Sigh, Lonely.

Being upfront and open just guarantees you will take much longer than others, but in the end you will be happier. In reading your posts, a job to keep you busy should be first priority. While working on that, please try to find some volunteer work that will occupy your time and put you more into contact with people. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, meals on wheels,, some senior wellness centers. Check out Habitat for Humanity in your area. I am sure there a wide variety available. This will occupy your mind, and get you worked into being with people, and the more you are with people, the more chances to talk to others, and maybe connect.

Don't give up hope, just stay busy. They are out there.

Barbara

Nice guys DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT finish last! That is a myth! I know first hand!!!!!!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RachelRoxx

THis song always puts a smile on my face when I play it. Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55nAwmVLQSk

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One of my all time favorites !

[SIZE="4"]Rachel, I can understand, as few can. I am 58, right, 58, still single, still alone, no dates for a long time. I am a lot like you, hate bars. I also am up front about dressing, after a time. It is very hard. In the Philipines, and some other foreign countries, the gals almost grab American guys off the plane or boat. Here in jaded, spoiled America, it aint so easy, at all! Even as a non crossdresser, i have had great difficulty finding a ladyfriend, but after dressing, well, you know.[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

or not and you die alone in some alley in a torn soiled pretty pink dress! just sayin

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Finally! A good reason to look forward to dying! My goodness, Karren! That sounds so ROMANTIC! U DO have a way with words, girlfriend!

I'm going to start searching for that special dress immediately!

Barbara Ella I so right, my friend. Serving and helping, volunteering does not totally fill the void, but it does wonders, and many couples have met that way. I volunteer, at the nursing home here, with my cats. Some of the dying people just love to touch a cat or dog again! One 99 yr old lady kisses my cat, and kisses me! I just wish there wewre some ladies nearer my age!

I've met girls and dated them when shopping in women's stores. A lot of it is attitude and confidence about yourself. I've been married a long time, but about 10 years ago I met a SA in the lingerie department where I had tried on and purchaed a bra. We were talking and I asked if she would like to have lunch. I found her interesting to talk to nothing more. She thought I wanted a date and said she had just gotten engaged and wished she had met me before.

I've met far more girls in stores and at events than in bars. Go where the most girls are and be your self. Church girls date CDs too.

Part of it in my experience is not hiding who you are. Own it. Wear more feminine things in public confidently; it might even start up conversations with strangers. Remain true and honest.

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Originally Posted by Mistress Frillee

Nice guys DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT finish last! That is a myth! I know first hand!!!!!!!

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The above myth is unfortunately a mix of a few problems, first of which, is that 'nice guys' usually think that by providing a woman with lots of choices is a nice thing to do. But it's not. Women, well, most women, don't want to be the one making the decisions. They want you to magically read their mind, and then lead them to the activity they want. But of course that can't be done. So the best we can do, is to try to be interesting and fun to be with in our own way, and hope we meet a woman who likes us that way. DON'T MAKE HER 'LEAD'! DON'T MAKE HER MAKE THE DECISIONS! She'll eventually get around to telling you what she wants sometimes, if she really wants to do something.
That said, you can be a nice guy by trying to pick up clues when she is unhappy, and then changing you path, but you run the risk of her finding out that you're doing that, and then you appear as a weak male, which then makes you unappealing all over again.
That's all I've got right now.

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Originally Posted by sometimes_miss

The above myth is unfortunately a mix of a few problems, first of which, is that 'nice guys' usually think that by providing a woman with lots of choices is a nice thing to do. But it's not. Women, well, most women, don't want to be the one making the decisions. They want you to magically read their mind, and then lead them to the activity they want. But of course that can't be done. So the best we can do, is to try to be interesting and fun to be with in our own way, and hope we meet a woman who likes us that way. DON'T MAKE HER 'LEAD'! DON'T MAKE HER MAKE THE DECISIONS! She'll eventually get around to telling you what she wants sometimes, if she really wants to do something.
That said, you can be a nice guy by trying to pick up clues when she is unhappy, and then changing you path, but you run the risk of her finding out that you're doing that, and then you appear as a weak male, which then makes you unappealing all over again.
That's all I've got right now.

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Yes, the above is 100% correct. Make clear cut decisions, take the lead and do not be a push over. Be decisive. (but in a nice way)

As a GG ... I just want to say Nice guys DONOT finish last....If you go to a bar, jsut bear in mind those girls are looking for bad boys. so go where the nice girls go. My SO is a nice guy. I LOVE nice guys. They are the best!
Hang in there be yourself and it'll happen.

I met my girlfriend in my female guise at a TG club because she has TG friends/clients. She was NOT looking for a relationship with one, but the connection was what it was. We've been together over a year now. Is it destiny? Long term future? I don't know, I'm not a crystal ball reader. We have good times and we have bad.

I think if I ever wind up single again, it will behoove me to just be the best me and if I find someone that wants that, great. I doubt I'll actively look for someone though. It's nice to have someone that accepts me for me, but ultimately, the only one that must accept me for me, is me (and I have enough issues with that). This is EXACTLY the way I operated after my divorce in 2008 and it worked out, so it must be a good plan.

Get Up and Away from the computer and television and all those other gadgets! You are not going to find a relationship sitting around your home. Go out and actually talk to people. If it is nice people you want to find, go where the nice people go. Same goes for bad people. Yes some will up and disappear on you. It wasn't ment to be. That is life. Only you can control what happens in your life.

First of all if you don’t have kids now make sure your partner knows before you have kids because the kids get hurt much more than you or your spouse when you’re arguing or get divorce, plus ex wife / child support is a bitch. Believe me when my ex found out it was a miserable 4 years before our divorce and the kids grades went down in school and their attitudes went from positive to negative. They are doing great now but I know that they would have been better off if their mother and I got along.

Get your own house in order. Get a job, any job will do. Know who you are and be satisfied with yourself. When you have confidence in yourself it shows. Only after you are happy with yourself by yourself, living and dressing the way you want will your confidence show. Then is when, out of nowhere your love will walk into your life. No one wants someone who is desperate.

Therapy is great only if you get a great therapist. Make sure they understand CD’s and are able to deal with the underlying issues not just surface garbage. Surface therapists are a dime a dozen and you can get that stuff out of a book.

Join a local CD support group. They will have a lot of answers, help you get out more, and help you feel more confident.

As in anything confidence spurs success.