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Oh yea, I would love to have another "person" like me to talk to and relate to. It is really lonely being as I am. I hope someday i have the courage to reach out in real life. This forum is wonderful, but it can't replace real live interaction, (not intercourse). Maybe someday ...
My first goal when I started dressing was to go out into the real world eat in places that I would eat in as a male, go to theaters, clubs, museums, whatever. I realized that the best way to do that was with a fellow CD friend (or more). So, what has worked for me is to try to meet others either locally or who may travel to your area for work or play. I have met several very close friends from this site and others. From those friends I continue to network with them and others to enlarge my circle of "T" friends. It has worked wonderfully for me, but it took and continues to take a lot of effort on my part. Unfortunately, most of my best friends are travelers coming to my area occasionally. With all the personal logistic problems when trying to meet, you will need a lot of friends. If you have local CD's, then try to meet with as many as possible until you find one or more that more or less compliments your personality and personal preferences. You just need to take the first steps and filter out the ones that do not meet your needs. Good luck and welcome to the forum.
I would be interested in meeting other CD/TG or even GG for friends only where we could get together and talk or go shopping together. Like you, Nesreen, the only "group" I have found in my state is looking for sex only. I'm not a CD because I want sex. I'm a CD because I feel that is what I need to do and feel comfortable dressing this way. I have a great GG girlfriend for any bedroom activites I need and to her it doesn't matter if I'm Leannne or my male self.
BTW, no one has mentioned it to you yet so GG means Genetically Born Girl.
-- Leanne
I can't say strongly enough how terrific it is to meet others like ourselves face-to-face!
I'm lucky enough to have a TG group in my town. I met some of these girls on this forum and after tons of verbal handholding and encouragement, I was able to dress, get in my car in broad daylight, and drive across town to one of their events. It was scary and I was afraid that as nice as these women were on-line, maybe they would be different in real life. Maybe they would be mean, weird, creepy, etc., meaning that I REALLY was alone! Well, they were some of the nicest people I have ever met! Not nice TG's but nice people, PERIOD! I had never walked into a new group of people in any circumstance (social, business, etc.) where they were as welcoming and friendly as these women were. They are like sisters to me and I mean that!
I understand that some of us reach a level of comfort where we no longer need to meet with TG-specific groups. They just dress and go out on our own without the need for the camaraderie of other transwomen. I understand that but for me, even if I reach that point I will never forget the kindness shown me and will always want to be friends with other TG women.
If you have a group anywhere near you - check them out. My group, the River City Gems, has a drab meeting once a month and I assume other groups do to. If you are not comfortable going out dressed then you can simply meet some friends for lunch in guy-mode. It is a real comfort to have friends that "get" it!
Good Luck!
Debby
I have friends and belong to groups that are TG centered or accepting. I have been out with them and have had a great time in many different venues. I also have GG friends who know about Nikki and have gone out with them also.
In the begining CD or TG friends make it easier to go out, but once you get used to going out, I found that I just enjoy going out with friends no matter who they are,
I've finally found a cd friend. We'll be hanging out within the next couple of weeks if all goes to plan. I can't wait, I'm pathetically lonely :(
These days there isn't as much need. Back in my teens and twenties, I would have given ANTHING to meet other cross-dressers. I really thought I was one of a kind, that no other boys or men felt the way I did. When I met my first drag queen, I was 18 years old, and I wanted to talk to her and ask her questions and find out if she would help me look as beautiful as she did, but she didn't want anything to do with me (I was too young for sex and liked girls).
Talking with other cross-dressers, transsexuals, and transgendered men and women online was huge. It was like I was no longer alone in the world.
I was aa year later, bout 32 when I finally went to a meeting of cross-dressers. Most of the girls were not passible at all, and even the few that were visibly appealing, were given away by their voices. These were strictly cross-dressers, no pre-op or post-op transsexuals.
Finally, about 1992, I finally went to a club where there were transsexuals as well as transvestites. Here there were several girls who were quite beautiful, dressed very well, and even spoke like women. There were couple I would have dated, even though I knew they were pre-op. As long as I could be a girl too. I had learned all I knew from GGs and had learned make-up, posture, walk, sitting, manners, and speaking - from women. But there were things these girls could teach me, especially how it was going through the transition. I learned about electrolysis, who did it, how much it cost, and where to find a therapist in my area and where to get HRT.
It was only when my wife told me that the school social worker was willing to send a letter to the court requiring supervised visitation so that I would not be able to see the kids as Debbie, that I realized that I could not go further.
I'm going to type what I'm thinking, so I apologize if this turns out to be a TL;DR post.
I've only been out and about for a year now, with a year of CDing under my belt and, while I do have CD/TS friends, I find that I like hanging out with GGs a bit more.
Now this isn't because I would rather be lumped and be "just one with the girls" with my GG friends. I feel that a lot of my TG friends feel comfortable when hanging out in a more TG friendly environment. Most of the clubs they hang out in are either fetishy and/or filled with TG admirers, some of which are men who are several years my senior. Since I look like I'm in my mid-20s (I'm really in my early 30s), I feel like a lolita going into a room filled with dirty old men.
Needless to say, this feeling makes me very uncomfortable. This saddens me because I feel that the similarities between me and my TG friends are disappearing. I love them as I feel they are my sisters, but the environments we like to indulge in differ immensely. It's because of this very reason that I now see them rarely and actively seek other avenues to go out en femme.
So do I feel the need to hang out with other CDs/TVs? Not really, but the ones that I do know I'd like to hang out with more in a different environment than they're used to. And probably a little bit more often.
I feel lonely sometimes. I recently found out my best friend has dressed before, but I haven't gotten too much into it, fearing I would be caught. I just want to present it at a better time when its just us, and not a lot of people, like how I found out about him. It would be very nice just to hang around some CD friends who share my same interests.
I enjoy being with other CD's just as much as I enjoy hanging out with anyone else when I am dressed as Annie. It is not as much as who the other people are but rather if they are accepting of me and my lifestyle. Acceptance is most important in any relationship.
No other ones to hang out with in my area. Heh, I do imagine it'd be a lot better to know one though...at the very least I have mentioned it to a few non-dressing friends.
Over and over i have seen this to be true..Quote:
Originally Posted by Debglam
CD's are everywhere...
I can't say it's a need, but I do like to be with other like minded friends. I have not been out in a long time and sure, I miss it. I'd love to have a friend that also dresses and be able to dress around each other. But I'd want that friend to be into other things I like too. Like fishing, golf or just hanging around as 2 makes too. I used to have such a friend, but he passed away about 3 years ago.
I would love to meet some like minded and dressed ladies in the DFW are to meet up with and share ideas etc..
I'm grateful for this community and I appreciate everyone's participation in the subject. I was thinking maybe some time later we can hold annual meetings for Crossdressers.com members! Now imagine how would THAT meeting going to be like? :daydreaming:
I have met several members on this site. And now go to a local support group. Scroll down and investigate possible groups near you. And be sure to send note to others who may be near you.
Once in awhile, I like to meet a CD friend to hang out with as a change of pace. But I never feel the need to do it. In other words, if I never meet another CD girl for coffee I'd be totally OK with it. However, this may be due to the fact that I'm very lucky to be married to my wonderful wife who encourages and quite actively participates in my presenting as a woman. Also, I love being with GGs socially! It's incredible. GG's acceptance of me just does unbelievable things for my confidence.
Would love to meet up with other crossdressers,gay or straight so we could compare clothes and makeup.I love being a gurl.
[SIZE="4"]I was very fortunate in that I was able to meet another CDer from this forum and she helped me out of the closet and out the door. I'm now part of a group that meets every Friday night at a LGBT establishment 30 miles away. Our group pretty much owns the place on Friday nights. The gurls I've met have become some of my closest friends, and I'm always grateful for their help with my wardrobe and look. All of us encourage others and are more than willing to help our sisters grow and find a social venue to be a part of. We stay in touch with texting, emails, and we have a Yahoo T-gurls group.[/SIZE]
Here I go again taking a completely different route! For me, going out and hanging with anyone outside of my wife is just not all that interesting. First and foremost, I like hanging with my wife, wherever that may take us. I'm not against the two of us meeting and hanging out with others, but I have a rather time-consuming job and we already can't find enough time to be together, and the fact that she splits her time between my gendered selves is, to me, miraculous! If you see what I mean, a quiet candle-light dinner for the two of us (and all the rest) is just incredibly preferable to a noisy crowded anything. :)
I have a CDing buddy and it has been allot of fun when we've had the time to girl up and go out. I have another friend who CD's but I cant bring myself to be around him en femme. People are people, Cder's or not. It's how comfortable you feel with that individual whether they dress or not. I'm not comfortable around my SO.
Thus far, I haven't had the opportunity to hang out with any other CDrs, but I think it would be fun. I really enjoyed being one of the girls at a bar a few weeks ago. I've never felt more welcome or accepted.
Do I NEED to hang with other Sisters....don't know? I know I enjoy it! Down here in my Area, we seem to have A very large Community, and it seems like every week there is an Event, or A Party, or A Meeting, or just A "Night Out with The Gurls," that I could attend. Tonight for instance, a very good friend who is a Transman is being "feted' at an Event to raise some money for A Leadership Conference that The Community wants him to attend. He is The President of an Advocacy Group for ALL Trans People. Films, Happy Hour at A Club, and probably a lot of socializing will occur. Tonight I can't make it, but I should attend, and I imagine I will make a small donation.
But, I don't think we are unique down here in Florida. I imagine this same Social Framework exists around most any Urban Environment in The United States. The Trick is that you have to get involved, tune-in to The Network, and become a friendly, social animal. Saturday Night, we had A Tea, Dinner, and a Ladies Social in St. Pete. My Tri-Beta Group and our Resident Psychologist who works with The T-Community were sponsors, and we had around fifty gals. Great time for everyone, I think!
And I'm not mentioning this stuff to "rub it in." I think there are lots of opportunities out there for everyone. But, if you sit in your bedroom, dressing up and traveling from there to The Bathroom only......then your never going to ever get a chance to be around "your own kind." For those who Long to be among like-minded friends, "just do it!" Find A Group to join, hook up with people in The Vicinity who "go out." Trust me, your Sisters who are Out of The Bedroom, don't bite, aren't any stranger than yourself, and are receiving a particular satisfaction that only comes from public appearances. If you "do it," you'll be amazed at The Improvements in your Mental Health. All The Hiding, all The Repression, disappears. I've never met anyone who did not benefit from interfacing with other Gals in The Community. I've never met anyone who once out, decided they wanted to go back to The Bedroom.
Peace and Love, Joanie
I do not have a CD buddy or know of any other CDers in my area, although I know there is a least one local group (35 miles away). I don't know, if I need a CD buddy. Since my CDing has been a totally private affair since teenage years, it would be difficult to just reveal myself to another. Some of the responses I've read are really disturbing. I've thought about just mingling in a supposed safe environment (club), but, it seems most of them are pick up joints. Being married I'm not interested. Being straight I'm not interested in guys, who are "interested" in CDers. They are directly in conflict with my core beliefs.
The only advertisements I've ever seen on the Internet that appeal to me are the CD conventions. Total anaminity and no requirement to continue further in developing a friendship. No guys trolling for sex. The annual event in Port Angeles, WA appears to be a pleasant event, since it is an annual event, in part hosted and promoted by the town. The locals are use to it.
Somehow it is all rather confusing. Do you seek a friend just because he also wears clothes? Is there a mutual interest other than wearing feminine clothing? Great to meet once in awhile. But, all the time? If I met somebody who shared my hobbies, I wouldn't care if he was straight, gay, a cross-dresser or a woman. Ever go to one of those cocktail parties where everyone is bored out of their skulls? I'd really have to think about it.
Well first of all everyone I have met here has been wonderful, and also a great experience. I just wish I had time to get out more. I also know a few ladies from local clubs I enjoy hanging out with. Lastly I am on the crossdresserchatcity forum. And consider some of those ladies as friends.