wondering what is said when you leave?

Given I hang around often with Kieron, who can lipread at a distance, I have a fair idea.

Typically 'Was that male, or female?'


If they're not sure, that'll do me.. :)

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Originally Posted by crossdrezzer1

I often wonder what is said after I leave a place,,even though when I go to some favorite stores like for example dress barn and fashion bug,,,the SA's are very friendly and act like they are excited to see me but often when I leave I wish the walls had ears,, thinking are they laughing about meand what are they talking about,

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Easy. They are saying "Cha-ching!".

They say whatever they want. Most of it is probably bad.

We look at this from the perspective of us being something which is different to them. Think about this for a moment. What happens when a guy with a lot of tattoos, piercings or extremely overweight walks into a store (say Walmart). Most everybody will avoid him and be nice if they have to. After he leaves, some will say rude things about him. Lets think about the women who is way overweight. She is a GG, but has to suffer rude comments all of the time due to her weight. They are nice to her in the store, but after she leaves they act like themselves. We all do it to some extent whether we realize it or not. People always make fun and ridicule people that are different than themselves.

If you weren't a crossdresser wouldn't you think it was weird for a guy to dress like a girl? I would, but see I understand and applaud anyone with the courage to walk out of the closet. This is human nature and I roll with the punches.

See I would rather be talked about behind my back than stay in the closet.

I think in the back of your mind, you would kind of want to know what was said--just human nature. Can't really dwell on it though,keep smilin' and move on!

I read this thread with a fair amount of interest....

having come from a very male dominated and macho working enviroment over the years that came across all aspects of society under all conditions and circumstances I can attest that people can come up with the most bias, bigoted, hurtful, hateful and distasteful comments one can imagine and then some...

That said there are two beilefs I have....

One is that's simply human nature to have the vast majority of people regardless what the issue is or what the circumstances be to respond in some similar type manner as I previosuly described....especting anything less from the human species is simply foolish...we can not be kind loving accepting of others who are perceived as being "different" from our own selves....be it race, ethenticty, financial level, empyoment or a host of other classifications...

The other "truth" is this... the old proverb holds truer today than ever before...."those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"....in other words most of us aside from a tiny factional portion of society all have faults conditions or hidden secrets that they hide from 99.999% of those who know them....thus this brings me back to the original comments about people being bigots biased etc etc etc......

Bottom line is expect nothing from another and only be true to one's self and go forth with pride, understanding confidence and love in your heart and treat your fellow man with the Golden Rule...that way you can make a little bit difference in this world where there are others who can't....and that's all one can expect now isn't it????

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Originally Posted by JulieC

I think there's several aspects of this.

One, people who make derogatory comments behind your back have the character of a headless chicken running around. My very own brother has made some very negative comments regarding CDers that he's come across. Ironically, I know for a fact that he's worn pantyhose before (part of his equestrian gear). Yet, he makes the comments anyways. Which leads into...

Two, dignity. If you play the freak, you will be thought of as a freak. If you comport yourself with dignity, you may still be thought of as a freak, but your dignity slowly erodes the culture of hate towards TG people. This applies whether your en femme or not. If I hear negative comments from people I try to slowly erode their prejudice, plant seeds, and maybe help move them forward to a better understanding. I might make a response such as "Well, there's no law against it. He's not hurting anyone." If I was feeling a bit more strongly about it, I might say "Interestingly enough, I'm sure his blood is red, just like african americans, jews, native americans, and any other group we've had a history of discriminating against"

I will not allow myself to be dragged down to the same level as those who hate TGs. If I did, I would be guilty of having the same problems as they have.

Three, humans do a 'wonderful' job of hating things that are different. Women were scorned too for wearing pants. They pressed on anyways. You can't change society by taking heed of the haters of the world, and trying to appease them. You can change it by proceeding on with your life despite their hate. This can take a lot of courage and not small amount of risk. I personally do not take this risk when there's a reasonable chance of it negatively affecting me because I have several people in my life that depend on me.

Four, a tree falls in a forest but nobody is there to hear it. Does it make a sound? If someone makes nasty comments about you after they left, are they nasty comments? The knee jerk answer is of course "yes", but that's absolutist. In reality, the nasty comments are inconsequential because the true target of them does not hear them. The philosophical measure is whether or not you are treated appropriately when you are interacting with them and can hear them. If they treat you professionally and with courtesy, their personal opinions and nasty comments spoken after you leave are of no consequence to you. There are millions of people around the world that hate Americans. We only rarely hear the nasty insults these people speak of Americans. Do these insults stop us from being American? No, they don't of course.

Fifth, though it hasn't happened to me recently, if a salesperson does discriminate against me in some way for being TG, I will have that person's head on a platter. I'm a righteous SOB when motivated, and do not take discrimination of any kind in stride. I will not descend to their level (though it's tempting to bait them with comments of them being a neanderthal, what fun they must have discriminating against everything that doesn't have their hair, eye, skin color, etc). But, I will take action with respect to their personal attitudes interfering with the conduct of business of the company they work for. They may quickly find themselves out of a job. I don't have to be respected by employees of a company, liked, or thought well of. I do have a right to be treated like any other customer and will fight for that right.

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A most thoughtful response and absolutely correct.

Kerrry :love:

While I think it would be interesting sometimes to hear I dont really care much, if I did I would not go out.

I don't come anywhere close to passing sowhen I am out it is obvious that I am a man in a dress. I have always been treated decently and politely by others when I'm out. I would be amazed if no one has made a comment or laughed after I have left. I enjoy going out and I do not mind that my appearence brings a little enjoyment to the lives of others.