Confidence in public

Some girls have said to make eye contact and some have said not too this is a bit confusing to me, I mean if I do not make eye contact then I will not have noticed whether or not they have read me, surely this would help to build confidence quicker if I was to make eye contact (and just suppose) look on their face this could destroy any confidence I might have gained.

To follow up on my own post, tonight I expanded my horizons again!

I took the trash out again...and then, when my fiancee had gotten off her online game and was feeling a bit of "cabin fever," I suggested we go out for a drive, which we've done a number of times in the past. The difference being, this time, I got to drive as Amy! (Yes, I had my license and such with me. They were in my purse, of course, in a lady's wallet tucked inside.) We stayed out for an hour or so, just driving. I put in the CD of my "girly" music, and we sang along to some of the familiar tunes as I soaked in all that feminine energy. (Afterwards, I put the radio on country music, for my fiancee.) I got to and from the car without a bobble, and if anyone saw into the car, they probably only saw two gals out for a drive. And I was smiling throughout; my fiancee noticed how happy I was, big time!

Never in my wildest dreams did I believe I would be doing this this quickly. I feel like the happiest--and luckiest--girl on earth!

- Amy

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AmyGaleRT

I feel like the happiest--and luckiest--girl on earth!

- Amy

---

Donna Fargo sang the song. Happiest girl in the whole U.S.A.
I am jealous of your euphoria. I know just how you must feel. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lucy two

Some girls have said to make eye contact and some have said not too this is a bit confusing to me, I mean if I do not make eye contact then I will not have noticed whether or not they have read me, surely this would help to build confidence quicker if I was to make eye contact (and just suppose) look on their face this could destroy any confidence I might have gained.

---

My opinion is to make eye contact. Treat as part of the learning experience at the beginning. Later it will come natural. Making eye contact is not about seeing who reads you, it is to show that you have the confidence to look someone in the eye and smile, just like many woman do when making eye contact with each other when walking somewhere. It is their way of saying hello. It is the same when a man and woman's eyes meet. Men usually just nod while a woman will smile. You do not have to look everyone in the eyes either. Just holding your head upright looking where you are going is a great way to start. If you catch someone's eyes, then smile a bit and keep on walking. If you need to look down the first few times out, I can accept that. But, one day you need to straighten your back and carry your head high and own who you are.

As for worrying about others looking at you, I understand that. Treat it like you are giving a speech to a large audience. You don't have to look everyone directly in the eyes. You can easily look straight ahead at the last person in the back or row of people and occasionally rotate your head to give the appearance of talking to each audience member individually, while in fact your eyes are blurry from fear (my case when speaking to a larger group of people), as you get through your task of giving your presentation. Good luck. Practice makes perfect.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shelly Preston

Hi Lucy

Choose an outfit that is right for the occasion
In daytime I would choose pants with a nice top and jacket you can still look good and not look like your trying too hard.

This combined with building your confidence by setting little goals and increasing the difficulty each time.
For example it may be going to use the atm at the local shopping centre, then it maybe going inside next time.
You will get used to being out and about, but remember almost no one passes 100% of the time

---

" but remember almost no one passes 100% of the time[/QUOTE]", yes thats very true..and i am finding out it really does not matter.:)...would be nice though...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AllieSF

My opinion is to make eye contact. Treat as part of the learning experience at the beginning. Later it will come natural. Making eye contact is not about seeing who reads you, it is to show that you have the confidence to look someone in the eye and smile, just like many woman do when making eye contact with each other when walking somewhere. It is their way of saying hello. It is the same when a man and woman's eyes meet. Men usually just nod while a woman will smile. You do not have to look everyone in the eyes either. Just holding your head upright looking where you are going is a great way to start. If you catch someone's eyes, then smile a bit and keep on walking. If you need to look down the first few times out, I can accept that. But, one day you need to straighten your back and carry your head high and own who you are.



As for worrying about others looking at you, I understand that. Treat it like you are giving a speech to a large audience. You don't have to look everyone directly in the eyes. You can easily look straight ahead at the last person in the back or row of people and occasionally rotate your head to give the appearance of talking to each audience member individually, while in fact your eyes are blurry from fear (my case when speaking to a larger group of people), as you get through your task of giving your presentation. Good luck. Practice makes perfect.

---

I normally wear glasses for distance and my contacts are not really working out...so alot of time I just go out with the regular sunglasses and the people are blurred just a little bit. My sight is not really that bad anyways. It may be weird stategy, but it actually helps with my confidence if I cannot see them "eyeing" me until up close (IMO) ... lately I have become more comfortable maintaining direct eye contact until they pass...but again I do have sunglasses on, but they can make out the eye contact...and ALWAYS remember...you DO have a right to be there!