Even though I am new to this forum I can tell I am blessed with an accepting wife. She ain't thrilled about it, but she still loves me. Her question is how many other cd's are married and what is the level of acceptance from their wives.
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Even though I am new to this forum I can tell I am blessed with an accepting wife. She ain't thrilled about it, but she still loves me. Her question is how many other cd's are married and what is the level of acceptance from their wives.
Quick answer to pass on to your wife....married for 24 years, wife is accepting of my wearing panties/hose around her in bedroom on special occasions but doesn't really like discussing it or knowing any details. I forgot this a few months back, told her about buying Capri outfit when she out of town one weekend, was met by stony silence. All in all though, can't complain as I wasn't a CDer when we married. That started two years into marriage.
Well, in some states, I would be considered common-law married. I've lived with my SO for some 15 years (barring 2-3 years somewhere in the middle..).
As for her level of acceptance... She hasn't really said one way or another. I told her of my desires before we got together last. Even went to dinner on Halloween, me en femme (not very convincingly, but it 'was' Halloween.. hehe). Knowing of my secret, we still ended up getting back together a few weeks later, but I refrained from dressing in front of her. Now, however, I'm able to do my nails in front of her, but honestly, she's not very supportive. I'm still trying to figure out if she realizes this is more than just a 'phase' I go through. Personally, I try to talk to her about it, but she gets dispondant, so I leave the topic alone after bringing it up. HOPEFULLY, by bringing it up, she'll come to accept it more openly.
Not sure if that really tells you anything. I'll say this much though... These desires, at least for me, are not a 'mid-life crisis'. I've been CD'ing in private since I was a teen. Nor is it a sexuality thing, as hard as that is to separate, since when 'most' people consider the differences between men and women, the first thing they think about is sex. The fact of the matter is, there's a WHOLE LOT more to gender, and the desires of men to emulate femininity, and in a lot of cases, it has very little if any to do with sexual interraction.
Haven't been married but have been in a long time relationship (14 years).
She knew from the very beginning.
At first she seemed to be accepting.
at first she seemed to be supporting (gifts, shopping, even for "bed times") - (Today I assume she did it because of a kind of maternal instinc.)
Acceptance, and support diminished with the time and she only abided it later.
IMO she didn't get the point and I faild to explain it to her.
Ended up that she was embarrassed because of me and I felt to be insulted.
This contributed to the break-up just recently.
Ok my wife know about it way before we got together
she has even gotten me panties bras and nighties for me to wear
she has even told me to wear my girly things so i will not be cranky
Missy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy
Man, how cool is that!
I gotta have another conversation with the wife.
My wife knows and is very supportive. She found out before we were married and has been great a long. We go shopping together to get me things (I am not dressed then). She tells me sometimes that I need to dress because I am getting a little cranky. She even gets me thing for Christmas too. She is my best friend. She even lets me go and meet other Cd's for a night out. We have been trying to meet other couples around our area to get together with.
The key that I have found is to be open and honest with her and respect her feelings also. Remember, she married a guy and you have to give her equal time and attention that way too. If you forget this you are asking for trouble!
I mentioned that I have a date that I consider as Denise Anne's birthday. She went out and got me (Denise) a Birthday card. It was the sweetest thing she could have ever done for Denise. I love her very much! :love:
Denise Anne
Another answer to your wife's question:
I am married to a CD. I was told about "her" before we became intimate. I'd never entertained the thought of a relationship with a crossdresser, but for some reason (it was meant to be?) I whole heartedly accepted "her" from the moment I was told.
We've been together eight years (married seven) and I not only accept Trudi, I love and need her as much as I do him.
Sometimes three is not a crowd! :D
Hi Korinda,
I have a 100% accepting wife who posts here.
Why don't you invite your wife into the Forum so she can count them for herself. There are a lot of accepting GG's here that she might like to talk to and the benefits could be good for you both!
Missy Anne
Married.
Accepting wife. Although she would be just as happy to see it all go away, she has been very suportive, I think because she understands how important this is to me.
Also I try VERY hard to strike a balance that makes sure of equal time for her. Actually, more than equal time for her. I make certain that she knows she is the most important person in my life.
Lovies,
Steph
I don't know how long your wife has known, but I haven't known for that long, just since March. We have been together for 10 years, and married for 6 years. I do concider myself supportive, but just like him, I still have mixed feelings over his dressing every now and then. I am not either thrilled with it, but, I really don't care if he does it or not, as long as he's/she's happy, that's all I care about. So, if your wife has highs and lows over your dressing, that is ok, as long as she communicates that with you. Good luck, and deff. have her look into joining the GG forum.Quote:
Originally Posted by korinda
I've been married for almost 25 years. My wife has known about my desire to wear women's clothing for over 20 years. She's very much in love with me and supportive of me. I've been wearing panties 24/7 for about the last year and seems to be fine with that. I have other women's clothing that I wear like shorts, jeans, and a couple of blouses that I wear in male mode and she is ok with them as long as they don't look too femme.
I wear ladies pajamas or nightgowns to sleep in most nights. She greatly prefers the pajamas since they aren't too obviously femme. We have a child still living with us, so I don't get much chance to fully dress.
Last year we took a trip to Las Vegas. I went out wearing all ladies clothing. None of it was extremely feminine, but my wife was a bit uncomfortable with the pants and shoes, which were much more feminine than the other clothes.
Veronica
My wife knows, and still loves me also but doesn't want my crossdressing around the house or kids.... but she knows I still dress
Love Karren
We have been married 28 years and early on she knew i liked wearing lingerie and we would have sex with me dressed. In the last few years I have blossomed and she has had some ups and downs but is supportive overall. She buys me things and helps me with make-up, does my nails as I do hers, and encourages me to be fem. We have a few friends who know Danielle but do not go out much as we live in a small town so I only get out when we go out of town.
Married 30+ years, to a wonderful GG who recently began to post here. Honesty is the glue that holds us together. I think that here on this forum i'm not so unusual. :hugs:
married once, breakup had nothing to do with CD, got a GF now, who is cool with it, I don't need either support or acceptance, just an OK. I doubt if I will marry again, my curiosity on the subject is pretty much cured.
My wife knew after three months of dating. She never cared. Today we went shopping. Unfortunately, there was nothing I liked. When the kids are around, and I need some "reading time", I go into the bedroom to do my reading. She completely supports me.
Absolute acceptance. Told her when we started dating and she thought it a bit odd at the time but no problems. She helped me dress for my first ever outing and did my makeup. Now we buy our clothes together and often she forgets and pulls a dress of the rack and say as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "this one will look good on you and its only $xx".Quote:
Originally Posted by korinda
married.
The wife and I have been together for about five years. She has known since early on. She is very accepting, in fact we just got back from dinner and a movie (fully dressed). It is and was a wonderfull evening.
Huggs, Shelly.
I told my wife about three years after we got married and we have been married since 37 years.
She tolerates but doesn't support my X-dressing. Only exception : the long african style summer dresses as they are for men...
She accepted my x-dressing more easily when she thought it was primarily a sexual fantazy involving wearing lacy underwear. When she realized that my interest was more to spend time fully dressed "en femme", she became more hostile to the whole idea. But she understands that this is something I cannot get rid of. I try to be as discrete as possible in order to respect her own feelings.
We almost never speak about that subject, and even then, very rarely directly... "There are too many clothes in your wardrobe, you should make some room."
I consider myself rather happy about that since I can live my x-dressing without having to hide all my clothes.
:hugs:
Eugenie
TV/CD SO's level of acceptance lies at many different levels, my own partner when I posted she struggles with my dressing says that is the wrong word for it, yet it never mentioned by her, dispite her saying she accepts my need to do this. (I know it been the school holiday for the last 3 to 4 weeks, and thats really cramped/hampered me) but even during the non holiday period the subject is rarely mention by her first.
I can't say she does not accept, as she knows fully that I do this and if I need space I can ask and get it, even now during the holiday's I'm sure if I asked, I would be accomedated by her dissapearing with the kids, how ever that very different to some of the girl's on here that are totally in to there partners dressing and even get a buzz from it.
you and your partner will have to find your own level your comfortable with, and you must understand, that some SO dispite accepting there partners crossdressing can't actually face it, ie they know it happens, but they blank it from there mind, (karren kind of admits to this in her post) I feel also in a way this is what my partner does as well, she has told me she wants to move forward, and I'm sure she tries, but after 13 years of knowing I enjoy dressing fully, and at least 3 to 4 months on the site, trying to understand and move forward, in reality, we are still where we where before.
What I'm trying to say here is not all can take acceptance to a total and complete acceptance level, and therefore you have to accept that, and not envy others who's wifes do more. in my case I'm glad Raksha continues to try, and At least I can talk to her, openly about it, which I know is more than most can.
:2c:
Wow many of u r so lucky here, I know I shoulden't, but I'm so jealous:o
Im 28 and still living in the closet with no significant other:( Sometimes I feel there is no hope for me, but I'm glad I found u all here:hugs:
Wife is not supportive gives her much stress so I keep it hidden. I do ware women's underpants 24/7 and she has only said one thing about it. I'm going out in public here shortly so I have to get dressed in a hotel. She has not said a thing but I know she's not happy about it. I just gotta be me and that is all there is to it.:o
'Common Law' married (share the house deed) - 12 years. Missus is primarily indifferent (our marriage has sustained a lot of other challenges), sometimes negative, once in a while nasty, but... mostly fine with me being out - ultimately she is ambivilant. She worries our marriage problems (she had an affair shortly before I came out to her) contributed to my dressing (her guilt feelings) yet, on bad days, attempts to tease me with a topic she thinks will 'hurt' me. Ultimately, dressing (for me) is liberation and I think about my wife's crap a whole lot less than I used to. (Grin.)
Well youve probably hit the nail on the head there Stephenie. We are always reading about supportive or non supportive wives, but we hear very little about supportive CDs. I think from my own experience the reason Ive never had problems with my partners CDing is because he doesn't give me any. He doesn't suffer from depression, he doesn't drink, he doesn't give me a hard time about it, he's cool and accepting of what he does, and he shares it all with me. Its something that we do together, and not something that he goes off to do with all his CD mates, I never feel excluded or like ive got to tread on egg shells and understand where he's coming from. He doesn't have problems with his sexuality and he makes if very plain that he loves me to bits.Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephenie S
I know that there are many out there who do all of that and still do not get the acceptance that they so crave, but equally there are many who want everything their own way and expect their wives or partners to bend over backwards to understand this need that so envelopes them and causes some kind of personality disorder.
Take care
BEVxxxx
we have been married for 36 years, my wife knew about my dressing since before the wedding. She is very supporting, and buys about 95% of my clothes.I guess I'm very lucky to have a very understanding wife.
Been married for nearly 19 years, known about Nigella for 18 1/2 years. Love her for who she is and not what she wears and wouldn't have it any other way.
Hi Korinda my wife is around 90% o.k. with my dressing some times she wants her husband not Angie at this time she is not cool with it in bet but I get a good amount of dressing time :hugs:
Angie G.
Count your blessings, I'm married, my wife would never accept it in a million years. I can't begin to tell you how fortunate you are. Count your blessings.Quote:
Originally Posted by korinda
I have been married for almost 19 years now, and my wife is very accepting, always buying everything for me, wether we shop together or not,she has only ever asked for two things from, 1,i always give her some male time if needed (as she would let me dress 24/7) and 2,any photos taken are kept private,so i haven't had to make too many sacrifices in life as sharon.LOL.Sharon.
Thank you, Bev.
Another thing that I do that I feel is important is that I work very hard to let my wife know how much joy her acceptance of Stephenie gives me. I am soo happy that I do not have to hide and sneak around and I let her know this as often as I can. I tell my wife that her acceptance of me is like a song in my heart. And this is really true, it IS a song in my heart.
I think Stephenie is a better person than Steve was and I try and show this to her everyday.
Lovies,
Stephenie
Not married yet, But my Fiancee knows and is very supportive. At first she had some resverations, but she got past them with time, and now, we go out dressed on a monthly basis.
[SIZE="3"]My wife knows that I dress up. She says that it's just me and she doesn't stop me from dressing. We have been married over 26 years and we love each other. She even borrows some of my outfits.
Gennee[/SIZE]
My wife knows and even helps me do shopping. We've been on e-bay looking at wigs and brought one. We also brought a head so the wig could fit on it when I'm not wearing the wig.
She's my heart and we talk alot about the crossdressing which helps her to understand me.
So glad to hear of the acceptance. My wife of 21+ years acceps and supports me in my CD ways. I knew about it before I met her and diclosed it early in our relationship. She made the wedding night really sweet for me as Tiffany. She and I have aggreed to limits and what she will and will not tollerate and as long as I don't push the envelope all is well. Hugs to all.
Wife knows and accepts. She even uses it as a carrot in front of my face. "Hey if you get these chores done today, you can put on my nylons and anything else you want tonght!"
Of course, like all women, she is a bit fickle. Last time I asked, I got a firm NO! I We went shopping the other day at VS, and I bought her some really nice lingerie, and she hid it from me, so I don't wear it.:mad:
It'll be 31 years come the 21st since we were married. She's know for at least 30 years.
My wife is tollerent, and somewhat accepting. She'd prefer I didn't, for sure.
I wear panties everyday, and a nightie every night. I wear other fem items around the house as I feel like doing. We've been out together with me enfemme.
[SIZE="4"]I told my wife before we married. Our 30th anniversary will be next Feb. She is supportive and accepting. Would she prefer that I was not a crossdresser? No doubt. But, she knows that I am and accepts that. We shop together sometimes; at times, she's brought home "surprises" for me. Her enthusiam for my cding runs the gamut from engaging in some activities with me to distinctly annoyed with it. All in all, I feel very lucky to have her. Olivia[/SIZE]
Dear Korinda,
I have been married to the most wonderful women since we both were teenagers, and that is a long time. I pushed my nature out of sight for far too many years, hiding not only from my wife but also not accepting it myself. Lying to oneself is really the pits! I expressed my feelings and the true gender of my soul to my SO about a year ago, it was not the smoothest of moments; having kept from her what was in my heart seemed to be the biggest issue. Of course there was the concern; are you gay! Do you still love me, etc. Having talked through those issues we now have an even better relationship than before. Judith has been so understanding, that does not mean that she thinks it is the best thing that has ever happen to her. But she is so wonderful about me expressing the gender that I have always been, but hid so well. My career does not allow me to dress, so I have to keep dressing to the weekends and special nights. She has supprised me with some undies and makeup, but will not buy me "girly" magazines like Cosmo. When we are in the check out line and I nudge her to grab one of the mags. she often gives me the LOOK. I can not ever trully express how wonderful I feel now that I can trully be me, Josephine, the woman that has been locked inside and just screaming to be allowed to be. Sorry for such a long reply.
Hi Korinda, married 18 years, wife has known about it for two years. She tolerates it, and gives me time to do it. She has seen a few pictures of me but has not been with me while I am dressed. I am in a little different situation because I would like to be a female. That is hard for her. She said she could even handle going shopping with me in girl mode but the idea that I want to stay in girl mode is too much for her.
Korinda,
I am Bernice's SO. As he/she said, we have been married for over 30 years. I have known about the CDing since before we were married. Most of the GGs who post here seem to be accepting. That doesn't really come as a surprise to me. Several of the CDs have posted about problems with their SOs. It seems to be mostly when they keep it a secret for a long time.
From your post, it sounds like your wife knows about your CDing and you are talking about it. Those are good steps. I agree that you should encourage her to join the forum. From personal experience, I can tell you it may take a while for her to feel comfortable joining in. Bernice has been visiting this site for quite a while. I didn't keep track but I think it has been a year or more. I knew about it and was encouraged to join. It is only in the last couple of weeks that I started to post and I had only seen the forum a few times before that. Just let her go at her own speed.
Sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone. Certainly your wife is not alone. There are several of us on here. I have not yet visited the GG Forum but perhaps that would be helpful to her.
Good luck.
Debbie GG:hugs:
I'm one of the lucky ones. My wife not only accepts but enthusiastically participates in the fun! She was looking to date a cder before she met me and she says she could never be with a "regular guy" ever again.Quote:
Originally Posted by korinda
My wife knows about this part of me. She prefers not to see any of it, and we both agree that it should be kept from our daughter until she is old enough to understand. She has been agreeable to me joining a local CDers group but doesn't want to go, even though spouses are encouraged to come. So that's one more county heard from.
Nancy
I told my wife the night I proposed to her. That was 16 years ago. Her biggest concern was how hard it was for me to tell her. My big fear was that she wouldn't marry me or worse, not see me any more.The best thing I have ever done was to tell her. This woman helped me to understand what I am all about. She gets upset with me when I have a moment of doubt about who I am. I am so very blessed to have her as my best friend.
I dress to varying extents every day. The only thing that my wife doesn't care to much for is nail polish. So I don't polish my nails very often. Very small sacrifice on my part, don't you think?
From THE HOME OF THE MASTERS,
Davida
I told my wife a year before we got married she's very accepting has bought me clothes borrow clothes pics outfits for me to wear on my night out helped with makeup .Asked if she would go out with me and she replies she doesn't know how she would feel around other cd's.I only dress a few times a month but keeps me happy
Was married for 30 years, she knew, didn't like it, stayed hidden 'till she passed. Love and xxxx, Lily
My wife and I have been married for 37 years. She has known about my dressing all along. Her degree of support has had its ups and downs over the years. She doesn't have any problems with me keeping my body shaved or me going out and about with my friends dressed. The past couple of years she even hosted an enfemme New Years eve party at our home for our CD friends. However, she does not care to go out with me while I am dressed. This is mostly to do with possible recognition concerns. While I would love to have her company when out, I count my blessings for the support I have from her.
What an astounding post Bev! You should move this to a separate thread! You've put into words what I've thought SO many times.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bev06 GG
My wife is very supportive and does buy me womens clothes sometimes and brings them home for me to enjoy but at one time she was very unsure about it as she did not know how far i was taking it. One day when i was out she looked at this site and it realy helped her to understand. It is something you have to take step by step and for me that is showing her i still love her dressed as my male self as well.
Me, married for more than 5 years now, still in the closet since I know she wouldn't understand. Probably she will never now about it. It's good to know that many girls out there have supportive SO's... as someone said early on this thread... count your blessings.