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Most women, when in this situation, wonder how much their husband could be hiding on top of the crossdressing. Also, she probably doesn't outright dislike it, but due to how she looks at you now, she has a hard time thinking that you could still be the same person you were before you told her.
Think of it like this, a popular singer, millions of albums sold, has won many awards and also donated a lot of time and money to charity. Men and women alike would admit that this person is a very good person. Okay, in the instance that the singer is a woman, and there are pictures leaked of her wearing her boyfriend/husband's shirts and/or pants, most people would think she's just being a girl. Flip that around though, a male popular singer who is highly thought of, with pictures leaked of him in a skirt or ladies shirt, more specifically, his girlfriend/wife's (or even his own) shirt or skit, starts to be thought of as a (for lack of a better term here) perverted fag or a queer in most people's eyes, despite the fact that he is the straightest guy ever.
It's part of the social double standard. Men are still seen as "above" women and a woman can playfully or seriously move "up" the ladder without being looked down upon, but a man is seen as violating his birthright if he even slightly wants to move down that same ladder.
Society sucks. That's it.
PS: Remember that y'all were in an argument. A lot of people say things in arguments to try and get the other party to shut up and admit fault. Or at least to throw a rod in their spikes.
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So an update: I called a couple of therapists and the cheapest so far was $125 an hour. I wish they would give discounts for people without insurance.
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Costly. Some therapists are no help at all. I talked to some who did not have a good background in CD or gender-related problems. The one that did...my wife refused to go again. Take a careful look at their website and credentials. Take a look a Psychology Today website and compare your candidate counselor with those from larger cities or San Francisco. Look for "sliding scale payment". Look for LBGT in "typical clients" and transgender in "Issues dealt with". Or...she can learn a lot from this very site, and particularly the FAB section.
Be patient--give her time to adjust.
