My coming out story

Your story is so heartbreaking I don't even know what to say. I just hope you can find a way through this, and know we're here for you. :hugs:

I'm sorry about your graduation night, Thornton. How sad! :sad:

I met someone on Saturday night who is in a similar situation. She is a M2F TG. Her wife has known about the CDing since they've been married, years ago. Even though the TG does not hide her clothing nor does she sneak around to go out dressed, her wife refuses to see her dressed, will not hear of it, will not discuss it, will not acknowledge that it exists.

It's as if these people believe that TGs have a choice in the matter, or in the case of your parents, they believe it is a phase. Many family members truly are in denial. In my TG friend's case, the wife won't even read material on the subject. Your parents, however, might open their ears and eyes to becoming educated, since you are their child and I do believe there is no stronger love than what a parent feels for their child.

Your parents may be just thinking it is a 'phase' and they are using the same tactics that might have worked when you were 'misbehaving' as a small child, not realizing this is for real and you ARE an adult when it comes to deciding your gender.

They need education. Are there books you could give them that explains about being TS? Or a good online internet site for young adults who want their parents' support? Is there a counselor who might intervene on your behalf? There are increasingly more parents who allow their young children to express the gender they feel. Could you research news articles or other resources you might share with your parents?

But most importantly, do not give up on them. You can continue to reinforce (lovingly) that you are not going through a phase, while reassuring them that you love them very much and you would like their support. It might take awhile, but please do not burn your bridges. For a parent, having an 18 to 21 year old child is on the cusp of realizing they are full fledged adults. As I mentioned in an earlier post, it takes a while to let go.
:love:

I am very sorry that things are not going well.
Your strength and courage are impressive, keep your chin up, stay strong, there are a lot of people who are behind you.

Well I was going to offer to stand in for your mom at graduation, but I see that I already missed it. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Just curious, if you ever feel like talking about it, where do your brothers stand on all of this (since you haven't mentioned their reactions)?

My brothers...

I don't know if they know.
I haven't told them.
I don't know if my parents told them or not.
If they have, my brothers don't show it.
Do I plan on telling them?
No.
Why?
It's just not necessary.
Let me refer back to a previous sentence of mine: "...no one in my house talks to anyone about personal matters, ever..."
And that's not about to change anytime soon.
But, if I did tell my brothers, I doubt they'd care. My coming out would probably be just slightly more impacting than hearing the weather.
I doubt I exaggerate, but if I do, their reaction does not matter all too much. They would either reject me like my parents, or more likely, simply not care either way about the whole thing. Since I'm not close to them, I would not be phased by either reaction.

I don't need to tell them. I don't talk when I don't need to. I don't tell them.

Hi Thornton,

I read your post earlier today, on my cell phone, so I couldn't immediately reply. But your words touched me, and your story was very engaging. I am truly sorry to hear what you are going through, you do not deserve this.

For whatever it's worth, I offer my full support and sincerely hope that you have the greatest time in life. Good luck with everything

Jessica