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A SA I was saw on Friday had no idea I was a guy until I talked. That made my day.
The walk (with 4inch heels), the makeup, the cleavage... it is coming together.
This is just another phase in my life, I am going to enjoy it as much as I can.
By the way I ahve fould some nice jewery at the GoodWill.
Yes we probably are freakin' nuts. But we're having a good time being nuts.
Last Saturday night a group of us girls went out. My wife and another girls wife were with us. She asked my wife if she was "ok" with this (dressing, dancing, etc). My wife had a simple reply. She said, "You know. Before Allie came out our life was pretty boring."
That can be taken a number of ways. It hasn't been easy. But it certainly hasn't been boring.
Kisses,
Allie
I've always been nuts. Now I'm enlightened in the fact that I dress, don't pass, and still enjoy all that I wear and Like you From the waste down I'm enfemme 24/7. I lost two wives due to dressing and still dress. Maybe I'm a nutcase who only thinks she's enlightened.:love::fairy1:
I used to be "nuts" ... example, ... I'd pay full retail price for something, rather than wait for the markdown sale.
Perhaps by some standards that a number of people still cling to, I might be considered a bit out of the mainstream.
Frankly , my dear, I don't give a ....
To make my enjoyment of what I do satisfying, I avoid THOSE people and places where they gather.
And if the S.A. s regard me as some sort of "cute pet" who wanders into their store on occassion and spends money, I don't mind as long as I get the item I'm looking for and a possible conversational "tummy scratch" I'm happy.
Hello Sherry!
You have asked the big question that exists for all of us. I do not feel "enlightened", but actually a bit split. society tells me I'm not normal, and more then "nuts". I go out more often now and not just the safe places that I used to. Why? I can't tell you, but go I must!
When I think about my situation, it does make me chuckle a bit. I go to crazy lengths to live almost a double life, knowing that I will never in a million years pass. But you know what? I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. 90% of people go through life never questioning things, accepting a cookie cutter existance that most adopt to fit in and be "normal". I personally feel blessed that I have broken that mould, and get to experience both sides of the coin in a single lifetime. Most guys will never know what its like to remember to remove a dangly earring seconds before a big meeting at work, or throw a cushion over the bra you accidentally left on the sofa when an unexpected visitor turns up.
You are all amazing and I feel lucky to count myself as one of you.
Kate W says:
So, is that maybe what I'm trying to get at here....when I use the term "enlightened"...in the fact that we able to go beyond or transcend what most consider normal and by doing so we get to expereince a way of life that only a minority of people can experience....Quote:
When I think about my situation, it does make me chuckle a bit. I go to crazy lengths to live almost a double life, knowing that I will never in a million years pass. But you know what? I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. 90% of people go through life never questioning things, accepting a cookie cutter existance that most adopt to fit in and be "normal". I personally feel blessed that I have broken that mould, and get to experience both sides of the coin in a single lifetime.
We all seem to risk losing relationships, friends, jobs and a host of other things but we still not only take the chance but as you say you go to crazy lengths to do it....and most of us do especially those who go out the front door...because what we have or what we get from the dressing is so intense so pleasurable so appealing so neccessary in our lives now that we will expeience with all the abandonment of security and what the typical member of society would consider abnormal behavior and say we must be nuts but in fact we do this with a great deal of understand insight into what we are doing and why we are doing it far more than the average person would understand....and to be able to do this takes a great deal of self awareness and confidence in one's own self....so no we're not nuts nor crazy and there is a large percentage of crossdressers according what you all list as your profession of very intelligent people in a number of learned professions as you all have listed in your career fields....
Anyway, food for thought....
"Are we freakin' nuts..?", hmmm --- let see now --- I always deemed the rest of the world as freakin' nuts except for you and me, but maybe I should worry about you (just kidding Sherry). If doing this is being nuts, then let's have a party because being nutty is really a lot of fun. Do we dare tell the rest of the world about this? If they find this out, then everyone will want to be a nut too.
"Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't." Sing along if you know the rest of the jingle.
Babette
Yes, In the western world male to female crossdressing is taboo. (but, if a woman wears male pants thats ok... arge...) As you point out, despite the inherent risk of ridicule and being marginalized. We dare venture out within society to express who we are.
Why, because most things in life that are important and have real meaning to us a human beings, are not easy or risk free.
It is true, with no risk there is no reward. In this case the reward is happiness and self fulfillment.
As the Declaration of Independence states:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
We're not nuts!
I don't think that we fully consider what is at stake when the dressing begins.
The fact that we're risking the loss of our old self for the sake of an uncertain new identity does not sink in until that new identity begins to take shape. The changes are so minute, so gradual they resemble grains of sand. Before long, we're standing on a beach that wasn't there the last time we looked down. It's scary but I think natural and even inevitable for those of us that feel the call.
It's a bit like being a pet owner. Please indulge me, I will explain.
Imagine one day you notice a scrawny, mangy stray cat that for some reason won't leave your property. You sprayed it with the hose, it came back. You chased him off the property like a madman, the next day there he is hanging out in the flower bed again. Nothing works and the cat keeps coming back. Lucky you, the persistent little bugger prefers your lawn.
So one day you feed it. The cat purrs and you see it gradually grow to a healthy weight. A couple weeks later you take it to a vet appointment. For some reason you've taken an interest in its well-being. Then a trip to the groomers. Soon the cat has the run of the house and isn't confined to the lawn.
At some point your relationship to this cat just changed altogether, but so gradually you didn't notice it happening. Now that it's been cared for and nurtured, it has different needs. So do you. Your scrawny stray is now a pampered pet and a part of the household.
For months now you've emptied liter boxes, played with balls of yarn and catered to the cat's whims. Then one day at the mailbox, fishing out the latest issue of Cat Fancy, you remember your life before you noticed the stray. You reflect on how it's changed your life, how much time pet ownership has taken away from other activities. You briefly consider putting it up for adoption but quickly reconsider. In fact, you can scarcely do without your new companion. Your a pet owner now. Even though you didn't intend for this to happen, it did and you're kind of glad.
As dressers we can chose to keep a mangy, stinky cat on our lawn knowing it won't go away. Or we can make lemonade. Find a way to live with the animal and derive some satisfaction from the partnership with it.
One thing is for sure,
Either way that cat isn't budging so try and enjoy it's company. Far from insane, I think that's the best course of action, for both the owner and the cat.
Look at me, rambling on and on again. Thanks for reading, Seacrest out.
Well, I'm gonna have to vote for nuts.
I wonder all the time if I'm crazy. Sometimes I wonder out loud and people will ask me who I'm talking to.
I don't really want to tell them that I'm a CD who is just thinking out loud that I may be crazy, so I just look at them and say "I'm talking to my mother, like it's any business of yours". Then I pull my pants back up and walk away.
Some people are just so rude.
-Misty
Sherry-Stephanie,
Perhaps NUTS is the right word. There is no way in heaven or on earth that you will actually achieve what might seem to be a hidden goal--that is, to be a female, not just a woman. Female and woman are tossed around but to me they are 2 different things. Female is anatomical, woman has attributes associated with being an anatomical female, and no matter how hard one tries, it will simply never happen. So, one must be nuts to engage in it at all. That is not a derogatory comment.
Some cds say that they have a hidden-from -view female but thats anatomical and even surgery can't make it so.. A softer, feminine side--yeah, very possible.
Dressing is superficial and the joy-though real--does not a feminine woman make. If your wife wears a leather jacket, swears like the proverbial sargeant, she is still a female (by nature)and a woman (by nurture) and her take on existence is not going to be the same as yours.
Lots of talk about "feminine" side but I never see anyone define that or give examples (though with 30k+ threads it is no doubt been defined) other than loving to dress, shop etc. Couldn't one say the a doctor has a feminine side because he is a person who has empathy, takes care of other humans--in short he is a caring person , a trait that is ascribed to women?. And there probably are some doctors who are also cds!!!!! Go figure.
We all know our destination, the journey is what makes life interesting and some choose to travel in several guises. If the slings and arrows are worth the experience then that's probably all that is necessary. I think that you are asking 2 seperate questions each of which needs to be answered seperately.
So yes, you are nuts for wanting to do something that is physically impossible and not nuts for wanting to experience something that men don't normally get a chance to experience.
Mandrake out of water
People believe their decision making is based in objective, rational thinking. Despite our big brains and our ability to proceess information, humans are emotional creatures, and we genuinely make most decisions and pursue interests in life as a result of either who we believe ourselves to be OR who we want to be.
From the type of car we drive to the careers we take up to the mates we seek out, we strive to be some ideal of ourselves... Or, sometimes someone we're not.
So, we're all just a little "nuts". Some more than others. So, if the norm is to be nuts, is anyone really crazy anymore (besides the truly mentally ill)? We're just expressing ourselves. And, I'll continue to do that, not because it makes me happy, but because it's who I am.
What does bother me though is that, as others have already recognized, there is some risk to this. One could argue there is risk in a lot of activities. you can't climb a mountain or sail a boat or ride a bike without taking on risk. But, where I take a little issue with my own behavior is when it begins to control my life or affect my family. If I'm spending too much (more than is reasonable) or if I'm endangering my family's welfare in some way, I need to take a closer look at what I'm doing and alter my behavior. But, that applies to just about any intense pursuit.
I also think sometimes that some of the energy and money I put into dressing could really be better spent on doing something more meaningful. Like donate it to the poor, or spend my time and energy helping kids or building houses for the homeless. Again, that's who I want to be. Sometimes i am that person, too. Most times I'm not. Sometimes I am lucky enough to be a gurl. Most of the time, I'm not. Life is inherently unfair.
I haven't completely come to accept who I am because i simply didn't have the chance to be dressed for long enough to understand whats really going through my mind. but no, we are not nuts, we simply think we are because some of us pay to much attention at what the general public would say. i mean some people are narrow minded and ignorant and its something we have to accept in order to move forward on.:)
[SIZE="2"]Oh, I think we’re enlightened beings, in fact I’ve said that a few times on this site. Are we special in the Universe? It’s hard to say, from the vantage point of our still-evolving awareness and severely limited vision, but I know what you mean, so I’ll avoid any cosmological discussion. I know one thing – the truly enlightened beings of human history, I mean the ones that sacrificed their lives in an attempt to get an idea across, are the heroes (and heroines) of gender integration. Few see it that way, but I know better – this is an epiphany (little “e”) that dawned on me one day. I suppose you can either do it externally (get married), or internally. Do what? Bring the genders together -- wear them down by contact, mix-and-match personality traits, squeeze them until they bleed, forge a near-perfect union, subjugate one while the other dominates, whatever…Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie
In the case of the lonely, unmarried (by choice) crossdresser (yours truly:battingeyelashes:), the genders live together in a small cottage near the outskirts (pun intended) of town. They live together in wedded bliss, and rarely leave each other’s company, since they are truly happy together… [/SIZE]
The one thing that has always puzzled me is why my crossdressing is so intense, so pleasurable, so appealing, so necessary but for most of my peers, it is not. As a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite for them. What makes me different than most of my peers?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherry-Stephanie
If I am "enlightened", that means that most of my peers are "un-enlightened" and maybe someday they will be "enlightened" when they discover the joys of crossdressing. However, I don't think that is ever going to happen...
All I know is that I am "different" somehow...
Robyn P.
I think I am ....but is better than being dull and boring
My wife says that Tina is a high-maintenance girl! There is no way Tina would enjoy gardening since ruining her nails is just not acceptable! Tina doesn't have "old" clothes, and would never think of getting her hair (wig) overtly dirty. But look at all the rest:
I'm sure I don't have to list all we do to make our bodies "feminine-compatible", whether we intend to "pass" or not; all the reading we do about the illusion of being feminine; all the money we spend on "beauty" products, clothes, and shoes (and how many of us just obsess with shoes...Tina has more heels than my wife!); obviously we are sitting here reading and writing in this forum; and how much time have we all spent researching the way to handle makeup, and then practicing over and over; how often do we watch GGs to see what they are wearing and how they walk/move/talk; I just sat here filing my nails knowing I'll shape them again tomorrow and I'll need another coat of the matte finish I wear 24/7 to strenghten them; how many hours have I spoken with my wife about growing up a girl (not that that time has not been well-spent in the relationship!); not to mention the time we are actually en femme practicing all of it; and just how many catalogs do we maintain wish-lists in so that we can get the best prices and how long does that take (another Suddenly Femme catalog just arrived!!!)???
And we do all this and try to maintain otherwise "normal" lives??? After reading this, it seems to me that the only one's of us who are completely sane are those who have gone over to 24/7!
LOL...well, no one ever accused me of being completely rational!!! :):):)
Besides, we do really love our femme sides, let's face it, so sanity really doesn't come into play :)
tina
I'm unsure how to answer this...
I suppose I have done things to keep my secret,
or to be able to purchase something secretly, that might be considered "Off the wall"
I have never had the feeling that my crossdressing is wrong.
But, then again; Jeffrey Dahmer didn't think it was wrong to kill those men.
I try not to compare myself with others such as;
Bikers that choose to get full sleeve tattoos
Or the "Guido" clichés that insist on wearing gaudy jewelry, slicked hair, and well pressed clothes.
We are not better, or worse than any of the other stereotypical cliques out there.....
Simply different from them ...as they are to us.
There's two extremes to crossdressing...those who would find it absloutely unacceptable and anyone who was to do it is "nuts" and that is where the are we freakin nuts came into my title...I am mimicing what the "normal side of society" would refer to us as....and I followed it with the are we enlightened" comment because for us to get to where we are we need to go to great lengths to be able to come to acknowledgem that in fact we do have a female or femme side....and that takes a person who has a great deal of sensitivity and the ability to go within and discover this female side and not run scared at all hellp, but rather we embrace this and go forth and live with both sides of self....and in order to do that....I think one must be enlightened!!!!
There... the topic of this thread in fact is are we "nuts (by the general opinion or view of society) or are we enlightened" by the fact that we're able to reach and embrace our feminine side of self????
You've got it Sherry. This is what I mean when I say that CDing is just the tip of the iceberg. The real truth is not for the faint hearted my friend.:)
Amen Sis...Amen!!!!Quote:
..."The real truth is not for the faint hearted my friend". ...
OP you're asking questions about the nature of reality itself. :D
Nuts -vs- enlightened? Faith? Belief? Delusion?
I talk to my 'feminine side.' At times, she's a ghost who hovers just over my shoulder. Other times, she's a voice within. Sometimes, she possesses me and I realize she is me and I am her, and I can relate to others with her help.
Sometimes it's just me, and he's the ghost. Sometimes he remembers who is the real person and who is the unconscious process. Other times I give him just because he's needed by others in that form, yet it is always us.
She's all over the place, lots and of things and definitions, but the thing she is mostly, is real, and vital to life.
When she's not, if I think of her as a process or some 'thing' instead of herself, I'm in 'cold dead reality world,' which is no place to be. :sad:
Yeah, I'm freakin nuts.
Or am I? :devil:
Is MASS INSANITY more acceptable? :eek:
Sometimes it feels like it to me! When I'm on CD.com!:hugs:
The REST of the time, I guess I'm a vote for,
"self-deluded, happy nut"!:heehee:
crazy..over the rainbow...(s)he is crazy...surely gone fishing
I don't feel nuts compared to most people I meet but I'm sure they would think I am nuts if they ever saw me as who I would like to be.