First times dressed in front of your SO or wife

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

never an issue except when she wanted to tweak some things (mind out of gutter now) like where the wig sat or if the lipstick was too red or skirt too short

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You have to get a step ladder just to get me to see over the gutter. My SO doesn't want any part of it but a dear GG friend, who is like a daughter to me, knows and even helped me get dressed, made up and went with me on my first time out. It was weird at first, but I trusted her (her not laughing helped a lot) and after 5 minutes it just it felt normal, like two girls getting ready to go out to a party. I figure that trusting a friend, SO or wife helps ease the anxiety level.

Best thing I can say is to just have open and honest communication with your SO/wife. Be ready to face the music when they react poorly, but also be armed with the knowledge to deal with what is being played.

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Originally Posted by Jenna J

My wife has come a long way in learning to "accept" my dressing and allows me to be dressed (limited) in front of her. It was wierd to be dressed in front of someone else after many, many years of hiding it from the world. Just wondering what some other experiences there are out there and how do you get more comfortable being dressed in front of the wife and how do you make it more "normal" or comfortable for them as well? Of course not being pushy or dressing outside the established "rules".

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Rather than reposting it, here is my story:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...llen-Household

I now have my own bras, my own panties, and my own stretch shorts in my dresser and my own nighties, jeans and jean shorts in my closet. Most of this stuff used to be hers. I joke that we wear the same size clothes. Of course, she fills out the Ahh Bras like they are supposed to be filled out, I don't.

So I wear the bras, panties and shorts around the house with a T shirt for a top. Or a nightie after my shower in the evening. We have one set of matching nighties. The next step is to get some of her old tops.

I think the trick is to take it one step at a time.

I've been dressing in front of my wife for decades- sometimes it still feels 'new'...
the only rules, and they are not even that, are what you and your SO either agree upon or figure out as you go.
I balk at wearing my most girly feminine stuff in front of my wife- though she has never minded- all crossdressing is just crossdressing to her, i am learning.
just keep the lines of communication open- and listen to what she says- not just the words- but how she says them and what she might be trying to say but cannot or might not want to say.
that's my 2 cents.

After five years after we got married, I realized this is a lifetime thing, so I told her about me. That afternoon, she took me shopping, When we got home, she said, well, lets see how we did!
I went to the back of the house, and bathed, slowly dressed, man I was nervous, did my make up (poorly as it turns out) Then that long walk, down that hall to the living room where she waited, Even wobbly on the heels, too much make up, she told me I looked lovely, and she couldn't believe how well I pulled it off. After that we spent the evening doing just what we always did, nothing special, but I felt special. After that for weeks maybe even months, she would have to coax me to relax and go change into something "comfortable", without her leading me, I think I would have dropped back into the bottom of that closet. But in time, it became very normal, for years I would just let her know, if she was going to be out, That I would be dressed when she got home, and she was fine either way. Anymore I don't even do that, she goes to work, and since I'm retired, when I do decide to get up and get dressed, I dress how ever I feel, and the wife never knows which me she will come home to. But the most important fact is it doesn't matter, we are both comfortable either way, because either way, it's just me, and nothing else is really any different.
Tina B.

Oh yes, it was nerve wracking the first few times for me. Having been in the closet so long I didn't want her to see the "process", just the end result. She detected my fear and began to ask questions as I dressed, asking how I did my makeup and such and over time it became very nonchalant, just 2 girls getting ready to go out.
What helped a lot was one time she was going thru her closet to do spring cleaning and donate lots of things she either didn't wear or didn't fit and she asked me if I wanted anything. We spent the entire night with me doing a fashion show before her with all the things she was getting rid of.
I ended up almost doubling my wardrobe and the donation pile wasn't that small either.

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Originally Posted by sissystephanie

I told my late wife that I was a crossdresser when I proposed to her. At her request I appeared dressed completely enfemme in front of her the next day. I was not wearing any makeup or a wig at the time. She asked me why I wasn't wearing makeup or the wig, and I told her it was because i was not very good with those things. She told me that she could help, and did From then on she always did my makeup and fixed my wig, until she passed on!! She was totally supportive!

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Now that is one hell of a gutsy proposal! For a CDr, you have enomous bazongas!

We were married about seven or eight months and she knew about my closet and my CDing. One night curiosity got the best of her and she asked me to dress for her. I was ecstatic but scared. I didn't do everything I normally do but did put on makeup, undies and a dress. I still remember what I wore that night. I was nervous as I walked out and sat down next to her. She had a gazillion questions for me and lifted my skirt slightly to see my fire engine red slip and the bottoms of my red panty girdle. Everything she did or asked was followed by an "O my God"!

I never on purpose dressed in front of her again although she did allow me to wear nightgowns to bed for awhile before asking me to stop. Shes almost caught me a few times in the years we've been together. After we moved to our new place I got up early one morning and dressed having thought that my wife had already gone to work. When I walked into th e living room I was shocked to see her lying on the floor. She wasn't going to work that day because she wasn't feeling well. She apologized for being there and I hurriedly went back to change. Nothing more said.

About six years after that we were having difficulties in our marriage (mostly because of my CDing). I greeted her at the door one night fully dressed. I didn't miss one square inch of my body in preparation. She was of course shocked but we sat down and had a very good heart to heart talk. It came out she thought I really had issues because I presented as so feminine that night. At that time she thought there were only seven or eight CDers in the world. One thing led to another and a few months later we separated for the second time. We were apart for a year. We don't talk about it any more but she will use it against me if we argue...(Why are you broke again? You been buying girly clothes again?) things of that nature.

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Originally Posted by Krististeph

the only rules, and they are not even that, are what you and your SO either agree upon or figure out as you go.

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:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: absolutely this is all that matters. As you can see, there are many different stories here.

I started late in life, so I generally dressed in front of my wife from the beginning. The only thing I was shy about was putting on a bra and forms. I got over that. So since she is used to it, I can be fully made-up or anywhere in between and it isn't a problem. She was asked last night if she has any preference and she said that I would ask if she wants him or her for the evening and she would answer that she didn't care because she always got her husband.

First time I wore anything in front of my wife was just a few that I had "stashed". She also let me try on a couple of her things (I'm about 1 size bigger than her). She said at first she was a bit worried she would laugh but then she sort of got not it and was "use crossover style tops to hide your waist. Pencil skirts don't work well ( we all know why boys!). red, blue and strong colours suit you".

The first time I got "dressed up" with makeup wig etc. we planned a dinner and video evening at home. It was early on and it was an OK night but the whole lot was a bit overwhelming I think for both of us.

Since then I will occasionally wear a feminine styled Tshirt, commonly war knickers and camisoles (though not exclusively for some reason), may wear female cut jeans or 3/4 shorts or capris. We have kids and I don't wear anything clearly feminine in front of them but once a week or so whilst they are at school and day care I will wear skirt, top and bra+forms or a dress at home.

I rarely do makeup, wig or even heels unless we are going out or if I REALLY feel like having a "dress up" session which is maybe once every month or two.

So most often I'm half and half so to speak. It took my wife a bit of getting used to the wig but now it doesn't phase her. I was very up front with ordering breast forms and asked her first if it was OK, her opinion on size etc. At first when I got them I thought they were just all wrong but she helped out with showing me that a better fitting bra can make the world of difference ( take note ladies!!).

I found once I was happy and secure in what I was doing it became much easier for the two of us. We have still only been out a few times but they have been fun. The only thing she has been nervous about especially in public is those subconscious intimacy things you do like putting my hand in the small of her back to guide her in a crowd or reassure her that I am still beside / behind her. That makes her uncomfortable ( because of the female to female intimacy) and we are talking about that. As she said though, on the plus side I guess it means that she actually sees me as female if we are out dressed socially. Ahh a two edged sword.

We talk a lot. Not just about CD either. That helps.