Telling others?

I think you want to be accepted for who you are with everyone, i am the same way, i do not broadcast it but lots of people know and most i have told, its a secret i wanted out because i had been in the closet too long and had been told too many times it wasnt right for me to want to dress, but you know what, it is ok, everyone should be able to wear what they feel comfortable in, i feel more like me in a dress and heels,

This forum and my friends here are the first people I have ever told about my cding. After hiding in complete privacy for so many years I have found a supportive atmosphere online. In the outside world I have nothing to gain from telling others other than shame and banishment. Society is changing but I doubt it ever will to my liking in my lifetime.

Sabrina when I came out to my friends it was a release for me. Because I did kinda feel like I was lying. I had to hide my true feelings about different things. I then felt I could be me and not what they expected me to be.
And life is so much funner when you can always just be you.

Kristy

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Originally Posted by Intertwined

The easiest way for me to explain this, is to just post the letter, that I sent to family and friends...

I would like to share something with you about my life, because it is important to me that you know this.

I have only shared this with a few family and friends thus far, but I think the time has come that everyone should know this.

I am what most call “a cross dresser”, I prefer the term “androgynous”.

I am sorry for not sharing this part of my life with you sooner. For years I have thought about letting everyone know this, but, I had to learn to accept myself first. I had to learn that it is okay to be who I am. I had to think about how best to let everyone know this because I was afraid that I would lose the support of family and friends.

The reason I am choosing this time is because, by not letting everyone know, I have put my family and friends that do know, in a difficult situation, especially when they are asked questions about me, by people who do not know I am androgynous.

This is not a recent thing for me, I have been this way since as early as 8 years old, and possibly earlier.

No, I am not gay, that is usually the first wrong assumption.

No, I do not want to be a woman, nor do I even want to look like a woman. What makes me most comfortable is mixing the masculine and feminine looks to come up with my own unique look, my “Gender Expression”. This unique look matches my “Gender Identity”, how I feel about myself inside. My gender identity is not entirely male, neither is it entirely female, I feel equally both.

I am the same person you have always known, I am just being honest with you about how I feel about myself.

If you have questions about me and who or what I am, please ask me! The worst thing anyone could do is to make assumptions, or to ask someone else questions about me. I am the best source of information about myself, and as many of my friends and family will attest, I will not hesitate telling all about myself when asked.

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Well done Intertwined. Please keep us posted as to how you were received, and thank you for sharing your personal letter.

You have a different obligation to your SO than to your friends. Intimacy with your SO makes it a lie if you do not tell them. With your friends,it's just another element that they do not know. There is no way even your closest friend knows everything about you.

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Originally Posted by Sweet Sabrina

If nobody knows then is in really lying if we keep that part of us to ourselves? What do hope to gain from coming out?

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Well, lying is if you're intentionally not telling the truth. Secrets aren't lies.

I think we hope to gain acceptance when we tell our friends and family. I wanted to tell my friends when they mentioned to me that they viewed crossdressing as something guys feel comfortable doing, with someone else mentioning that she wanted to meet a drag queen. I don't know why I just didn't admit it right there, but oh well. In addition to that, I personally would like to tell a female friend that I know would have no problem with me dressing up because I can then have a girl to shop with me and I think I'd be comfortable hanging out with a GG while I'm Katie

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Originally Posted by Katiegal

Well, lying is if you're intentionally not telling the truth. Secrets aren't lies.

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You're going to have a difficult time convincing a lot of women about that. Not telling a woman (SO, wife, GF, whatever you want to call her) about crossdressing can be a time bomb; and the longer the fuse, the bigger the blast when it goes off. Technically, no, secrets aren't lies. But basically, you're presenting as a 'normal' man, when in actuality, in her eyes, you're anything but, when all of a sudden her masculine man is gone, replaced by a feminine one. So she's going to see you as being deceptive, hiding a very important part of yourself from her. For many, deception = lying.

The only person who knows that I dress as a woman is my wife. That will all change soon.