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At this point I would definitely prefer not to have the desire to crossdress.Only because of all the problems it brings to my wife and myself.Because I do it in "secret" I really never have the chance to relax and enjoy dressing up,I just get to throw on a few bits,usually no makeup and have a quick w**k (I hope it's okay to say that) so it can leave me feeling a bit empty and unsatisfied.On the other hand if my wife suddenly did a complete U turn and wanted to turn me in to a girl WOO HOO!
I wouldn't take anything back. I wasted almost half of my life trying to live for someone else. That....ended in my first divorce of a life long friend, partner, and lover. I learned a long time ago do not live for someone else. Live for yourself and do all that you can (within reason of course) to make yourself have a good time.
I realized I was different at around 15 or so but didn't know what it was.I dabbled with dressing a few times then because the girls I hung out with wanted to dress me as a girl.
I loved it at the time but felt I had to prove my manliness around 17-18 years old.
Did a lot of crazy stuff to prove I had a man card.
If I had come out then knowing what I know now I would be a trans woman right now.
I'm happy with who I am and would never change a thing.I feel more female that male inside and that is a good thing IMO.
To me its a blessing to be able to swap genders at will at least in an outward appearance.
I would not. I was raised as a girl until almost 5. My Dad forced the switch. I think that 60 yrs ago, I would not have had a career and would have been a Mom. Think now, I would like that but would have liked a career too. So it really is a difficult call.
Edy
If I had a choice, I would have chosen to be a GG from my earliest memories. However, I'm not sure that this ansersd the origonal post, I think the spirit this post intenends to ask is if one regets beeing TG... I have to say no, however, I wish I had the guts to come out back in kindergarden.
No I wouldn't change it at all. It has cost me anguish and no little amount of stress still I wouldn't change it. There is one thing I would change. About 25 years ago I had a brief thought of transition and possibly SRS but I let what others thought I should be rule my days. I let fear and lack of information determine my future. The one thing I would change if I could would be to have had the courage to do what I should have done then.
I'm not going to let the past get to me today but I am now taking measures to correct that path today.
AnitaH
I was four, and knew I was different. After getting caught in a dress, I was beaten and told I was sick. I would not care to return to that, but I would like to return to my teens, and know that I didn't have to be who everyone expected me to be. I have many fond memories from my life's experiences, but I'd rather have become who I am now, back then.
Better yet! Let me become four years old, NOW, and have loving, understanding parents that would nurture the girl within, rather than beat her out of me!
No, but my 20's would be a lot more fun then they were, that's for sure.
I just would have accepted it far sooner, and saved a lot of anguish and misery over the years. That and I also would have taken better care of my skin. I also dread thinking of life being completely normal, no fun at all.
I would have told my Mom and had her help my explore it. I think she would have liked that, and I know I'd have loved it! Though I'd be surprised if she didn't at least know I was in her things while she was out of the house, especially because of how many times I did it and had to put things back in a hurry. We always think we're smarter than them at a young age, so I'm sure I left signs more often than I realized.
What is today? Wednesday?
It depends on the day and time. 99% of the time I love who I am. Then there is the 1% where I say to myself "self" because that's what I call myself when I talk to me "Self, don't you wonder what it is like to be a real guy? You know the he man macho type of guy who likes sports and boats and stuff?" Then I say "you know self, it does not look like much fun, so be happy" Then I buy myself a beer and watch football on TV
"What it you were given a choice"
Never in a million years would I choose not to have this in my life. It is part of who I am. I like who I am, I just wish I could be more open about it with my wife. Maybe Someday.
I guess life would have been much easier had I never had the urge to be female. There again if I had just been born female that would've solved all my issues growing up too. Just would've wanted my body to match my mind, and if that wasn't possible then I wished I could have come out sooner. I started CDing at 9 years old(probobly didn't even know why) had issues till about 14 till I was able to lock them away, but they came back in my 20's then came out to my wife in my 30's. Still struggling with it in my 40's. Only Dana never getting locked away again! She's a part of me, I love her and she makes me feel good.
If I understand the question correctly, my answer would be that I actually would not change the fact that I am different or the way I feel. For all the struggles it has caused me over the years, my desire to dress and act as a girl/woman has made me the person I am. I am very blessed in life and mostly happy with who I am, and the feminine side of me is partly responsible for the good place I'm at now.
I think I would have come out early...would have enjoyed if the Web was invented in the 80's....I would of had all you ladies to talk to.
If I had a wish that was granted I would go back to being about 10 and wish to be female.
Ever since I discovered my feminine self when I was in my late 30s, I have considered it to be a wonderful gift that has added so much pleasure and excitement to my life. There is no way I would ever wish it away. I still enjoy everything I had before but I now have this "bonus" that I am so grateful to have discovered and only wish I could spend more time being Tracey.
As I look back,I realize how strong my attraction was to girls since very young. I played it out sexually since a young teen but really it seems that I was more attracted to her style,then the person with it. So,I had relationships with a whole lot of girls and women as a result from my wanting to really be a girl. And so many years later,things don't change much. This is why I really support the "Queer kid groups" as I personally know how important it is to find your true self at a young age and go with it. Many of us have" pretended for the real world"in order to "have success in life",yet the female persona keeps getting stronger as we age!
I must admit that other than being born female, I wouldn't change anything other than allowing the real me out earlier
I often wish I could start again with what I know now, if we could be born old and get younger everything would be easier, when you are young and not the same as everybody else life is such a struggle
Hi,
What could i be gifted with that i dont have now, I belive iv been given what i needed, from age 10 on, to be different & that means being intersexed, a mix of both male & female. no changes there ,
...noeleena...
I totally agree with AngoraGirl! She describes my feelings exactly!
Due to the fact that I didn't start until I was almost 60, I have a hard time imagining what I would have been like at an earlier age. I think I made my decision to first explore and later develope my feminine persona when I was ready to accept it. Prior to that I was in the military (20 years) and raising a family. I did what I did for ME! The time was right and the feelings verified that I was doing what I needed and wanted to do. My wish is that I had done a better job of explaining myself to my wife. Perhaps then she would have been more supportive. As it is she knows, prefers to not be involved and knows that I have this need to do my thing. Those of you with supportive wives or SO's should kiss the ground they walk on as they are so rare.
I have to admit I'm torn. It has caused stress in my marriage and have spent a lifetime of sneaking around and telling one lie to cover up another lie. Now, I'm faced with either a life of not being who I am, or living alone. Not sure which is worse. But I embrace my differences and am proud to not be the same as everyone else. If it wasn't CDing, I would probably be into something else just as, or even more disruptive.
Do things happen for a reason? I'm not religious but have always believed that. So what does it mean that we all have this socially-taboo need, and that many of us invested deeply in marriages and mortgages and children before we even knew it in ourselves? It's nice to wish it had never happened, or that it had been known earlier, but I think the challenge now is to look at the present and the future -- what does it mean and what are we to do with it?
elizabethamy