How many are close with their mother and/or not close to their father?

Always been closer to my mother more so since my parents divorced when i was 15, Relationship with my father was always strained at best and after the divorce we are rarely in contact and he is emotionally distant when we do meet.

Closer to Dad. I cut off all communications with Mom about 5 years before she died of cancer. I spoke at her funeral out of consideration to Dad, but I did not shed a tear.

I was so much closer to my Mother as well. It seems that the mojority of us were closer to our Mothers. I loved my Father too, but he was always at work. My Mother passed away back in Jan, 2008. I miss her everyday of my life. My loss of her had been the single most devistating event in my life. I think of her everyday.

My dad was a distant, workaholic, Type A personality who wasn't around much and definitely didn't hold his family life as a top priority. He was much more obsessed with his job and outside friends and interests, and I was seldom a part of that. Although not outright abusive, he had a quick temper and never really seemed to be in a good mood. I saw him mostly at meal times and only occasionally on the weekends. He died when I was 18, and that was actually a boon for Mom and me. I was also very close to my maternal grandmother and her second husband, who were in many respects my true parents, along with Mom. Grandpa Myers (there was no question he was my grandfather, despite not being related by blood) was my primary male role model while growing up -- he was a kind, gentle, generous man without a trace of macho insecurities, not afraid to hug or cry or exhibit true compassion. But my grandparents both passed when I was 14 - 15 years old. Mom and I remained very close, and in fact, I never moved out of the house with her until she died about six years ago when I was 48.

So yes, I was much closer to my mom. She knew about Diane but preferred that we keep it on a DADT basis at home, even though she had encouraged my gender non-conformance some in my pre-teen years.

- Diane

My father left my mother and I when I was still being conceived and my mother left me when I was five years old and paved the way for me to move here to the United States. My immediate family was comprised of mostly women, so I really had no father figure to speak of and was constantly chided by my grand aunt after most of my immediate family followed my mother to the United States. So I suppose in that criteria, I'm closer to my mother than my dad.

Unfair question in my case. Dad died at 44 when I was 15 mom died at 80 when I was 55. You figure which one I was closer to simply by having time to grow close.

I am very close to my mother. She is my best friend. I don't see my dad a lot so I am not as close.

Well, I have been an equal opportunity son.:D
I am just as close to one as the other.:thumbsup:
Still!:D

I was actually closer to my dad, still am really. It all stems from matters I won't get into here but my mum and I did NOT get on when I was growing up, something my sister didn't help. My dad was my sounding board, my friend and the one person I could count on to always be there for me. My parents divorced when I was seven years old and during the next four years until I moved in with my dad I came very close to hating my mum. As a child I didnt' unterstand those feelings because she was my mother but looking back at it with the benefit of my 28 years I can recognize what was happening. We still didn't get on during my teenage years and well into my early twenties. However, I moved from London to the coast with my SO 3 1/2 years ago and since then mum and I have become very close. She as also changed a lot and recognizes now what she was like back then. In fact she is coming down for a week next weekend and I'm looking forward to it!

Hi,

I was Born 1947 only just, .

Mums second marrage, first husband drowned some 83 years ago, one 1 / 2 brother came from that,

Mum & i seperated 59 years ago, from was my father,& he was married before & so another 1 / 2 brother, no contact , so no father, Mum passed away 37 years ago father 14 years ago,

Mum & i lived to gether for 24 years, till she passed on ,& it was one week of ...HELL...for me , just before she passed away , we Jos & i were married so Mum was there for that & stayed with us, for just over 3 months,

I was very close to Mum & i cared for her as well, tho i wish id been able to have been closer with her.

Mum had been through a lot & would have been murdered by my father, strangled, rage temper violence, some thing im very awere of & how it effected me. We did have my grandfather & grandmother stay with us for over 7 years, in my early years,

...noeleena...

My great late mom and I were very close. She had divorced when I was about 6 months old so it was just the two of us.

Luckily she was pretty much a "girly girl" and I discovered her feminine finery at a very young age.

She did catch me once when I was 16 and instead of coming clean, I just decided to say I won't do it anymore and her finding me all dolled up was never mentioned again. I mean like it never happened.

Unfortunately, I lost my mom back in 1997 and as I think back, if I had only had been able to get through the embarrassment and be honest with her, who knows how my life would have been. Definitely better than it is now.

This thread made me think. My dad died in an accident when I was 10. I had 2 older brothers and a younger sister and my mom was pregnant with my younger brother when my dad died. So I was a middle child. My Mom was everyone of my friend's adopted mom. Everyone loved her. She worked hard to raise 5 kids on social security and her job. We somehow scraped by. Then when I was 16, she was killed in and accident. But I know when it came to important family matters my mom came to me before either older brother. I felt I was closer to her then them and also my opinion or trust was more important to her then that of either older brother. It's hard to remember my relationship with my dad since her died when I was that young. It was my mom that had to have that talk with me about the birds and the bees. She always let me make choices between right and wrong about where I'd go, where I went, or who I hung around with. So I always respected her for not not just restricting me, but let me make the choices with her guidance of what was right or wrong for me. I often wondered what she would have said if I let her know I enjoyed wearing female clothes back then. I strongly suspect she would have been supportive and non-judgmental. I never knew her to hate anyone or anything. I give her credit for my having a strong sense of being a good person and knowing how to be accepting and compassionate to other's lifestyles. I like to think I am somewhat like her emotionally.
So yes, I felt close to her and as for my dad, I don't remember enough about him other then some really great times out fishing in his boat and our sharing in a family sport of archery. But I don't remember him to ever hug me. He seemed to be a man's man and not show much emotion....unlike me.

I would say your assumption is generally correct judging from my own experience.

My mother and I were very close. I was also the first born and without going into detail, I honestly think that in many ways, I was the daughter she never had

I tried very hard in my early years to identify with my dad, but he was an alcoholic who was prone to depression and had serious anger management issues. He was also a workaholic, and spent a lot of time away from the house. When he was home, he was drinking, and when he drank he would brood until he got angry enough to pick a fight with mom, or he would pick a fight with my older sister, and then mom would step into it to protect her.

It wasn't until I was about 12 that we started to spend a lot of time together. He started taking me to work with him, and then we also hunted, collected black powder guns, and fished. Even though I gained a deeper understanding and appreciation of him from that, I never wanted to be like him. I always had a greater admiration for my mom's patience, cheerfulness, and unequivocal expressions of love. Dad had a short fuse, and no tolerance for the least sign of ineptness. I was constantly striving to please him, and always felt like I came up short. Ironically, he says now that his father was that way with him. Looking back, I can see that he tried to do better, but he was a captive of his own demons.

Mom was a rock of stability, a refuge. I was so hard on myself, though, so determined to be a man, that I wouldn't let her stand between me and my dad. She and I were close, but not as close as we could have been if I hadn't been so stubborn about trying to live up to his expectations.

Wow. Not really pleasant to dredge all that up again. :sad:

I was way closer with my mom, although i was close with my dad too.

!5 months ago, I had to move 2000 miles back to my estranged fathers place. My mom is 91 in a nursing home with severe Alzheimers. She always wanted me close, and not to leave home. My dad is alcoholic, howbeit, now a dry one, with no tolerance for pressure or channge. I knew it would be the hardest thing in my life, to come back to him.He is going on 91. He fought with my mom, drunk, countoless times when i was little, and i think he is a tyrant in some waqys. I wanted to kill him, many times. I still pray, that he rest in peace soon, and it appearws he will soon. He is a 20 yr old emotionally! Yet, i am trying to be understanding, and compassionate to him, despite he does not respect a word a I say. My parents will soon be gone, and i have plenty of issues with them, but, i know i am the fault in a lot of it, too. They did not know any better. My older twin brothers are in prison, and my only sister has a rare disease, and cannot speak . I often say my family has curses, maybe generational curses. We did not marry and reproduce, either. Extremely unadvisable for my parents to marry and have such dysfunctional offspring, whos lives have been tormented. When dressed up, I do resemble my mother a lot. Great thread!!

Super close with both of my parents youngest of four and had health problems when I was young,raised on a farm with both parents working it was a great way to grow up,mom and dad always there. I have never come out to my family but I have always felt that mom knows ,I learned to cook and sew growing up as well as milk cows fix equipment and clean stalls.

Well Brassy, I knew I would have to face this day eventually. After all of those years of hiding and not revealing what I so desperately wanted to express openly. But I felt doing so would place those around me at risk of living a life of isolation too. I know now that today is that day.

To answer your question...No I was not close to my father, but I was close with YOUR MOTHER...

Son, I hope from this day forward, you will start calling me DAD, because that is who I am... :o

Oh, and as long as we are being honest...remember when you were little and everybody would always tell you that you and your best friend Al Coholic across the street could pass for twins?hehehehhehhhehe:D


Ok now for the real story.
My father was emotionally vacant, abusively critical and controlling. He never once gave me a hug or support, or said “I love You”. My mother divorced him when she was 80!! He died a year later of cancer. I intentionally missed my flight back to the Midwest to attend his funeral. Mother was the exact opposite. Always supportive and still trying to compensate and apologize for not having the guts to divorce him sooner. She is 84 now and still lucid, travels a lot and has her own FaceBook page, which my daughter thinks is awesome...

:love:

My mother and I were very close.

I grew up feeling closer to my mother for sure! All of my memories include my mother and her sister as well as her three daughters, Now as for my dad he was there just in the background with his drinking buddies. Definately did not want to be like him as he was violent and a drunk but he did do great house repairs. (usually after he tore it apart in a drunken rage)
My mother past away nearly 7 years ago this month and its been about 6 1/2 years since I have had any contact with the man who was around me during childhood.
I met my biological father when I was 29 yrs old, its amazing how similiar we are. I would like to get closer to him but I would like to be real and tell him about Keri, if he accepted that side of me then I would probably spend more time with that side of my family.

I was close to my mother when I was very young, and actually disliked my father. Mom was supportive of me crossdressing occasionally when I was younger (up to maybe 10 or 11), but distanced herself from me as I got older, so as I got older I wasn't close to either parent.

Carol

I was never close to any of them. Dad worked all the time, mom was self absorbed, sis hated me. Hence, I was susceptible to the friendly child molester down the street.

Although I love my mother I was always closer to my father. Our personalities are so much alike. My mother never was happy with anything while growing up and was always complaining to my father about why she could not have certain things. Dad has long since passed and my mother still is complaining. So I miss my dad, he put up with a lot of CRAP!

I was closer with my mother while growing up but I can't think of any of my friends where it was any different. That was in the 1950's and every kid I knew had a stay at home mom and a father who was working his butt off making ends meet. My father worked rotating shifts and a second job. He was also the disciplinarian of the family so his role put him at a disadvantage when it came to likability with my mother. I got closer with my father as I got older and I miss both he and my mother equally.