Falling in love with "her"

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Originally Posted by nicky22

Wow, you all are great...I love this forum. Thanks. I know it will all even out emotionally but man...to go from having a boyfriend to having a bf/gf, never shopping to clearing every sale rack in the South of England, nights in the pub to nights at home with the shades drawn...falling in love all over again...and with a gorgeous woman...phew...it's alot!! Thanks again for the great perspectives.

One more thing...when I used the word normal, I was referring to the split, crazy, schitzophrenic feelings...not the Cding...ta...

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Do you have a sister? Seriously, you are a dream, and just wait till you two go from "nights at home with the shades drawn" to nights on the town, although I'd recommend that you start off with a ladies lunch...

The first time my wife and I went to a TG confrence togeather my wife said she was going to miss being with me when we were going there. A few days after it was over, she said she missed being with Brit.

I thought that was kinda cool.

I think it's normal, I love the boy side as much as the girl side of my SO. It's wonderful. We are also fairly new as a couple and it gets better each day.

Just let yourself feel what you feel, it's all good.

Respectfully
Lady Joan

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Originally Posted by JulieC

I'll echo what many said above. Stop worrying about what is "normal". Such value judgments place power in the hands of people external to your relationship. Define for the two of you what you want. That's your normal.

Some above have commented about two separate entities within the same person. If that works for them, it's great. It doesn't work for me and my wife. I don't think of myself as having a split personality, or a second personae that I can conveniently box up and put away as need be, only to drag out when the urge arises.

I'm me, all of me. My wife recognizes this too, and knows she loves all of me, not one part more or less, not the masculine more than the feminine, but all of me.

Who you are in love with is a soul. That soul has many aspects of it. Would you feel abnormal for loving your boyfriend more when he is happy as opposed to upset or angry? Of course not. You're enjoying him...all of him.

The newness will level off. You can't help it. It's what you create in the process of the newness leveling off that will be the foundation bedrock of your relationship. Ultimately, if you prefer him in a wig, dress, tights, and heels and he wants to be that way as much as you want him to be that way, then openly encourage him. It might be that in a few years time he will no longer have any male clothes, and all his wardrobe will be female clothes.

Regardless, you're one very lucky girl to have found someone you love so much, in whatever form! Congratulations!

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Julie said this very well!

If you cheating on him with her the way I see it is you him and her are the winners. I thinking just go with it if you like it that much I think that's great Wish I was that lucky.:hugs:
Angie

I'm pretty new to all of this too and feel the same way. Maybe not quite so "in love" with her, but I do like his femme side. It is VERY confusing trying to put 2 personalities together ecspecially when you've only known and fell in love with one side. I wish I would have known from the beginning, it would have been easier to deal with. I find that when I think too much about it, it's too much to try to understand so it helps to just go with the flow and try not to complicate things. I have a very stuffy job and wear suits, hair back, sensible shoes all day and when not working I wear jeans, converse and t-shirts..hair down, more make-up. I try to equate it with that...there's the you you have to present to the world and the you you are more comfortable with. Same guy....just feels more comfortable in a dress. That's my uneducated :2c:.....

Kelly

I agree with everyone here...just enjoy, don't psychoanalyze, and have fun. You've got the best of both worlds. :)