Wen4cd, thanks for the links to the imagery. What you said about the balance in Eastern philosophy is what I've been working for this past year. I've posted a couple of pictures in another thread of Shiva and his consort, Shakti (Parvati) whey they are shown blended into one being.
That said, I do a lot of feminization self hypnosis and am always looking for new MP3s in that vein online. So right now, the girl in me is stronger when I'm alone and even at work, she's always in my awareness.
I have never been out in public dressed, but have done some online video chatting. Though I have no desire to have relations with guys, I enjoy it when they think I'm a woman or even when they compliment me on my attractiveness when they know I'm not. But I mainly chat with females and have a couple of online friends who like my look while dressed.
I picked the name "Joanie" long ago, when I was in my late teens. I'd love to have a female body and be a ****ty lesbian. But I also like my "manly bits." I have no desire to have surgery as I know that I wouldn't have the nerve endings and sensations that a real female body has.
I've never been much into sports and am uncomfortable around a bunch of loud, rowdy guys. But when I listen to a group of women talk for a bit, it grates on me and I think I'm glad that I'm not really a woman. My dressing has kept me from finding a wife or even a long term girlfriend and now at 50, I don't think it will ever happen. But the best thing I've done for myself is the decision this past year to embrace my female half and integrate her more into my life. Shooting for a yin/yang balance has really helped me. Some days the pendulum swings more in one direction or the other, but I'm glad I've accepted the goddess into my life.
