Do you think it's easier being a girl?

Yes, Tink is still here :). Given a common thread I read here at the moment, I had to ask a couple of questions that have been bugging me:

1) Do you think it's easier being a girl?
2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?

I won't bother refuting why things are not easier for girls as the list would be a novella and I'm pretty sure most here do understand how hard things can be for women. So I guess that's my third question:

3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)

Thanks for reading. :)

I doubt it would be easier to be a girl. But you have to remember we are cross-dressers and we have an innate desire to dress and look like a girl. To do this it would seem to be easier just to be a girl. This would seem to alleviate a lot of stress in our lives. But Yes it causes us to view female lives through rose colored glasses. Take it for what it is, just fantasy.

Those are good questions.

1) I don't think so. Men pretty much run society in the west, and women are at best second-class citizens everywhere else.
2) I don't know why I started dressing, but the clothes, hair, and other beauty aspects are certainly fun. The confirmation might come from the objectification of women? I don't know, but it is fun!
3) no one in particular, it just seemed I was predisposed to the lifestyle somehow. Although I did not know it at the time, even when I was 5, I identified with girls really we'll. not that I didn't identify with boys either. I wasn't one of those that didn't play with fire trucks and baseball, it's just that both seemed okay. Never felt like I was trapped in the wrong body either, although I certainly am envious of a pretty girls/woman's body.

Oh my! It's too early to ponder these things!

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Originally Posted by ReluctantDebutant

Take it for what it is, just fantasy.

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Maybe this answer would have been simpler! :battingeyelashes:

I don't think it is any easier to be a girl. I would say some aspects of life would be much more difficult while others may be easier. As far as crossdressing goes it would be nice if girl life was easier. Unfortunately I think being a girl is much more difficult for crossdressrs.

1. No absolutely not in sense of women's place in society. When you crossdress you get a small insight into some of the compromises women are forced to make sometimes. Like not walking alone at night. But even to the extent of buying clothes, make up etc, relationships, career decisions. All of these I believe are more complicated for women.

On the other hand if you were to ask if it would be easier for me to BE a girl then the answer is yes. Trying to behave like a man I find difficult.

2. Well dressing as a girls frees me from my difficulty in being a man. But is it easier?

3. I can't think of anyone who influenced me. Do I think women are superior? Sometimes. To me women are the base model humans. Men are a kind of variation who are needed on occasion. But I don't want to be unkind to men either. I like women more than men but I do like some men.

Tinks' Weekend Puzzler.. always look forward to these... :D

1) I think it is far easier being male in ANY society, other than exclusively matriarchal ones, which I don't think exist anywhere...

2) On the basis I started at a very young age and had absolutely no concept of what gender really was, no - I don't believe it's had any impact whatsoever...

3) Can't think of a particular female, and as for being superior in some way - yes, you have superior choice in available fashions... and what a wonderful superiority that is for CDers to be able to dip into and pillage a little... :cheer:

Katey x

Not easier, not the reason and no one.

1) Yes, very much so!
2) No, not related at all
3) Yes, all females.

If you want hear my more detailed take on it, just shoot me an PM. Good questions Tinkerbell. I enjoy your thoughtful posts.

1. No, of course its not easier being a girl. I would match your novella with an epic trilogy on why. The feminist literature ive read illucidates GGs struggles clearly.

2. The relative difficulty of being a woman never crossed my mind when accepting i was a CD. But ive had long discussions with GGs about whatever unique challenges they face as a woman.

3. 100% of the women ive known go out of their way to explain why life for women is more difficult. All of them say men have it better. Some even said if they had a choice they would rather been born a man.


All your questions stem from the tacit assumption we think women have it easier. Other than radical feminists, we may be the one group most sympathetic to GG problems. I may not always act like it, but i do understand your unique problems

1. No way, no how, is it easier being a girl. There is still a glass ceiling, second hand citizen attitude in our society for women. The only thing I see easier is the options they have in appearance, anything goes and no one bats an eye.
2. I love the feel of the clothes, way more comfortable and I wish we had the options to wear whatever we wanted and not be looked down upon. I guess this in part is why I do what I do. I admire the feminine form. I love how my wife can go from a good looking tomboy around the house to a stunning beauty when we go out.
3. I can't remember any females in my life that have said they have it easier. A bunch have said they are superior than us and I believe it ;) . I watch my wife juggle a thousand things at once and watch her pull it off every time. Sometimes I wonder how she does it and I'd be lost without her. LOL

Tinkerbell,
I was going to say without doubt it's easier being a guy ! I'm now beginning to struggle with the image because it's worn me out trying to live up to it and prove I'm a man. So in that sense it's easier for a girl because she doesn't have to live with that. Maybe that aspect is attractive and is possibly something we try to escape into !
The physical side of being a boy was more appealing than being a girl , even when my CDing started because it was purely sexual, once it was over, the clothes were discarded and I got on with climbing trees or playing rugby.
I don't remember having a female who influenced me, and I don't see a GG's way of life superior, it's just different. It looks more enjoyable simply because we want to dress to sample it.

When i was younger i thought being a girl would be be so much better .But as i have gotten older and seeing how society still treats women (for the most part ) i realise that we are still not all equal and that is sad !(just my opin )

Hi Tink . . . again very interesting take on things given the other threads that have popped up. So in response:

Do I think it is easier being a girl?

I really don't know as I have no perspective to judge from. I may dress like a girl from time to time, interact with the world in a manner which I deem "girl-like" but I am not a girl, have not lived as a girl so, I have no frame of reference. What I can say is that it is not easy being a person on this planet regardless of gender when we deal with day to day reality. We all have the stressors of family drama, we all worry about money (well at least most of us do), we all worry about our own mortality and we all worry about our careers. That is part of being human and we all experience our own trials and tribulations regardless of gender.

However, if I had to go with a purely academic response based on observation then "no" I do not think it would be easier being a girl especially if we (CDers) were to accept all the current sexist and misogynistic issues associated with being a woman full time. You have to remember, many of us dress part-time, go out and then return to being guys . . . easy peasy lemon squeezy. What we forget is that being a woman is not just putting on a dress, make-up and heels for a few hours and voila "June Cleaver" all my woes and miseries as a guy taken care of . . . that I am afraid is escapism. Nothing wrong with that if it helps you cope with your day to day stressors. However, to equate this "mayfly existence en femme" to "being a woman" in the world, IMHO is short sighted. Women in society have to deal with a lot of crap that guys don't have to. I have personally seen very qualified and competent women have to fight tooth and nail to gain credibility which is automatically given to most men. Sure it is slowly changing (snail's pace) as more and more women fight their way through the glass ceiling but it is still a hard fight.

Was it one of the reasons I started dressing?

Nope

Was there any one women who lead me to believe it was easier to be a woman?

No. I grew up in a household of women and with the exception of two manly men uncles spent most of my time around women and girls. I never saw them as superior or inferior to me. I viewed women/girls the same way I view people. We all have good points and we all have flaws. Some people are good and some are bad (gender does not change that).

Hugs

Isha

1. If you want to give birth to a child, feeling her grow within your body, it's pretty much required that you be a girl. Some of us have wanted this badly. I realize not all genetic women are able to become pregnant - I think they often find that to be a cruel twist of fate, too - at least if they wanted children.

If you want to wear clothes and shoes designed for women, it's generally easier to do this if you are a genetic woman, although the apparel and footwear industry are horrible about supporting women who's sizes or dimensions vary too much from a "norm" that actually applies to a minority of modern women.

In general, if you feel you are a woman, it's a LOT easier to be one if you have a woman's body. It's heaps easier to be cisgender than transgender, particularly for MtF's.

But socially in many other circumstances, men have huge and unfair advantages over women. If nothing else, you pay a 21%+ "tax" on your earning capacity for having a uterus, whether you use it or not.

2. No, quite the opposite. The mismatch between my body and my gender made me feel my situation was hopeless, and that while growing up, I was alone, and had no support of any sort to try to live an authentic life. Crossdressing in secret was as close as I dared hope to come to escaping the waking nightmare that was my life as a man. It's not that, in abstract I had a particularly bad life. But it was a lie, and every single move I made or word I said was calculated to hide who I really was. I lived in fear, hated myself, and those few stolen moments of CDing were like a temporary furlough from prison.

I never really believed I could find peace and freedom in my life until last year. I didn't even know for sure I'd get those things, only that I was so miserable that death was preferable to the private hell I lived in.

3. Yes, I have been blessed to know a number of strong women in my life, and they influenced me greatly. In particular my great Aunt Minnie. She showed me that women could be strong in ways that men just aren't. That women can succeed in doing things men think are impossible. That even in a society that was totally biased against women, that actively tried to keep them DOWN, that women could have undeniable strength and power, and that women could command respect. That men run the game by cheating - stacking the deck so they almost always win, and were it not so, some of these remarkable women could've ruled the world, making it a helluva lot kinder and more sensible place.

If I can be 10% of the woman that these women in my life were, I'll consider my transition a success beyond my wildest expectations.

Tinkerbell - When you joined this forum gained a valuable contributor.

1) No, I don't think it's easier being a girl. Questions number one and two do not seem to 'compute' for me. I.e. I don't dress because I think it is easier to be a girl. However, women have certain advantages that I sometimes envy. They can touch each other, like combing each other's hair, go "powder your nose?" socializing, cry on each other's shoulder and so on, while men, real men, are supposed to suck it up and be a man and take care of it by yourself. Then society wonders why suddenly meek mannered little Joey blows up. Or puts on a dress.

Perhaps I envy the female years between twenty and ??? when many women have enormous sexual powers.

As for myself, I neither hunt nor fish, have never owned a gun, do not watch sports unless I am engaged in them, mostly outdoors sports like cycling or boating. I prefer a tearoom over a bar. Yet I am a normal heterosexual man attracted to women. Except for, as Frédérique once pointed out: "I am not a crossdresser, I just like to dress in women's clothes." Why, I haven't the foggiest idea.

As for your question #3, perhaps the answer lies somewhere hidden in this post, even if I can't find it.

Thanks for posting the thread.

Ineke

No, it's easier to be a man, which answers all three questions.

Is it better to be a woman?

Unquestionably, YES! It's worth all the trouble to make the transformation. Sometimes I think what it would be like to give it all up and just live as a man for the rest of my life. The prospect is so bleak and depressing that I couldn't even contemplate doing such a thing.

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Originally Posted by hope springs

All of them say men have it better. Some even said if they had a choice they would rather been born a man.

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Yep, I'd agree with this. Throughout my life and through all the groups of friends I've had, there's always been (many!) a conversation about how much easier life must be as a man! My married friends are the worst - they see firsthand, I guess, how much simpler a man's life looks from ours. I'm not saying it is, either. But it sure can look that way when you're juggling as many work hours as your husband AND juggling the children AND keeping up with the family AND...I won't go on. I know many are married here and likely hear this all the time, lol.

Anyway, just wanted to mention that we can also think the grass is greener, whether this is real or imagined. We humans are an unsatisfied lot, aren't we? :)

It also seems that, so far, the influence has been less about thinking we girls have it easier and more just preferring our company...am I right? And when I say company, I mean the broad range of just enjoying being around femininity because you're men and crossdressing is fairly convenient there...all the way to feeling like you're one of us. Does this make sense??

See? This is why I stay here and annoy you all - great answers like these! It might seem like some of us GG's are just here to wind everyone up - truth is, some of us don't get the answers from our partners that satisfy our endless thoughts and concerns but every question answered here is like this little notch in the road to acceptance. I can't explain it well enough ...but I can say this helps. I know it's helped some others here, too, so thanks.

And thanks Ineke, for the kind words and for answering my thread :) x

Tinkerbell your last paragraph says it all, we get answers here that we should be getting from our partners ! I wish I could turn my brain off to the continual stream of thoughts and questions !
My wife asked is Cding all I think about ? I answered it's all I try not to think about !!
Yes you're right GGs were put on this planet to wind up the male of the species ! My wife is in the top ten !!

I'm going to break a little from the most common threads here.

1. I do think it CAN be easier. I never would make the argument that ALL types of life would be easier, but if there are certain things you want to do there are things that women get to do a lot easier. A few of the most obvious ones have been presented already, being able to be feminine (in many ways), and giving birth are a lot easier if you were born a GG. Many of these though are similar in reverse (FTM's etc) and are conditional upon WANTED behavior. Some of these become a sort of need in Trans individuals, and therefore discussions can be skewed in conversation. A strong want/need that has existed for all of ones natural life, can mean all the other complications seem incomparable, especially when society at large won't even accept them as problems.

2. In that context, there are parts of that that play into my drive to cross dress. But again the original reason along this track, was certain behaviors and expressions, not the perceived "ease", even though we can go into a chicken or the egg argument here.

3. I made so many female friends and was surrounded by so many female older relatives, I can't particularly finger one of them, but either way I don't think I could separate the two completely.

Now to add my own little grain of salt to the super oriented questions, I don't think any of these things exist in a vacuum. The difficulties in being a cross dresser, are also pretty big in many ways. Doing it well can be a financial burden (even more so for TS individuals), potential consequences can be pretty large, and it complicates ones love life (as half the threads here can attest). I really doubt most cross dressers, or even most transexuals would argue that the original drive is the perceived ease in the other sex to do EVERYTHING there is in the world, but in many cases it is the ease to express THEMSELVES that divides the perception.

If most folks think it's harder being female then why would we/CD's choose to go from secure dominate male to the lesser female with the chance of being outed, embarrassed and more vunerable???????

1) Easier?!? LOL. Not by a longshot. But it's not any easier being a man, either. Just different. I suppose it depends on what you mean by “easier.” In the limiting, binary view of gender, each has it's strengths and weaknesses – depending on an individual's point of view, the aspirations they have and the choices they do or do not make.

Gender aside, life is challenging and often times confounding. The point is to live your life as best as you can. And, if you can get through it learning through adversity and savoring happiness where you find it and do so without harming others along the way – that's a good life, indeed.

2 & 3) I began crossdressing as an unconscious reaction to the physical and psychological/emotional abuse I endured throughout my childhood. (It's complicated and I'm still figuring it out) None-the-less, I feel safer and more free to express myself honestly in the company of women, than I do around men.

I hope to read everyone's answers later, but I only have a little time to respond right now.

1&2. Many aspects of life are probably easier for women, but that's not why I crossdress or identify with femininity. I say things are often easier for women, because women are more free to express their emotions and to be close to each other, comfort each other, support each other and so on. I suppose I may have chosen at an early age to identify with femininity, because my Mom was much more appealing to me than Dad.

3. In my family my sisters probably had a much easier life than we boys did, especially we older boys. Dad was very authoritarian and abusive, mostly verbally, but often physically too. Both my parents tried to reinforce the stereotype of male behavior in me. No crying. No acting girly. I succumbed while I lived with them, but chucked it when I left home.

1) No it isn't. It is just a different set of challenges. There are a number of issues that pull both genders in many different directions.
2) No
3) I don't believe that it is easier or not. But, it could be that women's challenges are biased more towards the emotional and men's more towards the physical. If this is the case, it may be related to society's view of the traditional gender roles.

Having raised a daughter, I do not believe it is easier to be a woman. The grass does appear greener until you get there.

I would just add that saying men have it easier doesn't really tell the full story. It's more of a case that it's less complicated for men in many ways but that only works if you as a man have your life well sorted. Men generally have a higher suicide rate than women. This clearly indicates men's problems can overwhelm them.

So there are many men who are comfortable in their shoes but even they cannot always express their softer side. I see this a lot actually as for some reason people see me as someone they can open up to. This includes some men. One is a holy terror, tough and ruthless and in the company of others can come across as a boor. One to one with him I have had the most intimate conversations. The difference is astonishing. Another guy is tough too, would have been a soldier or cop except for health issues. In the group he's dominant, one to one a different person. I suppose in some ways GG would see this too in their men. The man they sit at home with being quite different to the street fighter outside.

But even then there's a pressure to be a man. When I told my wife she did say she wished I was more masculine. I can't be and one of the reasons I told her was because I was fed up trying to be someone I'm not. All men feel that pressure even if they're mild mannered and timid.

But of course most men wear that lightly. It's not difficult for them to be men, be masculine. Particularly if they are successful in their career but when it goes wrong. Well we all know what can happen, drink, depression and even violence.

None of this means I think men have it as tough as women. But we need to keep perspective.

I think all of us here in this forum understand that, if not directly then instinctively.

Maybe we sometimes look at crossdressing from the entirely wrong perspective. We don't really become a woman when we crossdress but stop being a man for a while. You cannot be masculine in a pretty dress and high heels. Isn't that the reason many of us don't wear trousers and anything that could be male or female. You have to leave the man behind entirely?

Wednesday has the best response so far. Men and women are different, and our evolved society has blessed and cursed us with privileges and responsibilities that seem to come with the territory. That's the way it is. Deal with it.

Definitely not easier, but it is more rewarding...richer I think. My mother and sisters spent a lot of time primping when I was growing up and I just followed in the same way. In my late teens and 20's...I could get by with some powder, blush and mascara, but in my mid 30's it takes ALOT more time and effort, something I don't have to do when going to work as a guy. :(
Bethany

Hi Tink,

1 - No I do not think life is easier for girls. Personally I think lots of people think others have it easier than them. The whole grass is always greener argument. I see the same generalizations made by both genders. It would be easier if ...

2 - Your question makes the assumption that what we do is a thought out choice and I don't think it is a choice to desire to be somewhere within the trans umbrella.

3 - No.

I find it so interesting in trying to wrap one's head around transgenderism that it brings up and challenges so many of societies notions about ourselves.

No I think it's harder being a girl.

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Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG

1) Do you think it's easier being a girl?

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Oh hell no. It is harder in many ways, more time to get ready, more choices to get ready, more men who think you are easy, more men who treat you like an 8 year old. Shall I go on?

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2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing?

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No I thought it would be different but not easier. In my case it was just who I was

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3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? (Or that we are maybe superior in some way?)

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no just the opposite

Thanks for reading. :)[/QUOTE]

I don't believe that by being a girl, life will be easier. That's different from if I were a girl my life would be easier in terms of trying to pass. I think women are far superior to men but that doesn't mean that I thought they had an easier life. I don't know about others on here but presenting myself as a woman has been enlightening to what women go through day-to-day (at least a very small taste of what it's like). If every man had to do it, I'm sure the world would be a different place.

Interesting question....

It really depends on which part of being easier you are talking about. Physically, bodily, etc...

I would say for me, being a man is much easier. I don't have to shave anything unless I want to. I don't have to worry about my mens clothes looking cute or anything. I grab a t-shirt and jeans and I'm done. If I'm dressing up as a man then nice pants and a good ol button up shirt.

When Amy comes out to play it takes a LOT longer to get ready. I have to shave (I swear I share DNA with Sasquatch) and that can take a while depending on how I have been able to maintain it. Then I have to fret over which clothes work better together and make me look cute. Then I have to spend 45 mins - 1 hour putting on makeup.

So for me, being a man is definitely easier.

Now, I know some GG's that don't wear any makeup, don't get dressed up very often. They brush their hair, put something in to hold it in place, put on jeans and a t-shirt and they are all set. And they look GREAT! So.... for them being a girl seems pretty easy.

Now if you take the body into consideration.. I would say Men have it a WHOLE lot easier. When men go through puberty we don't develop boobs (much to my chagrin), which I've heard can be uncomfortable. Men don't have these huge weights stuck to our chests that create back problems and can get sore if you don't have a proper fitting bra. Men don't have to go through PMS, and Men don't have to give birth to have children. Men also don't have all of the medical complications that come with having a natural vagina. There are all kinds of cancers and other issues going on with women's reproductive systems. Bodily..... Men have it way easier.

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Originally Posted by Isha

It is not easy being a person on this planet regardless of gender.

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My feelings exactly.

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Originally Posted by Amy R Lynn

It really depends on which part of being easier you are talking about....I know some GG's that don't wear any makeup, don't get dressed up very often. They brush their hair, put something in to hold it in place, put on jeans and a t-shirt and they are all set. And they look GREAT! So.... for them being a girl seems pretty easy.

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But only if one focuses on trying to attract attention. Many women want less attention paid to their bodies, and figuring out how to minimize attention to one's breasts or hips can be challenging. Also, women bear more responsibility for helping their colleagues get along and thrive and helping family members get through during childhood, illness and old age.

I wish people who were unhappy with the male roles worked harder to bring about the social change they want to see. Feminists changed society's expectations for women (somewhat), and men need to demand a similar flexibility for themselves.

Hi Tink, No on ever said that being a lady was going to be easy , But it sure is fun getting all dressed up
in so many soft and pretty fashions, wigs and Hi-Heels and emulating the real ladies.
I like to think that I now have the best of both worlds.

I have been in this program at least 67yrs. now that would put me around 4 yrs. old back then.

As for a roll model I guess that it would've been my mother.

1. It is not easier being a girl. I believe that men and women have different sets of challenges. When I started college, I remember one of my academic advisors told me that if I want to take 12 credits in a semester, I have two choices.
a. I can take four 3-credit classes
b. I can take three 4-credit classes

My advisor told me that taking three 4-credit classes is the easier option. I feel like the differences between being male and female can be summed up in that fashion. Being a woman is like taking four 3-credit classes - there are more things to juggle, but each one is light weight. Being a man is like taking three 4-credit classes - there are fewer things to juggle, but each one is more weight to carry around.

I think that women have more things to worry about than men do, and while most of them are lighter weight than what men have to worry about, there are some heavy weight consequences - namely unwanted pregnancy if you are a cis-gendered woman. On the other hand, men have fewer things to worry about, but there is tremendous pressure put on men to perform, succeed, and financially support the wife and kids.

It's called male privilege and male responsibility. I have no doubt in my mind that male privilege exists in all cultures. I have debated this issue many times on this forum, only to discover that the real debate isn't male privilege. It's whether or not there is male responsibility that comes along with male privilege, and how much responsibility to men have to take to get their male privileges. Male privilege is definitely true. Male responsibility is questionable.

While many men do take responsibility, work very hard, and financially support their wife and kids, there are deadbeat men out there who actually dodge their male responsibilities. Children of single moms who's father walked out on them as a kid, refuses to pay child support or alimony, and the mom had to play both mommy and daddy, will testify that being a woman is MUCH harder than being a man. Children of stay at home mom's will testify that both men and women have different challenges, and that while daddy has male privilege he also takes on a huge responsibility.

Men also have to sign up for the draft in all cultures, and risk dying in war. Women (GG's) do not have to worry about dying in war. War sucks, and is a huge price men pay to be men. We might not think much of war, because we have had no draft since the 1970's, and all of our recent wars have been fought overseas, with minimal casualties compared to earlier wars. But I think had we grown up during World War II or the Civil War, we might be thinking very differently about this question. I think lots of people who suffered through World War II or the Civil War would argue that girls have it easier since they didn't have to fight in the war against their will. War is the biggest curse of being a man, and whether or not you risk dying in war depends on whether or not you are of draft age during a major war where there is a draft - once again something that all of us born after 1955 did not have to worry about, although all of us born after 1955 have had to still sign up for the selective service - it's just that in the USA they haven't used the draft for 40 years.

On the other hand, if you want to fight in a war, it is easier to be a man. Like Paula said, if you want to bear children, you have to be a girl.

Being a girl also requires more time to get ready, more clothing choices, doing hair and makeup, and competition with other females over the body. Men also have an easier time making friends with other men than do women with other women. Women, especially the really pretty girls, may only have one friend, and that is the boyfriend or husband, and that is if he is a companion - many men do not make good companions and are emotionally closed off.

Women have gone from being second class citizens to having double duty. I also believe this double duty is the reason many women feel that we need both equality and chivalry. Equality without chivalry is not equality, and chivalry without equality is not equality.

Walking alone at night, or even during the day, can be dangerous for women. It is freightening to be approached by a man, especially when he starts chasing you for 20 minutes. It just happened to me today, I was walking down the street around my neighborhood today, in broad daylight, and this guy follows me for 20 minutes and sexually harasses me on and off. I finally got away from him. This experience can happen to GG's, to transwomen, and yes, even to CDers out and en femme. So far, my experience with unwanted male attention is in indoor places like the supermarket or Target or the mall, I get little attention, but when walking out on the streets alone I get far more male attention. Today it nearly turned into a disaster.

Even going on a date or being around your own boyfriend or husband can result in rape or sexual assault for a woman. In fact, 80% of rapes are date rapes - committed by a boyfriend or husband. Your own SO can be your own worst enemy if you are a woman.

2. I knew I identified as female since age 5, and I repressed it. I CDed as a way to express the girl within me. Sometimes my perception that girls have it easier was really because, like Paula said, if you wish to be a girl, it is easier to be a girl if you have a girl's body. It is easier for me to be a girl, because I am one, and pretending to be a man was painful and extremely difficult for me - especially in the dating department. I do have some male habits that I will need to unlearn as I transition.

I do give that ciswomen have it FAR easier than transwomen. If you are a transwoman, than GG's do have it easier than us. And keep in mind that transwomen cannot bear children even if we wanted to, and unless you transition really young, everyone one of us had to sign up for the selective service and risk being drafted.

3. There was no female in particular that caused me to believe that women have it easier than men. I never truly believed that women had it easier than men. But I never believed that men had it easier than women. I believed that men and women just had different problems to deal with - and all of us deal with problems because that is part of life.

Finally, I think the ultimate challenge for all of us is having to live inside of boxes, even if we could pick the box, but it's even worse because we don't pick the box, we are assigned a box at birth to live in. I think the world would be a better place if society would let go of the boxes that we have imposed on all of us to live within.

Interesting questions - these are my own personal observations and opinions. They are not necessarily universal truths or even things I find true all the time...

There are things that are easier for women. For people in my generation, growing up in the 50s and 60s, it was usually MUCH easier for a woman to find a casual sex partner than for a guy. We had to struggle, all most of them had to do was ask... Men willingly and happily do things for women that they would only do grudgingly at best for other men. In conversations, men chuckle at things women say that they would challenge loudly if another man had said it. I always thought my father was MUCH tougher and stricter with his sons than with his daughters.

BUT, there are a lot of things that are much easier for men. Just walking down a street near a construction site can be an ordeal for a woman. Being approached by someone asking for money can be a scary experience. Getting paid less than men is no picnic. There is NOTHING a guy can go through that compares to giving birth - if guys had babies, the human race would have died out long ago, because very few men would ever go through something like that twice!

I have no desire to be a woman. But I do enjoy wearing woman's clothes. It started as a sexual thing, but these days, it is just more comfortable. I wish I could wear a skirt and heels to work - as a guy. Maybe that is becoming more acceptable, but again, my generation has a lot of habits to break!

When I have on really nice clothes and walk gracefully in 4" heels (well, I don't actually see myself, so maybe not so much, but it IS my fantasy) I feel very close to my mother. She was a classy lady, and I like to try to look classy.

Deedee

I have too manly of a face to go out in public, but I think differently and enjoy life more as a woman.

1. I am not sure as to who has it easier.

2. My dressing has never had anything to do with the idea that women have it easier. When I started dressing it just seemed something that I was led to do. I thought I could it at home initially and that would be enough, but it was not. Eventually I started going out and spending more and more time presenting as a woman. Now it seems I feel more natural presenting as a woman. Whether I am TS or not is something I need to discuss with a therapist. Also, I believe I have had feminine traits since childhood, which I had repressed for so many years.

3. There has been no specific woman who has influenced me on whether girls have it easier.

!. No I don't think it's easier being a girl. I believe society in this country still treats women sometimes as 2nd class citizens and in some societies worse than that. So the answer is no. I just wish the men in the world would treat women as equals.

2. No, this isn't the reason I started dressing. I still haven't figured out why I started and why I still dress. Maybe I am wired wrong for my gender. I know I enjoy dressing and it makes me happy when I dress.

3. No,as far as I can remember, there was no particular female that influenced me. As I said I don't believe that women have it easier. I do believe women in some situations are superior to men. I believe more women should be in positions of power in this country,as I think this country would be better run than it is. I have the highest respect for women.

#.

way hard, girls got a lot of things to maintain, to do, to beautify, also the actions very very hard.......but oh well we all love it

I am not sure we should use the word easier but different and preferable might be more appropriate. I was not the happiest of young people and I distinctly felt drawn to the idea that so many things would be better if I was a girl. I do not think this was about gender confusion but plain simply that life might be better if .....however the one thing I am sure of is that there is no one size fits all answer to this question.

Hi Tinkerbell. Easier to be a woman? I don't think so. Each gender has to face it's own challenges, and by and large, we do.

My crossdressing was not a conscious choice - as far as I know. It developed in parallel with the rest of me!

Hope you two are doing well!

First, is it easier being a girl? Seen from only one side, it's hard to say.

Each gender seems to have some pluses and minuses. Men have more pressure to "succeed" and more pressure to conform. They have higher suicide rates and higher death rates due to violence. There are many areas where ones role as a "man" is very tightly defined. Men are expected to "provide" and there are strong societal pressures for them to do so.

Women have longer lives, lower death rates by violence and appear to have generally better health. They have better social networks and generally better support from their peers. Women are better accepted in a "mans world" than men are in a "womans world". In some ways women have more choices than men. Women can choose to be different and will not suffer in same manner as men for their differences.

Women are protected, cared for and valued in western society in ways that men are not.

That said, women suffer because men care for them. A woman's ability to choose a path independently is more difficult. She will be protected whether she wants to be or not. In some societies womens choices are entirely taken away.

Is it easier? It looks to be vastly more work to be a woman, but the rewards appear to be larger.

= = =

Is it why I enjoy dressing? Possibly.

= = =

A particular female??? My mom and the treatment of girls generally in school.

Tink, We always need your perspective, and that of other GG's. I think that our responses in part depend on how we see ourselves.

1. Obviously women deal with things that men don't. The whole inequality in the job market, other gender-related biases, dealing with menstrual cycles, female peer pressure, motherhood -- these are things that, unless we have transitioned, we don't experience (well, none of us deal with periods or get pregnant, do we?) Do women have it easier? I don't think so. Having said that, there other sides to this question. If you are growing up as a guy, but with female identity or leanings, that isn't easy, either.

2. I guess the above answers #2. If women don't have it easier, then that is not a reason for me to CD. If I had had my choice, I think I would have been happier had I grown up as girl -- but it certainly would not have been "easier".

3. Did any particular woman influence me? No, I just wanted to do what they did and look like they did. I'm an only kid, and I know that my mother wanted a daughter (in addition to me). I never told her about my gender confusion (I did not what it was at the time) and sometimes i wonder how she would have reacted had I been honest with her. Perhaps she would have been my strongest influence?

No, not in the slightest

Tink, thanks for the question. I'm having trouble with the word "easier." I'm not sure what you mean by it or what anyone would mean by it without a specific example. However, here are my responses:

1) I think that genetic females and genetic males who don't need to crossdress or aren't transsexual don't have to struggle with issues most on this forum deal with. I would say life would be easier for me if I didn't have a 24 hour hour per day awareness of my gender incongruity.

2) What I said in answer 1 is definitely why I crossdress. When I wear feminine clothing, I feel the gap narrows between who I am internally and my physical body.

3) To the best of my knowledge, no female in my life has influenced me to think women have an easier path. In fact, I think women have a much more difficult path in life. I do believe females are superior to males, and I've arrived at that view by observing how men handle conflict versus women.

Yes, I believe it's easier. Girls don't have to shave their faces every day or work on their feminine voice. All this girly stuff seems to come naturally to most girls. I've never heard of a girl getting kicked out of a ladie's room. Gosh, girls can even shop for girl's clothing without anyone thinking they're weird. Tucking is painful! ;)

I think men and women face different types of pressures. I wouldn't call things easier for either, just different. Men are probably still paid better (tho they are mostly aggressive, alpha male types perhaps.) Women get cheated more often by auto repair shops and contractors. If someone breaks into your home at 3:00 a.m. it's the man who goes downstairs with a baseball bat. If your child wakes up screaming at 3:00 a.m. it's usually the woman who reacts while the man snores through it. Men can be brutally cruel to each other, and to women for that matter.

I dress because the look and feel of women's clothes does something to me that nothing else in the world does.

from the perspective of someone who feels uncomfortable and somewhat wrong being male and masculine, and to whom being female seems desirable based on it being pretty much integral at this point to who my ideal self would be for reasons I could never quite grasp, I'd say that for me personally, yes being a girl would be easier.

outside of that, I wouldn't know. depends on the individual I guess. I really hate those kind of "who has it worse" debates, I don't think they're productive at all so it's not something I really think about. I'm not saying I think this thread is one of those, don't get me wrong.

I don't think it's "easier" per se Tink, just more satisfying at times. I started dressing those long years ago because it just "felt right". :)