I realize that most crossdressers don't contemplate any surgery, but yet many may wish they have been born as genetic females-should would make life easier, I think. Thoughts? you?
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I realize that most crossdressers don't contemplate any surgery, but yet many may wish they have been born as genetic females-should would make life easier, I think. Thoughts? you?
Can't say i wish i was a genetic female. I like who i am and i like to CD. Wouldn't quite be the same any other way.
Without a doubt, and I had an understanding of that since I was little.
The question then becomes "What are you going to do about it?"
Life certainly would not have been any easier though, more correct perhaps.
Everyday I wake up I wish i was borned a female
Yes, I do. I believe I am female in mind and personality, but unfortunately not body. I want to be treated like a woman. All I can do about it is dress like one and hopefully become presentable. Eventually I may consider transition, but it's not possible right now.
The key difference between a cross-dresser and a transsexual is that a cross-dresser only wants to appear female on a part time basis. The transsexual, if granted the magic wish of being able to live full time as a girl would gladly take that offer, even though she knew she could never be a man again.Quote:
Originally Posted by harley47
Personally, as I share in my book, I was about 2 years old when I would make dresses out of vacuum cleaner bags, skirts out of towels, I wanted to be a girl even then. I wanted to be pretty even then. I hated getting haircuts, because I thought all I had to do to be treated like a girl was grow my hair long.
Like many transsexuals, I hung out with girls until I was about 6 years old, when it became a bad thing, and after than, when someone called me a "Sissy" it usually came with severe physical violence. The term "Sticks and Stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" had obviously never been a Sissy - being called a Sissy told everybody where to throw the stones and who to hit with the sticks - sticks that were usually about 2 inches in diameter - like softball bats, baseball bats - or tree branches of similar size.
I went into "Stealth mode" learning to hide my true identity so well that I eventually began to believe my own lies. However, when I started puberty, I hated turning male so much that I tried to commit suicide - about 200 times. Somehow I survived despite my best efforts. I enjoyed giving other women pleasure, but didn't respond to their initiatives. I couldn't have an orgasm with a woman until I was 21, and even then she had to tie me to a bed and wear an outfit that I wanted to wear. When she found out that I was a dresser, she dropped me like a hot potato. Left a note on my car.
It took 2 years to work up the nerve to try sex again, this time with a tom-boy who liked to dress and act more like a boy than a girl. I had hoped that she was transgendered and would accept me for being transgendered. She pretended to, but after about a year, she realized this wasn't just a "Phase" and lost all desire to have sex with me, and vice versa. We did it 2-3 times a year. In her words it was "So he'll remember what he isn't getting". When we did have sex it usually had a price far higher than I really wanted to pay. Having a baby, a brand new car, a daughter, moving to New York (where transgender rights were protected) to Colorado (where transgender parents could be declared dead to their children and ALL visitation rights revoked - but no reduction in child support). She even tried to rape me twice. Once I got over the panic, I ended up enjoying it, which she hated. She even had an affair, which I didn't try to stop, if it meant keeping her. Finally, she told me she was going to marry her boyfriend. I did make her wait a year - hoping she would change her mind.
After the divorce, I went to gender counseling, and began the process of transition. I was living 128 (168 hours/week - 40 hours at work) in Real Life Experience as a woman. I even found a bisexual woman who shared her lesbian lovers with me. I was ready to start hormones, when my wife showed me a letter from a social worker, addressed to a conservative judge - recommending supervised visitation because my visits were harming the kids. With supervised visitation, the supervisor would have found any excuse - ESPECIALLY hints of cross-dressing - to revoke visitation entirely - without reducing my child support.
The child support left me with no money for electrolysis, therapists, hormones, or surgeries anyway. I stopped the transition - moved away for what I had originally planned to be 6 months, and after I left, my ex-wife outed me to my son, threatened to put him in a foster home (her husband's sister) - and Colorado revoked all civil rights for the GLBT community. I talked to my kids on the phone.
If I had known in 1977, what I know now, I would have tried to get out of Colorado to NY or San Francisco and transitioned then.
Even as recently as 2 years ago, I would have told you I was a cross-dresser - even though I knew differently. However, if - any time between 1990 and today, I had won the lottery, one of the first things on my shopping list would have been the sex change.
For me, no. One gets taken a lot more seriously as a male. I'm not really a physical person in terms of being highly grounded in or valuing physical things, so to be taken more credibly intellectually and artistically is something I wouldn't wish to lose. And one really does get taken less seriously as a woman on average. So, would I have achieved what I have achieved if I started there? Plus, there are other practicalities of life. I can wander around at night and not really feel threatened. People I'm involved with don't think they have a right to "own" me, at least not in the same sense. I can feel safer traveling solo in a foreign country. All things I've just casually observed.
Do you mean, however, what if I could be female and have none of the previous things be the case? Yeah, I would probably switch even if I could never switch back.
However, if no one cared whether one was a CD'er or had a trans medical history, and there were no stigma to that, than that would be okay as well, I think.
I'm okay with what I am in the meantime. I'm not physically dysphoric, which makes it easier. Perhaps in twenty years, technology will have transformed everything :)
Goes for me too, every morning… with every breath.Quote:
Originally Posted by LIKETODRESS2
I wish I'd have been born female, as I've long realized I was different from my male peer group, but I don't carry this realization as a burden. My recent "outing" has freed me from a great deal of the guilt and need for secrecy that I used to feel, and my new found freedom to dress (at home only, for now) is leading me to the realization that my femininity is much more than just the clothes I wear.
My dressing is proving to be the key that has unlocked the feminine side of my heart. This forum is a major element in gaining the courage to turn that key. Thank you sisters for pointing the way. Elfin
Quote:
Originally Posted by LIKETODRESS2
I absolutely agree! I wish I'd been born a girl. Every day, every morning and with every breath.Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn2006
well, i agree, i love being a female, love to be dressed as a female, i act feminine too. i am a total feminine
My first instinct is to say Yes as I think that I could have done all the things in life that I have done and still have been a female, but (always that but):heehee: then you have to think that I would not have my wife and children ( well I am assuming I would not ) so I don't really know what to say.
Actually, this ultimately the real answer for me, not just about the question asked, but everything. We would all be different, and who knows who that different person would be?Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanne f
Yes the more you think about it the more perplexing it gets as like you have said it would change everything , or you can assume it would , I believe that a female can done most things that a male can do so that would have not been a problem but then you have to think ,would I have wanted to do the same things so it changes every thing again , maybe I just think to much , thought you are meant to get senile in old age ( hey maybe I am that is why I am writing this ):DQuote:
Originally Posted by JadeEmber
My gut response to this thread is hell yeah, without hesitation.
However, as the interesting turn of this thread sinks in; I'm not so sure. I can't help but be reminded of one of my favorite movies as a prime example of how life may be effected by this decision. Watching "Butterfly Effect" with Ashton Kutcher can be very thought provoking when you think about this question.
My biggest thing to add when contemplating something like this would be to ask one simple follow up question. That would be, "Would the grass always be greener on the other side of the fence?"
Oh, I can't deny that I've wondered what it would have been like to have really been born as Amy. But wish I had been? I'm not so sure. For one thing, I have enjoyed a great deal of success in my career, doing something that I enjoy and am very good at. How much of my talent for what I do would have been altered by changing that XY to an XX? How much would it have been altered if I'd received the kind of socialization that a girl growing up in the 1970's and 1980's would have gotten? Would I really want to give that up? Would I have been happy doing something else? I've no way to know, and so any thought of wishing I'd been born female is tempered by the age-old caveat, "Be careful what you wish for...you might get it."
- Amy
sums it up for me tooQuote:
Originally Posted by darla_g
At first I thought, yes yes yes !!! My mother always wanted a girl. But would I have wanted to grow up as a female in the fifties and sixties. I don't think so. I then realized that I have the best of both worlds. AmyGailRT hit it right on the nose. In my field there were very few opportunities for women (at that time) Now; if I could be reborn here in 2013, I might think differently.
I am very happy with who I am. I like things a little on the femme side but am mostly male.
Part of me says yes and part says no. The obvious thing is being born female I would never have met my lovely wife. Also I think CDs appreciate feminine things more that GGs just take for granted.
Maria
Yes I do wish I was born A female. I am finally on HRT but maybe waited to late to start ( 50 ) I have always fantasied what it would be like to be A genetic female. Will I go all the way at my age I doubt it but if i was in my 20D's again definitely would.
I was. . .just with the wrong plumbing that caused my early life conditioning to be skewed.
Most definitely. My parents told me many times that I should have been born female when I was young.
Yes, I think I should have been...yes, I wish I had been. But I'm not and wasn't so I deal with it and express who I am in various ways.
Unlike my TS sisters I don't feel that I was born in the wrong body, just would have preferred to be been in a different one.
I've known since a very early age that something was seriously wrong. Me being male is proof that God has a sense of humor.-Celeste
Yes, I'm pretty much convinced of it after a lot of thought. My reasons are based on sound thinking too and not just a feeling.Quote:
Do you think you should have been born female?
i think i am a girl in a boys body most of my family member also tell me i'm very feminine and i need to change(they don't know i CD). i m very shy(introvert) sometimes i feel paranoid i'm not strong actually very weak find hard to lift weights also. I've mood swings also i usually stay solitary i feel the weight of the world but i think if i was a female life could have been much easier at least i could have expressed my self to others
Yes, every day I wish I had been Born a Girl! I grew up in the late 50's and early 60's and I wanted to be a girl. I got caught several times trying on my mothers dresses and she beat me for it. She also threatened me if she ever caught me doing it again. I thought there was something drastically wrong with me and I could not tell anyone how I felt.
I kept this inside me for decades, until I started using the Internet and found this site, as well as a few others to show me that I was not the only one in the whole world that felt this way, AND that people have felt like this for centuries!
It hurt me so much to suppress my feelings and to keep thinking that I am Crazy, something is Mentally Wrong with me. This actually caused my hair to start turning gray when I was in my 30’s! This is a Terrible thing to live with!
Like many people on this forum have said in this thread and many others, "If I were in my 20's and I knew then what I know now, I would transition and have SRS" But for me now, that is not possible, it is too late. My life would not allow it. I wish I could live full time as Barbara, but that is not possible either.
I am lucky in that I am not married, never have been. I have never had any luck with relationships, probably because of the Girl that lives inside of me.
Yes, I wish I had been born Female, every time I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I am very lucky now that I do have an older GG Friend that knows about Barbara and allows me to become her. She helps me with “Girl Lessons”!! Growing up male, we were never taught things like “Knees together, lips apart” and how to walk, sit, and act like a girl should. She has taken me shopping and helped me pick out clothes. I told her about a “TG Prom” that will be held in April, and she said I really need to go to this and meet other people like me. So at least I do have some release now, which does help. Maybe sometime in the near future things will change, but for now I will deal with this as best I can. I wish everyone who feels like I do, the best of luck always!
Barbara Jean
Yes very very much wish I had been born female, I'm afraid if there was a magic pill that would change me overnight I would overdose. But then I would no longer be a crossdresser, just the true female I'm emulating, which is fine being who I feel I am. That would make life much easier. As for surgery the only thing I have contemplated, or should I say contemplating are breast implants in near future.Quote:
Originally Posted by harley47
Yes I know I should have been born a female, I'm the homemaker in many ways. I do all the cooking, housework and domestic work in the house. One day I was cooking my wife was sipping wine when she said to me "you look so happy, to bad you can't dress the part of June Cleaver housewife with a dress and a string of pearls" she was right.
Yes, I think I should have been born female! my inner self tells me that, just have to match that up with whats on the outside though.
Life may have been worse for me if I had been born female.
I am happy with the status quo.
Ruthie, I am much like you. I am the homemaker and always have been. And like some of the others here my mother also thought I was supposed to be born female. And given the choice, I would prefer to have been born female.Quote:
Originally Posted by ruthie801
Yes, Should have born female it would make things a lot easier, at the very least if a woman wants to dress as a male it is called fashion. A female cans always be a tom-boy and male dresses as a girl and they are called every name in the book that is derogatory.
Born female? No. I DO wish I could dress the way I wanted without all the negative crap.
When I was younger, I used to dream every night about waking up as a girl. :daydreaming: After I left the navy, aged 29, I took hormones for a short time. Then I realised that my wife and kids meant more to me than anything else, so in my 30's I finally came to accept my 6ft 4, frame and size 13 feet. :eek:
Now aged 50+ I’m sat here in the closet, happy that I've made the right choices in life. Two kids making a success of their own lives and a loving wife, who finally accepted me as Jane, three years ago, after 28 years of marriage.
Clearly our lives would have been very different if I'd been born a genetic female. We would have been spared a lot of the difficult challenges, we have had to overcome together over the years. But isn't it the challenges that make life worthwhile and bond relationships. :cheers:
Rah, we are kindred spirits. By the way you describe yourself, I am just like you. You're not alone, girl.Quote:
rah
i think i am a girl in a boys body most of my family member also tell me i'm very feminine and i need to change(they don't know i CD). i m very shy(introvert) sometimes i feel paranoid i'm not strong actually very weak find hard to lift weights also. I've mood swings also i usually stay solitary i feel the weight of the world but i think if i was a female life could have been much easier at least i could have expressed my self to others
Life isn't easier or harder for either sex; it's just different. Being female brings on a whole set of new problems instead of the ones a man has, not to mention the constant bathroom issue E V E RY S I N G L E T I M E; I tried doing a week of pulling everything off and sitting and it's really, really inconvenient, it would be made worse if I had to constantly adjust all the clothes too, not to mention having to make sure the seat is clean, or just 'hover' as the girls do when they have to go when out at a club, while holding their purse in their teeth because there's no place safe to put it.Quote:
Originally Posted by harley47
As someone who is stuck with always feeling like I'm supposed to be female, sure it would be better to have lived as one, it would have at least removed this crossdressing problem that virtually guarantees I'm never going to have a normal romantic relationship. But at this point in my life, changing my physical sex just to make that part of my life congruent, isn't going to make things any better; there aren't any women interested in MTF transsexuals, either.
I don't know if I would wish that. I feel somewhat estranged from the male world despite doing a fair job of filling a role in it. I'm just not all that comfortable with the aggressive behaviors that are needed for success in male social situations. I wonder, though, if I would feel equally estranged in the female world if I were a genetic female. In that situation I might be just as deficient in my ability to fit in as I am in male world.
I think that we all subscribe to a fair amount of "grass is greener" syndrome. :)
I should have been born female, I still want to be female, inside I am female, so.......hmmmmm let me think about it.....the answer is yes.
Over the years, I thought about this many times and wondered why I was born male. It seems life would have been easier in many ways if I had been born female. Of course, I realise that women have a different set of challenges in life. But, I spent most of my life working hard to be a man. I was 43 and the father of four before I was able to leave my marriage and embrace my sexuality as a gay man. I don't think at this point in my life (58 now), I can see a pathway to transitioning to female. Nor do I think I really want that now. But, I am finally giving myself the freedom to explore my feminine side in a new way with crossdressing. Who knows what this will lead to or what place it will have in my life down the road. But, I'm just going to enjoy it now...live in the present.
I feel the same as CatherineQuote:
Originally Posted by Lady Catherine
To answer in one word: yes!
If I had been F.A.B. I most likely would not be here on the Forum right now. I would have been too busy being a family matriarch because I care deeply for them.:)
I would give everything to have been born female. Some might be right about the grass appearing greener on the other side. Nevertheless I would still give everything to have been born female. My accepting wife will make a comment from time to time about some aspect of female life and say something about it's not pleasant. I understand all that, I understand that males still enjoy some dominance in the world and maybe safer, nevertheless still I would give everything to have been born and lived as a woman. Now late in my life as I realize this I'm seeing a gender therapist with the goal of transitioning in the near future and yes it just may cost me everything. I guess this all takes me out of the realm of being a crossdresser though.
AnitaH
LOL, I was out earlier in the day and my daughter asked me if I ever wished I was a girl. I asked her where the question came from and she said it was a random question that just popped into her head.
Some days I wish I were. Women have the best clothes.
:D
Me too Liketodress.Quote:
Originally Posted by LIKETODRESS2
Often think I would have been more "comfortable in my skin" if I were born female...
Although I don't contemplate on going for transition, I'd wish I was born female. From young, I guess much of me wanted to be one pretty much even thou it was "well concealed". However, now I'm more or less accustomed to the life I'm dealt with, and trying to get by, making the most of what I can.
But I dun think life would be pretty much different if I was born that way. Because everything would have been like it'd be so natural, growing up as a GG.
Nope, not in the slightest