Honest opinions please

Here's the thing...

The people who wrote "allow" in terms to their relationships probably all meant different things by it. Are some of those people sitting in a dark room with a box of high heels crying, "This is all my wife would allow!!" Well, I hope not. I'm going to guess that a lot of people on this site have a bit of wiggle room.

Many of us ran to the word "compromise," because that's what we saw in our relationships. Is that what every relationship on this forum is about? I have no clue. Most likely not. There are people in terrible relationships all over the world for various reasons...some may even be CDs. Either way, it's really their choice to stay in the relationship. Most countries ALLOW you to get out, if you want.

Next, the whole GGs dressing like crap thing has increasingly bothered me to the point I had to ask a question...

Do you expect women to be apologetic for not looking like something to have sex with 24/7? Sometimes, I just want to walk the dogs in sweats and a pony tail and not be judged on whether or not I look awesome at that point in time...whether or not I'm "hot." Essentially, on a scale of 1-10, how screwable I am at that moment. My neighbor probably has no idea what to think about me...at 6am, I'm rolling to the dumpster with two bags of trash, two dogs, a messy ponytail, a bare face, sweat pants, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt from Class of 2006. That outfit says, "I am going to the trash right now, and I would appreciate it if you would look at me as a human being taking out my trash and not as a piece of ass...but, go ahead and judge me." 2 hours later, I am out the door in my latest awesome ensemble that I put together with idea from Lucky magazine. At that time, I seem to get a lot of attention...but, I also believe that it is due to the fact that it is a more reasonable hour to talk to people...I look much friendlier with coffee in my system.

My point is...women aren't getting dressed up with men in mind. We don't apologize when we aren't "looking hot enough" when we are just trying to get from point A to B. SOMETIMES, we just want to get out the door and stuff done. Are Sponge Bob pajamas ever OK? No. But, for the love of God...just get OVER IT. Women are PEOPLE...not constant runway models that exist in life for your eye candy.

I sincerely hope that you NEVER step out of the house in anything embarrassing. You have no business in flip flops...and, I hope you don't wear baseball hats...or, jeans. How *tacky*...men should be nothing short of GQ.

Even when you mow the lawn...I'm expecting nothing less than Men's Health magazine covers.

I'm going to take a shot at this one, Shana. And, I'm not claiming it's every man's opinion, just mine:

I have dated/married some pretty women. Plus, until recently, when one moved, I had 3 attractive women living on my cul de sac. One married and 2 single. Of course, I often see the single ones with boy friends. Whenever all 3 r headed out to work or some other public place, they're always looking good. However, in our cul de sac, I often see them out with their dogs, taking out the trash, or getting their mail in jammies with their hair not done up and no or little makeup. One is a slightly chubby blond. Without her hair and makeup, and wearing her sweats, she's NOT a pretty picture!

Do I think LESS of my neighbors? Or, have I thot LESS of those I dated when the next morning they looked like something the cat dragged in? No. Why would I? I've seen them the way they want to be seen out in public and they all looked quite attractive!

It's NOT women like u that I believe most men r discussing here or have issues with.

I often see folks in fast food and other public places that r unbelievable. They r OFTEN quite large, sloppily dressed, and careless about their hair. Yet, they r sometimes with SO's and often barking out orders that anyone around can hear!

If they look and act like that in public, what do they look and act like in private? And, how difficult must LIVING with someone like that be?

Did u think I meant women? They're men AND women! Don't tell me u haven't seen them where u live? They r the ones I have issues with!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

It's NOT women like u that I believe most men r discussing here or have issues with.

I often see folks in fast food and other public places that r unbelievable. They r OFTEN quite large, sloppily dressed, and careless about their hair. Yet, they r sometimes with SO's and often barking out orders that anyone around can hear!

If they look and act like that in public, what do they look and act like in private? And, how difficult must LIVING with someone like that be?

Did u think I meant women? They're men AND women! Don't tell me u haven't seen them where u live? They r the ones I have issues with!

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Why do you have issues with them? They are mere strangers to you and you have no context which allows you to come to a valid conclusion in regards to how they live, or how they choose to live, their own lives. You are being judgmental in regards to their appearance. Are there not many people on this forum who label others (who are judgmental in regards to how we choose to dress) as being closed-minded?

If you are in a relationship, you compromise.
No mastery over the other partner, you both have to live together, and why not in harmony.

Thanks Joanne for having the courage to post your thoughts on "allow". I've wanted to say the same thing for ages, just couldn't figure out a way to say it without getting flamed. Good for you girl. Sorry for the heat!

I lead. I protect. I provide. I'm a man. It's what I was made to do. If you want to dominate me, then you'll have a eunuch. Good luck with that. I have no interest in dominating anyone, especially someone I love. If you want to do the leading, protecting, and providing, then go for it. See how well that works when you're pregnant and caring for children.

The dance of life requires one person to lead. Take your pick.

I don't use the word "allow" in my marriage. So I don't allow nor disallow. Spouses do not own each other at all. When this subject comes up, I will just say that as a husband my marriage doesn't put me in a position nor the right to allow or disallow her to do anything. I do not give permissions to my wife for I do not have that right or privilege. I live by the belief that we all live by free will. For instance, "IF" my wife decided to go on a date with another man, I wouldn't like it at all. But I wouldn't say I forbid you from doing this, for as a husband that is not my right. But if she hypothetically did that, I would say that I "will not stand" for this nor support it.

Thread closed at request of OP