Only thought, we're we ever the bloke she married. I suspect the following day we were totally different?
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Only thought, we're we ever the bloke she married. I suspect the following day we were totally different?
neither of us is and not all for the better she has a chronic illness and I have become a little bitter and cd more than ever before.
And oh how I wish I had told her before...but alas didn't want to lose her. Now we are just roommates...lots of love but little passion. And a new empty nest.
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I think you have to try and see the problem from her perspective. Her perception changes, not him, the image of him in her mind.
From that point of view, he's not the man she married.
I don't know what the book's all about (I can guess), but my point is that it's understandable when a woman reacts badly to her SO being a crossdresser, or gay or a gambler or a womanizer or a bum, if she didn't know about it before.
Basically, yes. I'm twenty-five pounds heavier now - I'm more upset about that than I am my dressing! We've both changed to some degree. My wife's read the aforementioned book, and since I'm not completely 24/7 consumed with CD'ing as seemed to be the case with the guy in the book, I don't think she considers it that big of a deal. Truth be known, she quite enjoys that we wear the same size shoes and she regularly wears a lot of them I bought for me!
I fully dress very rarely but underdress regularly, and I don't think it's caused any problems in our relationship. Take care all and God bless! :)
When I first told Jackie, a couple years before we married, I was a crossdresser. She was okay with that; otherwise, I wouldn't have married her. But, neither she or I could have possibly known how much I would change over the ensuing years. She loves me still. Completely. She accepts me for what/who I am. Would she prefer that I was not a crossdresser? I guess so, I'm really not sure anymore as her acceptance seems so real and genuine. I do know that being transgendered is what I am, she knows that too, as do our children. So, am I the person she married? In some ways I am, but then, I am not. I am much more comfortable with myself, as is she. I dress at home most of the time, back then, I didn't(of course, coming out to our children when they were adults changed that dynamic). I think of it as evolution. I have evolved as a human being in my own way. She has evolved too, especially as she has come to understand what it takes to make me feel complete, to feel like the person I am. Am I the person she married? No, I am not but she still loves me. That's all that matters to us...
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Thank you for realizing this. It is a refreshing reply. A lot of time the reply is "it is all your fault"Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmama
Yes my wife and I are not the same people who married 16 years ago. We have both gained weight, I lost it all and I am back to my High School Days weight and she has not been so lucky. But that said I still love her so, I think that is what makes her so accepting of me, I am off kilter but I love her just exactly the same. Our love is not based on what the outside looks like or portrays but what is on the inside and how we treat each other.
Fat or Thin I love her, I would like to think Male or Female she loves me!
Feel free to tear this apart.
Yes, the CDing, that would be an obvious change if it was not known at the beginning of the marriage but I am totally with you when you say "aren't we still the same inside" .... yes we most definitely are. That's where it counts isn't it? The core values of the person inside. Does the person you're married to make you feel good about yourself? Does he/she make you happy? Can you imagine living your life without this person being part of it? IMHO these are the real questions, everything else can be worked out with lots of late night conversations over a bottle of wine (you know alcohol makes to say out loud what you're really thinking - right?) :)Quote:
Originally Posted by helenr