Moving further along the path, encounter with an endocrinologist
It's been nearly 4-1/2 years since I found the courage to explore this part of myself. Since that time I have passed many milestones. Along the way I've had many welcome supporters like my wonderful wife Mimi, my dear friend Barbara and quite a few individuals on this forum. I've learned a lot and have tried to pass some of that along with my posts. I've grown very comfortable with presenting as a woman, to the point where it feels odd for me to present as a male outside of work.
Mimi has always been my foundation and my advisor. She has always had my back and she seems to know what I'm thinking before I do.
Counseling:
Last year Mimi suggested that I might want seek out counseling, since my gender dysphoria certainly wasn't diminishing. I was dressing more and spending much more time in girl mode. Even in boy mode I was leaking and this wasn't helped by a decision to grow my hair out. I agreed with her and we set out to find a counselor.
We asked TG friends and perused websites to find a counselor who was competent, recommended by a friend, and who was acceptable to my health plan. We finally decided on a lovely lady and I started to meet with her weekly in January.
I had never done counseling before and didn't know what to expect. The process is not much different than chatting with a bartender or hairdresser, except that my counselor was aware of my issues and knew how to gently ask very pertinent questions. She would then sit back and I'd ramble on, but in the process she helped me identify those things that were bothering me. It kind of bothered me that I wasn't really presenting any earth-shaking problems to her since being TG hadn't damaged my marriage or other relationships. To the contrary it has brought me many more friendships than I have in boy world. She said hat a lack of angst didn't concern her at all as it allowed us to concentrate better on the matter at hand.
After two months the counselor broached the subject of HRT. She knew that I wasn't ready to make a decision about it, but she suggested that I get better plugged into my health plan "just in case." Like most males I was rather neglectful of things like getting physicals, etc.
Somehow, engaging the medical machine made the possibility of HRT a lot more real to me. It had always been something I'd considered doing "someday" but suddenly "someday" could be soon. This prompted me to discuss the issue at greater length and to try and make sure that I wasn't just doing a "Me Too!" with my friends who were on the path. It slowly became apparent that this path was the correct one for me. I asked my counselor if we could review the process that led to the decision and she said "The decision has always been made, we just had to figure out what it was." Pretty deep stuff, that!
Physical Exam:
The first doctor visit (for a physical) was a bit scary. It was a new doctor (my old one retired) and I chose a young female internist with about five years in practice. I had decided that I wouldn't hide being TG, so the Jockey shorts stayed in the drawer, the polish remained on my toes, and I wore my normal male/andro weekend clothes. The doctor was busy so I had to get with the program. I screwed up my courage and I said that I had come to her because I was dealing with transgender issues. She said "I kinda figured that out!" in a friendly manner. She ordered normal blood work, spotted a mole on my back that needed the attention of a dermatologist, and told me I was 2 years overdue for a colonoscopy.
Having already paid the price of walking into a doctor's office I brought up the issue of a referral to an endocrinologist so I could discuss hormone therapy. She said "Sure, I can do that!" and typed away at her computer. I gave her the name of the endo that Barbara had been using and with whom she was happy. We chatted for very short time (they keep those doctors moving!) and she said that she had a lot more questions she'd like to ask but it would have to wait. I did get to do a bit of education but I didn't expect her to be really up to speed since mainstream doctors don't see a lot of us.
A few days passed, and the referrals arrive in the mail. Dermo, Gastro, and yes, Endo! Unfortunately the Endo referral was not to the doctor that I wanted. Luckily there is a number that you can call on the letter so I managed to get the doctor changed. I called her office and made an appointment.
In the meantime my blood work came back. Everything was in the good range except one number that was off by a tenth of a point. Darn! The doc says that it is probably just an anomaly and we'll repeat the test in a couple of weeks.
The Endocrinologist:
(Everything from here on took place today!)
So, time went by and the date of my endo appointment arrived. I had planned to see her in andro mode as I had the internist, but as I was changing something drew me to a long skirt. I went with my instinct and dressed fully in a casual skirt, nice T-shirt, and low wedges. Forms in place and makeup on, I headed out!
The endo's office was in the aptly-named Women's Health Center. I walked in about 20 minutes early, checked in, and sat down to wait. I wasn't even given any busywork on a clipboard! After just a couple of minutes the health assistant ushered me in, weighed me (I'm 2 pounds heavier with forms!), took my blood pressure (A bit high, I wonder why!) and left me to wait in the exam room.
The endo came in, a pretty young woman with an East Asian appearance. She got right down to business, asking me what name I preferred to use. We discussed the hormone regimen that she suggests for TG people. We discussed side effects, both good and bad. We talked about the process of titrating the dose up to a reasonable level to minimize the dangers. She was very frank about what would not happen. No instaboobs, no change of voice, and no freebie beard removal. She stopped, looked at me, and said "Your face looks really good, what did you do? I told her several years of facial electrolysis. She said that was the best thing I could have done! Ironically, two of the side effects of HRT were actually good for me, shrinking of the prostate and lowering of blood pressure!
She gave me a very quick physical examination, and said that she was satisfied with my overall health. She needed to get baseline hormone levels and that would determine the dosages we'd discuss at out next meeting in a couple of weeks. She sent me straight down to the lab with a warning that they wouldn't want to draw blood for a T level because it was after 9AM but to tell them that she would accept it.
The phlebotomist did his magic and drew three tubes of blood. He didn't even mention the 9AM restriction so I thought that he had read the note on the lab order and that we were good. He asked me where I got my necklace and earring set as he wanted a similar one one for his wife.
I walked out with a real spring in my step and a breeze fluttering my skirt. It felt great to be presenting as I wanted and to not hide anything from anyone I had met. Everyone treated me great and I didn't see any double-takes even with my male name.
Barbara and her spouse were in the neighborhood and I had some time to kill so we had a nice lunch at Millie's Restaurant. We had a patty melt and a lovely grilled cheese sandwich which we shared. After that I headed home.
So far it has been rainbows and unicorns hasn't it? Well, the day didn't end that way.
Remember my blithely expecting the phlebotomist to carefully follow the doctor's instructions about drawing blood for a T test even though it was after 9AM? Well, I should have checked closer because the guy didn't draw the blood for that test and didn't bother to tell me about it at the time. He left a message on my home phone several hours later. that I would have to come back again. I called the lab and the operator wouldn't let me talk to him directly, instead relaying messages back and forth. The bottom line was that they didn't do as the doctor instructed and so I have to come in at the required time to get another blood draw. That message took me from a high to a low in just a few seconds. Ah well, after all that electrolysis another vein puncture doesn't bother me a bit.
