I'm 42, a singleton, never been on a date in my life. And yep, still a virgin. Don't "self pleasure" either. I'm mostly resigned to solitude, though Valentines Day makes me feel like crap.
Veronica Rogers
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I'm 42, a singleton, never been on a date in my life. And yep, still a virgin. Don't "self pleasure" either. I'm mostly resigned to solitude, though Valentines Day makes me feel like crap.
Veronica Rogers
Even before I was dressing on a frequent basis I had trouble attracting women. All through high school I never had a girlfriend. In fact I didn't even have a real date until I was 19. That relationship lasted all of 2 weeks. I've had a couple brief encounters since then but nothing that ever panned out into a serious relationship. I'm 31 now and can count on one hand the number of women I've been with. It does bother me at times that I am still single. I have thought about banishing Kendra before but then I realized if I can't find a meaningful relationship as a guy and am stuck being single, I might as well be single dressed how I want to be dressed. I do hope to find a woman someday, hopefully while I'm still relatively young.
I need a CD soul mate. :battingeyelashes:
I'm a huge eHarmony booster.
My wife and I met there as have I think 8 other couples that are either family members or close friends.
So far all the marriages seem to be holding up so far. I highly recommend the service.
Kinda off subject and not based on reality. I think they have a pill for that.Quote:
Originally Posted by StarrOfDelite
Anyway, if you don't get out there and meet people, then you won't hook up. I've never tried to pick up women, but always had dates. If you're around enough women, or men for that matter, you will find that you and some of them gravitate toward each other. It's only natural. So, get out there. Join a club, start a hobby, etc. Doesn't matter what. Getting around people is the key.
Interesting, exactly how I feel and what I've been experiencing!Quote:
Originally Posted by girlalex
except im still very much attracted to girls, actually more complicated (in my opinion) im both very attracted to them and want to look like them?!
i guess i'm young too, but just the title of this thread scares me some
I was a real loner all through school and never even had any friends, much less a date, until I was over 21 years old. Things happened quickly after that and I met the woman who I've now been married to for almost 25 years.
But I think something from back then still effects my personality. Somehow deep inside I am still a loner and tend to withdraw when stressed and value time I can be alone over my time with anybody else.
Somehow, over all those years alone, it became my default position so even now that I've been married for so long it takes an effort sometimes to be part of a couple and not withdraw.
Who knows... if it hadn't been for that twist of fate (I'm still convinced that my wife is the ONLY person I've met in my entire life that I would ever have been happy with, so if I hadn't met her I'd still be single) I'd probably be in exactly your position. Would I be happier? No way of telling. Whenever I have my doubts, I tell myself that we always want what we don't or can't have, so my thoughts of a simpler life alone just stem from the fact that it is the opposite of what I have now.
Finally, I personally believe that it is never to late. The way I met my wife convinced me that you could be bemoaning your solo existence today, and planning your wedding 6 months from now. When it happens, it could come totally out of left field from a direction you never would have expected. And then.... 10 years from now you might be happily married, wondering how your life might have been better if you'd stayed single. :)
It makes me sad to read posts by people who don't want to be single, but are unable to find friends/mates/relationships etc. CDing/gender are not the only things which cause one not to relate to others. As a manager of people I have seen many who did not relate to others. Both men and women expressed loneliness yet didn't understand how to build relationships with people of the opposite sex or even their own as friends. Being hard to get along with, moody, and picky only inhibit choices of who you might be compatible with and will cause you to have to work harder.
If one wishes to be single there is nothing wrong with it, but if not then find what is causing you not to be able to relate. There are just too many people out there who are looking for companionship. You will not find a friend hiding in your home anymore than a salesman would find customers in his home. The only problem I see with CDing is that dressing takes a long time and tends to cause other things to be pushed aside. If you spend hours prepping everyday it does not leave time for other social activities.
Before I met my wife I dated a lot of girls. I loved girls and always wanted to date the new girl I met. I worked at it trying to figure ways to meet girls and make them want to go out with me. When I was in the service I had dates most weekends as did my roommate and friends. What was in common among us was the willingness to take the good with the bad. It did not bother me to be turned down for a date or for a second date. Yes, when I started dating, NO scared me, but I learned if I asked enough I would get a date. Being shy caused me to miss dates in the beginning. Then it dawned on me that if I never asked, I would never get the date anyway.
Most of the people I know who are in successful relationships know their partners faults, but choose to focus on the positives.
[SIZE="3"]Thanks for all the replies and sharing and advice! In my case, i have dated around 50 different gg's after age 27, mostly ones a lot older than me, and only one, that would have committed to me, but, she had two daughters, and I did not have the means to afford housing, and enough income to give them a decent life. It is MUCH tougher for men today, to be the sole provider, and 2/3 of college grads are women. For the first time in U.S. history, wives are out earning husbands! I heard this on radio news. As for me being lifetime single, I had several aunts and uncles who died single, and several friends, recently died never with a SO. None of my siblings are with SO, or married. The difficult, emotionally torturous way my family, and life has been, and still is, would have been way too over the top, for any lady to accept, or deal with. It may be a blessing, that i, and some others have stayed alone, as hard as that is to accept. I do have a few senior lady friends more senior than me. As a baby boomer, I almost never had women friends my own age. Veronica, I can relate. Good replies![/SIZE]
Before you can make any progress on having a successful relationship with someone else make sure that you have a successful relationship with yourself. This is the challenge of what we do. I was in two different marriages over the course of 30 years and both failed most likely because I never confronted my inner demons so that I could make peace with myself.
Now I am happy with who I am, I am accepting of my transgender self and I have no qualms stating what I want and need. I have finally crossed the first hurdle.
I have also learned that while being in a relationship is nice, I will never again allow the needs of a relationship be at the expense of being me. Now this does not mean that I cannot have meaningful discussion on and work through issues that come up, but I will never again delegate my happiness to someone else. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness and once we get that part and are committed to being true to ourselves then it becomes much easier to find someone to share your happiness with because now you know what it looks like.
Melissa
[SMelissa, You are right on! It has taken me 56 yrs to find this. Society has told us we are nearly worthless, unless we are in love, with a special someone. Truth is, that special someone can be a devil!IZE="3"][/SIZE]
31 and never been anything other than single. I've only ever had one second date.
I can't blame the CDing as it only really started last year.
long time single
My last marriage ended just before my sons 2nd birthday. He will be 21 in April. A little over 10 years ago, I got a job upgrade and my job was now 50 miles away. So I have been commuting 100 miles round trip 5 or 6 days a week for more then 10 years now. Needless to say, this is NOT good for the dating scene. I leave my house at 6:30 a.m. and don't get home until after 7 p.m. and have now been dateless for 9 years. After awhile, it just kind of slips your mind. I always hold out hope, but I also know, my winter hours can make my work day longer, as I work outdoors, and they have cost me alot of relationships. I just go with the flow now.
I've been married now for 7 years but before I met my wife I was single for 12 years. I didn't even kiss a woman on the lips during that time, never mind anything else. I mean to say, there was nothing happening at all. I used to hate Valentines Day and it was always a difficult reminder for me at family gatherings as everyone else was "two by two".
However, it all changed when I met my wife online on a crossdressing forum of all places! I am a total believer in "love will conquer all" and that "there's someone for everyone". The only problem is being patient and finding them. If it's meant to be it will happen and when it does you don't have to "do" anything, it just seems to naturally happen anyway. Good luck and stay optimistic. 56 is still relatively young this day and age, and with new 21st century drugs and whatnot who says you won't live until you're 100? If you do make it to that age, do you really think you're gonna stay single during the next 44 years? .... I highly doubt it! :hugs:
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Aubrey, I can relate. Years can fly by, without chances to meet. I wonder, at times, if we are better alone. Rachel, wow, I hope i don't live to be 100! My dad is 89, could make it, but, he is not at all happy, wants me, to go live with him, so he won't have to go to a nursing home, but, living with his controlling, and guilt trips, will drive me into toxic deep depression. He was always resentful, and jealous of me, because i am single, and he stayed in a bad marriage. Not very healthy! I always felt that if i was with a lovely lady, my dad and brothers would be very envious, severely jealous, so, i did not want to be better off, than my dad, so, i SABOTAGED my friendships with women!! Maybe after he dies, which could be a few years, I can finally feel free, to enjoy life more. Dysfunctional parent issues can sure mess up our lives, and relationships, help keep some of us single, or alone, and even damage good relationships, making it very hard to form healthy ones.
I'm 27, so I'm still kind of young, but I've never been on a date and I'm still a virgin. I have no problems with this. I've just never been interested in having a close companion, or soul mate, if you will. I can see how some people want that but I've never seen the appeal. For a long time, though, I was under the impression that I was "supposed" to find a mate. I hear from my Mom and some of my female friends that "the right girl will come along" all the time. But I've just never had the urge to share my life with another person. I'm perfectly content with hanging out with friends and family. That's all I really need.
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE] Trek, Yes! I have heard that saying, since i was a teen, and, now 56, still a virgin, too! "The right girl, will come around." A genetic girl nice school teacher single lady, i knew, died last week, of cancer, around 57. I guess the "right man never came along". I know of many people who died alone, and with no SO's. Maybe some had their "ship come in, but didn't meet it." Or, their "ship never came." Or, they, or me, never were meant to sail?