Maybe some mirror vs. camera help?
Helloooo, ladies...
Here's a question right up my alley! I've been a professional makeup artist for almost 20 years and in the last decade, I've performed portrait photography, mostly for artists in the music industry. Before I switched course and pursued a nursing degree, I worked as a graphic designer, doing more photo editing than one can shake a stick at. These days, I teach anatomy & physiology while I pursue my MSN, but I maintain and continue to professionally use my makeup/photo/graphics skills. I'm genetically female and stereotypically female, too.
I give all this background to let you know that I understand the 9,392 factors involved in image and portraying it, including: physical anatomy, cosmetics, styling, posture, cameras, lighting, image capture, and attitude. So here are some random, unordered observations based on that experience:
1. Cameras do, in fact, lie. They can see things human eyes do not. Yes, it's possible that your mirror image perception is based on imagination, but before jumping to the conclusion that this is so, consider other possibilities first. I'm assuming no one here is using professional lighting.
2. If your foundation or concealer contains physical SPF like zinc or titanium, the camera will tend to skew the color, usually for the lighter, even if you are not using a flash. For a host of reasons, I like using professional brands for CDs and MtFs, like Cinema Secrets, Make Up For Ever, or RCMA. The finish is less flat, more natural.
3. If you are photographing yourself and you are using a flash, this problem will be even worse, and this will tend to happen even without physical SPF. The flash will reflect off of any light pigments, any shinier spots on your face, anything that is closer to the camera, etc. Skin tones pretty much have no hope of looking even.
4. If you are lit from the back or from above or below, this will emphasize shadows in places where you probably do not wish to see shadows. If you have applied contour makeup, the camera and lighting will probably conspire to make some areas look gaunt and other areas look bloated. Again, this isn't how things actually look.
5. The best lighting is natural light, or at least enough nicely toned artificial light, from behind the camera. Lighting yourself well gives you a fighting chance at appearing as lovely as you actually do.
6. Back to the foundation and concealer. Use less makeup and more blending. I'll say it again: less makeup, more blending. If you need more coverage, apply several thin layers rather than one thick layer. This will always look better -- always! -- both in life and on camera.
7. Make sure the undertone of your makeup matches the undertone of your actual skin. This is something that is far more obvious on camera than in life, though it's fairly noticeable to others in life. Don't stop the makeup at some arbitrary point on your chin, either. Blend it into your hairline, onto your ears, down your neck. Go all the way down to the decollete depending on how you're dressing.
8. Use great lighting and a good mirror to do your makeup! This will help you to develop a critical eye. Flip frequently between magnifying and regular mirrors.
9. If you see a tinge of blue/grey color at the facial hair areas, consider using a salmon-toned "beard cover" before applying foundation. Don't cake on foundation or concealer to solve the problem; you need to neutralize, not pile on more skin-toned makeup.
10. One problem I notice a lot is that people go "makeup-happy" and go all-out with eyes AND cheeks AND lips. This doesn't photograph well. In life, it doesn't look so hot, but in photos, without benefit of an animated expression, it's even worse. Pick a feature and go with it. Use makeup on the rest, yes, but consider them supporting actors.
11. An eye makeup problem I've noticed frequently is that most eyes should not be lined all the way around. Try lining and shadowing the outer 2/3 of the eyelid only. This creates the illusion of wider-set eyes.
12. Resign yourself to taking 100 photos for each one you like. Just decide ahead of time that that's the way it is. Pro photographers throw away a lot of photos, too.
13. Keep in mind that a photo is a moment in time. It could be the moment you're blinking or the moment that you're changing position or a moment when you're feeling awkward. It's difficult to capture a dynamic personality in a photo. I find that animated faces are harder to photograph than others. Some of the most attractive people I know look really bad in most photos of them. This is why photographers are employable! ;)
14. When posing, to start: Try to look UP slightly at the camera. Lean TOWARD the camera and think about keeping your neck LONG. Pretend there's someone just behind and above the camera and you're telling him or her a sly, funny, wry story. See what happens to your expression.
15. If you feel stiff or awkward, jump up and down a few times and keep taking photos. You might be surprised.
Okay, I've written a novel!
I don't have the time or the space here to talk about application techniques or cosmetic formulations, but these are important. I'm going to hang out at crossdressers.com for a little while, so if you have specific questions, feel free to ask them.
-D