I am accepting...as long as you are like me!

I have noticed that there is a certain degree of intolerance here on this board.

I wasn't going to make an issue out of this, but I seriously feel that I may want to search for somewhere else.

There is way too much bashing of homosexual and bisexuals here.

Words like "ick" and "eww" and "nasty" are not really needed.

Has anyone else picked up on this? I sort of understand it from the GGs and the SOs...they feel threatened, so it gets their dander up.

I want to remind everyone here that we all (at least the CDs/TGs) are involved in something that is generally not accepted by mainstream society. For you to call someone else "nasty" or "icky" is just plain ignorant!!

Don't be a hypocrite. We all want acceptance, and alienating one another is not going to get us where we want to be. We all have our opinions about things, but ripping into someone, the way I have seen done here, does not exactly solidify us as a community.

Gays and Lesbians are united, and they show support for one another...this is one reason that they are generally more accepted than CD/TGs.

Seriously...if you are straight, gay, or bi, it doesn't matter...we are all in this thing together. Slamming one another (don't even say it) for our sexual preferences or habits demeans us all and makes us nothing more than those we seek to change.

Should we segregate this forum?? A certain area for CDs, another for TGs, another for gay CDs, another for straight CDs, another for Black CDs, another for Jewish CDs, another for middle aged CDs, another for Hindu CDs...you see where I am going???

I have not been here long...and I feel that some of you are really great, and I feel that ALL of us deserve better than the treatment I have seen dished out here.

Please, let me know if I am out of line here. If this board is going to turn into a place that only CDs that are straight, out to their SOs (if they have them), and otherwise meet some kind of criteria can participate, beyond being CD/TG, then let me know...and I will be gone.

Thanks,
Morgan

well said.

I for one need to learn to separate my feelings about when my ox is being gored from how that perspective can be hurtful to the rest.

edit (after two pages of accusations about who doesn't accept whom and who is narrow minded and who is enlightened):

It seems inconsistent that "I don't get why some behavior or another is interesting" is "not accepting" but there is no need to be accepting of viewpoints if those viewpoints can be labeled as "narrow-minded". It sounds to me like those who wish to pretend that its not cheating if you are dressed, object to anyone making what are admittedly moral judgments about the behavior.

You can certainly reject my morality and substitute your own. I know that I have at times done just that. Rationalizing is the way we protect ourselves.

Look at my posts I hate the we are better than you crowd ie the panty police there are far too many that are to quick to jump on the fetish gay or anything that is not boring. They will run down anyone who does not conform to thier narrow minded ideals so fight against em make your sig count dont let right wing America take over here :thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Toyah

dont let right wing America take over here :thumbsup:

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Uh oh...now we need a seperate section for Republican CDs??? :D

Only kidding sweetie!! Thanks for the reply!

Morgan

No, just a non-conforming section for overseas members
Sorry I have not been around this area lately and have not noticed your complaint sources. Not that I would be worried anyway, out of place members tend to vanish without notice

I can't say that I've seen what I would call bashing here, but I haven't been looking for it either.

I have seen an occasional comment verging on rude regarding gay and/or bi people, but nothing anywhere near being vicious. While I disagree with that mentality, I feel that people should be free to express themselves as long as they don't get too ugly about it.

This place theoretically ought to be free of that sort of thing IMO, but we have a lot of wildly different people here, and we're not all going to agree on everything. We should be able to respectfully express opinions, even if others here don't like or agree with our opinions.

Leave if you must, but there is no place that is perfect. This place is the best I've found so far, so I try to accept it as-is, works sometimes, doesn't at other times.

Carol

OK as a member here and as a admin here ... as i see things two sided ....i am straight and those that are gay and those that are bi to each their own ..... do as you please it's your life ... just don't hurt any one ...

as a admin here my job is quite simple fairly enforce the rules for all members ... do what is for the good of the forum and it's members...

there are threads that start off OK but have the "history" of going off topic and causing trouble a few we have out here now..

your taking offense to others comments i can see were you might be coming from... but i can see were your going with this thread too...

what to do ??? what to do ??? do i close it ??? stop were it's going?? why then that backs up your "BASHING BS" ... i think i am more than fair and understanding not only as a member here but also as a admin here... as is the rest of the staff here .....

i saw posts all around in threads you are talking abought off topic and edgy ... now please your saying your going to have to find another place to go???? excuse me for being blunt .. i believe this thread is nothing more than a tool to start more "BS" ... and yet a nouther round of forum trouble ...

poor me threads started to get people all worked up is nothing more than trolling....


opinions expressed are mine .... and according to the thread starter should be welcome lest .... your bashing the forum and it's members ..... that the case ???.........

I've not seen anything like that on this board, I think you've got the wrong end of a certain thread!!!! nuff said!!

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

Has anyone else picked up on this? I sort of understand it from the GGs and the SOs...they feel threatened, so it gets their dander up.

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*Ahem*

I do not feel threatened at all. I haven't got a homophobic bone in my body, I was just as loud as some GGs who wanted to state on another thread that MOST CDs are straight men - and we know that it's not the norm for CDing to involve being gay or bi.

As I've said previously, I seriously doubt that the proportion of gay or bisexual males is higher amongst CDers than in any other cross section of society.

And I hasten to add - there is absolutely nothing threatening about a man in a nighty. ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wendy me

OK as a member here and as a admin here ... as i see things two sided ....i am straight and those that are gay and those that are bi to each their own ..... do as you please it's your life ... just don't hurt any one ...

as a admin here my job is quite simple fairly enforce the rules for all members ... do what is for the good of the forum and it's members...

there are threads that start off OK but have the "history" of going off topic and causing trouble a few we have out here now..

your taking offense to others comments i can see were you might be coming from... but i can see were your going with this thread too...

what to do ??? what to do ??? do i close it ??? stop were it's going?? why then that backs up your "BASHING BS" ... i think i am more than fair and understanding not only as a member here but also as a admin here... as is the rest of the staff here .....

i saw posts all around in threads you are talking abought off topic and edgy ... now please your saying your going to have to find another place to go???? excuse me for being blunt .. i believe this thread is nothing more than a tool to start more "BS" ... and yet a nouther round of forum trouble ...

poor me threads started to get people all worked up is nothing more than trolling....


opinions expressed are mine .... and according to the thread starter should be welcome lest .... your bashing the forum and it's members ..... that the case ???.........

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Sorry Wendy I disagree you should stop those who are so narrow minded !!!!

Hang on, why are the GG's & SO's getting it in the neck here?

If i recall correctly (& I haven't been back to check) but the "icky" & "eerrr" threads about gay sex were actually posted by CD's.

Toyah OK so we the staff ... your" panty Mafia" should stop those who are so narrow minded ??? cool yet is it not as narrow minded to stop one's opinion and allow anouthers???.....simple rules apply to all and this thread in my opinion is nothing more than "BS" trolling ...........

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Originally Posted by Hippy Chic

Hang on, why are the GG's & SO's getting it in the neck here?

If i recall correctly (& I haven't been back to check) but the "icky" & "eerrr" threads about gay sex were actually posted by CD's.

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There's nothing bloody new there, we always get it in the neck... you know why? because when we say something, we don't piss about around the houses, we come right out with it... sorry if that's harsh, but fgs, a few of us come out of hiding and post a bit and omg... we're gay bashing... whatever satin, you need to get with the damn program and try READING SOMETHING for a change instead of jumping to flaming conclusions, posting this bullcrap and stirring....

*goes off to bang head against brick wall... maybe I'll paint it purple*

It is ok to not like something. It's ok to speak one's mind (and indeed this right is protected in the United States and elsewhere in the civilized world), even if the language is vulgar. It would be ideal if all people were respectful with each other, but of course this will never happen.

It is not ok to pass laws that deny or limit rights to citizens because of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. Put another way, as individuals we must expect and indeed tolerate contrary, absurd, and outrageous non-violent behavior (especially in a representative democracy). We, in turn, have the right to ignore such individuals by tuning them out (turning off the television, radio, not reading a book, or walking away). Likewise, the moderator of a public forum has the right to shut them out.

In terms of my situation, people can think crossdressing is nasty, disgusting, perverted or whatever. I wish they didn't think that, but that is the way it is for many. I let them think and say what they want, and perhaps there is an opportunity to educate along the way. What is not acceptable is denying someone the same rights enjoyed by all because of crossdressing (for example, getting fired because a fellow colleague discovered you wear clothing of the opposite sex during your free time).

In the United States, our freedom of speech is and has been protected since 1789. It is a right rarely challenged. Most people around the world do not have this basic right. We should remember that. You should also take comfort in knowing that, in time, the ignorant among us will lose and those of enlightened constitution will inherit the Earth. This is why terrorism does not scare me, it merely annoys me.

Now, let's talk about about upcoming fall fashions.

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Originally Posted by Tamara GG

There's nothing bloody new there, we always get it in the neck... you know why? because when we say something, we don't piss about around the houses, we come right out with it... sorry if that's harsh, but fgs, a few of us come out of hiding and post a bit and omg... we're gay bashing... whatever satin, you need to get with the damn program and try READING SOMETHING for a change instead of jumping to flaming conclusions, posting this bullcrap and stirring....

*goes off to bang head against brick wall... maybe I'll paint it purple*

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well bleeding said Tamara!, i dont understand why this thread has been started, am i missing something please tell me??, ive seen no gay bashing on the forum by ANY GG, all ive seen is GGs say they believe its cheating if they are with a CD and that CD goes off with a man, going with a man beyond the boundaries of a relationship is wrong and deceitful, dressed or not! I too agreed with this and i will agree with this til the day i die!

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Originally Posted by Andreamfor

People can think crossdressing is nasty, disgusting, perverted or whatever. I wish they didn't think that, but that is the way it is for many. I let them think and say what they want, and perhaps there is an opportunity to educate along the way. What is not acceptable is denying someone the same rights enjoyed by all because of crossdressing (for example, getting fired because a fellow colleague discovered you wear clothing of the opposite sex during your free time).

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But no one has said that.... the whole thing has started because someone gloated about their SO being away and then they cheated with ANOTHER MAN...

:Pullhair:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

Has anyone else picked up on this? I sort of understand it from the GGs and the SOs...they feel threatened, so it gets their dander up.[/COLOR]

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Please don't make generalisations about us. Everyone hates it when we do it about CDers. And since when have us GG's been taking part in this so called bashing? I certainly haven't seen a single GG take part in this.

If you are refering to our comments on the thread about how many people have been with a guy, we weren't trying to put anyone down. The point we were trying to make (and that so many people appear to have missed) is that is that really appropriate for the forum? Is it really the type of image you want to portray of the CDing community to people who are here seeking help and answers (e.g. SO's who have recently found out).

Do you honestly want to potentially miss the opportunity to help a GG become accepting and understand what CDing really is for something so insignificant. Afterall, I often see replies to new GG's posts reassuring her that it is unlikely her partner is gay, wants to sleep with other men etc. Kinda seems ironic really when you consider the topic of the current most popular thread.

Yes we should all be dubious of what we read on the internet, how do we know it's really true? But in that situation, a GG is likely to take most things at face value. I know I certainly would have done.

But the one thing I do not agree with in any way shape or form is cheating on your partner. Being unfaithful is not acceptable, it just isn't fair on the other party and I will be extremely outspoken about the fact. Fair enough, what you do in your own personal and private life is your choice, but to go glorifying it on the internet is just unacceptable. If you really feel the need to talk about it, then use one of the private forums but for goodness sake it really isn't a topic to be discussed in the open forums of this site that can be viewed by anyone at all.

Would you think it's acceptable to be unfaithful to your wife with another woman (a GG that is)? If the answer is no then how on earth can you justify being unfaithful to her with another man? If you really cannot be faithful to one person (be that a man or a woman) then you shouldn't be in a relationship.

But no, I certainly have no problem at all with any lifestyle (I think that pretty much covers gender and sexual choices) people choose to lead.

But I do think everyone on this site needs to think long and hard about the image it is portraying to the wider community and whether this is really the way you wish them to view the CDing community.

I've intentionally stayed out of those threads, because I'm quite partial to the feminine side, and I do have some very strong feelings about honesty. But I will address to your concerns, even if they do border on the politically correct.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

I have noticed that there is a certain degree of intolerance here on this board.

I wasn't going to make an issue out of this, but I seriously feel that I may want to search for somewhere else.

There is way too much bashing of homosexual and bisexuals here.

Words like "ick" and "eww" and "nasty" are not really needed.

---

Isn't the purpose of a forum to be open to everyone for honest discussion? If someone finds a man's genitals in their face to be "ick" and "eww" and "nasty", why shouldn't they be be able to express it? According to polls on this forum, About half of us feel that way.

Quote:

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Has anyone else picked up on this? I sort of understand it from the GGs and the SOs...they feel threatened, so it gets their dander up.

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So it's OK if GG's and SO's say something, but it's not OK if the rest of us do?? Personally, I believe in equality for everyone.

Quote:

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I want to remind everyone here that we all (at least the CDs/TGs) are involved in something that is generally not accepted by mainstream society. For you to call someone else "nasty" or "icky" is just plain ignorant!!

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But consider that a lot of the CD's that express a desire to be with a guy are married or have female SO's. That is beyond plain ignorant, and they should be told so.

Quote:

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Don't be a hypocrite. We all want acceptance, and alienating one another is not going to get us where we want to be. We all have our opinions about things, but ripping into someone, the way I have seen done here, does not exactly solidify us as a community.

Gays and Lesbians are united, and they show support for one another...this is one reason that they are generally more accepted than CD/TGs.

---

I agree wholeheartedly. We can support each other, but that does not necessarily mean we have to like each and every action another CD does. Take for example the universally negative response of "borrowing" another woman's clothes. It was certainly OK for everyone to disagree, but I guess that was not a politically incorrect issue, so the PC police were not there.

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Seriously...if you are straight, gay, or bi, it doesn't matter...we are all in this thing together. Slamming one another (don't even say it) for our sexual preferences or habits demeans us all and makes us nothing more than those we seek to change.

Should we segregate this forum?? A certain area for CDs, another for TGs, another for gay CDs, another for straight CDs, another for Black CDs, another for Jewish CDs, another for middle aged CDs, another for Hindu CDs...you see where I am going???

I have not been here long...and I feel that some of you are really great, and I feel that ALL of us deserve better than the treatment I have seen dished out here.

Please, let me know if I am out of line here. If this board is going to turn into a place that only CDs that are straight, out to their SOs (if they have them), and otherwise meet some kind of criteria can participate, beyond being CD/TG, then let me know...and I will be gone.

---

I don't think you are out of line, but you may want to consider the fact that everyone thinks a little differently, and be willing to accept that fact. While we may all be in the same boat, going in generally the same direction, there will be differences. So what? That's life!

Quote:

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Thanks,
Morgan

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Actually I think you will find that the administrators of this forum do a really fine job of keeping things in line. They are accepting and open minded, but clamp down when things get out of hand. By all means, stick around! We may not see things eye to eye, but hey, I can accept that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tamara GG

There's nothing bloody new there, we always get it in the neck... you know why? because when we say something, we don't piss about around the houses, we come right out with it... sorry if that's harsh, but fgs, a few of us come out of hiding and post a bit and omg... we're gay bashing... whatever satin, you need to get with the damn program and try READING SOMETHING for a change instead of jumping to flaming conclusions, posting this bullcrap and stirring....

*goes off to bang head against brick wall... maybe I'll paint it purple*

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Hot damn, this is getting good!!

You go girl! Lol

well i have to throw my :2c: in here...i just don't see that there is that much bashing...truthfully in my reading i find everyone pretty supportive of everyone...not 100% but dang this ain't a perfect world...now for me i am 1 body with 2 identities ...1 male who likes women and 1 female who Looks at men....because our body is male that makes me bi and so be it...now lets all have a nice glass of white zin:drink: and :hugs: everyone

Tamara-

Quite right - I'm on your side here. My crossdressing example was just that - an example. I can't speak to anything else in this context because, like you and others here, I have no idea why this thread was started. I've always thought this forum was quite open and tolerant.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ema1234 GG

Do you honestly want to potentially miss the opportunity to help a GG become accepting and understand what CDing really is for something so insignificant. Afterall, I often see replies to new GG's posts reassuring her that it is unlikely her partner is gay, wants to sleep with other men etc. Kinda seems ironic really when you consider the topic of the current most popular thread

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Well said Ema!...This is exactly why i thought the forum is going to be revised cos it seems quite apparent there is an elite group of MTFs that want to control what is said on this forum and push out much need support for GGs, who want to understand better, with posts like the one we are discussing there is no way some GGs are ever going to come to terms with their SOs dressing, and i thought thats what many wanted??? perhaps im wrong

Bashing? Thats way over stating what goes on here. I have said it before and will again. This is a very friendly calm little place on the net with not much trolling & flaming.

That being said I would be less than honest if I did not say I too notice the funny little comments that some make like Ick!! or EWWW!! on the gay or bi threads. It did get on my nerves just a little but I have always just ignored those comments and moved on. By the way people that make those comments are revealing some discomfort or even doubt about their own sexuality is my opinion.

I do think that for some reason the GAY and BI girls tend to be the ones generating the more risque threads. This really is not a sex hookup site, nor a place for sex stories and all that. So dispite being BI I too sometimes get irratated at those threads where someone is trying to push the envelope a bit.

I fully admit and confess that I have slipped a time or two and posted in those sex threads....usually when in a playful lighthearted mood...and just wanting to be silly.

Oh yeah...I am proud to be in da Panty Police!!! Had fun with those threads when they were jumping up on the board every day. :tongueout I thought it was all good fun...but then again I probably offended some. Hmmm guess I obviously am not perfect nor above being judgemental myself! :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarah_Lynn100

But consider that a lot of the CD's that express a desire to be with a guy are married or have female SO's. That is beyond plain ignorant, and they should be told so.

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That is exactly the point that every GG has been trying to make. We aren't "gay bashing", we are trying to point out that it is unacceptable to do this whilst in a relationship.

And as for "cheater bashing" (yes I've just made up my own name for it) then I'm sorry for anyone I offened but I'll be the first to make my feelings known and remember where I left that 3x2...

But that goes for anyone, be them gay, straight, bi, CD, TG, TS or anything else you care to think of. If you can't be faithful to one person you shouldn't be in the relationship.

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Originally Posted by Kieron Andrew

Well said Ema!...This is exactly why i thought the forum is going to be revised cos it seems quite apparent there is an elite group of MTFs that want to control what is said on this forum and push out much need support for GGs, who want to understand better, with posts like the one we are discussing there is no way some GGs are ever going to come to terms with their SOs dressing, and i thought thats what many wanted??? perhaps im wrong

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Does a little GG dance...

But in all seriousness, it does make me question the reaction that many GG's who have found this site recently have had to that post. Have they gone away in horror and never posted because of it? I think chances are that I may have done.

And like Kieron said, I thought that for many being able to promote acceptance amongst GG's (or anyone for that matter) is what many on here wanted, but the current image that is being portrayed by this site is that the vast majority of CD's are gay or bi.

Yes sure some are, but I think the vast majority are not. However, you'd never guess that looking at the popularity of recent posts on here.

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Originally Posted by Ema1234 GG

If you can't be faithful to one person you shouldn't be in the relationship.

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thats it in a nutshell! :), very well put Ema, thanks :hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ema1234 GG

That is exactly the point that every GG has been trying to make. We aren't "gay bashing", we are trying to point out that it is unacceptable to do this whilst in a relationship.

And as for "cheater bashing" (yes I've just made up my own name for it) then I'm sorry for anyone I offened but I'll be the first to make my feelings known and remember where I left that 3x2...

But that goes for anyone, be them gay, straight, bi, CD, TG, TS or anything else you care to think of. If you can't be faithful to one person you shouldn't be in the relationship.

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Yuperoonie - you tell 'em. ;)

Put it this way - I divorced for my ex's adultery (and I bloody well made sure that was the stated reason too), I'd never consider leaving someone over a pair of knickers (and bras and basques and nighties and make-up and...).

I can only imagine how many women must feel and I'll bet the stereotypical crossdresser must come to mind. Therefore, he's going to be gay and going to want to go off with another man.

This forum is about offering support to GGs and family members of CDs and perpetuating that myth helps nobody at all, especially not the majority of CDers who are good, decent, honest people. In fact, that's what it seems many GGs like about our CDers, that they're a darn site more open and honest than most men out there.

I suggest a sticky at the top of the forum aimed at wives/girlfriends to discuss their straight, faithful CD partners to ensure that this message is seen and heard regardless of whoever posts about proud they are that they can use CDing as a valid reason to cheat.

So, here is what I find really amusing. I consider myself to be bisexual!!!!!! But because I prefer not to read stories of people glorifying their infidelity, nor to have them available to scare off other GG's, I am gay bashing!!!!! Whatever!!!!

I accept everyone. I just wish a little of that acceptance could get thrown my way!

Dee

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Deidra Cowen

Bashing? Thats way over stating what goes on here. I have said it before and will again. This is a very friendly calm little place on the net with not much trolling & flaming.

That being said I would be less than honest if I did not say I too notice the funny little comments that some make like Ick!! or EWWW!! on the gay or bi threads. It did get on my nerves just a little but I have always just ignored those comments and moved on. By the way people that make those comments are revealing some discomfort or even doubt about their own sexuality is my opinion.

I do think that for some reason the GAY and BI girls tend to be the ones generating the more risque threads. This really is not a sex hookup site, nor a place for sex stories and all that. So dispite being BI I too sometimes get irratated at those threads where someone is trying to push the envelope a bit.

I fully admit and confess that I have slipped a time or two and posted in those sex threads....usually when in a playful lighthearted mood...and just wanting to be silly.

Oh yeah...I am proud to be in da Panty Police!!! Had fun with those threads when they were jumping up on the board every day. :tongueout I thought it was all good fun...but then again I probably offended some. Hmmm guess I obviously am not perfect nor above being judgemental myself! :p

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Hunny you don't even come close to the closed minded asses here that are the panty police they know who they are, always judgmental always negative unless its their own view of what is right. I wont name names but they are a cancer in our midst so narrow minded and so influential it hurts

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hippy Chic's Chick

I suggest a sticky at the top of the forum aimed at wives/girlfriends to discuss their straight, faithful CD partners to ensure that this message is seen and heard regardless of whoever posts about proud they are that they can use CDing as a valid reason to cheat.

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A very good idea! :thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Barb's GG

I accept everyone. I just wish a little of that acceptance could get thrown my way!

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I think a lot of GG's on here will echo that sentiment, I know I certainly do.

so a married couple who mutually chooses to have an open relationship(sex with other people) are just plain wrong?? whats up with this...its nobody's business but theirs...now what is wrong is if it is not mutually agreed upon...that is cheating....my best friend (his) wife has said that she wishes for me to be fulfilled as a woman, she loves us both and wants us both to be happy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lora Olivia

so a married couple who mutually chooses to have an open relationship(sex with other people) are just plain wrong?? whats up with this...its nobody's business but theirs...now what is wrong is if it is not mutually agreed upon...that is cheating....my best friend (his) wife has said that she wishes for me to be fulfilled as a woman, she loves us both and wants us both to be happy

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That's a choice you make in your relationship and that's fine.

The issue here is that a CDer bragged about waiting until his wife was out of town to do the dirty on her.

It's not comparable to your situation.

I dont usually post but i feel i must this time. I think this thread has gotten way off track. lets just keep it to the original topic. WHY WOULD SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY WANT TO PUT DOWN SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY?:2c: That makes us no different that those thast put us down. So how can we expect to be accepted if we cant accept each other?????

Here we go again. No one has ever mentioned open relationships being wrong. But then again, that's people not fully reading someone elses post and then jumping to conclusions.

How on earth has anyone been talking about open relationships when words like "cheating" and "unfaithful" are being used. If all parties know fully what is going on and are consenting then there is nothing wrong with it, afterall it's their own private lives.

But it's when it's done behind one partners back that it becomes unacceptable.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lora Olivia

so a married couple who mutually chooses to have an open relationship(sex with other people) are just plain wrong?? whats up with this...its nobody's business but theirs...now what is wrong is if it is not mutually agreed upon...that is cheating....my best friend (his) wife has said that she wishes for me to be fulfilled as a woman, she loves us both and wants us both to be happy

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the issue isn't open relationships whereby the spouse knows the CD is going to go with a man...open agreed upon relationships seem perfectly responsible to me, in fact ive been in one myself, its when the CD intends to deceive the SO and do the nasty with a men behind her back the minute its turned and have no intention of discussing it with her

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lora Olivia

so a married couple who mutually chooses to have an open relationship(sex with other people) are just plain wrong?? whats up with this...its nobody's business but theirs...now what is wrong is if it is not mutually agreed upon...that is cheating....my best friend (his) wife has said that she wishes for me to be fulfilled as a woman, she loves us both and wants us both to be happy

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No, but anyone who waits until their SO is unavailable, out of town, or unaware to engage in sexual behavior with another person, contrary to vows or committment they have made with that other person is in the wrong. What 2 people choose to do in the privacy of their relationship is no one elses business. As a wife, I have exchanged vows with my husband to be faithful to each other. I have a reasonable expectation that these vows will be kept. If my SO then dresses, feels like a different person - a woman- and indulges in sexual activity with another man or woman, then he has broken his vows and I have every right to be upset. Same thing goes if he does it in trousers. No one is saying that people cannot practice whatever sexual activity they want. But if you have committed to be faithful to anohter person, then be faithful. It is only if one is in an "open relationship" and has released their SO from that portion of their vows that sexual relations outside the relationship is acceptable.


Dee

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Originally Posted by PatriciaCD

I dont usually post but i feel i must this time. I think this thread has gotten way off track. lets just keep it to the original topic. WHY WOULD SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY WANT TO PUT DOWN SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY?:2c: That makes us no different that those thast put us down. So how can we expect to be accepted if we cant accept each other?????

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That didn't happen - that would be much too simple. :D

There was a thread in which CDs were talking about sleeping with other men. Some CDs said, "Eww" or "Icky" about their thoughts regarding this.

GGs got the blame - cuz like it's obvious right, that if GGs are with a CD, we must hate the idea of sex with a man? Or summat.

And then this thread was started on the back of the one it occured on, in which the only time GGs had something to say was when a member boasted about being unfaithful to his wife - no GG brought the sex of either party into the equation, simply the unfaithfulness that occured.


See - easy peasy. :D

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Originally Posted by Kieron Andrew

its when the CD intends to deceive the SO and do the nasty with a men behind her back the minute its turned and have no intention of discussing it with her

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Yup, that's exactly the problem!

If they really need to explore their sexuality then they shouldn't be in a relationship, and if they already are and they honestly can't surpress these thoughts and desires they should be a man and end it before they hurt their SO even more.

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Originally Posted by Hippy Chic's Chick

That didn't happen - that would be much too simple. :D

There was a thread in which CDs were talking about sleeping with other men. Some CDs said, "Eww" or "Icky" about their thoughts regarding this.

GGs got the blame - cuz like it's obvious right, that if GGs are with a CD, we must hate the idea of sex with a man? Or summat.

And then this thread was started on the back of the one it occured on, in which the only time GGs had something to say was when a member boasted about being unfaithful to his wife - no GG brought the sex of either party into the equation, simply the unfaithfulness that occured.


See - easy peasy. :D

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Hippy Chick's Chick... A master of saying it like it is!

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Originally Posted by Ema1234 GG

and if they already are and they honestly can't surpress these thoughts and desires they should be a man and end it before they hurt their SO even more.

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or if thats the case, discuss it openly with the SO, rather than keeping it from them, there are SO's out there that will agree to an open relationship, or the chance for their spouse to explore their sexuality....if they dont agree to it then drop the idea or get the hell out the relationship before you even think of doing it anyway behind the SO's back

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Originally Posted by Kieron Andrew

there are SO's out there that will agree to an open relationship, or the chance for their spouse to explore their sexuality....

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Very good point actually that I'd not thought about, no doubt because personally I couldn't agree to an open relationship.

I suffer from the green eyed monster far too much. But that would be regardless of whether he wanted to sleep with other women or other men, I just couldn't hack it!

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or if thats the case, discuss it openly with the SO, rather than keeping it from them

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Exactly. Give me the opportunity to accept or decline. If we are in a relationship, then let me at least have the option to say go for it or not for me.

And really, this argument is exactly the same one I used when I found my Barb's stash of clothing. Give me the choice to be part of your dressing or not. If two people love one another, they owe each other the dignity of communication.

Dee

Oh my, I think I have managed to misconvey my feeling here...i agree that any sexual relationship behind the back of you SO is totally wrong whether it be homo or hetero my apologies to any who I may have offended:hugs:

I hate you all! I hate you all! :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

LOL! Just kidding!

Remember, Mills, or is that Miller, the father of American Liberalism, dreamt of a day when all would have a place at the table. So, Gays, Baptists, Martians, we all get our say. But Please! Let's be kind to each other. The world sucks. And many in the world hate us. Let's try and remember that...:o

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Originally Posted by PatriciaCD

WHY WOULD SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY WANT TO PUT DOWN SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS NOT ACCEPTED IN MAINSTREAM SOCIETY? That makes us no different that those thast put us down. So how can we expect to be accepted if we cant accept each other?????

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My original point exactly.

Where in my original post did I condone or promote anyone having extramarital affairs???!!!

Why is it that when someone stands up for the rights of a CD to find another man attractive that people assume that means in the context of wedlock?

You know, I am sorry I posted this thread...but it does show what the attitudes of many here are.

I will refrain from posting anything else concerning men or homosexuality or bisexuality here.

Congratulations. Those of you that sought to censor and oppress those of us that identify with that sexual orientation have successfully managed to do so.

Morgan

I'm not sure. Sometimes I prefer tater-tots from french fries. Or potato chips. It's a mood thing.



I figured since this thread is venturing off track, I would step on the accelerator a bit for extra fun.

Hey...seriously

I apologize to anyone offended. It was not my original intent.

To the GGs/SOs. You have every right to be pissed when your partner cheats on you. I have been there and it sucks. That is one of the reasons why I originally said "I can understand it when the GGs/SOs do it..."

To the CDs that find the issue "icky". You have every right to your opinions. The only issue I have is that using negative terms like that tend to demean others. It is a forum for opinions. You have every right to speak yours as well.

WendyMe...no, I do not want, nor have I suggested, that those that post such opinions be silenced. You can close this thread...it won't matter much.

Tamara...I do not recall directly involving you...you seem upset. I am sorry if I offended you.

To everyone else...my original intent was to unify...not divide. I guess this is an old debate?? I have not been party to it before, so I did not know that it was old issue that had been settled.

You all are entitled to your opinions...as am I. A forum like this is majority rules. Perhaps my "BS" post is not popular. I was only speaking from my heart. My opinions are mine and mine alone. As I stated above...I have learned from this. This forum does not seem the place to post about bi or homosexual desires. I will not do so again. There are many other topics to discuss concerning CDing that will be less offensive to those sensative to the subject.

I like this forum, I feel as though I have met several kindred spirits here. Unfortunately, I am in the learning curve period. I posted a panty pic, that got removed...MY OWN FAULT. I did not read the rules of the forum. I know now what is acceptable and what is not. I will keep my opinions concerning this subject out of these posts...like many have indicated that they would prefer.

As far as I am concerned, the issue is closed. Anyone that wants to continue to attack me for this...please go ahead...I do not mind. We are all different, and I understand that my ideas are not necessarily shared by all those here.

I really do not want to leave the forum. I posted that in anger. If the admins want me gone, they can do that...it is their job to make sure that everyone here is happy. Apparently I made some people unhappy with this post. Oh well...not much I can do about it now.

I can agree to disagree.

Morgan

OK! Whaaaat, have you got....against french fries? :devil:

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Originally Posted by Andreamfor

I'm not sure. Sometimes I prefer tater-tots from french fries. Or potato chips. It's a mood thing.

I figured since this thread is venturing off track, I would step on the accelerator a bit for extra fun.

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

I have noticed that there is a certain degree of intolerance here on this board.

Morgan

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AMEN SISTER!
WHAT SHE SAID AND DOUBLE!!
KEW

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Originally Posted by amandachick

OK! Whaaaat, have you got....against french fries? :devil:

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I mean they are obviously meant to be suggestive.

back on track:

my first post was originally entirely in support of the original post. I only edited it when it seemed that being "accepting" was suddenly interpreted by others (not the o.p.) as meaning that only those who are less than enthusiastic about explicit meanderings of mind need to just be glad for the assault on the senses or close their eyes.

further back to the original post that spawned this thread:
It had EXPLICIT description of what it is that this person (who had 2 posts at that point) had decided to do with a stranger in a car and stated that she felt free to do this because the SO was out of town. I realize now that the since edited version seems pretty tame. Now it just says hey, My SO left town and I had my first experience with a man. If they had posted just that, It wouldn't have been any different than many other posts, I might (but probably not) mention that cheating is an issue.

It was the fact that a new person who most likely had found an eager-to-hear-it-audience on a forum designed for explicit discussions previously, took one look at our threads and our posts and said, hey here is another place it has crossdresser in the title so it must be a place where such explicit discussion is appropriate.

Barbara...

I guess this is a messy area. I was not advocating that anyone go outside their relationship, whatever that may be, to find sexual happiness.

It seems the line gets blurry for some, on both sides of the issue. By posting that a man (CD or not) as the right to find another man attractive, somehow I have been misunderstood as saying that having sex outside of commited relation is okay. I did not, nor would I.

There is temptation all around us. If we choose to succumb to that temptation, it matters not what our sexual orientation is...only that we have chosen to commit an act of betrayal.

My original post was not really about the attack on the person that cheated on his wife or SO, it was about the use of language to describe the feeling that someone gets in reading about another's sexual preference.

I know now that my words were wasted and my meaning was lost.

Please, accept my sincere apology if I offended you. It was never my intent.

Morgan

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Originally Posted by SatinDoll00

Barbara...

I guess this is a messy area. I was not advocating that anyone go outside their relationship, whatever that may be, to find sexual happiness.

It seems the line gets blurry for some, on both sides of the issue. By posting that a man (CD or not) as the right to find another man attractive, somehow I have been misunderstood as saying that having sex outside of commited relation is okay. I did not, nor would I.

There is temptation all around us. If we choose to succumb to that temptation, it matters not what our sexual orientation is...only that we have chosen to commit an act of betrayal.

My original post was not really about the attack on the person that cheated on his wife or SO, it was about the use of language to describe the feeling that someone gets in reading about another's sexual preference.

I know now that my words were wasted and my meaning was lost.

Please, accept my sincere apology if I offended you. It was never my intent.

Morgan

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nope you didnt offend me at all that is why I agreed with your original post. I meant it when I said it is easy for me to see when I am offended but not why something I believe might offend others. I am sure we can all work on that.

For example, I have frequently stated my relief at finding out that being a CD doesn't mean I am gay. It wouldn't have occurred to me that my relief at that is also the opposite for someone who has same sex attraction (and are wondering where it "came" from) and decide that gender issues played a role.

I just think a little sensitivity all the way around with a focus more on the actual activity of crossdressing is where we have more common ground.