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Closed mindedness runs deep in the older generations. Both of my parents were great depression and WW2 children and my late mother was somewhat tolerant, but I wouldn't go so far as to say she was accepting. My late father was a bigots bigot and had no tolerence and very vocally had no tolerence for the gay/lesbian, bi, or transgendered.Quote:
Originally Posted by Xandria
I think it is all summed up in your own statement.
It used to bother me a lot with the way they treat me; and used to be nervous about their 'blackmail'. Now, I know it is an empty threat, because if she outs me, it would embarrass her; having a son in law that crossdresses. I just wish she would either do it, or drop it.
I don't think that anything will ever by said because it would bring shame upon her. Blackmail can work both ways.
I tend to agree with Gillian. Many years ago, I overheard my wife telling her sister that she'd found a number of pairs of high heeled pumps in size 8 1/2 (my size). Yes, they were mine - my wife takes a size 6, and never wears heels. I never heard more about it. Several times I've noticed my heels moved around a bit, so I know she's been into them. At one point she thought I was having an affair, and I told her I had bought them and they were mine. She dropped the subject. I know it would probably be better if things were completely resolved, but she seems content to just let it go by undiscussed. If she's accepting of my CD'ing but simply doesn't wish to discuss it.....well, I guess that's Ok...... for now..... until she wants to know more about it.
Cheers,
Linda
At the risk of being the Bad Witch of the east...I agree with Pythos.
They were kind to let you stay. Then you gave them the bullet to shoot you with.
The way you handle mean people is kill them with kindness. Don't live if to there bad image of you!
And no matter with the law says....if someone at work knows, somehow the wrong person at work with hear..then you will have an enemy there too!
Em
Whoa, they would threaten to tell your employers, make you run the risk of losing your job and thus not be able to support your kids? Awesome grandparenting skills! Very well thought out.
I told my MIL that I wore what I wanted when I wanted and if she didn't like it she could move out....and she did. I also told her I didn't marry her I married her daughter and that was the one thing she did right in her whole life. Funny she sends me emails now telling me how much she misses me
my In-Laws dont know I crossdress,but I am sure they would be ok with it (don't plan to test the theory tho) sounds like your mother in law lives up to the old 70s Mother in Law jokes
i take a different approach or thinking...
we need to help educate folks... asking then to accept us girls at face value is HUGE amount to ask.... keep in mind, what people see and are exposed to is quite sensationalized and often on the negative aspects of entertainment (e.g. reality tv... no pun intended here)... might I remind everyone of Jerry Springer... people only see 'hooker' like pictures of us, websites, something sexual, etc.... not all great points of view if that is what you are seeing and hearing. In some ways, we play a mockery to women at face value. So empathy may be a larger part of what we need to do and be thoughtful of where people are coming from.... too easy for us to judge as well
on another note, i think we will find that there is no such thing as privacy or secrecy any more as posted on the internet... including this response. Each of us should make sure you are protecting what identification and 'secrecy' you want to keep. Why make your situation worse than is needed less willing to face the consequences
lastly, an old adage that i once learn and i think still applies today... if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say at all. Its hard to know how people will interpret especially if they already have an 'issue' that they can pick on. Why fuel the fire.
Realize the above is not the answers that most would want to hear but i thought worth a different point of view....
I have family members (on my own side, not my wife's) that are particularly atrocious individuals. After years of inner struggle, I finally came to the conclusion that the only way for my self to be happy was to cut the connection to the toxic environment they presented. After cutting them out of my life permanently I was truly able to find my own happiness. Sometimes that is the only way. I don't think we can as people fundamentally change another person, and as long as they remain a part of your life, this will always be an issue. I wish you luck!