it is unlikely that I'll purge again in the ideal future. But who knows what the future has in store for any of us.

I've purged about 7 or 8 times in the past 30 years for mixed reasons. I've decided since the last time never to do it again and that I had nothing to be ashamed about being a CD. I guess I would have to if certain family members were ever to go through my things and I knew about it ahead of time but NOT because I felt guilty about my crossdressing

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I had nothing to be ashamed about being a CD.

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Yes, everything's much better when you realize you are who you are and make peace with yourself.

CDing is one of the things that makes me special!

All the Best,
SS

i have purged maybe twice in 20 years. the last time was probably over 12 years ago. As i have become completely comfortable with myself and enjoying being me, i have not even thought about it....in fact, just the opposite....how to make me feel more like me.

I hate to admit that I have purged a few times over the years, mostly when I was younger and thought I could beat the urges by getting rid of the clothes. As we all know that doesn't work.

Now that I am older and wiser (?), I have taken the "CDer's" Pledge, to never purge again. Nowadays I only cull to improve the herd.

Jaydee

i purged one time.. and that was all it took for me to realize i was a CD and throwing things away didn't change that..

I have totally perged the idea of purging.

It seems to be about every ten years that I pruge saying I'm not going to dress anymore. Then slowly start to put together outfits until the next pruge. This time I keep the panties and get rid of the guy stuff instead.:battingeyelashes:

A few 3 ~ 5, over the years. It gets exspensive and you realize over the years that some things can never be replaced "ILGWA Panties from TG&Y" they were the best panties ever made. And some old fashion corsets too.

How do you feel "Good" for about 2 days then like "Crap" and you start over!! :sad:

I have many times trying to be ""MYSELF" as others would see me". But, I finally came to grips that I want to be myself the way I see me, and haven't purged in a least 5 years. Not say that I don't need to give some things to Goodwill, to make room for newer things.

Well that is the thing about us poor people we think long and hard before we would do anything drastic like that , so no i have never purged :heehee:

Well Kate let me just tell you, if my fella purged and threw all his stuff out I'd be well peed off. Half of his stuff not only cost an arm and a leg, but I actually use it too and no way can I afford to go out and replace it all. I think the only thing I wouldn't mind him throwing out is his collection of shoes cause theyre too big for me, and his wigs which dont actually suit me so I only wear for works dressing up do's. Besides we have now become a part of quite a nice little social group of CDs and we meet regularly so one of us has gotta drag up.
Take care
Bev

i had baby doll tees, boyshorts, blonde wigs, tons of makeup, dresses, minions of thongs, miniskirts etc! still wanting it all back!!!

i have never purged because i do not have hangups over relatively meaningless activities.

Many, many times. Up until about 4 years ago, I would go out and buy stuff, and wear it a couple of times and then get scared that I would be found out and then throw it away. Now I am only throwing stuff away when it wears out or stops fitting.

My advice is to clean out from time to time but NEVER NEVER purge or you will "regret it for the rest of your life".. janet

I wholeheartedly agree with what's been said here. Several years ago, I purged every piece of female clothing I had....corsets, panties, stockings, wig, makeup - absolutely every piece of "evidence" that might have indicated I was a CD. This was back when I had split from my wife. I was moving and I was afraid that the box with my things packed in it would be discovered by accident. It was stupid, really. If I had been thinking clearly, I could probably have have found some way to get it all to my new house. But everything was going into storage for 2 weeks, and I was staying with friends till the new place was available. My state of mind was not conducive to innovative ways to conceal my things. So, I panicked and tossed the lot. :doh::eek:

It's been 6 years since I Dressed. Recently, the urge came over me to start my collection over, so I am. However, I'm moving more slowly than I did back in the beginning. I can't afford the volume and impulse-buying that I was able to back then. However, no more guilt now. I will never purge again.

I can't count the number of times I've purged, but I'm sure those days are behind me, since I came out to my wife. Whenever I did purge, I was almost immediately filled with regret, so hopefully never more.

Did about 2-3 purges. Always felt like throwing away myself, in a way. Now I only throw away what's wprn out or the size doesn't fit anymore. But hate doing it.

I am a little confused, if you enjoy crossdressing why would purge as you call it that as the same as stopping, it isn't like robbing banks it's something that makes you feel good inside, enjoy your self DRESS.

Love Sharon

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Originally Posted by sharonbethlyn

I am a little confused, if you enjoy crossdressing why would purge as you call it that as the same as stopping, it isn't like robbing banks it's something that makes you feel good inside, enjoy your self DRESS.

Love Sharon

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Well, no it's not the same as stopping. Just like someone who swears off drinking because or guilt, CDs have similar experiences that they go through. You throw away the clothes because of guilt, or fear of being caught. I think it generally only happens to men who are in a relationship or marriage, where the wife or girlfriend doesn't know, and the man has a fear that if the clothes etc. are discovered it will mean the end of his marriage/relationship, because he thinks the woman wouldn't understand, and would leave. Sharon, your situation may be that you are able to Dress when you please, or you may have already come out to your wife or girlfriend and others in your family, and your friends. For me though, there was guilt because I knew that my wife simply would not understand, and I knew that friends and relatives wouldn't understand or approve, and it could mean the end of my marriage and my relationship with my relatives. That however, was not the reason that I purged - I outlined my reason for doing it above. But it's still fear that drives us to do it.

I use to purge in my late teens and early twenties.. I now realize I did that out of an illogical guilt..Gee. I wish I could have back some of the beautiful clothes I threw away! Please don't purge.you will only regret it later

One purge-- I got rid of my first dress, hair and shoes one hour after I looked at myself in the mirror. I was horrified. I had thought it would be an easy transformation-- boy was I wrong. So, I checked out a few books to study up on makeup basics and the lights came on, so to speak. I bought a new outfit, new hair, new shoes and never looked back. I'd have to say that my initial purge was not connected with guilt. It was all about the disappointment I felt when I saw my image in the mirror.

I have purged many times over the years, and like Lidia said, each time I felt like I had thrown myself away. My identity was gone each time, and I only found myself again after I began to dress en femme again. It took several years, but I finally accepted the fact that this is who I am...I am Alicia. I may have been born in the body of a male, but my soul is female, and no amount of purging will ever alter that.

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Originally Posted by KateSpade83

How many times have you purged and how did you feel after doing it?

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I purged once when I was 12. It was right after getting busted by my mother while wearing one of my mother's skirts.

All I had (of my own) was a make-shift skirt, which was nothing more than a slightly modified sleeping bag cover. Not even sure if dumping that is considered purging.

How did I feel? Well, I hated myself and wanted to die. Not because I purged, but because getting busted was terribly traumatic and I felt very bad about myself after that. At the time, I thought purging was a step toward being "normal". I was just a confused 12 year old. Not much was lost, although I did feel a bit naked without it (no pun intended).

I set out to purge before getting married, but could not bring myself to do it. I thought getting married would "cure" me at the time, but it took me a long time to accumulate my stash and didn't want to chance being without it if I did not "get better" (note the quotes).

Aside from that, I have never purged.

Unlike many crossdressers, I do not hate this aspect of my life. This is who I am and I love being a crossdresser. It took me a long time to figure out, but I got there. I am not ashamed to be this way. It is not a sickness, defect or something I need to get over.

I've got issues and quirks, but crossdressing is not one of them.

I purged twice:

The first time as a teen and the second when I started back in the late 90's.

Each time the urge got stronger. Now I just take 3-5 weeks off in the summer so I do not get the purge feeling.

I purged everything before I got married. Back then I didn't have a whole lot. Just a leather skirt and a silk nightgown I had bought in Korea. I also got rid of two issues of Transgendered Tapestry a TG friend had given me.

Several - felt devastated - I WILL NEVER PURGE AGAIN - EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!

JoAnne Wheeler

What exactly is purging? I have always understood that it means to get rid of ALL your female clothing, so as to quit being a CD. I did that once, many years ago when I did not have such a big wardrobe as now! I totally quit CD'ing for 5 years. Only started up again because my dear late wife insisted. Sure was fun shopping for Stephanie again!

Now my only problem is storage space. I have 3 bedroom closets and 12 portable closets, 6 in my full basement and 6 in storage. About 1/3rd of a bedroom closet has my male stuff, and everything else is filled with Stephanie's stuff. Do you think maybe I have too much?:heehee:

I have yet to purge, though I have had my stuff involuntarily purged when I lived in my parents' house, though they never figured out that's one of the reasons I had it (I was a creative teenager after all, and it wasn't me crossdressed that they ever found). Actually I fished stuff I couldn't stand letting go from the garbage and had to wash it on occasion.