Hey,
for a while now i feel like no matter what current trends i try and the sort nothing looks good and im just looking like a dumb burley bloke in a wig with a newish gut popping out, sure i have always been tall. but lately its been very unsatisfying and sad, i even ask myself how i even used to leaved the house dressed like this..:straightface: does anyone else struggle and who has in the past and managed to get over it and get their mojo back,
i sometimes do....we have a mirror of truth in the thrift where i work and sometimes it will get a bad angle of me....just plow ahead....many times one of the customers will bring me back up with a compliment :)
OMG! Yes it happens to me and it really deflates my confidence. Last spring I was out and about feeling really good about myself. I pulled into a shopping center, got out of my car and headed to a store. Well I'm walking along, feeling great. Then all of a sudden I saw my reflection in the window of the store. I could believe how stupid I looked and I became extremely self conscience. I did go in the store and bought a small handbag. I did continue my shopping with a couple of more stops. All the time I was feeling less and less confident about myself.
Yes, all the time!! But the thrill and excitement and how good i feel whilst dressed is far more than the stupid feeling.
However it does come in waves and sometimes i dont dress at all because of this stupid feeling. Other times i push past it and reset my thoughts, you are not alone!
Emily xx
All the time! But how I feel while dressed far outweighs stupid I feel sometimes, so I will continue to dress.
💯 % I?ll stop and look in the mirror and say something like ?WTF are you doing? What are you wearing? Are t you a man? You don?t even look slightly feminine! ? if I get too much in my head I?ll go months without dressing.
Yes, I struggle with this constantly, Emma!:sad:
I can present a realistic, sexy, youthful fem figure and I go out often. But, my homely old man face is completely incongruous and incompatible with my figure!:doh:
I wear a mask to look good in my photos. But, that's usually only for minutes. The rest of the many hours we're out I'm totally embarrassed by my looks!:eek:
Yes! I will look at myself sometimes and see the masculine features of my face and wish I looked more feminine. Then there are times when look back at my pictures and say to myself dam I looked good in that dress. There seems to be ups and downs. But in the end I try to tell myself, its ok and not to let something like those thoughts ruin the days where I do feel confident and am satisfied with my looks.
In my case I need to accept myself and it does take time, but it is hard when everyone is so judgmental.
My advice would be to make sure you take photos so that when you get in those down times you can look back at them and remember how good you felt at that time and that these sad feelings will pass. It has worked for me. I hope you can get your mojo back soon :)
I know I don't pass. However, I don't feel stupid, embarrassed, or ugly. I know I am nothing more than an old man who enjoys wearing all things feminine. When I go out, I try to wear something that looks reasonably nice and will blend. I don't care to stand out or draw attention to myself. I try to keep within my age group by using a minimum amount of makeup. I go light with the makeup I do use so as not to look like a clown. I wear a wig that closely matches my natural hair. If there are times I feel stupid, they would be those times when I haven't shaved for several days and I still apply lipstick in the late evenings. I dislike shaving my face and do so only 2 - 3 times/week. Fortunately, nobody else will see me like that and I still get to enjoy the lipstick.
Yes, sometimes. Less than HALF of my photographs look good enough to share. Photos have to be taken from the right angle, a flattering pose, wearing the right clothing, wig and makeup, and even my facial expression has to be just right. otherwise, I might look ugly, silly or foolish or look like an obvious MIAD. Then again, it is part of the CHALLENGE of photographing myself and producing an image of what I would actually look like if I was a real woman. I am sure I would not pass in the real world, but sometimes I can make Convincing STILL images.
Of course I have felt foolish at times. I have felt ugly, masculine and old. Then I think of other women who may have the same feelings about themselves from time to time. It?s then I remember that I am not the tallest, most masculine or least attractive person. And even if I am, I have a right to be happy and engage with the world.
It's an ongoing battle for me, and perhaps most of us. I tend to compare myself to some unattainable standard, which is not fair but I find myself doing it anyway. However, I get so much psychological benefit from all of this that is keeps me going, and am lifted by a compliment or in improvements I might make to my overall persona.
I am an in-home dresser who ventures forth to the outside world on occasion for a drive and stroll. At six foot and 200 pounds my bod mass is great for a guy, but not so much for a woman. At home I forego the makeup because it takes too long to apply and take off. I stay away from mirrors. It's that simple. If I want to see my image we have a full length mirror that I can see myself from afar as I am cooking at the kitchen stove. I know "the mind's eye" sees what it wants to see and that clouds reality.
Go out in some public crowded space (you don't have to be dressed for that) and look around for women around you. Many of them do not take care of themselves, do not have any style (it applies to men as well). You can give yourself plenty of points for doing your best even if you will not be 100% happy from the result.
Yes, I do struggle with wondering just what the heck I am doing. I know most of it comes from being groomed from a young age that I shouldn’t be wearing a dress, or a wig, or have breasts. The other part is just like every other person, I have a body image that doesn’t look like those women in the catalogs that look just so good wearing the same dress.
When that happens, I was was just going to suggest something like what Monika said. Go out and look at the whole spectrum of people, grocery stores, Walmart, the mall. This is not a post about how I look better than woman, because I don’t. But, I do fit in somewhere in the whole spectrum of how women look in the world, just on the more masculine side of the things.
Don’t beat yourself up. Try to be the woman that you want to be. Use the mirror to help you look better, not to tell you about how bad you look.
I usually don't come off looking the way I hope/wish I would. At the same time, I am often amazed at how different I look when made up and rather like the look. When I look for it, I can always find things I don't like about my appearance, whether fem or drab. Either way, I find a way to enjoy (or at least tolerate) how I look and go with it.
Yes. I sometimes think I am trying to make a silk purse from a sows ear .I keep coming back though. After nearly 50 years its not going away.
I don't feel that I look stupid. Wearing women's clothes just feels natural. I'm not out and about and maybe that's why.
Emma, I often feel that way. But I always feel like I belong in women's clothes. So I dress, because no matter how dissatisfied I am with my look, I love the feeling of wearing women's clothes.
I used to, especially on a bad makeup day. No more. It is what it is. I take the good days with the so called, bad days. I enjoy the comfort, so there are really no struggles, issues, etc.
Oh been there done that.
I used to feel I was too tall (and I love heels besides). Just look around, there are lots of tall women.
I used to struggle with outfits as I always loved what women were currently wearing but the styles did nothing for me. Then I began watching women LIKE me, those that were my age, my height. I studied what worked for them and what didn't. That helped me develop my own style, one that I feel works perfectly for me. That's not to say that I don't slip now and then and buy something "just because", but it's not all the time as it used to be.
Be you, dress for you in what you like to wear, but, but try to be sure it WORKS for YOU.
There are many ways to dress to hide flaws or accentuate pluses.
This the season, to feel depressed. Ho Ho Ho. Sigh.
No, I don't. I know that I don't pass, but I do the best that I can. I am within the normal height of a typical woman at the larger end of the scale, so I don't really "stick out" physically.
GGs are held up to extraordinary standards from the moment that they are born, standards that most can never live up to. Many boys may have aspired to be a pro (American) football quarterback, but very few achieve that.
Since I haven't been a "woman" very long, I have not been groomed to be the perfect woman. I am what I am, and I can be proud of that
Usually I'm pretty comfortable wearing what I do (which is far less than what most on here do) to the point of not caring if the neighbors see me (leggings or yoga shorts quite often, sometimes a skirt, often a girly tank or cami) or even the general public (e.g. leggings last nite at a truck stop, and not solid black ones either!)
But every once in a while I see myself in the mirror and think "You look like at idiot. Why do you do this?" Fortunately I don't get that feeling very often.
I kind of got hit with it when I did my tradional Christmas tree pics, I thought I looked great in the red dress I choose but when I seen the pic boy was I wrong. Sometimes I take pics of myself and look ok and then more then none I look like a man in a dress. After all we have male bodies I try my best but I have come to realization years ago that I could never pass.
This is something I struggle with as well, so thank you for sharing. At 6?5? and 225 l s, I know I don?t have close to the average women?s body. What does surprise me is while I do look at myself and ask what am I doing, there are many times when I look and say WOW you do look good. That is why I continue to enjoy my feminine time!!
Unlike many/most here, I'm totally a dude who likes a more feminine presentation. I've got a long gray ponytail and gray beard. in my "normal" presentation I tend to look like an old hippy or maybe even a biker from a distance. My preferred presentation looks more bohemian with a strong feminine vibe. Those of you who go full femme with wig and forms can be somewhat incognito. I cannot. Even if someone figures out that you're not a GG, it's likely that they will not recognize your identity. I lose that advantage by being a dude in women's clothes.
I look in the mirror or at my photos and I like what I see, even if I know that it would likely be misunderstood to the general public. I see a man in the mirror. I like seeing that man. I don't feel any sense of being ridiculous or stupid. I do feel a sense that I need to hide that person to protect him.
I have a fair sized women's wardrobe that I've acquired over the years and I'll occasionally try on an outfit that doesn't represent me properly, but I chalk that up to learning what I like. And, I might try the same outfit sometime later and see that it's exactly the look I'm going for. The thing I like most about the woman's side of the aisle is the variety of totally different styles to choose from.
Yes XemmaX I do have those feelings constantly. I enjoy the emotional feelings and physical sensations of dressing - all comes crashing down when I look in a mirror, so avoid as best I can, or at least look from the neck down.
My imagined self never matches what I see in the mirror unfortunately.
I did a photo shoot last week with a tripod and DSLR, even a small video - every image looked like an old man in a dress to me.
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The video was the worse, big shoulders, big face, not standing very straight as I walked up the hill.
Decided, the fact that internally I felt really good, over rides what the rest of the world sees :)
I may not look as beautiful as I want to be, but I love my clothes and I deserve them.
I try to reconcile myself to the fact that I certainly don't come close to the image in my mind, I probably blend with as least some percentage of genetic women out there.
Of the clothing I tend to select for myself, I often look like a MIAD, or leggings, or shorts, or skirt when I look in the mirror. The worst was when, years ago, someone suggested a bustier was a good idea. Not for me it wasn't! I really did look ridiculous in that. These days, the mirror gets a cursory look when I make sure the wig is brushed & laying right, forms are in the right place and then I forget the mirror and just enjoy the time dressed.
Like Michaela said - there are some clothing styles that just aren't for me and I think I look stupid wearing them. Most of the clothes I own look good on me (even if I do not pass).
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You look good in that dress. Now get the confidence to wear that outfit and other dresses as you go about your business publicly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachelakld
Guess what? I have a huge head so it's not easy for.me to find hats to fit me. And I don't exactly have a feminine voice as I can sing down to C2 (2 ledger lines below the bass staff).
John
I'm lucky in being a reasonable height - average for a man and just a bit tall for a woman - and weight (74kg) but my interest is entirely in wearing the clothes and I don't bother to look in the mirror (other than to check a rear view - stocking seams, slip not showing, etc). I don't go out and nobody else sees me. I don't do make-up or wig, so seeing myself in a mirror would be a distinct turn-off! That doesn't stop me from achieving my objective of experiencing - feeling - what it's like to wear skirts, dresses, shoes, underwear, etc. I still enjoy seeing myself directly (not in a mirror) and looking at the clothes I'm wearing while at the same time feeling what it's like to be inside those clothes. One big advantage for me is that I can choose any dress style, suited to any age or activity and because I don't see my face or hair, there's no need to worry that my head's too big or my hair's the wrong style or my make-up isn't right. It's just the clothes.
Same here but taller and heavier.
ah ok wow really interesting hearing all the stories from everyone, i guess its just how you approach it. its my 190cm height that makes me feel sooooo self conscious and also my new gut thats appeared in the last year hey 40 is not long off now.
Yes, but I also sometimes feel like this when I'm not dressed.
I'm these days considering permanent changes to the face in the mirror.
I don't have the greatest self-image in either gender presentation
I think we all go through this at one time or another. I?m lucky that I have a slight build, 5ft6, 145-150. I just try to go with the flow. I went out during the Christmas season to a huge mall. I’m always trying to look discreetly to see if others are giving me second looks, laughing, etc. I can honestly say I did not feel that at all. I tried on clothes with no problem. Now will I ever run into a situation where I get the “look” or a negative comment? Probably. But I’ve become more comfortable in my female presentation so if it happens, oh well.
Welcome to what every woman goes through. That's why it takes them 10X the time that it takes for men to get dressed to go out of the house. Now you're just feeling 'more like a real woman' does!Quote:
Originally Posted by XemmaX
I have mostly overcome worries about looking stupid while dressed in public. My wife often tells me that I look stupid so I am accustomed to it. With the exception of one ring on one finger twenty years ago, she has never seen me en femme, even minutely partially. Had I not admitted crossdressing to her, she would probably still not know. But I do worry that I am stupid for crossdressing. That worry is more difficult to overcome.
Sometimes I buy pretty stuff that I haven't a clue as to where I might be able to wear them!
Definitely. I hate the way I look as a man, AND question myself when dressed. Basically low self esteem across the board LOL
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So true! Something is even affirming about this in a weird way.Quote:
Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
Hi Emma :hugs:, Have you ever noticed that GG's come in all shapes & Sizes, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**
Go out in the real world!! Observe women, note the normal tells, large hands or feet, height, weight, etc. I work with a lady whose hands are as large as mine and even more rough and wrinkled! Another who, is taller and heavier! There are all sizes and heights and weights and shapes of women! Be yourself!
Hugs Lana Mae
Well said! I feel the same way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kris Burton
I hate my belly, posture, and teeth -- yet those things are all fixable! So I'm a work in progress.
Oh yeah.
I'm pretty hard on myself in general...