My SO does not really accept anymore.

The numerous posts here suggesting that it is normal for a GG to go back and forth on how much CDing she will acceptance is normal, but is troubling. My wife is now non-accepting and will tolerate my wearing traditionally women’s clothes only if there is a non-CD raison d’etre. I keep going further though, and pushing her limits with baby steps. My goal is eventually to go out in public with her en femme, and to accompany her in a ladies restroom. If she were to change her mind in mid-course, it would be a major setback to my incremental plan.

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Originally Posted by TSchapes

She will go back and forth, this is not unusual. What you need to do is find out where the lines are now. You may have to reel it back a bit, or have some exclusive guy time with her to let her know the guy she fell in love with is still there.

I had told my SO before we got married and thought she was OK with it. 20 years later I'm still trying to find the lines. Sometimes it's better and sometimes it's not...

Hang in there and talk to them about it.

Love, Tracy

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Yeah, I think this is pretty accurate. It wasn't an SO, but my roommate when I had my apartment had lines too. He didn't mind if I had the bra and forms under my guy clothes (so he didn't mind the boobs) but he basically got weirded out if he saw me in a gown or dress when I was lounging around...which I was a little weirded out about myself. So yeah, just find the lines of acceptance. Too much too fast is never good.

Think of it from her perspective, you come to her one day and say, "Honey, I'm a cross dresser." She may think, "Oh, okay so he likes to wear panties under his guy clothes, whatever." Or maybe "Okay, so he likes to play dress up, that's kinda kinky, I'm cool with that." But then suddenly if she's seeing you in your girl-clothes ALL THE TIME and not just on occasion, then she may feel like she's getting to know you all over again...like you're a different person. So that's, I think, why some women seem okay and then later they are weirded out. GGs, help me out here? Am I on target?

[QUOTE=sfwarbonnet;1969636]The numerous posts here suggesting that it is normal for a GG to go back and forth on how much CDing she will acceptance is normal, but is troubling.

I won`t argue whether it is normal or troubling but i do think that in a lot of case`s it is understandable for a wife/SO to have second thoughts about it as the wife/ SO maybe happy with a certain amount and then the CD wants to push things even further, you cannot expect a " i want and you give" to work all the time , give them some credit and respect .( i am just saying this in general and not pointing at anyone) :)

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Originally Posted by sfwarbonnet

The numerous posts here suggesting that it is normal for a GG to go back and forth on how much CDing she will acceptance is normal, but is troubling. My wife is now non-accepting and will tolerate my wearing traditionally women’s clothes only if there is a non-CD raison d’etre. I keep going further though, and pushing her limits with baby steps. My goal is eventually to go out in public with her en femme, and to accompany her in a ladies restroom. If she were to change her mind in mid-course, it would be a major setback to my incremental plan.

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Truth, it's all about setting a pace, feeling someone out and adapting to thier personality and comfort zone. It's probably not a great idea to just out of the blue greet her one day dressed as Cher obviously ( :) ). Be patient. I started out shaving my legs almost 5 yrs ago and slowly progressed thru unisex boots, metro-sexual-esque grooming habits, exposing my more sensative side and over the course of about 3 to 4 yrs slowly moved into lingerie and eventually a wig, makeup and more public attire. I slowly introduced my wife to my feminine side. This is obviously different from woman to woman but you have to be able to know when you're coming on too strong and be willing to back off when you sense this from you're SO, you have to know your (and her) limits.

Also, IMO, for most women you still have to be a man sometimes. Alot of them look to their man for security or a feeling of safety and many of them arent lesbians, that's why they married us in the first place.

Here's another tip, as mentioned before, pay more attention to her. Go shopping with her and when she picks up a pair of shoes or a dress, tell her how "cute" they are or start giving her pedicures and painting her nails. Be the best girlfriend your wife has, that will definately break down some barriers and most importantly, communicate with her as much as possible, even about things that dont necessarily concern CD and make sure and really listen to what she has to say.

Sorry for the long post. :)

I have tried to pull back more than I though necessary- not withholding anything from my SO but really holding back on the dressing and experimentation. While my SO like yours said there was no problem, women like men often don't really say everything they are thinking and feeling so my thought was best to have her draw me out at her pace. If she were to deny my dressing or create a dilemma after saying it was OK with her, well that would be tough on our relationship.

So last night she asked what I had ordered- unclear it if was an invitation to dress or hinting at displeasure over the item or some perceived secrecy on my part. I'm hoping she'll someone miss the dressed me and indicate she wants to see more of her otherwise I'll just hold off until I feel pressure building within me (like today- I'm going crazy with it unfortunately).

A lot of the back and forth is maybe a byproduct of getting more in touch with our feminine side and more aware of her body language. A "dockers guy" probably wouldn't notice or care- we do. With greater sensitivity comes great drama:)

My first wife never even attempted to accept. I had to completely hide it from her. Which I was less than 100% succesful at. The second tried at first but as I started shaving my legs and underdressing she became less tolerant. I even tried dressing up as part of sexual role play but that did not work either. I do give her credit for at least having tried.

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Originally Posted by Amanda Styles

My first wife never even attempted to accept. I had to completely hide it from her. Which I was less than 100% succesful at. The second tried at first but as I started shaving my legs and underdressing she became less tolerant. I even tried dressing up as part of sexual role play but that did not work either. I do give her credit for at least having tried.

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Is a wife who goes out with. uses a public woman's restroom with, displays PDA with, and makes love to, a CD en femme a lesbian wannabe? Maybe that's why many married GG's aren't supportive; they don't want to be seen with (what appears to be) another woman. Is a CD who is attracted to GG's. and who wants to make love en femme also a lesbian wannabe?

From my personal experience, my SO, now my ex-wife, wanted no part of it or to accept it. In her mind I was cd'ing because I wanted to be with a guy.

I pulled back to the point of not dressing or mentioning it, but I was unhappy. I offered counseling, I went alone and she never wanted to go. Most of her friends who knew told her she was being narrow minded. She was so reluctant that one day she just left without saying a word.

IMHO, keep talking, keep the communication open, ask her what are her feelings, but ask her as the guy she knows.