CD or Multiple personality or TG or what???????

Think of all the men you have encountered in your life as a "tribe" .

Do you feel like you belong to this "tribe" ?

Do you have to force yourself to act the "role" of a man?

Do you hide your lack of "maleness" from others?

Do you live with a secret person inside you that only you know about that you hope no one discovers ?

Does this "secret person" that lives inside you occasionally do things that you fear will expose the truth that you are trying to hide from others ?

If so you may be transsexual and have formed a female identity when you were a child that you have suppressed and the crossdressing is bringing this buried identity to the surface of your consciousness.

Identity is simply who you belief yourself to be but the most powerful identity is the one that is subconscious because it is formed early in life and is a continuous process that happens below your awareness.

Identity is formed between you and your environment where you use the environment like a sounding board to reflect back to you your "truth" but when what is reflected back to you is contradictory between the words (you are a boy) and the feelings ( I see myself in other women) your identity splits in two between what you believe and what you are told to believe.

To survive you push this identity down (how you know yourself to be regardless of what others tell you) but it keeps wanting to come out because it is you.

We must express ourselves as we know ourselves to be or suffer the consequences.

When you crossdress you may "trigger" this suppressed identity by making yourself consciously aware of what you have been consciously trying not to be aware of.

You will feel like you are being split in two inside your own mind because you are trying to live with a fractured gender identity by holding two opposites in one vessel who both what to be heard.

If you do not have a suppressed identity than crossdressing may "bend" your male gender identity so it is less rigid in its expression and this will happen as a result of you attempting to fit into a conformist gender binary that is to restrictive for your own personal expression

The other possibility is that crossdressing threatens to invert your sexuality and turn it inward toward yourself so you sexually desire yourself as a woman and project this desire onto others as "being loved" as the female form you attempt to create in yourself.

You seek love from others as adoration which is the expression of the sexual adoration you have for women so you want people to feel toward you what you feel toward women as "sex"

You will know this because your crossdressing will always be sexualized and if it was not for sex you would have no interest in it. Sex in some fashion must always be the foundation and driver of the behavior.

You crossdress to turn yourself into a sexual object either for yourself or others.

If female identity and invert sexual desire come together you are playing with a dangerous mixture and I would urge caution.

I guess one question to ask yourself is: "Would I be able to play the game "spin the bottle" without reservations?" If the answer is "Yes" then it would indicate that you really know yourself and have confidence in yourself regardless of which role you play. :)

A very interesting discussion. Most posters seem to experience a conflict of personalities depending on the way they are dressed. They think and act differently when in male or female attire. Some said that even from the early years they felt they are females.

My own position, as I expressed in several posts in other threads, is that I was brought up and always considered myself a male. Never wanted or wished to be a girl. When I started crossdressing on a regular basis it was fetishism and narcissism that drove me to it. I wanted to wear the clothes and especially lingerie that I found so alluring and exciting. I may have looked like a woman but I never thought of myself to be female always a male.

In time I became so accustomed to wearing skirts, nylons and lingerie that I began to hate to wear trousers and would removed them as soon as I got home from work and dress the way I felt more comfortable. Now, that I am semi-retired I can spend more time at home in skirts and stockings. I'm so male oriented that even in a skirt I wear as a top my old shirts that are no longer suitable for outside wear. Nobody can see me in them as I never present myself to the public. I feel much more comfortable dressed that way.

Even though I'm strictly "a guy in a skirt" I feel empathy and support those of you who want "to pass" as women. You put lots of effort and determination to achieve the look you desire. Even those who are transitioning get my empathy and I wish them well.

I would like to be able to go across the street to buy some items I need, without having to put trousers back on, but our society is not ready to accept an obvious male wearing a skirt. It's becoming more accepting of various vagaries of different segments of the population, but I don't think it is ready yet to accept crossdressers wandering the streets.

But fashions change and what was unacceptable and even weird 100 years ago is the norm now. Think of men wearing those ugly knee-length swim trunks and shirts to go swimming, never mind the women's attire. Definitely not "itsy-bitsy".

Perhaps the next generation or the one after will find crossdressing more acceptable, so some of the youngsters here may actually live to experience it.
But it will be too late for me.

Have a nice autumn in a week's time.

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Originally Posted by Ineke Vashon

As to "split personality", perhaps another look at some native Americans description of "Twin Spirits" might give some insight. Or peace.

Ineke

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I can relate to this. A lot!

I sometimes feel like there really are two spirits in this body, his & mine. Luckily, they play well with each other. :D

The best thing you can do is take the advice of Wildabout and Salerba. You are who you are, and you should not let the opinions of anyone on this forum affect how you think or what you do. The labels do not matter, but your marriage does. It is what is most important in your life in the long run. To me, this forum is a place to discuss, debate and consider crossdressing in a general academic sort of context rather than the specifics of my own situation.

Veronica

It has become apparant to me after years of looking at information on the old www that there is no firm agreement on what determines if someone is merely a CD or is TG or whatever. To me it seems to be what is in that individuals mind, which mind set is it that they find themselves in. What is you want to be, a man who likes to wear womens clothes and perhaps at times get into the really female mindset (or at least as deeply as one can without true knowledge of what it is to actuallly be a woman), or do you really want to be a woman, stay woman and live that life. To me there is nothing wrong which ever alternative you select. It's you and what you are comfortable with that counts. I read here all the time just be who you are and I think that is the best advice one can get.

As for the muliple personality concept I think, at least for me that I have more than one personality. When I get dressed and I am in Sarah mode, I am different in so may ways from that male part of me. Although there are overlaps some things are just different.

I have learned so much since joining this forum not so long ago. Learned things about myself, about others who share this interest with me, and about life in general. One of the big things I have learned here is that this group is really as diverse as the general population in attitudes and oppinions. Does it make things a bit confusing? Of course it does. We are all different and need and want different things whle sharing commone needs and wants. You have to seperate the wheat from the chaff as they say and decide which bit of advice will work for you. It's not done without reflection and soul searching.

Hi Ellie,

I had always been a fetish based dresser but would have loved to have stayed dressed after, but the constant worry of being caught was always in my mind. 18 months ago I got caught by my wife and I am now free to express that desire (within boundaries) with the full knowledge of my wife. Strangely, or maybe not, the fetish side has mainly disappeared, but not totally :devil:.

I agree wholeheartedly with Wildaboutheels. You may need to discuss with your wife about your getting out in the real world, I love doing it, but it doesn't necessarily move to wanting to transition. Me and my parts are staying as one but only you know for yourself. I am me, a CD, a T-Girl by my own description, but these labels change nothing about me. I am unique, a one and only.......thank god says my wife! The world can't take 2.

If you need a good discussion (read argument) about labels and think you are confused now, post a view on what it is to be CD/TG/TS. You can then sit back and relax, have a ciggie, a cup of tea and wait for the bullets to fly :heehee:.

Rebecca

Hi Ellie,

I can only echo what some have said, you need to take time to discover who you are. While there is a lot of advice on the forum, it is only that . . . advice. Each of us have found our way (or are finding our way) and what works for some may not work for others. Don't feel pressured to come out, dress up or do things which you don't feel comfortable with.

As to the CD/TG/TS debate, I don't think we (the collective) will ever agree on a definition. Personally, I don't like labels as they hinder more than help. It is like we have a need to fall into a group and once you are there, you can't go back. Although I do like Reine's term "gender fluidity" as it leaves it open and not so restrictive.

As far as multiple personalities go, I would not be worried about that. There are very few actual documented cases of multiple personalities and unless you are waking up with chunks of time missing from your memory, you are fine. You are just wrestling with two halves of your personality (feminine and masculine).

If you have a good open dialogue with your wife on this subject, talk to her. She is closest to you and will be able to help you better than all the advice on this site can ever hope to do.

Hugs

Isha

The way it was described to me by a gender therapist (and which I accept as the definition personally) is that Transgender is a basic term for any expression or feeling that represents the opposite gender in which you are born. Cross dressing is the most common form of expression. Of course there are perhaps times where a person may cross dress due to purely entertainment reasons, or on a dare, losing a bet etc etc. And they get no personal satisfaction from it. Other than that, anyone who expresses themselves in a way opposite of what would be the "normal" gender expression and or thought or feeling would fit the category of TG.

I definitely feel that I fit the category of a transgender person. What I do to express my inner femininity is cross dressing, shaving my legs, underarms, hands and slightly grow my nails longer than "average" for males. Anyone though who does not consider themselves TG, I personally do not care. It works for me.

All I can say about this is, stop trying to define yourself as one thing, ignore that the world wants to put you into a box and put a label on you. One day you might feel mostly guy, the next, mostly girl. Don't try to define yourself as one thing. Be all of them, whenever you want to. It's something I could never get my ex wife to accept, that I was her normal male husband nearly all of the time, and only occasionally drifted into the female side. Remember, however, that nearly all women want their man to be male, and only male, 100% of the time. They reserve the gender fluidity for themselves.

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Originally Posted by Ellie52

I would like some clarification if you could help me out. I have for the past 40yrs considered myself a crossdresser. By this I mean I wear women s clothes in preference to male. Only recently I have escalated this to wearing a wig and makeup. Am I still a crossdresser or transgendered.

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I don’t see how putting on a wig and makeup suddenly “makes” you transgender(ed). Haven’t you simply put on a wig and makeup? I mean, when I first did that I had no such TG thoughts…

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Recently - since joining this forum, I have become very confused about things that used to be clear to me. I seem to be progressing towards something I dont really understand (or totally want) and its happening very fast. Eloise seems to be fighting to get out, and I dont know how to stop it. I love being Ellie, and I like being me but I am fighting a constant battle with myself.

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Maybe you just have an alter ego – have you ever tried to “see” it that way? This forum seems to be in the business of confusing people, or maybe it highlights, or magnifies, any confusion that the crossdresser may feel. IMHO, you don’t have to be one thing or another, instead you can just crossdress to your heart’s content, and contemplate what it might mean, or not. It’s up to you. You’re in a confusing space anyway as a crossdresser, meaning there are no clear answers; indeed looking for answers will just paint your “self” into a corner. You’re not alone in your confusion, believe me…

Since joining this forum I’ve become LESS confused about a lot of things. Go figure. Any "battle" with myself was a mercifully brief (and uneventful) skirmish...
:idontknow:

edit:

Freaking necro'd post. Deleted.