Hey Ria, totally know what you mean. I am by nature an extrovert. But to do Kaz I have to go "me time" and there is always this tension I have?
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Hey Ria, totally know what you mean. I am by nature an extrovert. But to do Kaz I have to go "me time" and there is always this tension I have?
I like being with people at my job, I love being with family and friends, but I also enjoy being alone. I do live alone but don't feel lonely. I really like hiking in the forest or mountains alone too. I am alone when I "dress" but a Tgirl friend is coming over in two weeks to hang out and it will be the first time I'm with someone as Donna.
Being single for life, i have been alone most of the time, except when with roommates, or renting rooms with others. Now that i have my own apartment, I have lots of time alone. My cats get lots of loving. I don't have the energy to get all dressed up every day, so it is like once a week. In this midwest cold weather now, i am wearing tights under my pants! As for XDR, it is good, but too hard to say. Maybe PW, for pantywaist! A bumpersticker PW!! It is true. We almost all wear panties! I can laugh at myself here!
XDR made me think of eXtreme Dynamic Range, a noise reduction technique for audio tapes. I am such a nerd!
I kinda like Virginia Prince's "FP", or femmiphile, though it sounds too much like "pedophile" I suppose.
Outside of work, I spend most of my time alone, and always have, and tend to naturally avoid other people. It is very hard for me to be social, especially as a male. Probably all those years growing up being abused, makes me want to isolate I suppose.
I think we all need our time alone, crossdresser or not. Reflection is a very common thing and people need time to reflect on their life. Sometimes it is just a breather, a break to replenish the soul. Life can't always be go, go, go.
I'm an only child, so I sure know how to handle "alone time".
But....
If I wanted to be alone, I would not have gotten married. I enjoy the company of my wife, no matter what gender I'm presenting.
Tina
Most cross-dressers don't want to be read and CDR is the abbreviation for CD Reader :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by juno
To go back to the original question, I do have a tendency to spend time alone, but that may be partly to do with having spent 10 years as a local councillor where everyone expects access to you 24/7
As a kid I was always the 5th wheel. If it was just me and one other person then things were fine but anymore and I was the 5th. Often times and even today, people's "second choice".
In good ol middle school, a time when our social development is at the most critical time, I remember being embarrased cause some prick decided to announce that I had been caught wearing hose. Well, after that day, for the rest of that school year, and a few months into the new year, I would hide around the corner away from everyone else at the bus stop. They finally did tell me, "Come on over here with us" and it wasn't bad but the fear of that incident being brought up again was always on my mind when I was around the rest of the kids.
I have had more than my fair share of rejection in life. I think one just gets conditioned to the point where being alone doesn't phase them much, if at all. I know it caused me some damage, cause sometimes in the past, just to hurt people's feelings (or at least try) I would say "Well after (whenever) you won't have to see or hear from me anymore".
The first part of this conditioning, during childhood, consists of "why don't the like me" or maybe "why don't they want to hang out with me?" or whatever and you sit alone and pout or even cry. But after a time, you just get so used to it that you quit caring for the most part.
I hate to say but anymore even when I do get invited to go to something or make new friends, I just don't feel like putting the effort.
As the youngest of ten, I didn't have much alone time during my childhood. To be alone, you made sure you locked the bathroom door. In fact, I was usually terrified to be in the house alone until I was a teenager. The house made too many noises even when no one else was around. Even now I don't feel comfortable walking somewhere I'm not used to alone. I do it at work as I'm on my own all day (phone repair guy, many different places everyday).
I do like my alone time at home though and look forward to those times.
XDR- its new and creative. I like it! I love my alone time yet I love time with others.
I've sometimes wondered if I'm a loner because of the XDR or if that's just different baggage. All in all, it seems like those of us who have felt different would have a tendency to distance ourselves from the majority pack that's different from our normal. Closeted sisters would seem to have reason to log lots of special alone time.
I love and need my alone time too and I'm a non-CDing GG.
But, I don't get antsy if there are people around and I haven't been alone for awhile. I know that eventually things will come to a natural close and I will get back to being alone.
I have to say that even as a GG I completely relate to the concept of having alone time.
For 3 years before my ex-husband & I separated we lived completely separate lives with the exception of the kids & 'pretending' for family & social functions. When those were over I couldn't wait to be alone.
Fast forward to the present & my cd boyfriend has moved in with myself & my kids. After having spent so much time alone, I miss it sometimes when I don't have any time at all just to myself. And yet, I miss him terribly when he's not around lol. Catch-22 I guess.
I think that a certain amount (it differs for one person to the next) of 'me' time is necessary for centering of one's self but also for introspection & sanity. We are inundated all day long with socializing, social media & media messages. I know myself at the end of a busy day at work where my mind has been going 100mph all day, all I really want is to come home & decompress before being 'needed' for something.
Hope that makes sense lol, ended up being longer than I'd planned!