Yep Reine and Di said it all.
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Yep Reine and Di said it all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
Hahahahaha! Thats awesome about killing him. But i think the mental image of me dressed and sexual arousal is my wifes big one.
Thanks to everyone else, its comforting to know you feel the love now matter how they are dressed. My wife says she doesnt think about it while im dressed. Sort of a live and let live form of denial. We are only a few months into this, time will tell how my CD side and her interact
I don't know that this is necessarily denial. I very much have a live and let live attitude with my SO, in fact this is why I am so accepting.Quote:
Originally Posted by hope springs
She accepts but chooses not to think about it, ponder it, engage it, ask about it etc. Thats the denial part. She has said herself she is in a low level form of denial. Even so, we do hang out dressed and she offers input and advice. So a perhaps it would be more succint to say she is OK with it, but not all in. Which is fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
As of right now, none of the above. He still has a beard, no wig, no makeup and no female persona so the other stuff doesn't even register anymore. It's easy for me to see the "guy" that I met. His CDing is sexually based (at least from what I can tell) and we don't live together so I'm not dealing with it on a daily basis.Quote:
Originally Posted by hope springs
Hope Springs,
I hope you really wanted honesty? ...... In the beginning I knew nothing about cross dressing and participated with little expectation. I did not know if I was ok with it or not. I just was willing to see how it went. Every time after the first the anxiety mounted. I had to prepare myself mentally especially as I became more knowledgeable about the topic and what it really meant to my husband. I had to prepare much like an actress playing a role. It was ok at the time because I considered it a temporary situation but it progressed...... It seemed that cross dressing was the only thing my husband thought about. I stopped asking him simple questions like "What do you want to do this weekend?" because there was only one answer. He never initiated any activity other than cross dressing. I became a weary anxiety ridden, trapped women. He never cared about things that were important to me so I just said to H#ll with participating in the cross dressing and literally the same with my marriage. It drove me to want him to leave. When I did participate I would try to push thoughts out of my mind and just be in the moment but there were times looking back at the event and think WTF??? What am I doing? What in the world is he thinking? Why would he really want to do that? I deep down knew he was gay and perhaps pretended that he was the girl and I was the man when we were intimate. Once he took on the female role and without going into detail I almost threw up in my mouth because I knew deep down he had either done this with a man or thought about it a lot. It made me feel creepy. It was always about him being her and her satisfaction. I just could not wrap my brains around it.
Thank you kitty, of course i want honesty. I can see how his obsession with CDing would overshadow other parts of the relationship.. in fact thats exactly what im trying to avoid. As of now, if im being honest, i think the wife is weirded out. So i dress once a week or so and talk girly stuff maybe 2-3 times a week.
So sorry kitty it was a destructive force in your life. I hope there are greener pastures ahead
To the GGs.
Would you recommend this forum to a SO?
Does it scare you or make you more educated on the subject?
I'm thinking it might be both.
Sarah, I think it is both as well. We have a lot of posts in the CD section that can be misconstrued by GGs, who are apt to take everything literally. The only way this place can be educational for your SO, is if you ask her to show you the threads that concern her so that you can tell her directly where you stand on the issue being discussed.
Yes it is definitely both. At first the support was great, then I started reading threads that scared the bajeebers out of me for several weeks, especially because my SO's CDing was escalating. Now, most of the time it's OK. I am learning to take a lot with a grain of salt but it can be frustrating at times.
Yes I would recommend this forum, but I would warn her not to take to heart all that she reads, and not to think that because Mrs Mop has said and done this that her SO will want to do the same.
It can be scary for new SO's who join here but also it can there is a lot of support and most do learn a lot here.
I would recommend it to GGs and most our Fab members tell us how glad they are they found us. I do know alot of new GGs ....new to cding get freeked out by some of the posts in m2f / but after awhile see not all cders are alike and to discuss and have a open discussion with their partner.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah21
Thanks Ladies for the replies, I really appreciate it. Some great advice there.
OK, so this one might seem like a stupid question from a CD but here it is:
Why do / would you (i.e. GG's) wear a dress / skirt?
It is arguable that dresses really have very little function in terms of clothing. Pants are warmer and easier to work in. Short skirts are possibly cooler but Shorts are again much easier to work in and there is no problem with hems riding up or underwear showing if you don't keep your legs together when bending or sitting down. Both pants and shorts can be worn with short or long sleeve tops (though obviously the same can be said of skirts). It is abundantly clear that both pants and shorts can be made in a "feminine" style. Pants are often socially easier as well in that a good pair of dress pants and a blouse is probably the most versatile outfit i.e. you are less likely to be either "overdressed" or "underdressed" for a function per se. So what is the attraction of a dress? Is it a workplace requirement? Is it a social thing? Competition with other women for attention? Competition for male attention? Perhaps to enhance / express body shape to make you feel comfortable / proud of your body? Is it genuinely just more comfortable? Or perhaps (even likely) it is some other reason?
I am genuinely and seriously just curious.
Adina
Where to begin....what I choose to wear each morning generally starts with !) what DOESN'T need to be ironed 2) am I in the mood for heels today? 3) what undergarments am I in the mood for today and are they in the laundry? 4) I'm bloated so picks 1, 2 and 3 are out of the question 5) what am I doing at work today (getting on my hands and knees to fix the copy machine? - quite possible) 6) haven't worn this in a while, I think I'll wear.... Just remember on hot days shorts are not always acceptable in the workplace wear as a skirt is. I'm in a n office where the airconditioning and hear are completely unpredictable so I keep a cardigan on the back of my chair.
If it's not work it's usually about what is appropriate. For a formal or semi-formal even a dress is a must, just like a tuxedo or suit and tie is necessary for a guy. A business casual event maybe a skirt or slacks... honestly most of the time it has very little to do with being "girly" although I admit, sometimes it is. We can be girlie in a cute pair of walking shorts, a pretty blouse and flats. The difference is, I can go out in sweats and it doesn't affect my mood one way or another - it just depends on what I am doing.
It's all about the situation.
Hi Adina. It's not a silly question from anyone. I like to feel feminine and comfortable too. Living in a desert like region it's all about dresses. I especially like light weight sun dresses or halter style dresses. I'll add hose if we are going out.
Exception is deep cleaning with lots of kneeling and weird positions or painting. :O On the odd cooler day I will wear yoga pants for warmth and comfort. And if I am helping out with car maintenance it's jeans and a tee.
Bonus points for the reaction from my loving hubby when he sees me in yet another dress. :D
I dress mostly to fit into an environment.
If I don't have to go anywhere, I wear jeans and comfy sweaters. In the summer I wear a lot of very casual cotton skirts with sandals because they are cooler than jeans. I don't consider the mall, the grocery store, the bank, etc, places to dress up in. I don't dress up when I go out with friends for pizza, when I have friends over, or when I go to their houses for dinner. I do dress up if I go to a wedding, a classical concert, or a restaurant that is more than casual dining. I dress up more often when I visit larger cities than I do in the small town I live in now. In other words, I dress to blend. :D
When I shop for dresses, skirts, sweaters, etc, I do have an eye for fashion and I choose (obviously) outfits that are current, that appeal to me, that look good on me, that are good quality material (I'd rather have 2 good skirts than 5 cheap ones), and that are suitable for my age (no more short, short skirts and skin-tight tops, or shorts in the summer).
At work, I wear skirts and nicer sweaters or blouses, jackets, etc, to look professional. I don't wear high heels. There are plenty of very stylish flats or 1" heels around and I want to be comfortable. It's not cold yet, but this winter I plan on stocking up with a few nice pairs of slacks to wear to work.
I have never been one to wear many dresses or skirts, but as I get older I am finding that I love to have a nice Maxi dress for those really hot summer days. I mostly wear a dress if I need to. Like going somewhere nice for dinner with my SO. I mostly wear what I like and that is tank tops and shorts on the summer (no farmers tan here) and nice warm clothes in the winter. The more comfy the better ;)
Don't often visit this part of the form - silly me - but reading through a couple of the earlier threads about feeling feminine got me thinking. My wife and were talking a bit about this, and I came to the conclusion that when I dress, perhaps I do so to feel elegant, beautiful (dream on) and for some reason relaxed. As for feeling feminine, I wouldn't recognize that if I tripped over it. I simply have no real frame of reference there, except from the visual, which is an illusion anyway.
Any thoughts?
When I'm by myself, I don't feel particularly feminine or masculine. I just feel like me. This also holds true when I am in the company of other women. When female friends and I are hanging out somewhere and talking, it feels like I'm with people who speak a shared language. We may look and dress differently, but to me these differences are only superficial. Fundamentally we are of the same ilk, so I feel like "me" who is in the presence of a bunch of other "me"s ... not particularly feminine or masculine.
The society that I live in tells me that I AM feminine when I do certain things or look a certain way. I suppose this is true to an extent. I won't argue the idea that certain clothes are more feminine-looking than others, or certain ways of speaking, sitting, or sashaying down the street are more feminine than others. But, when I'm by myself sitting in a certain way and wearing these things, I feel no different than if I were wearing blue jeans and had my legs propped up on the coffee table while watching TV. I just feel like me.
I feel my "femininity" only when it is in contrast with something else, namely, masculinity. This is when the difference between myself and the male who is in my presence is emphasized. I don't feel as if I'm with someone who is in my camp, so to speak. I don't know how to explain it other than to say that the gender contrast between me and a male, this "thing" that is so difficult to define other than intuitively (vibes maybe?), is intensified when I'm in the presence of a male.
On a very few occasions in my life, I have been in the presence of women who've given me a "male" vibe. And I've been in the presence of men who gave me a "female" vibe. But I need to say that it isn't about the way they dress or how they look. It is deeper than that.
What goes through my head? Adoration, I love my husband, we are unique because I have known since we met that he CD, we met so I could help him pick makeup and clothing. I am sometimes amazed at how 'easily' he can become a she, how he can go from my husband to a beautiful woman. There is no shock or disgust, I love the calmness he carries when he dresses and I enjoy every second of it, wish there were more of those moments.
Question: Do you ever wish you had a "Get out of jail free B-slap" card?...A "B-slap" was a prominent part of the TV show "How I Met Your Mother"....
I know that you are all here trying to understand, and offer your own understanding as "gently" as you can....And THANK YOU for that!!!...But honestly, even I wanna B-slap some of my fellow CDers sometimes when they fail to understand terms like: balance, boundaries, perspective, consideration etc....
This whole CD Thang is a learning experience for all of us involved....But still...Sometimes...."To the moon Alice"....
Edited to add: Xtra points to anyone who wants to answer; "Yeah, Jaye, I'd like to B-slap her, but am afraid that she'd enjoy the slap and want to incorporate a whole new element into our already complicated enough sex-life"...
Just wondering:-)
Jaye
Hi Sarah21. I'm a GG and new here. I started out on a smaller forum when my husband started CD and found it to be helpful, and a good place to bounce my ideas off other people. I WOULD recommend it, though some of the first reading I did here and my first experience with a Mod was very off-putting. Now that I've gotten to know some people it's better. I think it would be good to have a section just for new incoming wives of CD. We could bypass all the scary "Your husband is going to transition" stuff and instead ease into it slowly and give people hope that things can work out and the support to build their relationships instead of scaring them apart.
Adina, we wear skirts and dresses to feel more feminine or for a change of pace. I think the reason so many CD wear them is for comfort and to also appear more femme. You have to overcome a male bone structure by slightly exaggerating your hair, make-up and clothing and aiming for a very female appearance. I didn't realize that at first and it worried me as a wife that my husband dressed so girly, but now I can see why. If he wore jeans and a tee he'd still look like a man, but add the make-up, bra and wig and it's much harder to tell. If you like a dress, wear it. If you want a nice pant suit, go for that. Every woman has to find her own style.
Ladies, what is the best way to both tell you of a person's crossdressing, and what should they do to help you feel comfortable (if anything at all) with the crossdressing?
Speak from your heart and tell your truth. Please do not try to figure out what someone else wants to hear and limit your explanation to that.
As to what you might do to help her feel comfortable, you'll need to ask her what that is. We're all different, we all have different levels of understanding and tolerance based on lots of different variables.
I have a question for you gg's. Is it relatively easy for you to spot a crossdresser? I guess ive outed myself to girls before, with stuff like.....i love your makeup how did you get your eyes to look like that?
It is for me. I've been exposed to the members of this community a lot plus I paint and draw so I'm familiar with the subtle and not so subtle differences between male and female physiognomy.
I am new here I don't understand the nomenclature what is a GG and so on . . . ?
Artsitdreamer, have a look at this post:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post2636748
Hello Ladies I have a few fashion type questions for you all. When is a skirt/dress too short for you and when did become that?
First, to level set, as we are all different heights and widths, let's go with fingertip length as our baseline.
1) Is fingertip length too short for you?
2) Was it always that way?
3) If not always that way, what age did it become to short for you?
4) Whether you wear this length or not, where is this length appropriate to wear? Casual dining? Formal dining? Movies? Theatre? etc.
5) Where do you find your comfortable length today? (x cm/inches above kneecap or y cm/inches below fingertip)
Thanks,
I don't know what fingertip length is. Is it 1/2", or 1"?
A hemline became too short for me only after I observed signs of aging. Although I wear a size medium (at 5'9), over time my knees developed fat deposits (my SO thinks I am crazy), and I can see that my upper legs jiggle a bit when I walk. My muscles used to be toned. So because I don't like how my knees look and I don't like the jiggle, I feel more comfortable wearing skirts that hit at the knee. But, if I'm wearing opaque tights that hide everything, then I can go shorter by a few inches.
In the summer when it is too hot to worry about anything, instead of wearing shorts that are considerably above the knee I don't worry too much if the skirt hits 2 inches above. But, this is for casual day wear and I wear the shorter skirts (cotton casual) with flats. The shorter the hemline, the flatter the shoes for me. I will wear high heels with knee length hemlines or longer (or with pants) if I am dressing up to go somewhere.
As I approach my 60s, I feel increasingly uncomfortable dressing like a young woman. A lot of styles that are shorter are in my eyes more suitable for women in their 20s and 30s than women my age. It doesn't mean I cannot be stylish, I certainly don't dress like a grandma, but in my opinion there is a time and place for everything. I had my days of walking around showing off my legs. lol. I'm just not there any more. I'll leave the wolf whistles to the younger crowd.
Last, I'm tall for a woman and have a long torso, which makes a lot of sized 'regular' hemlines shorter on me than they are intended, which I notice is often the case with CDers. I shop for women's tall clothing when I can.
sorry, I thought this was a standard term:-). if you were holding your arms straight down and fingers straight the bottom of your skirt would meet thereQuote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Oh, OK. lol. I'm from a different country, maybe that's why I'm not familiar with the term.
Anyway, I just stood up to check it out. Fingertip length is way too short for me. But then I guess it depends on how long a person's arms are in relation to their torso. On me, fingertip length is about 6-8 inches above my knee, which makes the hemline more than halfway up the upper part of my leg! :p
Well my answer to this isn't fair. I wear whatever length I want because I am only 5 feet tall. Things are rarely ever too short. But I would say i need to be able to bend over modestly when picking something up. I am age privileged for this, no one blinks an eye at what I wear.
Fingertip length is too short for me, because I have a substantial booty and with that length of skirt if I bend over even the tiniest amount it shows my underwear and I don't like that. It's always been too short, although I did try to wear a skirt that length once. My mom was super shocked when she saw that.
If you can bend over flat without showing off your underwear, it's good to be worn in non-work situations. Just keep in mind that when your skirt is really short it rides up the backs of your legs when you sit down, which means you are basically putting naked legs and such where other people have had their naked legs.
I would say wear what makes you feel happy, comfortable and doesn't make it look like you forgot to put on pants.
Hey all! Wow...I cannot believe I've never seen this thread! Lol! I'm so happy and thankful that there are some understanding GG's to help girls like me! So my one question is what are 3 things that every crossdresser should never overlook when dresssing to pass?
Don't overdress or attempt to dress too sexy for your age and venue, not too much makeup (do put on makeup to mask male features but try to make it look as if you are not wearing any), and either wear a decent wig or grow your own hair. Also, take care to not have too large breast forms or hip pads ... try to maintain an average GG's bust:waist:hip ratio rather than the ideal or the imagined.
Good luck!
Makeup, Good Foundation and concealer, so that it does look natural, lipstick.
Outfits that make you feel good, fit properly , and your comfortable in...whether its leggins and nikes, or a dress & heels
Hair, growing yr own We found w/ Kimmi has made a huge difference , no more wigs. If a wig, a very natural real looking one, or try Extensions for an even more natural look!
The ladies gave great answers on looking natural not extreme except at a club .
So I will talk about Not over looking looking confident..... The worst thing you can do is act all nervous and look around to see if someone is looking. Dead give away for people to take a second look ( which will make you even more nervous )
So the ones first going out/ hold your head high and own it.
When shopping for the perfect length dress or skirt, once you are in a dressing room and need to leave to get another size what do you do with your purse?
I bring it with me.
Same thing for gym locker rooms. If I'm not renting a locker with a lock, I bring my purse with me. Would you leave your wallet in an unlocked locker in the locker room?
For all GG, well I have a rare feeling, maybe is normal in hetero crossdressers, I get excited when I feel more feminine that a GG, I love change rolls, you know like the fact that I like to think that a GG is more masculine that I.
its not she needs to be very masculine, I mean she can be a normal femenine GG but I get excited that even then Im more femenine, more delicade.
Once In a fight with mi ex girldfried she tell me: you're like the girl in the relacionship! Obviosly she want to ofend, but I get so excited!! What do you think GG????
You're not the only one. I can't tell you how many times I've read this same sentiment expressed in the forum. I suppose everyone's tastes are different though. We are all attracted to particular characteristics in people (for example some people like blondes while others prefer brunettes, some people like skinny women while others prefer a woman with curves). But, it makes sense that some CDers would have a preference for partners and friends who make them feel more feminine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninna
I personally prefer men with long hair. This dates back to my teenage years in the 1970s, where guys with long hair were considered radical or rebels because they bucked the system. But a good female friend prefers men with short hair. She might prefer people who are less dissenting.
This may have already been answered upthread and if it has, I apologize. Is there a good resource for what style tops go with what style bottoms. My fav color is blue but should I expand by wardrobe selection choices to pink, etc.? Right now, I have to be very discreet due to my living situation before Danielle is allowed to come out full time.
There are no hard and fast rules. It all depends on your body type and the style or "look" you want to achieve (dressy, casual, dressy-casual, sporty, classic, punk or any number of styles there are out there). It's important to make sure that the tops and pants fit you properly and hit your body in their intended spots (for example don't buy a top that is supposed to hit at the hip but only goes down to your waist). Color and fabric coordination are also important but the rules for this are too varied and subjective for me to try to explain what clashes and what doesn't.
As to color preference, wear any color you like and that suits your skin tone: pink, blue, orange, olive, yellow, black, green, purple, and any of the hundreds of shades within each color, it doesn't really matter. None of us can advise you on color because we cannot see how the specific color looks on your skin tone.
My favorite resources are tried and true fashion magazines. I also try to look at what the window dressers put together in the stores. Finally, after lots of years of trial and error, I just know what looks good on me. Accentuate your best features and you will feel good in what you are wearing. Mine are thighs and breasts, so a lot of v-neck shirts and mid-thigh skirts/dresses are in my closet. Of course a combo of both is an instant favorite. Color/pattern wise, unfortunately plaid is all the rage at the moment.....
Hi everyone.I am so glad this is here:)
I have a question that ive been wondering but didnt have anyone to ask until now.
I got out of a serious relationship a little over a year ago and havent dated or been with anyone since then but I am starting to want to again. I didnt start to CD until after me and the last girl broke up so it is completely new territory to me. My problem doesnt lie in how to tell a girl when I start dating her because once I start dating I will not be doing this but with 2 exceptions... Over the past months I started to really really love thigh high/over the knee socks(i only own black or gray but many variations of each lol) and boyshorts of all kinds(the seamless/supersoft cotton ones being my favorite followed by the practical non revealing ones) and I wear both of these things under my normal clothes more days than i dont, and Usually wear them at the same time(matching of course though lol). I only wear pants since I am tall and skinny so its not noticeable unless im pantless. So my question is basically what if you just started dating a guy and he was wearing OTN/thigh-high socks and boyshorts, and would it be better if I didnt do it at all or just not the first time, etc?? Would it be a minor or major thing for you?
ty for your time if you read this.
lol
Given what I know now, it would be a minor thing although I'd expect the CDing to expand eventually.
If I had never been exposed to this community and started dating a guy who wore what you describe, I'd think it was odd and I'd be anxious to hear his explanation, although I'd suspect it was some sort of fetish. My reaction would depend on how well I tolerate fetish. :)
I like to be as feminine as I can in everything. Except sex. I'm straight. I like needlearts, girlie movies, even stereotypical stuff like housework. I'd like to have some online gg friends who I could correspond with regularly. So basically my question is would any of you like to write, and also, does anybody know where I could put an ad to find woman who like that I crossdress? I'm even thinking about normal dating sites, but nearly everything seems to be location specific, and I only want to do online for now. I've also thought about penpal sites but haven't found any decent ones. I can't crossdress as often as I'd like as my wife is not keen on the idea. Please let me know, it gets kinda lonely always hiding it.
I'm responding because I hate for your query to go unanswered, but frankly I've no idea where you could meet GGs for strictly online interaction. There aren't many GG members in this forum and even then, the GGs here tend to join not because they want to befriend and help other CDers out, but because they are in relationships, have recently found out about their SOs, and need support. You could try dating sites or Craig's List, but as you say, the GGs there are likely wanting to meet men they can date or be friends with in person.
I don't know of any discussion forums strictly for GGs who want to interract with CDers for the sheer pleasure of it. Sorry.