Wife of almost 19 years. Knows, accepts to an acceptable degree for me. Does not participate.
Wife of almost 19 years. Knows, accepts to an acceptable degree for me. Does not participate.
#1, my SO is accepting, and we have made our compromsies to make life flow easier. She prefers to not shop with me, but knows to give me time in the store when I want it. Around the house I can do pretty well as much as I want. I underdress 24/7, and this doesn't interfere with anything, even with our love making, as I can wear what I want. The one excemption is that she doesn't want to see the bra, what she can't see until a shirt doesn't matter. They are all pretty small compromises that are easy to live with.
I'm luchy enough to go with #1. I told her about a year after we were married because I thought I could quit. Yeah, right! Anyway after the initial shock period of about a week, I was accepted. That was in 1986.
She knows but doesn't accept. We have been married for 26, she has known for 2. Keeping the secret was a big mistake. Access to a forum like this back then would have changed a whole lot.
Big #1
accepts, supports, encourages, participates
I've been married for 23 years. I told her before we were married. She seemed to tolerate, and even support my crossdressing for the first 20 years or so. Within the last couple of years, she has told me that she prefers to have Samantha around. I guess Samantha is more relaxed and fun to be around than "Sam". She even asks if Samantha is coming over for the weekend!
I realize I am truly blessed.
No you can't have her! :D
I've got a feeling she knows, not that I told her. She's not exactly accepting, nor throwing me to the curb. We've been married for 9 years. I've been hinting and the people at work apparently know and rumors have been spreading (again not that I told them). I think my crossdressing is my worst kept secret ever. I hope I'm right and she knows. The hints I've been throwing have been no-brainers, she'd have to be real dense not to know now, and she's not dense.
Ginger
My wife is very accepting. She was told by an ex friend that I am a crossdresser, alothough she figured it out after i dressed in front of her after 2 weeks and the comments on myspace pics of her skirts lol.
She buys me skirts and dresses and shirts and panties. I am very lucky.
we have been together for 15 years now and married for four she did not know when we first met was not for a few years later that i told her but any way she knows and does not want to be involved or see me dressed but she is ok with me buying my make up from avon and we also have a laugh and joke and some times dissus clothes and things so some kind of acceptance i guess
1: Accepts, supports and participates, even encourages and supports transition. Been married 13yrs, come out to her around Aug 2010...
My wife knows and accepts. She is very helpful, but she doesn't want to meet Lisa. She has shopped with me in drab, loaned me her anonymous car so I can go out shopping, given me nail polish that she doesn't use and other things. We have been married 35 years and she has known for about 16 years. I am very fortunate!!!
Hi Brandy,
#2 My wife of 47years tollerates it but it's a don't ask ** don't tell kinda thinggie
I know my boundries and I don't cross them.
I don't rock the boat because the Captian may make me walk the plank.
Orchid
Kathie is in a similar circumstance. Wife knows and even buys Kathie some clothes (it was a sale too good to pass up), but Kathie knows her boundaries and doesn't over step them. Our marriage is in its 45th year.
Married 37 years. Neither of us knew I was transgendered until 5 summers ago, and in a stunning week Tina suddenly appeared as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Since then we've been trying to find out who Tina is. My wife is rather fascinated by the duality and the closeness Tina has brought us is nothing short of amazing. Only last weekend, I needed to soak a sore shoulder. My wife said, "if it's Tina in the bath, remember I have those bath salts she might like"! mmm, I love her very much!
I'm in the #2 camp. I told my wife of almost 16 years when we were dating and she asked me to try to stop. As someone mentioned earlier in the thread, I thought my dressing was a curiosity that would be satiated by marriage. Well, I was wrong and looking back at my life up to that point and since, I should have known at the time that I was wrong. There have been a few insult laden conversations since that time which is very out of character for her because she is one of the nicest, most charitable and find the good in everything people that I know. She really is a great life partner in the mainstream sense. For many years the officially stated policy has been "I wish you wouldn't, but if you do I don't want to see it." The unfortunate part is that from her perspective, the sentence really ends at wouldn't. Even more unfortunate, she never really wants to discuss it for more than a couple of minutes and then she wants to bury the subject.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle Gee
Hang on and cherish her with all your might.
My wife and I just celebrated our 43nd anniversary on what will probably be her death bed (she has cancer).
She has known for probably thirty-five to forty of those years, and while she does not accept, she does not scream, rant or rave about it either.
I am going to miss her very much.
My wife is completely and absolutely against it. If there was a 10, it would be a 10.
Hard to say sometimes. She had an idea I think, right after we were married, but I was on active duty at the time and didn't dress much at all. More of a 'panties only' series of episodes, a comfort thing with me, a therapy if you will. I didn't know at the time that my subconcious mind had reached all the way back to my childhood when my Grandma dressed me as a little girl in panties, slip, dress and anklets with little Mary Jane shoes. My clothes were in the laundry so Grandma 'went for it'. Mom thought it was 'cute'. Somehow, I knew even then that it was 'right for me'. I felt at peace. That reaching back was what ultimately saved my life. I told my lady that it made me feel 'destressed', and at peace. She neither participated nor ignored Caitlyn since Caitlyn didn't exist at the time. Just a guy who was hurting alot and found comfort en femme.
Luckily, she never was angry or hostile about it. One day, after suffering from an old groin injury for a couple of years, she said I should try on some tight fitting panties and see if that would relieve some of the pain. Total relief. Since then, she's bought me panties, nightgowns, long slips, body shapers and nylons. I bought my own garter belt. I sleep in a nightgown and robe usually, wear panties daily and we sit in the living room (me dressed) and watch tv, hold hands, drink a glass of wine, etc. I like the etc. It's been 32 years to date.
My youngest daughter knows and thinks her dad is 'cool'. I guess that's about all I could ask for.
Now, for some of you who's SOs are NOT accepting, your avatar explains it. You look so good, there is just too much competition!
My wife and I have been married 30 years. I told her before we married. She was tolerant in the beginning. As the kids came along I dressed less and always alone. I stayed in the closet and kept my dressing to myself. I later began to travel some on business and got some Molly time in. As the kids grew up I dressed more at home but always by myself. I brought the subject up to her about 5 years ago and she was shocked to find out I still dressed. She wants no part of it but she is aware that it exists. She usually calls me before she comes home so I know when to expect her. (I'm not certain she calls to make sure I have time to change, but it works for me!). She knows I like to take an occasional "alone" trip and encourages me from time to time to go "unwind."
Molly
Together 27 years, married 24, she's known since our first year of marriage. She's been very accepting and encouraging from the beginning. I knew she was fascinated by drag and gay culture, so it wasn't too much of a worry for me to come out to her. Mostly, I had first had to admit to myself my desire to dress, after which coming out to her followed easily.
Even in the best of circumstances, dealing with being transgendered or being married to a TG is an adventure that we figure out as we go along, without many examples to guide us. For both of us it's been an ongoing journey of figuring out who we are. For her, it took her until her mid 20s to admit to herself her attraction to women, and until her early 30s to realize that she's pretty much *only* attracted to women and feel comfortable identifying herself as a lesbian. For me, it took me until about age 35 to get my head around feeling I was a MTF transexual rather than a male crossdresser. At this point we're both pretty comfortable in our own skins but there are still issues such as dealing with her very conservative family.
Full knowlage and aceptence from the start.
I was dresed as Sarah Palin when we met
Completely against it. I just came out to her a couple of months ago. She hates it. We almost separated this last weekend. Going to therapy and working on things. I feel like we are making progress in the right direction. I don't know what will eventually happen though. I keep hoping for the best.
I am one of those who (unfortunately) lacked the courage to tell all in the early stages of a developing relationship. I kept this important information from my wife for about 8 years before coming clean in late 2008. My wife now knows all about Tasha and my skirts and dresses hang freely next to my guy crap in our wardrobe.
My wife is OK with me CDing around the house (no hair or makeup) when it's just the two of us, and she knows I frequent the shopping malls as Tasha. CDing around the house when my wife is present is only a very recent development as up until very recently we had the good old DADT policy.
Acceptance is hard to judge though. My wife accepts that Tasha is a large part of who I am and will not just go away, but I would describe my wifes feelings as tolerance in a resigned kinda way.
Hope that answers the question.
Tash :)
Been married 20+ years and she has no clue. At least I think she has no clue. She's never even hinted and given my male persona, she'd not likely make this leap. I wish I could tell her. Just can't het the words out.
I would add another category 4: She found out, stopped but started again. Feeling in the back of my mind she knows i still dress but hasn't brought it up. That's my situation.