What things some of us say, and how do you feel about it?

Terms of endearment such as "hon", "dear", "sweaty", or "honey" does not bother me in the least. I know GG's use these terms when waiting on customers in stores and restaurants all the time. Even some men use them from time to time. I was not talking about such common words as those. But oddly enough, I had not thought about it, but I would be put off if used by another CD addressing me. It would not be a biggy, but that's caring the roll many of us play being CD's, a little to far and can be deemed crossing a line. That is unless that CD was a close friend of mine and used it in some context that may seem appropriate.
My issue is with specifically the words I mentioned in my opening statement and question.
As pointed out, even GG's do not use these terms. It's kind of like the out there flamboyant gay guy with exaggerated gestures and mannerisms that to me is like them trying to be feminine and in a way, it insults women.
Using the term "hugs" or even the physical act of hugging man to man or CD to CD is way off base as to what my original post is about. Even calling each other she, her, girl friend, lady, or referring to ourselves as women is NOT what I am talking about.
So just to clarify, my topic is about the use of kissy kissy, smooches, wet kisses, kisses, and maybe a few more over the top salutations that for the most part, even a GG never uses. But it creeps me out when other CD's use them here.

EDIT: I was posting my post when badtranny posted at the same time.

Thank you Melissa! You get it! And thank you for reminding me of a few more inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women.
I agree with you 100%

I use “hugs” all the time, as do all my friends. I do know some other GGs who use “huggles”, but it’s much less common.

“Lippy” is common on makeup blogs.

GGs don’t ‘smooch’ each other unless they’re being ironic.

Dear/Sweetie/hon… fine if you’re saying something positive, otherwise it's patronizing.

“Wet kisses” is creepy and gross. Never say this to a woman, it's not cute and she will think you're a perverted psychopath.

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Originally Posted by Flent

Wet kisses” is creepy and gross. Never say this to a woman, it's not cute and she will think you're a perverted psychopath.

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Pretty much anyone you say that to will think you are a perverted psychopath, and inane.

Well, I suppose it is (marginally) better than a post filled with four letter words or txtspeak!

Me, I'll try not to use terms of endearment.

Regards,

CF
:battingeyelashes:

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

I'm a fairly reserved Scandinavian, even with people that I'm close to. So I won't use overly trite, cutesy expressions generally and not at all with most acquaintances.

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This is true for me as well. My sort-of GF is 28 and uses *kisses* and *huggies* in texts to me. I have no idea if she uses them in texts to anyone else, though.

I think this is a tempest in a teapot. The "hugs, kisses, sweetie, and smooches" are just our inane way of trying to sound feminine in dumb way. If you know the person that you are talking to well enough to use those terms great. I've done that and signed off using hugs or kisses to friends. If used here for all of us....maybe not right, but we aren't exactly the social norm anyway.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.

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I feel the exact same way. Melissa Hobbes and I may have talked about this over wine or lunch with wine in the past. The wine may have played a role in my fuzzy memory. Giggles.

In some ways, I find it mildly insulting to women, a sign of how clueless some are about how adult women behave, and shows a major defect in their definition of femininity. IMHO, it is similar to a straight male acting like a gay male by taking on the most flaming, effeminate, over-the-top stereotypes often used to mock or make fun of gay males. While it might be excusable for comedic effect as part of a performance (e.g., TV, theater, movie), that straight male would be seen by some as being homophobic. Yes, there are some gay males who act that way, but it is an extreme and far from the norm. Another analogous parallel is not all cross dressers and transsexuals dress and act like drag queens.

While I do not play word police and tell others what they can and cannot say, as others have mentioned, it does alter my perception of the person and whether I engage them in further written or spoken conversation.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

..... but most GG's don't even talk that way or even in corresponding.

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True Brandy.....but then we are not like most GGs.

You're definitely overreacting. If you get annoyed at others because they don't think the same as you do or share your personal values, you're setting yourself up to be annoyed all the time.

And when you get to the point of thinking that everyone but you is wrong, take a look in the mirror to see who really is wrong.

Carol

I've had a few huh? moments reading stuff here. It's not a really a big deal though.

I have used the tee-hee emoticon here a few times because (I hope) my avatar looks like a girl. When I'm here I'm Marleena and people with girl avatars are treated by me as other girls (or women). I compliment the other girls and act the way I think I should act as a girl (nobody taught me this crap).lol. If I think of you guys as guys that would be just too weird and no way could I say you look pretty etc. So it's a state of mind for me.

I'm with Melissa and the majority so far on this. I do find colloquialisms grate at times though... I have a real problem with 'hun', probably because I have never really heard Brits use it. I fellow Brit on here called me 'hun' the other day and I just found it weird! But I accept it is normal the other side of the pond, just like 'ma'am'. But over here GGs frequently use terms like 'love', as in 'thanks love'... Lippy is common over here in certain regions and walks of life...

But 'wet kisses'? What is that about?

Now I do use :hugs: to mean just that... it is a way of saying... I'm with you, we are together in this, and sometimes as a sign of affection...

And I find myself using the emoticons a lot more... they are not so much words as trying to express the feeling behind the words...

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

I don't think brandy was talking about colloquialisms like Hon, Sweetie, or Darlin'.

I think she was referring to the inanities uttered by men when they are pretending to be women. "giggles", "tee hee" etc. I've been amused/disturbed by this since day one.

It's such an obvious over the top affectation that I shudder to think about the mental state of someone who does it while seriously thinking they are in their "fem persona". ...and there are those here who do.

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Hmmm, complaining about and insulting crossdressers on a site called Crossdressers.com .

It's just what some CD's do, and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else.

For me how someone wishes to express themselves is up to them and I enjoy the rich range of expression on the forum.

I just ask they be genuine where their feelings match their words and do not turn womanhood into a caricature of syrupy emotional exaggerations that make me want to hurl chunks

I agree that expressions that are not used by GWs in real conversation seem a bit much. Listening to teeny boopers or teenagers is not a good way to learn how women talk. I do use "hugs" as you see in my "signature!

I think we need to remember that we are a very diverse community... and that there is and I hope that there always will be a broad range of experiences and attitudes, etc... we live, we learn, we share, we learn, we live better lives...

I agree with Kelly in that we need to embrace our diversity whilst not letting the language deteriorate into inanities or profanities that could offend... this is our community... it is good to discuss these issues... here in good old UK, we have struggled with the class system since 1066... the legacy is still there, but things have changed a lot and how the UK is portrayed in many US TV shows is just so wrong; it is a joke over here.

So 'my' comments were trying to raise the issue of colloquialisms... which was potentially inherent in the OP and subsequent posts... I thought that I would 'develop' the idea...

The bigger issue is of potentially bad taste? I don't see an immediate problem but we maybe need to watch the trend...? We can all do this... and support the community positively. If we have an issue with individual posters it might be a good idea to PM them and try to sort out differences that way? Rather than in a publicly open (and easily accessible) section

BTW I am a CD... Melissa did not insult me nor do I think that she insulted the forum... just my view..

Hi Brandy, You better run and hide in the back of the closet because I just saw
an angry mob with a hot bucket of tar and a bag of feathers heading your way.

Good Luck.

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Originally Posted by Julogden

Hmmm, complaining about and insulting crossdressers on a site called Crossdressers.com ..

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Yes. Some of the neatest people I know are cross-dressers and it offends me when they get lumped in with the crazies. Is that offensive to you?

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Originally Posted by kaz

BTW I am a CD... Melissa did not insult me nor do I think that she insulted the forum... just my view..

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Thanks Kaz.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

Yes. Some of the neatest people I know are cross-dressers and it offends me when they get lumped in with the crazies. Is that offensive to you?

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Yeah, it is offensive. Who do you think you are you to pass judgment on others like that? Not much for live and let live, are you?

You must really be insecure, as you apparently need to frequently insult people here in the forums.

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Originally Posted by Julogden

Yeah, it is offensive. Who do you think you are you to pass judgment on others like that? Not much for live and let live, are you?

You must really be insecure, as you apparently need to frequently insult people here in the forums.

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Well, I can't deny passing judgement on people. It's kind of in our nature to judge others as worthy or unworthy of our time. I make judgements everyday and there are definitely people and activities that I find to be beneath me or unworthy of further consideration. Who am I to judge? Nobody special, just another person who has every right to be discerning about who I let into my life.

As for the live and let live comment, you got me all wrong lady. I would never tell somebody that they can't be whoever they want to be, but that doesn't mean that I have to participate does it? if somebody wants to come on here and titter and giggle like a 9 year old, then they are free to do so as far as I'm concerned, but I reserve the right to say it's silly and embarrassing.

There are some creepy people on this board and I'm not ashamed to say so. They have a right to exist, but so do I and so do my cross-dressing friends. If I want to draw a line between my friends and people I consider creepy, then I will and if you think I'm out of line, then you should say something about it. The bottom line is this; Just because I accept that you exist doesn't mean I have to let you drink my wine.

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Originally Posted by Badtranny

Well, I can't deny passing judgement on people. It's kind of in our nature to judge others as worthy or unworthy of our time. I make judgements everyday and there are definitely people and activities that I find to be beneath me or unworthy of further consideration. Who am I to judge? Nobody special, just another person who has every right to be discerning about who I let into my life.

As for the live and let live comment, you got me all wrong lady. I would never tell somebody that they can't be whoever they want to be, but that doesn't mean that I have to participate does it? if somebody wants to come on here and titter and giggle like a 9 year old, then they are free to do so as far as I'm concerned, but I reserve the right to say it's silly and embarrassing.

There are some creepy people on this board and I'm not ashamed to say so. They have a right to exist, but so do I and so do my cross-dressing friends. If I want to draw a line between my friends and people I consider creepy, then I will and if you think I'm out of line, then you should say something about it. The bottom line is this; Just because I accept that you exist doesn't mean I have to let you drink my wine.

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In my opinion, people like you are a large part of why this world has become a meaner, uglier place.

As far as I'm concerned, you definitely are out of line. Your postings here definitely violate the forum rule that says we're required to treat other members with respect and tolerance. Your excuses to justify your bad behavior don't fly. The bottom line is that you're not tolerant of some who are different than you, exactly the same way many cisgendered bigots are intolerant of all of us, including you. I'm sure you'd be upset if someone cisgendered was constantly rude to you in the manner that you're rude to some people in these forums, and IMO, your rudeness shouldn't be tolerated here, but for some reason, it is.

Thinking out loud here. I think we can find better things to do than complain about the other members. This type of thread is not too cool.

Hi Brandy,

I have some agreement with what you say but in all honesty I just try to look past it. I'm guilty of the x after my name normally.
Personally, it's the quality of the post that either drags me in or repels me in the other direction.

I think posts like this are useful, providing you have sharpened your sword blade and make ready to repel boarders, as they can rapidly turn nasty, when that was not the posters intention. :eek:
Best kiss.....wishes, I mean wishes!

Rebecca

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Originally Posted by Marleena

Thinking out loud here. I think we can find better things to do than complain about the other members. This type of thread is not too cool.

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Marleena, I am disappointed in you since I disagree with you about this type of thread since I started it. The only thing that made this thread bad is one member calling out another member in a not so friendly manner. I even remember you complaining about a few members in PM's to me if I'm not mistaken. I only see one rude poster here. Sad, that topics like this can't be discussed without name calling and accusing someone of being intolerant and judgmental. And I've said it before and say it again, there is not one person here who is not judgmental about others or the way others act, dress or say. Anyone, and I mean anyone that says they are not judgmental is a liar. We all judge things in our lives everyday. The very person that called Mellissa judgmental was being in fact, very judgmental herself. The pot calling the kettle black. So see, i just judged that person myself. Any time you say you don't like this or don't like that, you are judging. It's human nature. I like what Mellissa said in her posts on this topic. I don't see her offending me or anyone else. But someone judged her as being offensive? Is that not being judgmental? In fact she kept her cool and she conducted herself better then I could in the face of an uncalled for attack. It's obvious the offender does not like Mellissa and came to this thread to judge her further and about to ruin an otherwise good thread with lots of opinions and how others feel about the topic I presented.

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Originally Posted by reb.femme

Hi Brandy,

I have some agreement with what you say but in all honesty I just try to look past it. I'm guilty of the x after my name normally.
Personally, it's the quality of the post that either drags me in or repels me in the other direction.

I think posts like this are useful, providing you have sharpened your sword blade and make ready to repel boarders, as they can rapidly turn nasty, when that was not the posters intention. :eek:
Best kiss.....wishes, I mean wishes!
Rebecca

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Hi Rebecca, Thank you for your opinion and how you feel about the words I pointed out in my original post. And I can sometimes look past some of it too. I guess it depends on the poster and what they have to say too... in some cases.
I wish I could repell those that get nasty, But as they say, "not my job". it's the job of our great moderators when they read something and have to judge someone's actions and words. And let me judgmental here and now about you and Marleena above. Your both OK in my book. Thanks again.

Hugs, Brandy

I used to think it was stupid; but as years went on, I felt it was just some people's way of expressing their desperation at wanting to be seen as female. We've all seen the posts with the 'giggle giggle' and 'tee hee' written all over it, or honey and dearie, etc. used as a pronoun. BAsically, do whatever you're comfortable with here on the forums; just be aware that if you behave that way in public, especially with the over the top vocal range transitions, you'll probably be viewed more like a caraciture than a genuine person of that gender.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Marleena, I am disappointed in you since I disagree with you about this type of thread since I started it. The only thing that made this thread bad is one member calling out another member in a not so friendly manner. I even remember you complaining about a few members in PM's to me if I'm not mistaken. I only see one rude poster here.

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Brandy you go ahead and be disappointed in me. That is fine with me because we can't agree on everything. When we embarass other members in a public setting it's not cool.
I know the poster that caused you to start this thread I think others might be able to figure it out too. Their choice of words like I said makes me go huh? We have already had a few disageements among posters in this thread. Some things are better left unsaid.