It's time to stop with all the excuses

So many others telling how they feel.
Ok, not Ok, my way, your way, I wonder if my wife would let me crossdress again. Nope I asked her she said I will live as a woman forever. Gee I bet that gets some upset.
If a person needs to justify or wants to justify to themselves or others why they crossdress frankly I do not see the harm. If you don't that is good also. Remember each to there own. share our stories and help each not make it harder for each other. Isn't that what the forum is about. A laugh or two helps also. Now guys and girls ladies and men and children of all ages play nice.

An interesting thread . 2 things spring to my mind 1, we are all different and 2 there are lots of forms and stages of crossdressing . Where we are or where we fit in is probably got to do with where we are on or own private journeys .I for one know where I started but don't know my destination and along the way it's been fun,and an addiction ,and now after many years I realized it's who I am so it is part of my life . And it is still fun still an addiction and will always be a part of me.

The excuses become neccessary when the crossdressing begins to cause damage, either to oneself or those around us. It's a way of shifting blame.

Another thought: Several have stated that crossdressing harms no-one ... mmmm ... let's give that another thought ...
:daydreaming::sad:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shari

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.
I can't stop myself.
I have to express my feminine side.
Yada, yada, yada.

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With your ability to understand brain chemistry and the way it makes connections, I'm surprised that you cannot fathom there are people who are not CD, like you.

There are transsexuals who cannot live as the gender assigned to them at birth. You should do a little research, and in the meantime, try to be a tad more sensitive and respectful to other forum members.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shari

I was born this way.


The fact of the matter is that when you were 3 or 6 or even 12 and tried on your first item of women's clothing, your inspiration wasn't a sudden burst of a few synapses that linked together which in turn fired those neurons that put you under the uncontrollable spell of crossdressing.
Your brain at that time did not possess the cognitive processes necessary to have such an epiphany.

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Really and do you apply this to the TS women of this site? I hope not because if you do then you don't know what you are talking about. Being a TS is not about the clothes, it's how they feel inside. Oh and they do know from an early age who they are, so that blows your comment out of the water.

There is one thing that really makes me angry and that is someone who just has to stand and try and speak for everyone here, You can't because you don't know everyone's stories or what makes them tick. Why not speak about something you do know about....yourself.

As to this

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.

That is me to a [SIZE="4"]T[/SIZE]

It isn't the clothes, it is who I am inside, the person who never seems to fit in, tries hard to be the someone others want/need me to be. I have worked darn hard to be where I am today.....nuff said :sigh:

mini rant over

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shari

There is a continuing theme on this forum an it seems to have raised its head a lot recently.

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.
I can't stop myself.
I have to express my feminine side.
Yada, yada, yada.

The fact of the matter is that when I was 3 or 6 or even 12 and tried on my first item of women's clothing, my inspiration wasn't a sudden burst of a few synapses that linked together which in turn fired those neurons that put me under the uncontrollable spell of crossdressing.
My brain at that time did not possess the cognitive processes necessary to have such an epiphany.

Maybe Mom was very pretty and I wanted to look like her.
The forbidden fruit-I DID know I wasn't allowed but just had to try it.
I liked the softness and tactile response of the material. Wanted to know how it felt on me.
I wondered what it would feel like to have boobs.
I wondered what it would be like to be a girl instead of a boy.
Aliens made me do it.

It's very simple.
I LIKED IT.
It gave me pleasure and still does.
That's why I did it again and again and continue to do it.

No more excuses.

I love it and am too selfish to give it up.

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That makes more sense

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clayfish

Another thought: Several have stated that crossdressing harms no-one ... mmmm ... let's give that another thought ...

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Well, it depends on what kind of harm you actually mean? Emotional, physical etc? It doesn't 'harm' me in either terms, although sometimes it gets on my nerves, the 'drama' that comes with it... and there is always some drama on this board ;)

OK, If we have to blame something or someone for a reason we do this then I would like to blame Karen Hutton. ( Did you girls see that last avitar pic???) jeez....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Ohh please!!! Pleasure? More like torture. I do not do this because I enjoy it. I do this because I'm driven to do this. Most of the time I would so wish it would go away... I makes my life so much more complicated that it should be. I'd settle for one gender any day of the week. Either one. I'm not pickey! I'm really happy for you.. That you know why your doing this because I have no clue... Not that I care why either.... But its not for pleasure for sure!!

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Right on the mark Karren. Pleasure, right. I for one have lived with this for 50 plus years and it's been no joy ride in any sense of the word. It's been a life of pain, guilt, remorse and depression. So much for "pleasure". It HURTS all the time.

Kerry

Sorry but i can't agree to anything you have said :eek:

Maybe what you say can be applied to you But as for me that's not even close.

I make no excuses, But i will say i have no idea why i dress up fully,
-Maybe i just like being a girl some times
-Maybe i want to me a real girl
-Maybe there is something wrong with my brain "hell if i know"

Not trying to make any excuses at all I just really don't know, And i am trying to find myself so maybe one day i will know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tamara Croft

This part of your post made me really mad, because I don't think you have the right to speak about all members here in that tone, especially the TS women on this forum who do not need to own womens clothes to know who they are inside. Crossdressers maybe, but not TS women, maybe you should try learning about TS women instead of preaching what they did or did not feel when they were x years old :rolleyes: My sister is a TS woman and it isn't about the clothes for her, it never has been and if you knew her, you wouldn't come out with blanket statements like this, it's just rude!

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Thank you Tamara and all the other mods who spoke up before the TS girls could. How anyone can say how a person feels about themself without being them is absurd. Someone who is TS knows at a very early age, they may not know exactly what is wrong but that doesn't stop the knowledge. This is not only the F2M but also the M2F. Excuses be d*****ed. Reasons,desires,needs,enjoyment,pleasure this is what ties us all together. Crossdressing is what our lives normal in our eyes, not dressing makes it seem abnormal.

Danni

I don't believe that I have ever made any excuses for my crossdressing, I may have offered my opinion on a subject that is been talked about in a thread, I may have voiced my thoughts on a topic that is currently been debated on the forum, but I really can't recall a time when I have made an excuse for crossdressing and I hope that I never do. I make no excuse for my crossdressing as it is woven into who I am...it is not a life-style choice....it is ME...and always has been.

I am troubled by the last few lines of your post when you say "WE LIKED IT" and then "It gave us pleasure"....you almost make crossdressing sound like a seperate entity....well speaking ONLY for myself that is not the case.......there is no IT...once again....just ME......NO EXCUSES

Whatever....blah-de-blah-de-blah. Homina-homina-homina.......

Guilty as charged. I like it.

Discussions of this type seem to just reinforce my belief that most things in life are simply matters of Perception. The "spinning dancer" has always been my favorite reminder...

So, which way is she spinning in your world???

http://psychology.about.com/od/sensa...r-illusion.htm

:love:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clayfish

The excuses become neccessary when the crossdressing begins to cause damage, either to oneself or those around us. It's a way of shifting blame.

Another thought: Several have stated that crossdressing harms no-one ... mmmm ... let's give that another thought ...
:daydreaming::sad:

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For sure some people genuinely believe they were born this way but for others it can be used as a convenient reason to explain their behavior. It gives them a free pass and potentially a quick route to acceptance/toleration. I do think that internalized guilt is a major problem in the CD community which makes any easy expanation a likely choice to use to soothe the pain and also to gain sympathy and avoid the tricky problem of explaining your behavior in an uninformed and intollerant society.

Thanks, I've been trying to answer 'why' for the last 30 years, you just gave me the answer...