ok im still a chicken

Well, I for one take a very simple approach to this and break it down into easy steps. First, make yourself pretty and put on a nice looking outfit, make sure you are wearing a nice pair of heels, this is very important. Second, grab your pocketbook and make sure that everything you need is in it. Third, open the front door. Forth, place you right heel in front of your left heel. Fifth, now move your left heel in front of your right heel. Sixth, repeat steps four and five over and over again.

Guess what, you are walking outside and loving and enjoy it.

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Originally Posted by Paula_56

As transgendered people many of us lead lives of guilt, fear and shame. For years I was afraid to leave my home or hotel room out of fear. Until recently, I made the realization that there was nothing to be afraid of. Being transgendered or cross-dressing is not wrong. We are different, but the world can and does accept us. I use to scurry from hotel to car and walk around parking lots at night. Half hidden, half in sight. Now I walk right thru the lobby, take an elevator, and nobody cares. Sure I am read sometimes. This was the big obstacle I had to get over. When you’re read, nothing bad happens. People just go on with there business. Waitresses clerks, sales associates have never reacted badly they are a polite and accommodating.
I also use to fear shopping endrab. If you dress nicely, don’t act creepy or guilty, most sales people are really happy to help. I always smile and thank them. It’s more than most customers do. I tell them right off I need a pair of black slacks for myself, or I need a dress for an event I am attending. The first time I did this I was shaking, but after a couple of times I began to realize that no one else had a problem with this. The problem was in my head.
You may not want to be outed, to your family and friends but admitting you are a cross dresser to a sales associate in a store away from your home area is safe, liberating and a non issue.
So go ahead you have nothing to loose here, try getting out in small steps. Go to the cosmetics counter in the mall. Nordstrom’s is famous in the TG community for being super helpful; they will always make you feel good about your self. Other stores that have been helpful to me are Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Lord and Taylor, and Payless Shoes.
My message here is this, you can admit being transgendered to a sales associate and you will feel better for it. You can also go out in public dress as a woman and not get negative reactions. You may have heard this before, but if you are like me you never really believed it. Go ahead, don’t be afraid, take those steps, and start to live.

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Paula says nearly everything here.

Do try some intense Internet shopping, even if you have to get a post office service to collect and hold your packages.

At some point, you'll get far enough along you'll just start going out. Seriously, you'll get to the "Why the hell not?" point and you'll just go.

Makeup help can be had lots of places, including private tutoring. The people who do that service love a challenge - and making money.

Confidence is really about preparation, not just taking a leap into the unknown.

It's said, "Failing to plan is planning to fail."

So, make some plans; take the steps you feel you need to take - small steps are super; and see if you confidence doesn't improve.

"To succeed at anything, you usually have to DO SOMETHING."

Im still going out just in guy mode, so I have gotten creative. Thrift stores are good, but I like Wal Mart, as it is open all night. I go where I know I wont run into anyone I know. I may get stares, but I feel fairly safe.

I started out buying stuff on line. Once I learned my size's it got easier and more comfortable. Keep this in mind, shopkeepers have learned that if you make a CD comfortable you will have a loyal customer who will spend ALL crossdressing dollars at their store. They want you to come and shop. Who are you to deny them the joy of you? grin. Carol

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Originally Posted by alleycat2009

Yes im still a chicken to even go out and buy something to wear. How do I over come this?

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If it's any help, I'm in the same boat as you are.

Alleycat,

It's going to be OK--& I hope you'll relent jn your characterization of the great state of MIchigan.

Lily

I would agree that going to a store a little ways from where you live is a good idea. Also, I like to go early in the day during weekdays if possible. I find there are fewer people around to make you feel nervous at that time. If there is a SA there you can start with casual conversation (since there will be not many customers you can chat about weather, current events, whether they have any sales on, whatever) and after you feel a bit more comfortable you can ask advice about stuff that may look good on you. It will be embarrassing but I recommend asking to try stuff on as well (I always ask if it is ok with them because "I don't want to make you uncomfortable"). This will give them (and you) the opportunity to bring you more items that may work well with what you are looking at. ALWAYS be polite, friendly and courteous since many customers can be very dismissive and rude. The more polite and friendly you are the more likely they will be to want to help you and see you as a decent person rather than a weirdo. I have done a lot of customer service jobs and I would rather have someone who asks for something out of the norm or looks strange but is super nice to deal with than someone who is a jerk that wants the most common or easiest thing in the world. You will feel nervous and silly and embarrassed but that is how many people feel when learning any new skill. The more you do it and build relationships with the SA's the easier it will become. Just my thoughts.

I am still in your stage. Buying for your wife or sister works. I do order online and have made some size mistakes, especially being girly I always thought I was a smaller size then I really am.

Hi A C

Go to www.jcpenney/sizecharts.com to try to figure out what size you are.

Then you will have some idea what size to look for if you get
something that don't fit return it no problem.

Try JCPenneys K-Mart & Walmart* when shopping don't keep looking
around that's what draws attention to you just keep looking at the racks
for your size faishons.

Orchid

Kiss me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that one of the initial reasons behind starting the Internet was to enable cross-dressers to purchase clothing online instead of having to go out in public. :heehee:


ok...I could be wrong on that one

...but ya gotta' admit...it sounded pretty convincing, eh?:):thumbsup:

Another option is to order and pay online, then go to the store and pick up your order (which is already boxed up). Same applies to just ordering it and paying when you pick up the order. At the end of the day, all that matters to the store staff is ...money.

Remember, there is no such thing as CD "police"...(yet). :heehee:

I started at a thrift store. Shaking. Found a GORGEOUS red and black satin empire waist top and knew it was for me. Then I went shaking and shivering into the dressing room and tried it on. No one else flinched.

I know it's easy to say, but having been there, it's mostly in your head. At least inside the store. Start online maybe, I had success going to the thrift stores. After about 3 or 4 times I was relaxed enough to enjoy myself.

You won't spontaneously combust. Promise. :)

Unless you buy a velour tracksuit...

[QUOTE=eluuzion;2215555]Kiss me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that one of the initial reasons behind starting the Internet was to enable cross-dressers to purchase clothing online instead of having to go out in public. :heehee:
QUOTE]

Actually, it was to facilitate getting porn. That's the same reason they invented VCRs. We just got an unintended benefit.

join the crowd sweetie, im the same!!

My face feels like it is burning when I am shopping - I must blush like beetroot :o, so even when I am in drab it is probably obvious that I am buying for myself - but no-one has ever commented and I have never felt like I needed to justify myself. The more I think about it the worse it gets - just try to relax, being nervous will only make it seem worse. My finger nails are probably too long for a guy, and filed into shape too, so even if I did try to make up an excuse an SA's suspicions would most likely be confirmed when I paid.

Dunno if anyone else does this, I hope it doesn't make you feel paranoid and hold you back, but whilst I am browsing I try to spot other CD-ers.

Whenever I go to a store with intentions to buy something I will find the section I'm after and scope it out, see if any other women are there.. Now mind you when I go out to buy clothes I am in full male wear because I'm still deep in the closet, but I go to a store like Target or K-mart or what ever and maybe set my intentions for the security camera to look at two other sections not related at all to the intended.. If I know what I am after then it is easier to shop.. Panties, pantyhose/tights .... Whatever.. But sometimes I'll be after one thing and something else will distract me.. Sometimes it's the close out rack, and that can really change what I was going to get because instead of getting one skirt and top I might get two or more in the close out rack.. To me the best way to get over the fear of shopping in a store is to just do it.. And not worry because the check out people see hundreds of people a day.. They might think you are a cross dresser and why not think that but what does it matter?? They don't know you, unless of course they do, and they figure this size skirt will be returned by your wife/SO or there abouts..

Don't be. Be brave. Like Bianca said above go to Thrift store and if it fits great how many times I'd get a 14 and dam if it was to small so I spent 3-4 bucks. Drop it off in their return bin next week. But Kohl's is very reasonable for sales on Bras. Online is cool if your alone. Or if other people know about you ask them to help you. It's not a big deal. The sales people are out to makes sales not to question you. Good luck.

The two most terrifying times for a crossdresser are buying the first item of clothing and then actually wearing it in public.