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I never told my mom, but I think she knew a long time ago.
She died before I had the nerve to come out completely to my spouse. I think were she alive today that I would tell her. She was a wonderful and very open lady and I think she would understand and support me.
Thank you again to all of you, well, I haven't made a decision yet, maybe I just will see this days how things are going, and maybe if we get a time alone with a really nice chat, maybe with one or two drinks, maybe I have the talk to her, I quite understand to all of you who think that is not a good idea to drop that bomb before moving out again, but I also get excited about all of you ho have tell your mums being grown ups and the good reaction that you have received, it would be nice to be that transparent to my mom, because as one of you said "this is the real me". And another reason for me to try to tell her, is that my mum has always told me since I was a kid "I would love that you talk more to me, that you share with me more of your stuff, or feelings, or worries, etc" because I have been always to close about sharing the things about my life with her, and with most of the people (what dont makes me proud).
Yes, I know what you mean about when a person is moving out and getting independent, since a lot of years ago I have been independent and the only responsible of my desitions, but that I am thinking about telling her or not is not because it could be a requirement, o as asking her permission, is just that know that I have been living again with her for some months maybe I could feel great about sharing that with her before moving out again. =o)Quote:
Originally Posted by eluuzion
Btw, thank you for telling my mum, so know I just need to ask her “hey, I know that you talked to eluuzion, what did she told you hehe”, unfortunately, you are not going to be able to call my dad because he passed away a long time ago =o(“
It’s exactly the same with me, I know I can hide it for her, maybe even forever, but as you say, that is not who I am.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danni Renee
Here I feel exactly the same as you, I am her only son (but in my case she don’t have any daughters either), and since my dad died, I also took the paper of the “man of the house” so maybe that’s why I’m a bit scared about she be wondering about my man hood, and eventhough I am 100% sure that she will support me, I am scared that she can never look at me as the same man, but as same as you I would really love to have the acceptance of me as I really am.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danni Renee
Its nice to know that I am not the only one at these dilemma.
My relationship with my mother was estranged most of the time (very long history of drugs and alcohol since my childhood). There was one time a few years back, I felt close enough to her to open up and share a very personal side of myself. Unfortunately the closeness I felt with her was short lived and nothing more than an illusion.
I thought I could have trusted her; boy was I wrong. While at her side while she was on her deathbed already in a coma from kidney & liver failure, I got into a disagreement with my brother and it came out that she had told of my secret. I hope that B@!#H is enjoying her eternal afterlife in hell.
I told my mom (and dad) when I was 28, shortly after going out for the first time and while still enveloped in the "pink fog". I had moved out of the house six years before, BTW. My mother was not shocked, having seen little clues over the years, but my father was. Unfortunately, I feel telling them has damaged our relationship. While my mom initially expressed her love and support of me no matter what, it soon became clear that she and dad did not want to know about or see any sign of my feminine side. They are deathly afraid of what others will think. When I began growing my hair long they freaked out, when they saw I was shaving my legs they freaked out, etc. So we're currently in a don't ask/don't tell situation, and I don't really feel I can trust them so much anymore. It's a sad situation. I would be careful about telling your mother and consider what her probable reaction will be; once you tell her you can't take it back.
I never told my mother or my step-mother but she knew... It was her insistence I was supposed to have been a girl that sent me down this path ..... She never caught me but she did catch my younger brother. And I borrowed so many of her things over the years and from some boarders we had... She confronted me about some missing bras a fee times and of coarse I denied it.
My mom and dad found my sister's clothes I had hidden in my room a couple of times. They were a little upset and asked me to give them back. They blew it off as a kid going through puberty and being curios. they have both past away, Dad - 15 years ago and mom 4 years. I didn't come out till 2 years ago so Never had the chance to tell them.
I'm 67, mom is 92, I've never felt there was any reason, knowing would not improve her life, and since I have no reason to want to dress around her, I see no reason to tell her. By the time I figured it all out, I was out on my own, and have a wife, if I need to talk to someone.
Tina B.
My Mom found my stash several times and the last time outed me to the entire family. Needless to say I could never talk to my Mom about it.
Hi naye, just bumped into your thread - I wonder how your feelings are developing.
I'm 45 and my Mom is over 70 - Dad is another 10 years older.
Mom (accompanied by my niece) visited me in Germany before Easter.
I thought a little about telling her.
Danielle said it all for me:
I started "borrowing" from my Mom and both elder sisters in my late teens.Quote:
Originally Posted by Danni Renee
I'm fairly curious now to know if they had noticed.
I'd love to know (but try not to need to know) about lots of things which did and didn't happen for me as a kid.
While Mom was here, I didn't need to force a conversation on a topic which I've only just begun confronting myself.
But I wouldn't have shyed away from it if an opportunity had arisen.
That's progress for me, as I see it.
As far as my twenty-year-old niece is concerned... I'm just a nice, if somewhat eccentric uncle.
I'm sure she wouldn't care less - probably have a good laugh and tell everybody at home.
That wouldn't bother me at all either!
My niece's mother (my eldest sister) visited the following week after my Mom went home!
Now this is interesting... at least for me it is.
She is best friends with my former SO and stayed at her place.
(Nice bit of patchworking there:))
My former SO found my cding strange to say the least when I told her last Summer.
I outed to my sister shortly before she left for the airport.
She tossed it off - she's happy for me that I can do what I want. And I should, so she said.
I haven't spoken to my sister since.
I do wonder if the information has played on her mind.
Does she now see some "events" in our childhood differently?
Or hasn't she given my cding a second thought?
It's nice looking back, naye, trying to sort out my own and the family history.
The bottom line is that it's not really important for any of us though.
We have little to do with one another in everyday life.
Of course, we all wish each other well.
The main thing is that we're healthy and able to live our lives to the full.
Gaby
My mom passed in 1994 of cancer and I never told her, being from a strict,southern,conservative background. But she wondered why her underwear was under MY bed. She knew.
I told my mother a few months ago and she still thinks this will go away.
well my family and others found out from my ex, she had to tell every body we knew. trying to hurt me.
but my mom found out when i was about thirty and now i am 50 we have a beautiful friendship, she says she gained a daughter and still has her son.
.
I never told my mother, and she passed away in 1973. I used to sneak her panties, girdles, nylons and slips to try on, but if she noticed, she never said a word. One time she found a panty girdle I had bought for myself in my room...she thought it was a "souvenier" from some girl...nothing else was ever said.
Mothers just know things like this.......
My mom knows because I'd take a few things and try to hide them. They'd always go back to her dresser, but she'd never bring it up. At a young age, my grandparents knew and encouraged me though.
Recently my dad had a mild breakdown and it came out he was a crossdresser. It sounded like a good time to tell her. She thanked me because it made her feel less alone with the issue. We do not talk about it, but I did wear flip flops and show off my painted toe nails last time I was at their house and nothing was said.
Why does your Mom need to know a/b your private life? Do you feel strongly a/b letting her know a/b it? Just love your Mom and let her love you. Why put up a barrier? Love your Mom and let it go. Why does your Mom need to know you where makeup or like to play with boys? Is it really that important for your psyche?
l
i tried to tell my mother that i crossdress. but when i brought up the subject of me dressing she got mad. she found a stash i had a few years back and she was mad about it. and i brought that up when i tried telling her and she nearly threw me out of the house. then she recently found another stash i had but she hasn't said anything yet
a little background.
My parents divorced when I was about 5, I have one sister, parents don't talk.
Last year I told my mom on the phone that I used to borrower her clothes when I was a teen, here was our conversation:
Do you still struggle with it?
Yes.
Does your wife know?
No.
Do you talk to anybody about it?
No.
An that was the extent of our conversation, that was the last that was said about it. But next week when my dad called he started adding gay slurs that I had never heard from him before and he asked me what I thought of "queers". When we wrapped up our conversation he refused to respond when I told him I love him.
I'm figuring my mom told my sister who in turn told my dad.
I haven't returned my moms calls, since I told her.
I told my mom several months ago. I'm 42. She wishes I didn't tell her, but only because she says she now has something to worry about with me. She has offered advice, and to be my confidant when I need one. I told my father last year, we shared tears. He told me "...I don't care, you're still the same man I knew before you told me..." or something to that effect. However, we haven't discussed it much since. I think he is uncomfortable with discussing it. Should I have told them? Absolutely, they are my parents and there is no blame to be laid for being who or what I am. I was just born this way. I only wish I told them much earlier. I could have been spared being alone in my torment and got the help I clearly needed. As it was, I suffered in silence and had to learn to deal with my guilt, shame, and self loathing on my own. It was a terrible was to grow up.
Ginger
My mommy caught me dressed when I was a teenager. I got quite the scolding. Tho we have never spoken of it since, I think she suspects I still dress sometimes.
I was busted when I was 12; my mother went ballistic and stormed off. My father had a bit of a talk with me afterwards and I lied to him about my gender identity so as to get my folks off my back. They're extremely intolerant, so I don't think I'm ever going to tell them. If they haven't figured it out after the hints that I've left (dispensing fashion advice, looking too long at dresses, mysterious soft packages in the mail when I'm home during the summer...), then they never will!
-Amelia
My mother might have contributed somewhat to my CDing. That I eventually became a CD shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. When she did discover me at the age of fifteen wearing my sister's clothes she became ballistic. I could never figure that out.