I told my wife ... it did NOT go well

It's late here (23:30), think I actually broke the news at 23:00, it's all kind of a blur.

I think I probably went against every piece of advice that I was given :(

From what I can remember my wife made a comment that, with all the shaving of legs etc I was probably a transvestite, at which point I said I was, I just thought it was an opportunity and a point at which I couldn't lie.

She reacted very badly and has asked me to get out of the house until she can get her head round this.

She has said that she wants to be married to a man and not half and half.

She cried for at least 5 minutes :(

I haven't been able to cry, I seem to feel detached as if this isn't happening (how else would I be able to type this now).

She has said she has no-one to tell about this and may have to talk to her mum; I said that it is up to her who she tells.

She has said that she doesn't want our son to know or to see me dressed up (he is only 3 at the moment). I said that that was fine.

She has talked about me breaking her heart by telling her this and asked why I never said anything before.

Life has suddenly gone horribly wrong

that sounds like the conversation i had with my G/f some many years ago she was heartborken and said she couldnt go on, we have split previously through this not so long back, last week but now it is going well again, she needs time and plenty of it to think, it is a big change for her to accept, yeah the bombshell you dropped ?? well how else sometimes can you fit it into the conversation,
were in the uk are you if you dont mind me asking, I am in Notts its 23:48

Dont give up hope, there are plenty of ppl on the forum who are in the same situation so you are in the best place for advice, let her cool off and then try again in the morning, I have a two year old and one on the way as well so i know how difficult it is, theres allsorts of questions she will throw at you now, just be prepared and tell her what your intentions are if you know, I didnt when I first told my G/f she is cool now, we go shopping and everything together, beleive me this can have a happy ending

good luck Fiona

love Linda xxxx

I went threw the same thing . i had very bad results I ended up getting devorced. I hope things work out better for you..

Hi Fiona

Now you have to deal with all the fall out.
You know it's going to take a lot of hard work time and patience to slove this.
I guess you know most of it having been here a while.
Remember have the information ready for when she asks all the questions.
Go at the pace she wants to go at. But most of all be honest as if she suspects another secret then it could get worse.

Take Care
I hope you can both get through this situation.

Fiona -- I told my wife after nearly 25 years of marriage. That was over six years ago. It didn't go well. I wasn't too prepared. I just blurted it out. After a couple of days, she calmed down and we talked. We still love each other, but she has never seen me dressed. Yet she does, in some small ways, allow Sherrie to exist. Just take it slowly. Don't push. And, this is very important, keep telling your wife how much you love her and that it was because of your love for her that you didn't tell her sooner -- that you were afraid to lose her (which I was). Take care and keep in touch.

When I first told my wife, she did not react well either. She told her mum, her sister & husband, her sister-in-law and MY mum.
She was ok with it for a while when we had spent hours and hours talking, but although we are no longer together, it does not mean every couple ends up the same.
Your partner has actually said she needs to get her head around this fact. If I were you I'd take that as a good sign that maybe things will work out between you.

Fionasboots
Hi Im sorry things have worked out as bad for you, I would suggest you and your good lady sleep on it and give her time to digest the bomb shell you have just drop in her lap.then try to make amends tomorrow.
best of luck
Love as always
Spoonie

Thank you all for the kind and supportive words.

I certainly hope that this will have a happy outcome but, obviously at the moment things don't look too good.

The last thing my wife said to me was that she didn't like liars. I think this was something I expected from what has been said to me before about coming out.

She is absolutely right, I have lied to her and hidden things from her I did try and say that I had wanted to tell her and that I was confused about this for a long time.

I asked her what she was imagining and she said "you prancing around in my clothes" so I told her that I had my own, I'm not sure whether this made her feel better or worse. She did ask where they were (I told her - in the loft) but wasn't specific about location.

She also asked what clothes I had but I refused to answer that since I didn't think it would actually help much at all at the moment.

Sorry to hear that your partner is being clueless. You have my support. Your posts here have been polite and constructive, it's a durn shame that you find yourself in this fix. Do not blame yourself. I think it's clear that you're doing everything you can.

Julie aka Doug

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by fionasboots

It's late here (23:30), think I actually broke the news at 23:00, it's all kind of a blur.

I think I probably went against every piece of advice that I was given :(

From what I can remember my wife made a comment that, with all the shaving of legs etc I was probably a transvestite, at which point I said I was, I just thought it was an opportunity and a point at which I couldn't lie.

She reacted very badly and has asked me to get out of the house until she can get her head round this.

She has said that she wants to be married to a man and not half and half.

She cried for at least 5 minutes :(

I haven't been able to cry, I seem to feel detached as if this isn't happening (how else would I be able to type this now).

She has said she has no-one to tell about this and may have to talk to her mum; I said that it is up to her who she tells.

She has said that she doesn't want our son to know or to see me dressed up (he is only 3 at the moment). I said that that was fine.

She has talked about me breaking her heart by telling her this and asked why I never said anything before.

Life has suddenly gone horribly wrong

---

If nothing else invite her to the boards and let talk to other GG's here who have so's that CD and let them help they have a lot of advice and understand what she is going thru it is out there now nothing you can do but be supportive of her and ride out the storm. I wish you the best of luck. I will pray for you and your wife.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Julie Avery

Sorry to hear that your partner is being clueless. You have my support. Your posts here have been polite and constructive, it's a durn shame that you find yourself in this fix.

Julie aka Doug

---

I have to leap to my wife's defense here; she isn't being clueless at all she is just having a great deal of difficulty taking this in.

For 5 years she thinks she has been married to a normal, manly guy and now she finds that she didn't really know the person she married.

I would concede that other people may have an easier time with dealing with this sort of news simply because they have a greater degree of experience in life, e.g. may have come across CDers before, had friends who are CDers, or even just living in a big city when you either encounter more diverse people or at the very least read about them.

I don't think my wife's life in general has included experiences that can help her cope with this sort of bombshell, I'm pretty much out of my depth here as well and would be completely drowning if it wasn't for what I have read on this forum and the support the people here have shown me :love:

So "clueless" is rather harsh, "helpless" may be a more appropriate word. And yes, it is a shame that I'm in this situation but it's more of a shame that my wife is having to deal with it without the same help I've got.

And no, sadly I don't think this forum can help her (yet), since she isn't really up to speed with using the internet for this sort of thing and, while I certainly won't stop her looking for information I think sending her straight here may lead to information overload and possibly her seeing things that make her worry even more.

I have found some sites that may be of use but I'll have to see how it goes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NewbieCD

If nothing else invite her to the boards and let talk to other GG's here who have so's that CD and let them help they have a lot of advice and understand what she is going thru it is out there now nothing you can do but be supportive of her and ride out the storm. I wish you the best of luck. I will pray for you and your wife.

---

Thank you for those kind words, but please, don't bother praying for me, it's my wife that needs to help now, not me.

As for directing her here, see my previous post on the thread (just sent it a few mins ago), it would be nice if she could get support here but I think that will be a long time off.

I feel sorry for you and for your wife. That sitution is never pretty.

I always try to advocate the truth from the beginning for this very reason. My GF knew I dressed from the start, within 24 of meeting me she saw me dressed. Because we started like this, its been no big deal.

If this can be of any use to anyone, the lesson is to come out to begin with. I don't think any of the GGs will fault me for saying that honesty is not a bad way to begin a real relationship. Whatever the pain is up front in rejection, it only compounds as time goes by. Being rejected for someone you meet over coffee is a bitch. Being rejected by someone you have built a life with will rip your heart out, drag your soul through shards of glass, and put concertina wire around your other emotions. Belive me, that's a hard way to go.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fionasboots

For 5 years she thinks she has been married to a normal, manly guy and now she finds that she didn't really know the person she married.

---

I think your best bet is to remain the 'normal, manly guy' she knows - that is, keep your everyday behavior consistent (while allowing the dialogue to continue), that way perhaps she'll realize her world hasn't imploded, it just got richer.

Hi Fiona,

When I came out to my wife there was lots of crying on both sides. Things have worked out very good since though. I hope she can find a way to deal with this. She probably just needs some space for now. My thoughts are with you and I wish you the best,

I guess it all boils down to, BEING HONEST at the onset, either that or stay in the closet and get stressed out :( you either care enought for your wife/ GF to do as she want's, ie give up CDing :( or let her go cause it will surface time and time again and you will never be happy. either of you. Everyone has their own idea of what to do but when the time does come, DO WE ? just play it by ear and hope for the best, BEST OF LUCK.

Fiona, I am at a loss for words. I can only hope and pray that the strength of the lpve between the two of you will eventually prevail. Unlike at the beginning of your disclosure to her, I hope you will heed the advice to be prepared to talk to her openly, honestly, and at her pace and when she is ready. you've been dealing with this for some time now... it's all new to her.

I understand how guilty you must feel. It's never easy. But the cat is out of the bag now. And let's be honest, there must be a part that feels relief. It's just going to be difficult to predict the outcome here, especially if she has been socialized in a very traditional way.

Furthermore, remember that she is going to worry about what her family and friends might think if they find out. Allowing you to dress is one thing. Coming out to all will complicate her life. So that is a point to consider.

My best wishes

I feel for you, Fiona. I'm in a similar situation. I told my wife about it after being married for five years. She was extremely upset. We stayed together for another five years, mostly by me shutting down my CD impulses... but in the end, that was not a viable solution. As of a month ago, she and I have seperated.

I think the most important thing you can do is continue being yourself, reassure her that you still love her and keep the lines of communication open. And above all, honesty from here on out.

And know that a lot of us here sympathize with both you, and your wife.

She also asked what clothes I had but I refused to answer that since I didn't think it would actually help much at all at the moment.[/QUOTE]


Hello,
When my husband came out to me, I wanted to know everything. All of the questions I asked, no matter how hard, he answered. I think that for somepeople it helps to know everything, and then digest it..that's how I liked it. I just wanted to let you know that everyone is different however, I know you want to protect her and I can tell you love her dearly. Comming from a GG who totally freaked out when I first found out, she may just need time and answers. Give her both of them and what is supposed to happen, will happen. Good luck, and please tell her she is not alone, Someone in Minnesota USA has fealt the same exact way. :hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NighttimeGirl

beleive me this can have a happy ending

good luck Fiona

love Linda xxxx

---

She's right. My coming out was as traumatic , thought it was the end of the world when my wife equally freaked (as expected, and quite normal), and she was certianly not "clueless either, highly intelligent and highly educated (except about transvestites, but so was I at the time).

The initial outing, as bad (or in some cases as good) as it may seem, is not a reliable indicator of what the future may hold. Be honest with "yourself" AND your wife now. If true love existed between you -as your previous replies indicate- a happy ending will be the probability.

PS Don't bring your wife to the forum right away, if at all, I agree with your assesment, your on the right track for your situation there. Hope in the long run it works out for you as well as it did for me.

Fiona,

I am so sorry about the way this went for you; you must be crushed. If it is any consolation, I think you were right to tell her the truth when she asked you outright. Any more evasive answers would have only made things worse in the long run.

Please try to understand that a lot of women DO freak out and cry when they first learn about their partners' dressing, and that doesn't mean they will never accept it. It may just be shock, coupled with a lack of understanding about exactly what a crossdresser is. Ten years ago, when my first CD boyfriend (not Angel) told me that he liked to wear women's clothes, my reaction was not that different from your wife's. I cried, felt sick, and wouldn't let him touch me for several days. I am not proud of the way I handled it, but I remember feeling completely overwhelmed and needing time to deal with my feelings before we could even talk about it. But after talking it over with him and educating myself, I realised it was no big deal. It wasn't long before I even started enjoying it and wanting to participate.

Your wife probably has a lot of scary assumptions whirling around in her brain right now, and I hope that she will give you a chance to address her fears and reassure her that you are the same person you always were. It is obvious that you love her and care very much about her feelings, so I have faith that the two of you will work things out. All is not lost; just give her time to get over the shock, and answer her questions as honestly and lovingly as you can.

Sending lots of good vibes your way....

Hugs,
Marla xx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fionasboots

I think I probably went against every piece of advice that I was given :(

---

It's easy for us to sit here and dish out advice from the relative safety of our keyboards, while you are on the frontlines, dealing with the drama and the tension, and all the emotions.

It might not hurt to apologize for having just blurted it all out they way you did. That might help to show her that you do care about her feelings, and that you realize it was a bit too much to expect her to handle very well immediately. It might be the truth if you pointed out that you had never told anyone about this before, and you are learning by making mistakes. And, while she is nowhere near ready to be able to appreciate the fact, as hard as it is for her to deal with this surprise, it has been just as hard for you to keep it from her, no?

I wish you well. :hugs:

[SIZE=3]Hiya Fiona.

I have read your posts and I think you have responded well so far in regard to your Wife's reactions.

Giver her time to digest matters and answer all her questions honestly in a tackful manner. Most importantly, just be your normal self that she has always known ok?

Think of it this way - the worst is over - no more hidden secrets! I'm sure this revelation will all work out in the long term, but expect some short term difficult periods.

Luv to ya Fiona.[/SIZE]

I'm so sorry too hear this
But I hope that the two of you can work through this
For a happy ending

please hang in there..

i lost my marraige, but it seems to run 50-50 and the initial reaction is not an indication of anything...

in fact, my soontobe exwife...seemed to be starting to get her head around it and at one point "forgave" me....but in the end she just didnt want to deal with it

so you take care of her but also take care of yourself..

michele

Fionasboots

As someone who has a good relationship with my wife over my CDing, I can say that it does happen (we are coming to our first anniversary soon).

My heart goes out to you, you have breached the barrier of silence and suspicion and now trust needs to be rebuilt.

The best of luck and best wishes.

Love Simone

:( So sorry to hear how it all went. Perhaps you could suggest you both go to counceling? It would show that your willing to work with her as well as provide her with insite to cd'ing. Once again, sorry to hear this didn't go well.

Some comments I have dealt with from the SO.

"Why can't you just be a man ?"

"I can't handle this !"

"I don't want to see you like that !"

"What are others going to say !"

So there has never been the lying issue because we both kept things from each other, but only not to hurt one an other. We have been honest about our love but sometimes the truth is not what she wanted to hear.

So do you think she has been totally honest to you ? Not that I want to know I just think it's human nature to be that way. I do feel for you both and I hope a happy out come is soon forth coming. Go into the archives and read up on the subject there is much good advice there. Relationships require daily maintenance and that is key to a lasting one. Take care and give her a big hug from all of us.:hugs:

When I date a woman & I feel there is a future together, I usually tell her within the 1st 3 months...... I just say something like its just a piece of cloth & i like it & its harmless compared to being addicted to:

drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn.... if she cant handle it, then I tell her 3 words

theres the door! :thumbsup:

Sorry to hear this but you now have to give her the time she needs to "get her head round it" as she has said. She will have loads of answers which will need honest replies, she could also benefit a lot if she joined here and chatted with the rest of the GGs here, after all we have all been in the same boat. You've got a hard time ahead of you both and I hope you can both work it out.

Just hang in there, I only found out recently and it is a huge thing to take on board.I couple of weeks of tears and now I want to know as much as I can so we can keep moving forward.
At first I thought it would tear us apart but to my surprise we are probably closer than we have been for a long time.
Good luck will be thinking of you both.

Okay, only a quick post to update everyone, again I must say many, many, many heartfelt thanks for all the advice, help, support, care, etc

Things were pretty bad first thing this morning and my wife was all for walking out or kicking me out. My son (nearly 3) was being unbelievably cute and kept giving us both kisses since he knew we were both sad - he's fantastic :love:

Anyway, my wife suddenly changed tack and asked "Have you got any high heels?" and then giggled. I admitted I had and said they were hard to walk in! I also then went on to tell her about me trying to walk in heels in Liverpool (in drab) which seemed to take okay.

I've emphasised that I haven't used any of her clothes of make-up, she seemed happier about this but was a bit squeemish when I said I had a little bag with lipstick, so I stopped at that point.

I also told her what dress size I was and she said "Oh I've got a dress that might fit you!", she said this with a grin so it obviously wasn't meant as a dig at me.

She also made a comment about ear-rings and I said I couldn't find clip-on ones (where on earth do you get these) and then she said she knew how to get them!

She has now said that we will drive down together to drop off our son with her mother and then she will come back home as she had planned.

This is millions and trillions of times better than the state we were in last night so I feel much, much, much happier :D

I am flying out to India for 2 weeks on Thursday so that gives my wife and I 4 days here without our son which may be good talking time.

She has stated that she doesn't want our son to see me dressed, I agreed completely and said I didn't want that to happen either. I have said that I will answer questions about CDing if he ever asks but will NOT tell him what I do, just my opinion. I have said this about other aspects of our live where my wife and I hold different views.

She also said she didn't want to see me dressed as well, which I also agreed to as that only seems fair.

The whole thing with shaving is still a bit hit and miss though, I did say last night (before dropping this bombshell) that I promised faithfully to let them grow back in Winter. Now my wife is saying she doesn't like them at all and I offered to let them grow back now if it would help cope.

I think this (and a whole load of other stuff) is something we will have to work on - the shaving could be a problem as I genuinely do like it better now (so much more comfortable) but she may be more anti now which is understandable.

As for the suggestions of getting her online. I will persue that approach and see if she can just look at the GG forum, I think it is way, way, way too early to let her know my persona on here as that will lead immediately to my avatar picture and all the yahoo stuff, she is NOT ready for that at all!

Thanks again all :love:

Hi Feona my wife handledthe news very well but hade all the fears of geting this news but we eased in to it over some time I tell and show her constantlythat I love her some your wife needto know now and in thefuture.
Angie .G

Hi Fiona,

I have read all the posts and am glad that it seems a bit better for both you and your wife at present .

I think that you should try to assure your wife that you love her very much and just try to take things very easy and slowly for the moment .

When the subject of c/d raises its head try to keep it light hearted and not too intense .

I myself think that it it better to treat it as something that you find relaxing and pleasurable ,rather than to delve into all the sexual feelings that you may have .

At the final count only the 2 of you can sort this out ,so just be calm and let her know that you are still the same kind and loving husband that you have always been and lets hope it all works out ok for you and your family .

Thinking of you both ,

''Nishababe'':thumbsup:

Hello Fiona,

If there is true love in your marriage it will out shine these problems that you are having. At times I had questioned if that true love was in my marriage. When I told my wife she cryed for days and had dreams that would wake her up in the night. After talking it all thru she is now pretty much accepting. I find it easier to talk to her about almost anything. There are time when I am stil a bit apprehensive. But overall our marriage is better now than it ever was.

So keep the faith that the love will help you thru this. You wife may have a very hard time dealing with this, and there will probably be some compromises that you both will have to make. My wife has no desire to see me in a dress. She can deal with the lingerie, but no more at this point. A simple compromise for me. There is still time that I can wear my dresses. I just tell my wife to be sure to call before she comes home.

I am hoping and praying for your life to work out as good as mine.

Raychel

Good to see Fiona, that your taking a step back and putting your wifes fears and concerns first. Its early days and allsorts of feelings and emotions will rear their ugly head, but you sound level headed and considerate enough to cope with them. Wishing you all the luck in the world and praying for both of you at this very difficult time.
Love BEVxxxxx

[SIZE="3"]Going through the same things myself now

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=34731

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ad.php?t=36222

If you would like to chat my Yahoo IM is KristenKelly77
I am not an expert, but going through many of the same thing you posted. The biggert thing go at HER speed and continue to comunicate, when she is ready provide as much information as she wants, books articles, etc. Best of luck and don't give up, remember, you are the reason she married you, Fiona and your male halfs contrubitute to who you are.[/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"]I know where you're coming from, Fiona. When I told my wife she was surprised. Now we share skirts and tops.

Let things simmer down until she's had time to think this over. It's a lot to digest but I trust she will want to know some things about Fiona. I hope things work out for you both.

Gennee[/SIZE]

I do feel sorry for all my sisters who have or are going through hell with your wife. It's been over 6 years now since my wife found my cloths and I had to tell her only I used the word Crossdresser. Anyway I now dress about 95% of the time my wife treats me no diferent what every way I'm dressed. Now I will admit she is fussy about how I dress, her saying is " if your going to do it do it properly". Now what she means is no teenage dressing or dressing like a tart, dress like a lady your age. Been a long long road but I am happy and she doesn't seem to mine, well every now and again she will ask if I would be her husband today, which in short mean she doesn't want me to dress that day. I can live with that.:hugs:

I have found that my wife is ok with having a crossdressing husband (sometimes) sometimes no. It seems to depend on her mood on any given day. Also the time of the month seems to make a differance as to her level of acceptance. sorry gg's but it is true. that time has a lot to do with her mood too. so go slow and if one day she hates it maybe the next she will be fine. so go with the flow. I wish you both the best. good luck hun.

I "came out" to my wife about six years ago- at least in conversation. It did not go well either. We both cried a lot, stopped talking to each other, and walked on egg shells all the time. Tension in our house was as thick as fog. I moved out and lived alone twice during the ensueing period. We both ended up on anti-depressants. I sought counselling alone, my wife sought counselling alone, and eventually we went to counselling together. I was certain it was all going to end in divorce court (or worse). It has been a long hard battle. Even after she accepted the fact emotionally, it still came as a shock to her when she saw me fully dressed and made up the first time (about six months ago). She told me that had she passed me on the street, she would not have recognized me. While this bodes well for my Lynnette persona- if she wouldn't recognized me, then it's unlikely that my other friends and aquaintances would either- it really shook her up badly. We had to regroup a bit. I let her watch while I made the complete transformation. We are still dealing with some discomfort but continue to make progress. We truely do love each other and, while this has been a very serious wrinkle in our relationship, it is that mutual love that "endures all and forgives all" that has enabled us to persevere. Buckle your seat belt, maintain your love, seek professional help together, and stay the course. If the love between you and your wife remains strong it can and will sustain you through this difficult time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mistress Frillee

When I date a woman & I feel there is a future together, I usually tell her within the 1st 3 months...... I just say something like its just a piece of cloth & i like it & its harmless compared to being addicted to:

drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn.... if she cant handle it, then I tell her 3 words

theres the door! :thumbsup:

---

I like your tact. Brilliant idea!

Fiona,
So Sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm sure it's very painful and scarey. But I think you did the right thing and the best thing. Hiding this from the person you are to be most intimate with does not foster the trust and mutual respect needed in a marriage Turn to those who support you, like here.
Kew

"It's easy for us to sit here and dish out advice from the relative safety of our keyboards"

It seems to me that most of the people who post advice on any of these "relationship" threads are not doing it from any safe place at all. They have been there, and its not some casual deal, but from thier heart the voice of experience. For many, I'm sure it hurts to go back and dig in all that dirt again, but they do it so that others might not feel the pain they had to go through. Just a thought.

Getting to thread thread late....but day two sounds to have a bit of a huge difference than day one.

I think what every person has to realize is that YOU {the tg person} has had years and years to sort through their own inner questions and insecurities and fears and all that. I mean we read posts here every day about people being depressed/having anxiety and overall really having tough times coming to terms with who they are.


Just keep talking, learn right now to start being honest. Please dont' think that by suger coating any other truths about this that is it better.

I think it is great that she is already laying down some of her feelings. Both of you are entitled to share your worries/concerns/dislikes and hopes for the future.

The hard part will be trusting you again, but dont' give her reason to doubt you and begin to know all of you. Hopefully she will have patience and let time heal her wounds.

Best of luck

Fiona,

Glad to hear things are getting better today.

All I will say is that like any part of a successful relationship it will involve compromise, and honest communication, between you.

I will and my prayers for your wife son and for you. :thumbsup:

Susan

Hi Fiona

Delighted that things are getting better. I know there may still be a few hurldes to overcome. A word of caution don't promise anything you cant keep to. Just can say you will try your best.
Remember just take things a her pace.

best wishes

I came out to my GF about six months ago, after we had been together for about year. It did not go well and I did not do a very good job of presenting my Cd'ing to her. She did the freak and wanted nothing to do with me. We still stayed in touch with each other and now six months later we are a couple again. She knows about my dressing but has no desire to see me dressed. I am OK with that, as long as she knows and can accept me for what I am I am happy. Would I like her to be more supportive, of course I would.

I do not push the issue at all and keep it as low key as I can. For me it works as I like this lady a lot. As long as she knows about me and can deal with me I am happy. You may be different and need more support / understanding from a mate than I do.

The point is that she may come around to some level of understanding. It may not be the level of your dreams, but it may be a level that you are comfortable with.

Give her time and take it slow, it may work out. At least I hope it does.

That's good things are going a bit better now. Remember too there are books that can really help. When I first found out, I didn't really know there was such a thing as a crossdresser, so I felt a bit weird about it, but once I started learning more about it(reading/online stuff/talking with Tgirl74), I realized that there were many more people who were CDs, and it became more "normal" seeming to me, you know? So perhaps if you put some emphasis that there are many people who CD, that there are books to help girlfriends/wives out there, perhaps she'll take solice in that. Anyway, I think that's great you were open and honest with her, regardless of what happens you should always be yourself :)