... as well as the crooked ones.
Since there is a rumor circulating that this CDing thing is sexual for SOME...
IF you had a partner that was always ready, willing and able, is it possible you would "dress less"?
Printable View
... as well as the crooked ones.
Since there is a rumor circulating that this CDing thing is sexual for SOME...
IF you had a partner that was always ready, willing and able, is it possible you would "dress less"?
I can confirm that it is at least partly a sexual thing for at least one of us (sexual gratification is certainly not the only reason I dress).
I have a partner that is always willing, ready and able, have had for years - it doesn't seem to have reduced my desire to dress one bit. I will say however, that my desire goes down a bit after the big "O". Comes right back though.
For myself I would not dress less at all. some may but i'm curious to see others answers.
Jenny
wouldn't change anything for me, seeing as how I look like this most of the time.
I don't necessarily equate the two... CDing does tend to increase the old libido but not by that much. And since there is no, has been no and apparently will be no meeting of Donna and the wife I keep the two aspects quite seperate.
A little less, but only because I'd be spending more time with said partner. Still don't think the desire would go away.
Umm. I don't think I get this. My wife is always "ready, willing and able" and it has no affect on my "desire for the attire."
No. I don't generally dress as a prelude to sex and I don't dress as a substitute for sex.
I have a reduction in the desire to dress after intimacy, but for only a very short time. Say a few hours.
Even when I was younger and newly married. The wife being always being willing and able. The desire to dress was was always there. I was repressing it, and hoping it was going to go away.
Now I have accepted myself, and really love my duality.
Well, I started dressing when I was about 3-4 years old, and it certainly wasn't sexual.
It wasn't sexual until I hit puberty and my testosterone levels went crazy. Then it remained sexual until I got old and my testosterone levels waned.
Your brain is hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. So when you cross-dress your brain goes into action releasing neurotransmitters: dopamine is what provides the urges to seek gratification, sexual or otherwise (its also associated with compulsive behavior), then there is serotonin which is associated with sensations of well-being, happiness, reduces stress, and improves sleep, and then there is oxytocin which is associated with social empathy, trust, bonding, and love. The testosterone is associated with your sex drive.
When you orgasm your dopamine levels drop and your prolactin levels to up. Prolactin is associated with the pulling away after sex. So immediately after orgasm you may experience a loss of the pleasure with your cross-dressing. Of course if you wait a few minutes your cross-dressing interests will return.
As far as having a willing sexual partner reducing the urge to cross-dress: Well, at one time I thought that when I get married I wouldn't need to cross-dress anymore. It was a misconception. The cross-dressing condition is hard-wired in the brain, and it continues to release neurotransmitters whether or not I have a willing sexual partner.
No, my partner is generally accommodating, but when she is not, it dose not appear to affect my dressing as much as other factors.
Maybe there is something wrong with me but there is more to my life than where my next meal coming from and my next "O".
I think part of it may be a silly quest, the challenge of finding the perfect heels in size 15W:lol:
It is an interesting thought. But our private life is quite healthy and available at all times for each of us, but it is true, I don't think of "dressing" during the moment, but then again I don't think of dressing one way or another or anything but her at the moment, but when the heat goes down, I am instantly in my mind wanting to be dressed and want to present myself as Krissy although it may always be to myself. :(
I don't know why you put straight in quotes. Do you doubt that there are actually crossdressers who are straight? That's what your title implies.
Deedee
I don't think it would change a thing... I always try and dress when I can.. And yes after the Big "O" I also find myself not wanting to dress immediatly after but that doesn't last long... The thing holding me back from dressing at the moment is that it's coming into winter here and getting too cold to undress when I do get the chance lol 😳😳
I definitely crossdress less when I have a steady girlfriend and regular sex. It probably has a bit to do with not having as much opportunity to do so, as much as not having female companionship and sex as regularly. When I'm single, I tend to crossdress more, and want to go all out. It's like I told my one friend who knows about Bailey:" I'm the best, coolest and funnest girlfriend I could ever imagine myself wanting. I just wish I was a little prettier, lol"
If I ever have a girlfriend who knows, I'm pretty sure how much I want to dress will have alot to do with how much she likes it
I think the question is offensive. I'm surprised the moderators didn't toss it.
There's some merit to what other have said about a temporary loss of interest in CD'ing immediately after the big "O," but we'd have to be having sex an awful lot to eliminate the desire to CD.
Like...hourly.
I will say this - I've notice that on occasions when my wife is dressed in something really nice, or really dressed up, my desire to CD seem to wane a bit. I think my attraction to skirts, heels, makeup, etc. are somewhat satisfied when she's dressed that way. I just like being close to it. But that's not her normal way of dressing (jeans, no make up, is typical), and she's still very pretty even "dressed down" but the CD part of me is always hoping for the "hyper-feminine" look. So, I fill that gap myself!
When I was with my wife, her availability sexually didn't inhibit my cross dressing. My GUILT over cross dressing inhibited it. My FEAR that she'd discover me, inhibited it. So I guess her presence inhibited it - it reduced my opportunities. Honestly, all that was enough to keep me from doing it for 17-18 years. Once it started up again, nah, didn't matter. The same was true in my first marriage.
I don't find the question offensive at all. I'd like to say that if my current partner was a bit more adventurous, a bit more willing to get all dolled up, I would cut out the dressing almost entirely. Such a large part of why I dress is tied up in what I can really only describe as an "out-of-body" experience. When dressing, I imagine myself in the role/persona of my SO dressing up to please me.
But...
A few of my more recent experiences with SAs that have seemed somewhat attracted to the specific act _of_ crossdressing (one tempting nearly to the point of cheating) have me questioning my earlier conviction. A perfect world would have my wife flip a switch to let me test that theory, but as I have to beg to get her to consider wearing attractive bra/panty sets - much less sexy, provocative lingerie or even pantyhose - I don't hold out hope for that.
I like any question that gives me the opportunity to tease out insight. Glad it was allowed.
I have a partner that is always ready willing and able. I find that my sexuality and cross dressing often go hand in hand. I feel sexy wearing those perfect panties. Sometimes I dream of coming home to dress in snug foundation and hose. I find that my partner and I have better communication, tactile interactions and sex when I am dressed as a woman. So I would answer yes to the question 'Is this "CDing thing" a sexual thing for me?.' Yes it is sexual. But so is the scent of leather, the tight fit of a corset, the taste of of a perfectly coated chocolate strawberry, the deep vibration of a vintage well tuned Hiboy pickup……..in other words, so many things in my life are sexual. I am a sexual person. I like to cross dress, and this is all the more enjoyable having a partner who appreciates this twist. I spent many years searching for a partner who appreciated this as well as my other traits I need to express. With prior partners, I was not able to freely express my desires to cross dress, and it was like removing a vowel from the alphabet, and all communication was stunted. So yes, cross dressing is sexual for me, very sexual. I dress more knowing my partner and I both enjoy how it enhances our relationship. We both derive different pleasures form the exchange, and we are both okay with this arrangement.
Nikki
I've often wondered the same thing, Wild. And, I believe so!
Since I'm single, if I were to hook up with a lady, she would be "new". "New" women have always been exciting for me in the past. And, I assume if she could tear me away from Sherry, she must be exciting!
The real question is: What happens when the newness wears off? Yawn?
My girlfriend loves when I dress and finds it as a turn on not to mention we both have very high sex drives and I dress about the same as normal.
WAH,
In my case no. My wife and I have a healthy sex life (me en boy during those times). So I would not be dressing less as it is not linked to my sex life.
Hugs
Isha
No, it matters not whether I self stimulate or my spouse takes care of business. Oh how I wish it were sexual! It would eliminate the frustration, life would be so much simpler... Take clothing, add orgasm, and VALLAH! Wait till next time, repeat. I imagine even this is too simple for a person who identifies as a fetish crossdresser . I know you are passionate about proving your thesis on the sexuality of a crossdresser, but the reason why hundreds of years of professional psychologists have not determined a "causality" is because it is way too complicated. Humans don't have instincts, no two people need act the same way in any given scenario, so the behaviorism theory falls short as well. Take a closer look at gender theory and how some people really do have a non cis gender binary going on.
Surprising the number of replies that state it would not deter the desire to dress. Partner participation in dressing is enviable as well. A monogamous relationship usually dampers the female desire for intercourse, and in my case avoidance of intimacy for not wanting to have it lead to intercourse most often. Decades ago the Mrs. would dress to please me, now it's take care of that desire myself. Yes I would indulge less often, but not completely as the imagination is nurtured by creative thinking.
Tina appeared just after our 34th wedding anniversary. Tina brought us more mentally intimate, in that we started to discuss topics that hadn't before considered topics of discussion. That has never meant that Tina took the place of physical intimacy. The Tina experience is sensual, no doubt, but if anything, the mental intimacy has been an enhancement that is more of a symbiosis.
Well, sort of.
If "ready, willing, and able" means " spead 'em, no.
I'm attracted to ultra-fem, over-the-top look. If she did that, yes, that would reduce my need to create that look as a CDer.
Not if she encouraged me, and that is what happened when I was ....."Twenty." :)
It wasn't just one, but it was only one at a time.
I have scruples you know. :)
Why do I get the feeling there's a touch of obsessiveness about this thesis of connection between sexual gratification and dressing...??
And why would that be such a strong theme that comes out again and again...?? :facepalm:
To answer the question: No - there is no connection for me between a mutual and consensual, loving and sexual activity with my wife (or another loved one, in times past..;)) and expressing my feminine alter-ego.
In the same way as I believe there would be no connection for me between that same mutual act and sexual self-gratification... Just because they happen to result in the same short term, physical event for a GM does not mean that they are the same, by any stretch of even the most vivid imagination.
It may be different for more shallow individuals... :)
Katey x
Originally there was a strong sexual aspect to my dressing, but over time that disappeared and is no longer a factor for me.
As for having a willing and eager partner, I do and as Kim said, I don't dress for sex, no matter how you look at it. This is all about being me and nothing more.
I think I have the opposite problem. If she were less "ready, willing and able" I could finally come out of hiding. Who know what I would do with all that spare time.
No less! Certainly yes to the ready willing and able, and more dressing! I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. Lol!
it is a legitimate question although maybe not in good tasteQuote:
Originally Posted by marny
In fact I think it is a very bad straw argument. The scenario actually could increase desire for sexual contact. Personally I think it is a moot question
Gypsy- Where exactly did you come up with the theory that a monogamous relationships usually dampens the female desire for intercourse? What an odd thought.
I love when people say "males are this way ______" or "females are this way _______" as if we humans could be so easily classified. You all could just simplify the process and say "Some humans are this way _______ "
So WAH to your original point, I am a straight cross dresser, and yes I know I am straight, for an undeniable, unequivocal, been offered many opportunities to not be straight, cross dresser. Oh and yeah, it does not matter one bit how I am dressed, and no none of my fantasies ever involve anything but being with women. I love though how you seem to think that anyone who says they are straight is actually suspect. Okay, so whatever.
Point being, my wife is always willing for whatever, and no it makes no difference to my desires to express my gender. I will repeat what I have said frequently, contrary to your personal beliefs, my Os are not tied to my dressing. Nothing wrong for those that do have that connection, but not all of us do.
Not everything that men do is tied to our insatiable desires to stick it into something.
There were quite a few straight CDers who posted to the "How straight of a guy are you" thread. And why wouldn't they? Forum Rules don't prohibit it. The Q WAS posted for everyone. [At least that was how I read it] It was probably silly of me to assume most of the folks who responded to that thread would read some of the other responses in the thread.
I was dressing back in my teens whilst I was with my wife and we were very active. So was my desire for dressing, but I was not out to the wife then.
However, the rule of inverse proportionality in this respect (more sex equals less dressing) certainly doesn't apply for me.
Dressing and the solo 'O' were certainly connected from very early on though.
Rebecca
Dressing is something that is enjoyable during most any activity. I would even dress during physical intimacy should my wife be okay with it as which genders clothes I wear does not affect/is not affected by sexual availability or appetite. Women partake in sexual congress as do men so it feels normal either way.
Sure, the refractory zone exhibits a muted desire for dressing (male or female attire) but so it is for the desire for most anything else, really. Just lying there for a bit savouring the experience is the usual with most internal human drives come back online in short order.
An interesting thought.
So, Katey, those who connect sexual gratification and dressing are shallow?
Nope - sorry if that didn't come out clear... :)
The OP implication that a relationship with a partner (that obviously includes a sexual element, but is clearly much, much more) can somehow be equated with dressing that may (or may not) include some sexual gratification... And that therefore more of one could replace the other...?
In my book, someone signs up for that, that's shallow. :straightface:
Katey x
I don't equate the two. Dressing fem is who I am and don't do it for any sexual gratification. Sex for me on the other hand is what I might do with the right GG partner.
Before coming to accept this was part of me and that it was ok, I was deep in denial. My dressing was very infrequent, ended as soon as satisfaction was achieved, and yes if I recall only happened during times of sexual draught. Today it's quite different. My dressing isn't about achieving gratification. We were enjoying an active sex life prior to discovery/acceptance. Dressing has enhanced an already sex life.
Hug
Rita
Lol can I ask why this topic is only aimed at straight guys??
I've crossdressed since I was 6 and because Ive done it since that age I see it as normal every day life, I crossdress because I just prefer girls clothes over guys stuff I go with what ever makes me feel good.
the only sex connection between me and clothes is in the intimate times if my bf wants me to dress up in something cute.
I wouldn't know as I've only ever had one girlfriend. I didn't dress when I was with her, but we were only together a month and at the time my CDing was pretty low key as I lived with my parents and was either out partying or at the girlfriends having sex lol. Part of me thinks I would because is have someone to share time with. But I don't know if the desire would ever completely go away.
I had a partner/wife for almost 50 year before cancer took her. She knew that I was a CD and actually loved me to be in feminine clothes. My desire to dress was not in the least changed by her, nor would it be by any other partner. I dress enfemme because I like to, and that is all that matters! And by the way, my underwear is almost always enfemme, regardless of what else I have on!
Not to beat a dead horse, but I've been thinking about this all day. I don't know if there's real scientific merit to it or not, but it certainly seems to apply to me. Right now I'm struggling with the huge to "indulge" and trying to resist because I know the bad feelings that will follow. What you said about the Prolactin makes a lot of sense to me! I've literally tried to force myself not do undress immediately after, and I can't do it. Once the sexual urge is satisfied, I just feel stupid and weak. Of course, that lasts about 20 minutes! The serotonin rush always keeps me coming back for more. I guess it's kind of an addiction, yeah?Quote:
Originally Posted by Confucius
wait...I thought all CDers were gay? there are straight ones? no way
All of us certainly aren't gay. Clothing has little to do with sexuality for many people here.
At to answer the OP's question, as with a few of the other girls here, I'm in a commited relationship and my girlfriend is fully supportive of this side of me. For me, its been the opposite as you suggest. As I've gotten closer with her and further into our relationship I've tended to dress en femme much more.
Its when I'm single that I find myself shying away from Jaymee
No it's a well known fact that guys who crossdress are not gay, it's them exploring their feminine side:) which is a good thingQuote:
Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
Hi WAH, I don't think that anything will make me dress less.
CrossJess, the OP did include others (crooked = not straight, the way I read it).
Katey, thanks for the clarification.
Yes, a relationship would include many things besides sex, but sex is included, and sex sometimes involves crossdressing. The OP poses the question as a choice between crossdressing OR sex with a ready, willing, and able partner. It's never that simple. Still, I was in the minority that answered "yes, sort of".