Question about overcoming the guilt

[SIZE=2]I'm with Stephanie and Dina on this one, I've never really ever felt guilty about it at all. I think it probably has something to do with my age, but I don't think there's really any reason to be guilty/ashamed about it. I guess I'm just speaking for myself here, but if you look at what society is tolerant of now as compared to 20-30-40 years ago (well at least most of society anyway) dressing up like a girl every now and then is pretty small beans.

I suppose that ambiguous, omnipresent "they" still has time to break me, but for me, I don't see why there should be any sort of feelings of guilt at all. [/SIZE]

Literature, participation in this forum, as well as having my crossdressing accepted and supported by my wife seems to have helped a LOT for me. Although I'm not "out" about my crossdressing to a lot of people, mostly because I have no particular reason to tell many people about it, and I still feel a little "shy" about my crossdressing, I have reached the point where I feel brave enough at this point to pretty much tackle anything, including going out in public crossdressed more often (if I can ever persuade my wife to let us go out again with me crossdressed that is). I've more or less adopted the attitude of living each day to its fullest and not letting idiosyncratic worries about the acceptance of other people (or the lack thereof) get in the way of doing something that brings me happiness. :p I've come to the realization that since I'm not doing illegal or immoral and it's certainly NOT harming anybody I've ultimately decided that there is simply NO reason for me to feel guilty about it. The book, "Out & about:The Emancipated Crossdresser" by Lacey Leigh (which I just recently bought and read) is also very inspiring and has done a lot to encourage me to feel good about my crossdressing.

While i was married and in the military i was suppressed from being my true self. I got out of the military after serving my time and 4 years later i was divorced.

Now that my two burdens are gone i can be who i am. (As long as my kids can't see me);)

I still won't go out in public dressed up though unless its to a TG meeting. I look to much like a male and i don't take kindly to ridicule.

Oh yeah...Guilt?...there never was any. I like who i am.
Fear of being caught/discovered? now there's another thread.

I can't say that I've ever felt extremely guilty or shameful. Did I want to tell family, friends and neighbors? No.

I knew it was different. But I think early on I recognized the escapist aspects of my dressing -- a way for a social misfit to get away from the unfriendliness of junior high/high school and to feel attractive and desirable.

I also had clear issues with gender roles, even though I never talked to anyone about them. But in college, I did check out the various "men's lib" literature before concluding none of it was really to my tastes. (Either whiny guys who'd bought into the idea that men were imperfect women, or mysoganicist defenses of patiarchy.) What I really was looking for sort of the equivalent of tomboyism, the ability to broaden my range of behavior -- being able to be tough and stylish. While I didn't think of it that way at the time, in retrospect my CDing was a solution.

Any doubts I might have had about CDing, were laid to rest a few years later, when in a a previous career as reporter I spent a couple years covering cops and courts. After seeing both the truly pathetic and truly psychotic, CDing paled in comparison. It was different -- but not illegal, immoral or fattening...

Hi Marla,

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Marla GG

Guilt and shame seem to be part of the baggage that so many crossdressers carry -- the inevitable result of a lifetime spent dealing with the fear of discovery and the burden of being "different" in a society that demands conformity.

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I have to 'me too' to this question as I think is a good one to ask and like many others I too have gone through the 'guilt' phase.

At the ripe old age of 57 with two grown up children, I can honestly say that I am very relaxed with what I am even though I am still very much in the closet.

I guess the main reason for my acceptance of myself is the support of my wife who has known about my femme side since the very early days of our marriage. Although she does not wear makeup or wear many of the clothes that we Tgirls seem to like, she helps me buy things when we are out and is very encouraging when 'Emma' makes an appearance.

The second reason was the discovery of forums like this one, the first of which I joined last October, which I have found to be a valuable source of advice and which provide me with an opportunity to 'get things of my chest' to a relatively understanding audience.

I suppose for me the biggest boost to my confidence was my wife's comment that' my dressing doesn't do anybody any harm and it gives her a partner who is more open, sensitive, loving and appreciative of her than many more macho men'. I certainly took that as a complement.

I am still fearful of being 'found out' especially by the children but as they live a distance away that risk is almost negligible so I am able to enjoy and relax.

I don't suppose I have added anything new here but sometimes indulging in a post/reply helps me to appreciate what I have.

Take care,

Emma

I have been investigating some of the Web for articles on guilt and cross dressing. As to why a person feels guilt after cross dressing.
Many people talk of feeling guilt in their lives. Why do we feel guilt of anything? Is it something others cause us to feel? They say things like, " Why Don't You Do This Or That". I hear this always, and so have you. To me they are trying to put us on a guilt trip. To make us conform to their standards. Are they being sensitive to us, and our feelings? Or is it us, that are being insensitive to them? By not conforming to the ways of others, are we the one that is wrong? In not doing what others think we should be doing, is that a sin or wrong? My ideas are not to be taken as etched in stone. Nor is any one else’s. To me this is your life. You have to make your own way in this world. Doing what is correct in your eyes, without guilt. You have only one chance at this life. Why should I live it as others would dictate? Even down to the clothes I should wear. Why should they have that kind of power over me? I am me, part male and part female. Transgendered is the term, a Cross Dresser. But you know what? I still am seeking a reason why. Why am I different? Why am I me? If that makes sense to anyone?

Do I feel guilt? Yes! When others I care of push it on me. Saying your sick. Or "Your in sin" etc.

My plan to get rid of guilt in my life.
1. Try to except myself and what I feel.
2. Get my loved ones to love me enough to except me as I am.

If you have any input please post your reply please.

Also thanks for this thred!!!!!!

Thanks!
Haley:)