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Hey Everyone.
I'm new to the site and I have a question. I've been crossdressing for 2 1/2 years now. From what I know, most CD's are str8 guys (maybe I'm wrong). If I'm right, I kinda feel like a rare breed since I'm a gay guy. I want to know if there are any others who live their everyday lives as gay guys but who are CD's.
Over the years, in order to learn about myself I've read tons of material on crossdressing. General statistics that I've found all pretty much wind up around this: About 80% of us are (or claim to be) completely heterosexual, despite the various fantasies about being female, we don't interact sexually with males in real life. As an example, most of my sexual fantasies are AS a female, behaving as the female, but interacting with women (yeah, I know that doesn't work out very well at all in real life, but we don't get to choose what turns us on, do we). So that leaves about 20%; now, also knowing that approximately 5% of all males are homosexual, that would mean a significant number of gay males also crossdress, or admit to crossdressing. The numbers get fuzzy, because most of us don't like to label ourselves as strictly one thing or another, and lots of people don't like labels at all. I don't know where professional crossdressers fit into this (drag queens and female impersonator entertainers can be either gay or straight or sometimes in between) but there you have it.
I am gay and not completly out of the closet, even I can be read very easily. I consider myself a gay crossdresser in my case feels kind of weird having double locks in my closet:hugs:
I am bi but like guys better now
still new to the feelings
@sometimes_miss: Ok, so the numbers are fuzzy. My thing is, I like to crossdress and meet guys and be treated like a woman. It's like I am a woman sexually or something. But I'm not a transsexual nor do I want to be. I like that I can be both genders and wouldn't want to mess that up.
I always found it strange that a man would want to crossdress and be with a woman. I always had the question of why be a lesbian when you don't have to be. Maybe my view of sex is a little one sided, maybe. I'll explain. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy and I like to be the feminine part. I never liked gay porn for that reason; 2 built, muscular guys going at it.
So, I interact only with males sexually. It does seem borderline transsexual as for the reasons why I crossdress and why I enjoy it.
@Barbara: When I was choosing my female name, Barbara was one of my final choices! lol. I'm like you, except I'm out of the closet. I am a feminine acting gay guy and easily read.
A gay guy here, and I too, have felt in the minority of crossdressers, which makes it slightly more cumbersome, since I feel I put a lot of straight guys off, and if they are crossdressers... well. So I just assume crossdressers are gay, since the topic of sex isn't the biggest deal for me being a crossdresser anyway. Unless they're local, in which case, going out to different bars/clubs would be awkward when we suddenly realized we liked opposite sexes. :-)
Based on some recent threads that were rather long and countless other things I've observed, I'm pretty sure the "statistics" and surveys are very, very loaded, with a lot of people giving the answers they want to believe and they want everyone else to believe, when the reality is that their fantasies and inclinations are the exact opposite.Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
And, if there were no social consequences (losing friends, family, jobs, children, companions) as a result of living and being with who they're inclined to be with (even if it is fleeting and they immediately return to their picture perfect (or imperfect) home), I'm also pretty sure they'd do it.
And, this is what creates the closet so many people are in. Amazingly simple, isn't it?
Obviously, this applies to me, but also does the fact that there's no way I'd ever live as a gay man. I know my feminine nature and if I somehow desired to destroy my life, I'd go all the way and transition, making everything as it should be.
Very interesting we have the same kind of thoughts , even when I explained the same reasons why I like to crossdress to my therapist the other dayQuote:
Originally Posted by FemmeElastique
she still questioned herself if I was really gay or not
I consider myself bi but am in a committed relationship with my female SO - it's actually only recently that I came to this recognition and to recognizing that I am also a cross dresser.
I am bi. However, I have not had any encounters with women for several years now. So, does that make me gay? Doesn't matter to me.
Yeah! So I guess we crossdress for the same reasons =)Quote:
Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ
Do you do it in public at all?
I prefer women, want to live as one. Not a gay male, don't really prefer males.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ
MM HMM honey, you are WOMAN!
Don't waste your time with locks, some crazy lady named Erin is coming in after ya. :love:
I am bi and love every minute of it! I get twice the lovin':eek::heehee:
Im bi, but im only interested in guys who are smooth.. non hairy guys.. I dont think I could stricky date a guy though.. I love women too much hehe..
Been with 4 men and 2 girls in my life. Guess that makes me two times more gay than straight. LOL
Would prolly never be in a publicly gay relationship but I am still sexually attracted to a hot guy.
I like to soak the cork!
Lmao!
Rats! Wanted to quote Roy Orbison and say "YOU'RE ONLY THE LONELY" but your response clears up that thought. I have been in the community for 7 years and i can assure you that the majority of cds are not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Hehe . :bonk:
[QUOTE=FemmeElastique;2155801My thing is, I like to crossdress and meet guys and be treated like a woman. It's like I am a woman sexually or something. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy and I like to be the feminine part. I never liked gay porn for that reason; 2 built, muscular guys going at it.[/QUOTE]
In a way, you're like many CDers. I had one experience with a guy, let's call my score 25 women with X encounters, and 1 man with 1 encounter. The whole time I "had to be" a girl with him. It didn't work any other way. I'm basically straight as you can see by my numbers. I'm totally turned off by 2 guys doing it also. I don't know why. But it's enough to not call myself bi. I don't really know if you are gay, maybe you're not. Maybe you're expressing a female sexual identity. There's no current psychological category for that yet, but you are not alone. There are many CDers here who can do it with guys if they "are women" at the time. Confused? I know I am. :)
I like sex with people. Not all people, just the sexy ones. Why limit yourself?
In guy mode, I only want women (do not even think about men). En femme, I want men more so than women. I never liked gay porn. 2 girls going at it in a porno is cool, but i rather much watch straight porn. Does that make me bi because I like both men and women?? or straight because in drab i like women, and en femme i like men?? PS - I LOVE women. Prefer them over men.
Hetro here...........to me I have no interest in being with a man, it is a woman all the way..........Still totally awesome to live as a woman as many times as I can
I guess it sums up this world when people are pidgeon holed in to various categories, instead of just being categorised as ``people``
........whatever a person deviation it too me is irrevelant.........
This is not a slight on the thread in anyway....just my opinion.
:love:
I am bi and really enjoy meeting guys as Sarah. I like who I am and enjoy being able to enjoy myself with both men and women.
Sarah
As I HATE labels, I'm not sure...I just try to look at the other person, how they treat you, etc....then make my own decision, does that make sense?
I am a gay man. Only ever meet men and happy with hairy or smooth... I do like to meet other CD/TV as well but definitely not women.
I was married for 25 years till wife passed away, now I am finding myself attracted to males and enjoying the experience...guess I would be gay
Wow, you have no idea how glad I am to see that someone else has the same feelings I do... I've always felt like I should be a woman, but typically only have fantasies about being a woman with another woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
There's been no scientific study to prove that the majority are heterosexual. Using the word many would therefore be more accurate.
There may be more bisexuals than strictly gay, but of course that would be a guess. Also some of us are pansexual ( which means being attracted to someone regardless of their gender or gender-identity ).
I don't know if the term "gay" applies to me, I do know I'm quite "happy"
I've seen "the fence" from both sides. Still haven't made up my mind which view I like better.
[SIZE=4]I'm bi and am beginning to prefer men especially when dressed[/SIZE].
:love:It is really hard to come out of 2 closets.Working in construction and being close to retiring is not the time.I have waited this long ,so a few more years won't matter.:daydreaming:
Actually I've always been jealous of gay crossdressers. I thought naively they had an easier time than us straight crossdressers.
I now see that gay men naturally prefer their men masculine. And that the men that like crossdressers are another hidden sexuality altogether.
In saying that the numbers of men that are attracted to crossdressers is large compared to the number of women.
You can be gay and crossdress or not crossdress.
You can not be gay and crossdress or not crossdress.
Whatever you call them, orientations or preferences, they are not related.
I am bi. My wife knew this before we were married. She is ok with it. She let's me be me.
I like women men CDs,I guess I just like people :)
Yup, I'm a gay man...but, whether I'm dressed or not, I want to feel like the fem in a relationship with a man (in private). So, I echo the earlier post about not being turned on by two muscle guys going at in a porn video. For me, one should be the fem (like me -- hee hee) and the other should be the man. I have no desire to become a woman per se, just to remain a feminine gay man (in private).
BTW, I find that some of the replies on here are unnecessarily confusing. I think the question that you are asking is whether there are any cds on here that, when not dressed, prefer being in a relationship with a man. I want to stress that being "gay" oriented is not about sex -- it's about who you fall in love with, who you have a relationship with, and who you may marry. So, when you are not dressed as a woman, do you fall in love with men or women? (Now, I think that there is a huge grey area, in that many cds will say that they are capable of falling for both.) I fall in love with men almost exclusively, so that is why I consider myself to be a gay man.
Cheers!
This is an interesting and sometimes confusing issue for many CDs, I imagine. I've only had "long-term" relationships with women, and those have been emotionally and sexually satisfying, for the most part. When I've been in relationships I've usually pretty much given up CDing.
When in CD mode, I often fantasized about about being with men - looking at porn (infrequently) I mostly preferred men with pre-op transwomen, imagining myself as the woman.
Actually being with guys has had mixed results - sometimes not so hot, other times lots of fun.
The more I experience, the more I feel that sexual attraction is pretty flexible and can be influenced a lot by imagination, at least for me.
I wont deny I have a sexual attraction to other crossdressers and transexuals but beyond that I would have to say no I have no real interest in men
yup same for me,its all about the person not the labelQuote:
Originally Posted by joannemarie barker
I'm one and I wear panties,bras & night gowns daily. I started in my mid 70's. Oh I'm closeted but would like to have friends to dress up with. Hugs Joy:love:
Barbara, I don't care what ANYBODY calls you. I still think you're a sweetheart.:hugs: Hugs, Tonya:battingeyelashes:Quote:
Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ
Of course there are gay cds and bi ones too---why limit yourself. If you are like Me you prefer GGs and CDs, and really femme guys to masculine hunks but it certainly takes all types
I think everyone on this forum recognizes that the spectrum of human sexuality is as diverse as the colors of the rainbow, so why do we continually analyze, re-analyze, over-analyze, and then re-over-analyze ourselves on this question?
I think this is illustrative of how important motivations are to us as a species, and as a cultural sub-set of the species. No wonder there are so many rich psychiatrists.
I am reminded of the famous quote attributed to Justice Potter Stewart of the U.S. Supreme Court who said that he couldn't define pornography, but that he knew it when he saw it. If we see someone who attracts us, why is it that we try to define why they are attractive instead of seizing the momment? If a person can't really define his/her sexuality, but knows who he/she wants to sleep with and when, is it really all that important that they don't know the answer to the "Why" question?
Go where you wanna go, and do what you wanna do, with whoever you wanna do it with.
Just so long as you're not hurting somebody else, like a wife, SO, or child when you do it.
I don't get it! I'm trying to understand. Like, a lot of you like to CD but prefer women?? At a fetish party, I met a pre-op transsexual woman who is married (I think - at least she brings a woman to the parties) and who just likes women! And she's planning on having the sex change operation to be a lesbian! I don't understand, or maybe it's not for me to understand. And I thought my sexuality was complex.
And one thing I'd like to add and ask some of the gay guys. It's so weird....the thought of me being with a transsexual or CD is a complete turn off. If I just know that a guy is a CD, I will be completely turned off sexually by him. I want to know if the other gay guys feel the same way, or what. I'm just saying this stuff so I can see if others feel the same way or if it's just me. It is not meant to offend anyone. Also I noticed that others in here like other CDs.
Let's just say that my "hinge" on "my gate" is multi-tasked!!!!
I can see us (or some of us ) being able to be masculine and attractive to women as a hetrosexual male...and then be able to take on our female role and be attractived to males from a female prespective...so does that make us bi/gay or just multi-demensional???? Now to make it even more confusing or "blurred"...lets say we as females are attracted to lesbian females....what does that make us???? gay lesbians????
Better to address this as being simply a person (or people) who can transform accross established modes of human sexuality (i,e, being straight) that have been established by society as being acceptable "norms" and bend those "norms" into different levels of sexual experiences and acceptance...although it may not work for the general members of society it works well for a few who can transform back and form esitly and without any difficulty....so they get to enjoy both sides of their seuxality....
There have been so many opions already expressed that I am a bit hesitant to add mine. I have personally known only one CD who was gay. I know of some CDS who are, in effect, bi as they have sexual attractions to and relations with both men and women. Some of these CDs only consider a relationship with a man when they are presenting as a woman. Many "experts" think that the percentage of CDs that have a gay sexual orientation is probably about the same as for the general populace or might even be a little less. As usual, any of these concepts are nearly impossible to prove.
Sexual orientation and gender expression are not linear in nature.
[SIZE=2]To me, it sounds like your confusing gender with sexuality..[/SIZE]Quote:
Originally Posted by FemmeElastique
[SIZE=2]Just because CD or TS lives or dresses female doesn't automatically mean they want to have sex/relations with a man..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]A MTF TS woman, whether she be pre-op or post-op can be either Bi, or straight (meaning she likes men), or a lesbian..being the top 3..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I'm a pre-op TS, and consider myself a straight woman & do like men, but I'm in no way shape or form attracted to gay men... [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]And if a gay man was attracted to me, then I would have to take that as an insult..because I'm woman, not a man..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I'll say this though, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I don't go to gay bars or clubs, but ever since I started living 24/7 last year as a woman, I have had Many Bi & lesbian woman come on to me..and these are woman that I once thought were totally straight & had no prior knowledge of them being Bi or gay....[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So now I know that if I ever did go down that lesbian path, I sure wouldn't have a hard time finding a date every night... :heehee:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]But regardless, I still want a really good man..[/SIZE]
I'm a CD who has only had hetero experiences, but who is open (top or bottom), to...other...experiences. At this point, guys, in general, don't turn me on. Hot women and hot trannies DO. I would "do" a beautiful trannie before "doing" a woman at this point. What does that make me?
I agree with anneliese. MtF TS and women only.Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneliese
I think the last sentence is what I was looking for. Sexual orientation and gender expression are not linear in nature. I just figure that if we crossdressed, it would be to attract and be with men. U know, that whole opposite thing, man and woman together. But I see that's not how it always is.Quote:
Originally Posted by carhill2mn
[QUOTE=Karen564;2156598][SIZE=2]To me, it sounds like your confusing gender with sexuality..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Just because CD or TS lives or dresses female doesn't automatically mean they want to have sex/relations with a man..[/SIZE]
Yeah, I think that's what happened. Just confusing gender with sexuality. Or thinking that if we alter our physical bodies or outward appearance that everything would be hetero. But I'm understanding better now.
I will just say that ALL of my experiences with Crossdressers has been with gay guys, up until my husband came out to me.
I never realized until then that there were so many, even a majority, of straight guys who crossdress.
I actually questioned my husbands sexuality at first because of this.
My best friend in my early 20s was a VERY passable crossdresser and he was bi but leaned more towards gay. And he was just one of many gay crossdressers I knew/know.
Anyway, speaking from my experience there are a lot of gay crossdressers.
Don't know if that helps, but there you go :D :love: