No effect on our sex life. Although, I have refused to dress around my wife at all so that is probably part of the reason why. In a previous relationship cross dressing absolutely enhanced our sex life.
Printable View
No effect on our sex life. Although, I have refused to dress around my wife at all so that is probably part of the reason why. In a previous relationship cross dressing absolutely enhanced our sex life.
I would have to say mostly negative to impartial, but certainly NOT positive. If she were to dwell on it, certainly negative, but if she isn?t forced to confront it and doesn?t think about it, then impartial. At times it has certainly been a cause of negativity or abstinence, but in the overall big picture somewhat negative to impartial.
Yes because it makes me froggy lol
I was a late bloomer with my CDing and immediately came out to my wife of nearly 20 year. After 4 years, I can safely say CDing has neither enhanced no eroded our sex life.
It's kind of hard to tell. Have you heard the story about the beans?
Get a big jar or vase. Every time you have sex in the first year after marriage put a bean in the jar. At the end of the first year, take a bean out every time you have sex. No matter how long your relationship is, you'll never empty the jar.
Pop quiz for mathematicians and engineers. What is the moral (or the conclusion) of this story.
Junk "science", urban legend. Not true if you have a good relationship, but it takes work to keep it up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi
My wife knows, I am a closet crossdresser and she does not accept that but she also seems to tolerate my weakness somehow. This is because we are very close one to each other.
Of course, she expects me to stop doing that but at the same time, as she is very intelligent she knows I am completely not capable to do.
From my perspective CD helps in our sex live by increasing my level of sexual sensitivity. When having sex with her I always think of myself as being a lesbian woman. I am not sure if my wife is aware of that. However, for sure she can benefit much from that.
Yes, crossdressing has affected my sex life. I told my wife about it before we got engaged. She was not happy about it but accepted it. As our married life went on she became more accepting, growing into participating and choosing lingerie for me to wear. The rate of intimacy certainly increased. And then we had kids. Frequency of Sex decreased, frequency of CDing with her decreased (but not solo dressing). Eventually she denied every time I wanted to CD with her, and the rate of plain vanilla sex steadily decreased to a definitive ?NO? every time. Except for solo dressing, which she knows about but prefers to ignore, we have had a sexless marriage for close to 20 years. Now with both of us having medical issues and her going through menopause, I don?t know if that will change, but in my head, I?m still that 25 year old beauty.
not at all
Steffi, I'd say the moral of your story is:
If u still have beans in the jar after 10 years it's time to part. At least, that's what my ex and I did!:straightface:
I have a boyfriend and I wear beautiful/romantic lingerie to bed every night, and the answer is absolutely it has in a very positive way. :)
Hi Shery :hugs:, The two don't Mix well together >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**
The cd'ing has had no effect on our sex life. What DID, was last year my wife got Sqamous Cell Carcinoma and had to have a total Rhinectomy to get rid of it. Now she thinks she looks like a monster. I still love her and tell her so but she's very self-conscious about it. We've done "it" once in the past 18 months.
Jon
Re the beans in the jar story: is frequency of sexual intercourse the measure of a successful marriage?
To each their own Audrey. But, I'm 80 and sex is still important to me. So, for me our sexless marriage became unbearable.:thumbsdn:
After my divorce, when I was dating again I broke up with a woman I was serious about until I kissed her. I felt no passion, it was like kissing a rag doll!::sad:
Game over!:thumbsdn:
It hasn't affected us one way or the other. Sometimes I crawl into bed wearing something, sometimes I don't.
I enjoy incorporating it in the bedroom but it's never a requirement. She doesn't care one way or the other.
Depends on the mood I suppose.
Dressing has not affected our sex life because CD'ing is not really part of it. We have both worn lingerie to bed a few times but I don't really consider that dressing and I wasn't trying to present as a woman at the time. While my wife is super supportive of my dressing, she has indicated she sees me as her husband dressed in women clothing, not as a woman even when I put together a convincing combination. She also is not bisexual, so even if she saw me as a woman when dressed, she could not see herself being intimin with me.
Thanks, Misty. But, my post wasn't aimed at those of u who dress with your SO when having relations.:eek:
I classify that info as personal and TMI!:doh:
I guess I'm saying that while frequency of intercourse may be measure of a successful marriage, it's not THE ONLY measure of a successful marriage. if it was ONLY the absence of sex that ended your marriage it might not have been such a great marriage
I told my girlfriend that I was a crossdresser about 10 days before our first intimacy. She likes lingerie for herself and so she likes it on me, too. In that way, crossdressing had a positive effect.
She does not ever want to see me fully dressed. In that sense, crossdressing would impact our relationship negatively.
Audrey, I get your point about "great" marriages. But, I've only had the one so I'm no expert.:straightface:
We were/are very different people from different back grounds. When we got together there were plenty of disagreements. But, for 7 years we never went to sleep until we worked them out! Our differences led to passionate discussions and life. And, in MY experiences intimacy and passion r related! True intimacy has always motivated me and my current date or girlfriend to become physical!:o
Only one marriage but lots of girlfriends in my 80 years!:hugs:
When the communication left our marriage so did the intimacy and passion. All we had left were our differences and unspoken hostilities. That, without heart felt discussions kept building. Maybe others can live with that but my ex and I couldn't and wouldn't. And, all of us including our kids, were much happier living apart!:)
It’s hard to tell the effect of CDing in our sex life because it was builded around it. As I have mentioned many posts before, I told her very early in our 6 year relationship.
She is very analytical and I remember we talking about a percentage of times when each of us would like to have relations as my male persona or female persona. That would be a very open conversation in a very light tone, almost exploratory.
Five years later, the female persona has become a “de facto” ruler. When we are alone she always refers to me using feminine pronouns and insists that I present myself as Gi in our house.
I guess the main reason that our relationship evolved this way is that Gi has an advantage to “show up” mainly in happy occasions and situations. All the bad moments in our relationship were in the presence of my male persona. She mentioned that many and many times - All the memories she has with Gi are very good memories.
And I sure plan to keep it that way!
Yes it has. During our 30 plus year marriage she saw me wearing pantyhose several times. In 2018 I wrote her a letter explaining that I have been this way my whole life and that I finally accept my feminine side. Since then there has been no more intimacy. I am not a man in her eyes anymore, even if I dont dress around her. She knows about my feminine side and that has made me unsuitable for her sexually. We are married friends that still care about each other, but she does get upset and depressed not having a sex life. So do I.
Have u tried couples therapy, Jade? I don't think it could hurt in your situation. Do u think your SO would be willing to try that?:straightface:
No effect from Dressing. Because, I have never dressed when intimate with her. She isn't interested in being intimate with another woman. she needs me in Man mode. I'm good with that because dressing has never been sexual for me and I don't require or desire being dressed during intimacy. She knows all my sexual desires in both male and female mind mode.