What a wonderful thread! I'm also in my mid-sixties and much happier--I see myself as a woman so I would consider blue pills a curse that would reverse a condition I am grateful for. My wife and I still enjoy sex, even more, I believe, than when we were a male/female couple. Thanks to all who have responded to this thread. It is really good to know we share this experience, and that so much of it is surprisingly good.
Valerie
What a wonderful thread filled with some great discussions. I am 66, and find myself in nearly every post here. My difference is that I am a late comer to feminine awareness, only 18 months, and wife has known only 16 months. I am just finding myself, and the wife is still in the initial stages of unacceptance, but I am hopeful that with time my womanly desires will be bearable. Just not sure there are that many years left....lol
Due to medications, the wife has not had a libido for a dozen years or so, and my bodily changes are not of interest to her so the estrogen and now finestaride effects (yes, even at this age, breast development, skin changes, body odor etc.) go unnoticed. I enjoy the lack of hair growth, and the fineness I now have, and the decreased size of the boys does make it easier to ignore and work with them. Have to live with no hair on top though.
If wife would accept, i would dress casual femme all the time grandson was not over. I think about it all the time, and would have no problem. Too late for surgery. Don't know what the future has, but I will embrace it in as much of a womanly way as is possible.
Barbara
I guess I really started something here! Are these the latent feelings that we've denined for a lot of years? In our earlier years maybe we felt the need to prove masculinity and hide our feminity? I don't know who could answer those questions.
Now, about 24 hours later after I posted the original question, and hearing your answers, I'm starting to get a better handle on this.
Let me give you a little more background: Back around 2001 I was "un-officially" using Climara patches as DIY HRT. My wife noted that I was very calm and less agressive, and less angered. Then I stopped. Then depression set in. Today I take anti-anxiety meds, BP and cholesterol reducing meds and still feel like crap. If I could go back to taking estrogen, not only would my mind feel more at ease but I really believe the depression would go away. It's something for me to explore again with my doc.
My wife and I have basically given up our sex lives because quite frankly, we're not interested anymore while we maintain a nice relationship and plan to into our golden years. We're more interested in the simple things we enjoy. Maybe it's just us and the way we are.
I've lost interest in my hobbies and things like yard work. And I don't feel sorry. I'm lucky to have a yard helper take care of that stuff. I really don't miss the guy hobbies and such and instead love just being the woman around here doing dishes, vacuuming, and doing laundry, going to the salon, and food shopping. If I were to begin HRT again, this time under supervison, I think I'd be even happier.
Unless I really had to, having "the boys" removed is a non-issue. Yes, it would be nice, but they don't get in the way anymore and tucking is almost automatic without even trying.
Do I miss having sex as a man? Yes and no. On the yes side I miss that relief. On the no side I enjoy one long sense of a wonderful feminine feeling. My wife and I are very intimate even with all of our clothes on. Maybe I'm transexual after all? I don't know. But that long wonderful sense of change in my life now has me feeling so much better to enjoy all things feminine. I'm much more closer to my women friends to relate better with them. Some have admitted they don't think of me as a guy anymore. If this is a transition as I get older, it has been one wonderful experience!
It's the best way I can say I'm learning and loving to be a woman every day now!!! Maybe this is the way I'm learning that I've denied loving and being my true self all along. I don't know. Each day is new.
Cheryl Ann
Agree with Miki that health problems can wipe out desire. Right now I'm sitting here typing while dressed in drab, a packed duffle at the door ready to depart at a moment's panic to the VA's ER. After 57 years mostly underdressing I found myself living alone. That was six months ago. So I went out and bought about two thousand bucks worth of pant, skirt and dress sets to fill two closets, and enough cosmetics to fill the drawers in one bathroom. I already had five dresser drawers of lingerie. Then suddenly maladies that were once mild or never were reared their ugly heads: vascular, neurological, gastric, and arthyritis from feet to neck to name a few. Yes, got all sorts of pain meds so when no pain I'm a zombie! Not going to let all those CD purchases go to waste --- will pull out of it and get back on the ride. Will be 88 next month but that's only a number --- the journey isn't over --- yet.
Julie
Hi Cheryl,
My license says I'm 64, but actually I'm on my 25th - 39th birthday.
I'm in a great position as well, my wife knows and accepts, and I work from home so most of my day I am dressed as I feel like.
If I need to do the dirty jobs then jeans and sweats work, but if not then a dress or skirt is the uniform of the day.
Since I don't have to wear boy clothes to work each day its much nicer to pick a dress from the closet.. much more comfortable and its just a great life.!
I only get to dream about going into town, or shopping as Bobbi. but I enjoy all that I get.
Bobbi
Hi, I'm 68 and really enjoy dressing every chance I get. I think when you retire you have a lot of extra time on your hands and if you ever had an inkling of dressing as a woman now seems the time to do it. As far as sex goes my equipment still works, but my wife doesn't have much interest. So fantasy DIY sex is usually what happens and more so since I've been dressing. So I'm sticking with "my boys" and hoping my wife gets her issues resolved. Hugs Jaymee
So good to know there are so many girls who grew up in the 50s and 60s. I'm 73 years old and yes, back then, I really thought I was alone. Rather than merely repeat what so many of you have said on this thread, let me add that an added benefit to expressing my natural feminine persona, is that I feel so young when I am Norah!
Norah and all, doesn't it really make us feel crappy that we grew up in an era when no one really understood how we felt and even ostracised us? Imagine if we could start all over! I've decided to start new! I hope evreyone at our ages will too!
Cheryl Ann
I really don't like sex anymore( I'm 66) and frankly detest it. I'd rather self pleasure ( the M word) in the middle of the night of while dressed in my sleep, in nightie and lingerie. I wish intercourse was not the big wow that its made up to be. My parts do not work much and the flag is always down and not up flying ( enjoying the metaphors) some of it is the result of anti-depressants I've taken for years. Believe me you're not alone here old timer, many more would like to answer but don't have the caloons to do so.
Well, I guess I must join the group.
As for being "not interested in sex"...well I certainly can't say that. How does that phrase go ... "The mind is willing but the body isn't"...lol.
As for dressing more... a big YES from me. I would love to go full time (no surgery for me) when I retire in a few years, but I think that's a selfish desire as it would not be fair to my wonderful wife. I would be dressing more, but not full time. I don't feel it has anything to do with sex, or age or anything but time....having the time to myself to be able to be myself.
Well said Cynthia I feel the same, maybe it comes from being 64. I am separated and still working, any future sexual relationship has more to do with meeting the right person than anything else and its not a priority. I didn't expect to fall in love when I met my ex and it lasted over 30 years. Having grandkids would be great.
My current thinking is to explore my femme side more fully and at retirement consider hormones and living more full time. For now I have my support group and am going out more as a girl socially with that group and having a ball.
In some ways I am just starting a new life and becoming more comfortable with myself and learning about who I am. Just keep growing and learning and living.
hugs rita
That sounds a lot like me. My wife has hit menopause and mostly feels as we do. Intercourse isn't everything. It was nice, but somehow I feel better letting me become my feminine self. She is also finding better things to feel good about that seem to last a lot longer, if you know what I mean.Quote:
Originally Posted by Megan70
Cheryl Ann
awww...i have to wait another year and 10 months to reply :(
Take your time getting there! LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by kristinacd55
Cheryl Ann
Well the REALLY great thing I take from this thread is to see just how many of us "oldies" are still here and dressing! I'm 67 and, yes, one's sex drive does diminish with age. This doesn't necessarily stop one having a loving, tender relationship with your partner.
Thanks for starting this thread Cheryl Ann.........and to everyone else who has contributed such thought provoking comments.
Senior my ass! lol. I'm 61.... and still play ice hockey and are active doing all kinds of things.... not retiring because I love what I'm doing (Facebook friends may think otherwise... lol) and don't plan to slow down any time soon to "just be a woman" ..... Life is almost over so I'll just be a woman? come on? live life to the fullest.... go out and do something meaningful.... help other people.... don't just fade away in your kitchen in a skirt..... Just be a woman.... that sounds so demeaning to women for one thing... "My winky no longer works so I'll just become a woman? lol.
Thank you all for contributing to this thread. It is almost overwhelming to know there are so many of us and that the reasons we find ourselves here don't differ all that greatly.
Hoping each of you has a wonderful day.........Carlene..:daydreaming:
I came late to this discussion have a little to add. I'm 64, wife doesn't know the full extent of my CDing (no I'm not going to tell her). As far as sexual desire goes it's as strong as ever and everything works fine. I do dress when my wife is out to work, advantage of being semi retired, and I love getting girly. My health is good and I exercise 5-6 days a week.
The only reason i'm posting is to say that we're all different and have to live our realities and becoming "more mature" is just part of it. I agree with Karren, live life to the fullest. When I finally go I want to be all beaten and used up, with the fenders banging and engine wheezing cause I've lived as hard as I could!
I agree with Karren. I am 62 but I don't let a number dictate to me what I can and can't do. I still raise and train horses and still compete in Rodeo occasionally but not in the senior division, I go up against much younger cowboys and hold my own. As far as the sex is concerned I like to quote Toby Keith's song, I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was(maybe). I've been dressing and wanting to be like a girl since I was 5 yrs old so getting older has nothing to do with me being able to express my feminine side now that I'm umm older.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Karen, I love it! I'm six years into my very planned retirement. I am a mature 'woman' or man, which sounds better than saying I'm old. I love to doll up a la June Cleaver and take care of the home while my wife works. I love cooking and baking (in male mode too). I do the domestic chores such as laundry, ironing, vacuuming because I should be doing it. I have a community service activity that takes me out of the house two days a week. I go to a support group (unrelated to any sexual identity issues) one day a week. I enjoy being a husband, father and grandfather.
Even if that thing dangling between my legs ceases to function I would not want to become a woman. And, before someone jumps into my shit, if I was not born a man, I would not have objected to have been born a woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
As already mentioned, [and the SCIENTIFIC FACTS back up in countless never ending studies], regular EXERCISE [especially of the aerobic variety] is the closest thing there is to the fountain of youth for Humans plus it does not require taking any of the uncountable "miracle pills", supplements, additives or anything else that manufacturers want to call them, that are designed to separate people from their money.
"Well/better working equipment" is just one of the MANY benefits. The catch is that it requires sweating which so many people over thirtyish seem to find apparently repulsive.
The dividends are huge for such a small investment in time.
And it's NEVER too late to start regardless of one's weight.
You have time to be, you now, for me it was always there, I just keep it hid. I won't be 60 til Monday but I fall into this group.
I'am 67 and "ditto" that ---- it's true........................................DebraQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels
For whatever reasons that are as individual to us as well, individuals, all of us have different reasons for the way things have progressed in our lives as we've grown older. I'm still living life to the fullest and enjoying it all, and even more than I thought possible. In the past I was highly driven to succeed in my career and create financial security for my wife and myself. Today I can enjoy that. Each morning I can realize that I don't have to go off to work in any weather. The stress of that is gone, and I don't have to "perform" for anyone. My wife still works.
Making the best of things, I am far more relaxed and this might the reason I'm allowing my female persona come out being who I am instead of wishing to find "dress up" time to fulfill the need to express my feelings of being a woman whenever I could before. While in the work force I couldn't do things like getting my brows waxed or letting my nails grow. I couldn't spend time en femme around my yard outside. Now I can. I can also spend summer afternoons in my one-piece bathing suit or a sundress by the pool. I can chat with my girl friends throughout the day and visit my salon while most of the type-A personalities are doing what I did for many years.
I don't know for sure why, but I've lost interest in the macho "expected" behaviors such as yard upkeep and guy hobbies and activities. Maybe I did these things because I felt they were socially expected of me? Instead, since my wife works all day, I owe it to her to do all of the housework, and it just seems to fit and feels right. I have someone who helps with the yard work now because I can afford it. I guess all that type-A behavior of mine in the work force paid off. Today I don't have the stress that could kill me.
As far as sexual performance, both my wife and I don't care. I haven't become a woman because of that. I've always bordered on being TS, and today I can experience what feels right. I have the opportunity now to live as a woman, and it feels REALLY good and right! My wife and I still enjoy the intimacy of cuddling and kissing and it seems better without the expectation of either of us pleasing the other. The act of sex can almost feel demanding to please someone, and it did for me.
A good friend of mine went through the entire process and cleaned out her 401K to have BA and SRS. She and her wife are still married. We talk often. She is still working doing lawn maintenance. One of the things she told me is that she doesn't miss sex as a male, but their sex life today is awesome. She gave me heck for not exploring further saying that when she had her surgery, she met someone 70 years old who was also doing the same.
Everyone is different. So are our experiences and life situations and desires. I'm happy to have the friends who know and happy to just be me!
Cheryl Ann
Hi Cheryl Ann, I'm 70 Married 49.5yrs sex is still great although no where as often as it use to be I dress in the morning and in the evenings
retired over four years now and loving both my very male side and my feminine side too.