Some of our members claim no (0%) gender dysphoria while others seem filled to the top (100%). Are you all, nothing, or somewhere in the middle?
Please round your percentage to the nearest tens place. Thanks.
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Some of our members claim no (0%) gender dysphoria while others seem filled to the top (100%). Are you all, nothing, or somewhere in the middle?
Please round your percentage to the nearest tens place. Thanks.
I’d have to say 0%... I know I’m a man, and while I hate everything about myself (topic for another post I guess or maybe another forum altogether lol) I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body. I *wish* I were a woman sometimes, but I know I’m not one... and I don’t honestly think I would be happier becoming one now (not unless they can make me shorter, younger and beautiful lol)
For me it’s society dysphoria. (Not sure that’s a thing) essentially, I know I am a man, and am cool with that. I enjoy many things associated with my maleness. (Glad I don’t deal with some of the female health issues too) My frustration is at society I think. The fact that a man can’t enjoy femininity. Soft things. Being pretty. Allowing my emotions to show though in my expression of myself. So many times I would enjoy wearing a pretty skirt to work, as it would express my state of mind better than pants. Not in a way to “pass” as a woman. But a man who likes creative colors and styles. Wouldn’t mind chatting with female co-workers about a cute out fit I saw.
If that barrier where gone, I think there would be actually less pressure for those like us to “identify”. Just be you. A genetic male who enjoys the broad range of experiences and expressions of life.
No. No gender dysphoria here (although a psychiatrist might disagree). I am thoroughly male in body and orientation, but I love dressing as a woman. That part I do not understand at all. I contemplate what it would be like to not have male appendages, but have female ones, instead. But I doubt very much that I'd ever go that surgical direction even if given the opportunity. I like my male self too much. I guess I, too, am a victim of society dysphoria as is Jessica BF above. I just wish I could, when desired, wave a wand and--poof--my voice and skin would be feminine with no beard. At least until midnight.
I am on HRT for 8 months now! I never hated myself as a man! Lana Mae and Harry are becoming one! Next month I will change my name! Then I will head toward the necessary physical changes that will become me! I will be a tall, older, ugly lady, but I will be a lady! My boss has cleared me as long as I change my name on my nursing licence! Since she is fine with it, I do not care about anyone else! Yeah, maybe 100%! LOL Hugs Lana Mae
As I grew up, I force trained myself to be male in all things, even though the girl lived in my head and heart. I'd say gender dysphoria is near 100%.
I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times that I have felt so strongly about transition I didn't know how I could continue in my Male existence while at other times I'm quite happy as a guy. Based solely on that statement I'm clearly not a candidate for transition but I certainly don't fit the binary model.
What about you Tracy?
50% But growing.
I can relate with everything Jessica, Mary, Jenny, and Elizabeth wrote. I have the dilemna, and conflict with my male self and wanting to be a lady for short periods. Males are stifled, and straightjacketed in many ways. I wish there was a pill that made me a lady for a day or two, then back to guy!!
50% before I figured out I'm not trans. Maybe a CD or female impersonator?:battingeyelashes:
Since then? ZERO!:D
Jessica almost nailed it for me.
I'm a man. I think I'm a man. I'm a man in a man's body. Etc. But at the same time, I like dressing up (in dresses), makeup, lingerie, and so on. I also like to wear women's clothing while doing 'Manly Things" - I had a project to do in my workshop this afternoon and it was jeggings/panties/bra (no top, pretty hot here) ... and taps and dies and drills... Go figure.
As best I can figure out (putting things _very_ _simplistically_), some GG's have at most a passing interested in femininity (as we use it here), plain cotton undies, etc, etc. Others are very into dresses and makeup and hairstyle and so on. So why do those interests have to be confined to GG's? If a GG can be interested in machine tools and fast cars and not be considered a deviant ... why can't a GM be interested in dresses/etc? That's me ... a GM, who likes a lot (but not all) of "manly things" ... and a few "womanly things" too. So yeah, it's society that is "dysphoric", decreeing that these are for men, those for women with no objective basis for it.
That all ignores the question of why I want to "look like" a woman. Doesn't that mean, deep down, I want to be one, and therefore am dysphoric/trans/pick-a-term? I will say no, I do not want to be one. But when I dress, I'm looking more for the style/form/beauty/etc rather than the "underlying human". But even when I'm dressed, I don't have a moment's doubt that I'm a man but I'm not a MIAD because I'm attempting to emulate what society has said people who wear dresses and skirts should look like.
So I guess I'm 0% dysphoric, but about 99.999% feminine-wanna-be (at times). Does that make any sense?
Fran
Tracy, that is an interesting question that is not easy to answer.
Do I have issues with my male self and body? Not at all. I've had a rip roaring good time in it. It has served me really well. I have beat on it, broken it, crashed it, wiped pieces off, had them sewn back on, generally abused it. Still. It just keeps ticking with no issues. My knees are good on no medication for anything still ( i think the next visit to the doctor will change that ).
Does that mean I want to keep it then? Nope. I think about changing it almost everyday. I dream, or day dream about rearranging the plumbing to fit what's in my head almost everyday. I've gone so far as to tell my wife that I will not die with a p&@#s. told her the car on our way to the theatre one night.
So where do I fit on the scale of 0 to 100. Probably a hundred and zero %
Does it help to answer your question? Doubt it but it's the best I can do with honesty.
Cheers
Natasha
Jessica and several others pretty well defined it for me, too.
I'm a man. Always have been and always will be. But I also love being and dressing feminine at times. I believe that any dysphoria I experience comes from society's pressure on how I should dress and behave, not from any internal conflicts in my mind.
I have to have some gender dysphoria. I love my duality. That being said, there are times I have to dress. I would say maybe 30%. I do hate my male body but would love to have real female breasts maybe more.
My dysphoria is so strong that I have basically given my self breasts by sleeping in a tight bra for years.
For me , it averages around 20%, going at times at 0 and as high over periods of time (say over a week) at 70%.
0%, don't want or need anything removed.
My work mate is 100% - tried killing herself, tried drugs, never touches downstairs, will have trouble in the future with jobs etc - not a fun life.
Maybe we should specify percentages? -
50% is wanting real breasts,
65% is wanting to cut off the old fella,
80% the full operation,
90% includes all the above and months of FRS ???
It drifts between 40 and 60%.
Some days I'm OK with being GM - but still a good sized part of me would prefer not to be.
Other days, I ache to be what I wasn't born to be - but not to the point of "change or die."
Add a wonderful, but barely tolerant SO to the mix, and life get interesting!
Great question Tracy. Back in 2012 and 2013 when I came out I was dysphoric almost constantly. But once I found that a gender identity merge reduced the dysphoria I became less and less dysphoric and just accepting who I was - only took 59 years to discover that. Only a moment in geological time.
Now I experience a very mild dysphoria maybe 10% of the time and otherwise none at all. I don't associate my gender with my sex; keep them separate as much as possible. Works for me. Today I start treatment for low grade prostate cancer. My testosterone will be completely blocked by Elegard and that will last for 6 months. It will be fascinating to see how the removal of that from my body will affect my identity. Will dysphoria grow as the hormonal support for masculinity vanishes or will it disappear completely as the feminization of my body and mind kicks in? They tell me I have a 90% to 96% chance of a complete cure which is fine by me. But the bumpy road getting there will be interesting. I will be keeping a detailed journal of both physical and psychological effects of the treatment. It is a grand experiment but too bad I have to be the guinea pig. I will let you all know what happens as it progresses. Ought to be interesting. I have found nothing in the literature about what happens psychologically to a male who is mildly TG during prostate cancer treatment where androgen blockers are used. Effects on cisgender males are documented, but apparently not an a TG male.
Well, I fall into the CD/female impersonator category. It might just be a wonderful escape into role playing.
Buuuuut! According to Rachelakld, I'm 50% because I truly would like to have wonderful natural breasts to keep hidden most of the time.
But then, that's probably more of a fetish thing.
I look at gender as a continuum. At times I do feel mostly male; but the feminine characteristics and mannerisms are always there. I would say 60% to the feminine side; sometimes less, sometimes more.
Tracy,
As it's an evolving process for me it's hard to put a figure on it . In my new home town I live full time so I achieve a balance , at the moment I'm committed to some family acitivities so I'm having to go back and forth , I do find it hard and my dysphoria just goes through the roof .
I don't hate my male body to the point I need surgery but my preference is to appear totally female all the time , I just feel comfortable and natural and importantly accepted as that in the RW .
For me it boils down to which definition.
1) "Gender dysphoria (GD) is the distress a person feels due to their birth-assigned sex and gender not matching their gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria are typically transgender."
2) "Gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender with which he or she identifies."
For (1), yes there is distress, mostly involving my wife and kids, and sometimes going out to new places. So maybe 33%. For (2), it would be zero since I have no problem that I have a man's body with a feminine leaning non-binary gender identity. A year and a half ago it was probably 25% as I was just on the cusp of figuring out my gender identity.
Have to agree with how Jessica (and others) put it. I will add that, I like women. And that includes now and then trying to look like them, feel like them, be like them. Sherrii
If a number must be assigned then I'm definitely nearing 60% with a 65% leaning...Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachelakld
There are days when it's much higher but rarely anytime when it's below 50%.
I suppose it's gotten higher now that I've retired and no longer have all the restrictions on me that were there before. I spend so much more time as a woman that it just keeps getting more and more natural.
Growing my hair out now and in process to remove all body hair permanently.
One day at a time ...
I jump on Jessica’s bandwagon. Even though I’m one of the fortunate ones with a beautiful, supportive wife, it’s our negative, nosy community that frustrates me. I can dress all I want at home, but sometimes the urge to go out is intense. I’ve gone out, but with much trepidation of getting caught and the social and economic consequences that would follow. I’ve been at social gatherings where I wanted so badly to join in on some female conversations. Being a male, I’ll never know many of the female issues, but when it comes to fashion, makeup, etc. I would enjoy chatting. Recently, i saw one of our friends wife wearing a pair of heels, exactly like mine. I would’ve loved to chat with her about how comfortable they were, and how much I enjoy wearing hose, etc. Oh well...
Absolutely love Jessica's term 'society dysphoria'. We need to coin that and send it out into the world.
We are so far from a world of outside acceptance but it is slowly changing. I would imagine for most the removal of that barrier would be a massive weight lifted.
I no longer try to think in binary terms and just try and see the spectrum but I catch myself every once in awhile wanting to be more one than the other. It's a difficult balance
and it changes daily.....
Interesting question for a cross dressing man. Gender identity does not match gender biology. I am way past trying to analyze why I do what I do. It seems I no longer think in male and female. I've lived my life as a male very comfortably. There have been little bumps along the way. When I feel the need to be en femme or emulate a woman it has been escape maleness, not to gravitate toward femaleness. Is there another alternative. Stress relief. I feel very comfortable as my male self. I feel very comfortable with myself emulating a woman. The problems that arise are generated by society which seems to be not on board with cross dressers or suffers of gender dysphoria.
Zero percent
Its interesting to read so many with low percentages, I always assumed that most CD had a level of Transgender feeling about themselves.
I myself probably put myself at about 90%. I know inside I am a woman. I have plans for FFS and BA within the next 12-18 months. I cancelled an appointment for HRT in the last few weeks, but expect to be on HRT by the end of the year at the latest. GCS is a huge and scary step that I want to take, but realistically have not looked into planning it too much yet.
Stephanie, I also find it interesting. But if you asked me ten years ago, I would have replied "I am a CD not TG" and the truth is that I would've been lying to myself as much as I was lying to you.
Gender dysphoria? I have to confess an uncomfortable "yes". I believe gender dysphoria still occupies about 25% but as a child it was closer to 90%.
As a very young child I would hear my mother talk about our births. When my older brother was born she was hoping for a boy. I was her second pregnancy and she prayed and prayed to make it female. When I was born she was very disappointed. But when I was only six months old she found herself pregnant a third time. She was almost afraid to pray for a girl. However the third time was the charm. When my sister was born it was the happiest day of my mother's life. My sister grew up as my mother's pampered little princess. I grew up thinking that if I was a girl my mother would love me more.
As a young boy I believed all boys would have preferred to be girls. When I was three years old I would raid my mom's closet and tell my mom that I was playing "mommy". I thought that wanting to be a girl was normal, and I also thought that all parents preferred daughters because they were nicer, smarter, prettier, and never caused any trouble. Girls got all the attention, all the shiny items to make them pretty, and they were praised simply for their appearances. Of course I had gender dysphoria as a child.
I did identify as a boy, but I saw being a boy as a handicap in life. It wasn't until I was in puberty that I began to believe that their may be some advantages to being a boy. Gender therapists say that 75% of the young boys with gender dysphoria grow out of it by the time they reach adulthood. I believe I am one of those. I will also add that overcoming my gender dysphoria wasn't easy, and I'm still working on it. I still find more things to be admired from females than males. I don't believe I will ever transition. I want to be a loving husband, and a great father to my children. I see them as more important in life than my crossdressing, but crossdressing is a part of my life.
Since you cited the American Psychiatric Association's definition (number 2 above), let us also consider the following, also from that source...Quote:
Originally Posted by Asew
"Gender dysphoria is not the same as gender nonconformity, which refers to behaviors not matching the gender norms or stereotypes of the gender assigned at birth. Examples of gender nonconformity (also referred to as gender expansiveness or gender creativity) include girls behaving and dressing in ways more socially expected of boys or occasional cross-dressing in adult men."
They go on to list several findings, at least two of which must be present for at least six months in order to make the diagnosis of "gender dysphoria":
"In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following:
- A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
- A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
- A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
- A strong desire to be of the other gender
- A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
- A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender"
By that definition, most of what is being discussed in this thread is not gender dysphoria.
0 percent here
I'm entirely with Jessicabf here. Oh sure I've wondered what it'd be like to be a women etc. That's natural.
But I'm fine with being a man who unlike others is willing to indulge his emotions and sensuality. Two things that are trampled out of us males from birth. It's a huge contributor to why us men kill ourselves 3 times as often as women. Think of CDing as a preventative health measure.
So that's a 0 out of 10 for me.
Getting some nice changes through HRT, but still flying under the radar as a boy. If I could figure out how to go all of the way and retain my so-called male privilege in the work place, I would do so in a heartbeat. 50/50 is my forced reality, but 100 percent is where I want to be
Confucius,
You raise one ot two interesting points .
The first is not knowing if other boys had the same feelings , especially as it was more sexual then . How many were slipping on their sister's or mother's clothing items , how normal or abnormal was it ? I wonder if we do totally grow out of it or it lays dormant ? What is the trigger later in life , it certainly explains late onset Cders .
Aunt Kelly ,
Thanks for the dysphoria definitions, I may not tick all the boxes but it's not important , the acceptance that I have dysphoria has made it far easier , I know what I'm dealing with and how to find a balance .
I'm not sure if I totally agree with your last line , sometimes people don't realise or choose to ignore what drives them , living with a gut feeling most of my life I wanted to know , I had to have answers to deal with it .
0% here. It's just clothing and I am me, not matter what I am wearing.
Theresa,
Again, one needn't check all those boxes, but in order to have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, one must suffer from at least two for six months or more. That's an easy thing to grasp, so why do so many here insist that they suffer from GD when they don't meet those straightforward criteria?
There was a time when I thought some level of gender dysphoria would a convenient explanation for my desire to dress. Upon study and reflection I would now say that I'm very low and maybe even 0% dysphoric. I'm generally happy with my male self and even when fully dressed I consider myself male. A gender nonconformist? Certainly. But without dysphoria.
I check off 2 possibly 3 of Aunt Kelly's boxes. I don't seem to have the body dysmorphia/dysphoria that my transitioning sisters have, so I won't be pursuing any of those changes. But I do feel the need for the role, or expression, of the "opposite" gender, and in fact live as much of it as I can in my daily life. I love the clothes, but I'm not just a cd.
Thanks Kelly for those clear definitions. My gender dysphoria includes these three items and were strong enough to create the need to transition. These feelings and needs were almost 100% of the time.:
- A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
- A strong desire to be of the other gender
- A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
Aunt Kelly,
In my case more like sixty years on at least three of them .
Without therapy or counselling anyone can self-diagnose but without a professional assessment it may not carry much credence . Initially labels didn't come easy to me, with counselling they can come thick and fast but they are only labels for their guidance and our help in accepting ourselves .
Me too. With about 30% chance of GD.Quote:
Originally Posted by jessicabf
The problem with that, is that it varies. Some days it's even non existent in my consciousness, on others it may be severe and all I can think about; and it will vary during that day as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy Irving
So let's go for the middle of the road. 50%. How does that help?
Well according to those bulletpoints I don't have gender dysphoria. Although I sometimes wish I had breasts. Funny thing is I like wearing bras, but don't use forms.
Anyway, Jessicabf nailed it for me too, almost too well. I wish I could openly express myself without anyone thinking I'm some kind of psycho. As if wearing a skirt and flats would end the world.
I would say that I have had various degrees of GD at different stages of my life. At times I was way too busy being a father, husband and provider to even pause and think of my gender issues. But recently the urge has lasted for years. I feel strongly drawn to being female including fantasizing about altering my male parts by either SRS or via mutilation both accidental or intentional. I fantasized about being a women and being with men. I often desire to be female and there have been times that I have completely lost it and cried myself to sleep wishing that there was a way to change the reality who I am. I have always not liked who I see in the mirror. At this point in my life I have accepted that there will never be a transition for me. I love someone else more than I love myself and I could not break my promise to her. I have come out to my wife as a crossdresser and she accepts me as that. I love our relationship and that she supports me in my dressing. The CDing will have to be enough.. I would say that my GD ranges from 50% (moderate) to 80+% (raging) But I will make my stand here. I may seek a therapist to help me...??
I think my GD is at or near 0% I jusy feel like dressing as a girl all I possibly can. :hugs:
Angie
I'm just a transvestite with a slight case of AGP. Does that sound like GD? I don't really know.
I had a lot of mixed scripts growing up between parents, siblings, friends etc. Wanted to be female when I was a teen but didn't really feel trapped in the wrong body. My thoughts about it are ever changing so it's best not to think about it!
Looks like AGP to me. Not feeling like being in the wrong body, still intrigued about being a female, not really sure what is going on. You like and respect females SO much you wanna be one----and then in periods of lucidity---"Or do I?"Quote:
Originally Posted by Ressie
0% - I love the clothes from the women's department and love looking down and seeing my toenails painted, but I dress as a man in women's clothes and not as a woman.