Conformity – is it necessary?

Conformity is a slippery creature. Imagine three beautifully and fashionably dressed, gorgeous women walking down the street. One dresses fashionably (i.e. conforms to current modes of fashion) because she wants to be like everyone else. The second does so because she wants to camouflage her inherent weirdness and minimize social discomfort. The thirds does not give a damn what anyone thinks, but dresses the way she does because she wants to. Are all three conformists? They may appear so if we don't know what's in their hearts and minds, but I think intention is important.

I believe conformity has a strong biological component. The most conformist humans on the planet are teens; if they are not conforming to the "mainstream" they are conforming to others in whatever clique they belong to. Teens care very much what their peers think and do. This tendency gradually fades as we age. I have found a lot more nonconformists in the older age groups. And it's not that they are explicitly rebelling against conformity necessarily, they have simply found that life's too short to care much what other people think.

In the articulative perspective of the arteriosclerosis view of which fredrique and coherently verbalized her concerns of the semi-social molecular structure of just what conformity means to a population at large, I have come to the conclusion that carrying threads of a different biological sex is perhaps not acceptable to those who may have been raised in a conformist fundamentalist dwelling in which was accepted in the year that is the square root of 3515625.

So in other words, Fredrique, is there any way you could maybe shorten that and not talk like you are trying to impress everyone with your weird vocabulary?

At work, it's my job to conform. I represent the company I work for....not me. . That's how I pay the mortgage. I like my job, and I appreciate being well-liked.

Outside of that, I'm me...and I don't give a rat's a**

However, I've been one for a VERY LONG TIME! I'm even a nonconformist among other CD's!:brolleyes:

I'll tell u a few things that I've found out about them, and myself!:straightface:

True nonconformists may not really understand HOW or WHY others conform! I can't say I even understand what a real conformist is or does, SPECIFICALLY. And, I can't point to my friends and tell u which ones r or aren't!:eek:

And finally, being an OLD noncomformist, I believe if u r one, you'll get to the point where u say, "Quite frankly Charlotte, I really don't give a dam"!

[SIZE="2"]If it can be accomplished without group-thinking, group-ideology, or group expectations, so much the better, but is that possible? I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “You’re either with US, or with THEM,” right? That’s the insistent voice of conformity. Adherence to someone else’s ideal is a dangerous concept, wouldn’t you agree? My whole point with the OP was to state that conformity gives rise to nonconformity by its very existence – we need IT, but it doesn’t think it needs us. Some of us embrace conformity, even longing for it without question, while others need to turn away and seek their own nonconformist comforts. I believe that I can “operate in an orderly manner” without conformity dictating how it SHOULD be done...
:straightface: [/SIZE][/QUOTE]

I do believe that conformity can be accomplished without group think or group expectation - I do not think it is very common but it does occur. But the more people in the group, the more the group dynamics change to become the negative connotation we associate with conformity.

You mention "Adherence to someone else’s ideal is a dangerous concept" and I agree completely. But what if you are not adhering to someone else's ideal and instead it is a shared ideal? You have created a connection that from the outside can be viewed as conformity, especially as the group grows in size.

After reading all the posts to this thread I have not seen anything to make me change my base opinion: conformity is not the real issue or a problem. We all conform to some standard and are equally viewed as non conformist by those who hold another view. The real issue with conformity is when it is achieved or attempted to be achieved through negative means. Unfortunately this is the way conformity is typically achieved and so we all have a negative opinion of something that in and of itself is truly neutral.

Discarding one conformity, in this case male dress, for female dress is still conforming.. Conforming to societies views of how a woman dresses..
It is not a simple black and white.. Everyone conforms to that which they choose to.. And in saying that everyone also is non conforming to the things they reject..

Years/decades ago a woman wearing pants or heaven forbid smoking was non conforming, just unlady like.. :eek: Showing your underwear, ala Madonna with her bra on the outside?! :eek: etc..

To me conformity and morals are fluid and differ from person to person, age to age, thus meaningless..

I do not go to work and wear a uniform to conform, I do it to enable me to live how I see fit.. As someone who hated to 'conform' when younger it took me many years to learn this..

I..

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Originally Posted by Frédérique

[SIZE=2]Many of us balk at “playing by the rules,” a conformist notion to be sure, but that is not the topic here. Indeed, if we didn’t adhere to rules, we wouldn’t be having this (attempt at a) discussion, would we?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Yes, Marissa, it’s lonely at the top! I can just make you out, far below, walking aimlessly along a twisting path, if I use my radio telescope at maximum magnification. You COULD walk beside me if you stopped throwing stones at me, in fact you may actually like me if you would drop this pointless façade. Since you and Sandra seek to throw me off the mountain (hey, you began this metaphor), I can only offer a hug and a kiss, surrendering to your latent conformist bullying. Yes, it’s rather chilly way up here, but I can see the Sun coming up from my elevated position. Don’t forget – YOU put me here...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]BTW, you were not the inspiration for the OP, and I do not “point fingers” at people with words. If anything, I’m pointing a finger at myself and writing about it. I’m sorry if you are somehow intimidated by what I write, but more will be forthcoming. You can safely ignore me if you wish...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Oh, conformity is all around, even though crossdressing is inherently nonconformist. I see (or read) clashes between different “norms” of crossdressing all the time, to the point where I feel I should declare where I’m coming from in the body of a post – i.e. “I am THIS kind of crossdresser, so some of you won’t agree with what I write.” Doing that simple type of disclaimer beforehand would help to avoid the personal reproaches some members feel the need to include in a “serious” discussion of this nature (see above)...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]:straightface:[/SIZE]

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http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Marissa
Frederique: even though you apologized to Kim for her 'lecture', I find it rather humorous that you share her beliefs also. Even you conform to obtain what is desired or required and that was the point that Kim was stating. [SIZE=2]I’m amused that YOU’RE amused…:heehee:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]

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Originally Posted by Frédérique

However, it’s a bit of a stretch to say I share Kimberly’s “beliefs.” My words may constitute a compromise for the good of everyone concerned, or a roundabout way to mollify one’s feelings by displaying a little flexibility. Your response has inspired me to start a new thread about the underlying theme of conformity, but I think I’ll leave the relationship room and head back to the MtF area, where I'm more comfortable…

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[SIZE=3]Let me begin with apologizing to ALL on the numerous quotes above but it is necessary to explain this response.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Yes, Fredrique, you stated above from another thread that my response was the inspiration, but that is okay..we'll agree to accept that I am disillussioned :battingeyelashes:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Yes, I put you on that high mountain since you are the first person that I have known who stresses the non-comformity of all..besides, it was just an expression of words to give a picture but again, what was I thinking..like I'm an artist???..no, alas, I am not. I am merely a person who has traveled the world, seen both the beauty and ugly of various cultures, along with the acceptance and non-acceptance of each.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]So I find it funny that you see it as me casting stones when all I am doing is adding to the 'discussion'. Again, I apologize for providing my thoughts and beliefs...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I will give one final request, on the title of future threads, please state that you only want responses that agree to your thoughts and from only the names of the following: " insert names here ". [/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Intimidated by what you write???? no, sweetie, I'm not and I'm sorry if that will bust your bubbled thoughts of me... You will always write as you wish..that is your RIGHT..and in a website as this, its my RIGHT to give feedback or my thoughts in a respectful manner within the guidelines set. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Friends? who we kidding..we are carved of different stones..you are truly a diamond and I am just granite :D[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I will not ignore you..but I will concede from responding on your threads as I do not want others to witness a banter such as this. Best wishes and safe journeys as you seek out the answers of the world and beyond :battingeyelashes:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Hugs,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Marissa (an 8am - 5pm conformist) :devil:[/SIZE]