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hello natalia. I do feel that when I am with my wife I am the man even though we have experimented together while dressed. I do fantasize about being with a guy but in my fantasies I am a GG anatomically. My wife knows this and being a wise girl she said that fantasies are just that fantasies. I guess that I am a straight guy and a straight girl at the same time but that's just in my head and I am not physically attracted to men. I guess that I must be bi. confusing isn't it. Take care Andrea x
I can only visualize myself as "feminine" sexually. Not necessarily with a female body, though sometimes I do. I don't need the clothes either but sometimes the props are fun. I'm strictly a sub. I've tried having relationships with women that were more on the sub side (we had so much in common! LOL!) and that was a disaster. I stick with dominant women. So if you want to compare it to a lesbian relationship, it's more like butch/femme (where I'm the femme) than lipstick lesbians. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like a gay bottom stuck in the mind of a straight dude. This sexuality is so rare that there is no adequate language to describe it. That's why we argue about it all the time. I'm sure the gender police will be along shortly to explain that you can't be a lesbian without a vagina and being a bottom is not necessarily "feminine." {yawn}
:tongueout
What you describe is NOT common. I can assure you that your girlfriend would not take that news well.
Great question. Had to reflect on this one for a while... and no, I don't visualize myself as a female. I also don't think about being masculine during sex either. I can't think of a single instance where I felt strongly either way, which I suppose matches how I feel about gender. The one constant is that I prefer bottom/submissive, and my wife prefers top/dominant... it works out quite well.
I don't "need" them to feel like a girl but they sure do help so much to immerse oneself "into the zone" .Quote:
Originally Posted by natalialimapoa
Mostly a man .... but a girly one :)Quote:
Originally Posted by natalialimapoa
I do not think it matters what you need to think about to make the sexual relationship work. If you are able to satisfy both your GFs and your own sexual needs than it is not that big a deal.
I understand your feelings.
However, at some point will have to be honest with her and yourself. You are only 22 and I think most of us older people here will agree the feelings only become stronger with time.
Dear Natalia
Posing to look like a woman helps us feel the feminine side of our nature ...we all feel like a woman but we need to see that in real life ...what type of beauty we have ..what do we resemble to ...are we beautiful or not ...isn't that the nature of a woman ?
It's not unusual to be... in the mood only when you are dressed or thinking of yourself as female. There are many different ways TG people see themselves- too many to catalog and do serious research on all the myriad ways. What you are describing is one of them.
These names and labels are something you will grab onto at first as you try to figure out where you fit exactly- but everyone will tell you do not worry about the exact difference between 'transvestite' and 'crossdresser' for instance- the words are only generalizations- and everyone's own understanding of words is a little different- you are what you are- labels can only generalize. If you must go further- you might look in the new DSM V, but again- don't get hung up on a category.
By the way- your avatar looks awesome! If this is how you look as a girl, holy cow, i can see why you'd never want to be male again!
:-)
<big hug> and don't let any of these answers worry or upset you- sometimes even unpleasant replies can spark a bit of new understanding.
Best wishes,
-Kristi
I don't feel like you do, but I don't think it's uncommon. CDers come in all flavors. Some are clothes fetishists, others are on a journey to becoming transgender and most of us are somewhere in the middle. Some are hetero, others gay and again, most of us are probably bisexual to one extent or another. I'll give my usual advice. Stop worrying about labels and just be you, whatever that is. Life's to short to spend time trying to wedge yourself into someone's definition. You are what you are.
And, my next bit of advice, tell the girlfriend. Good, bad or indifferent, she needs to know. Better to tell her early on than develop deep feelings and then find out she can't handle it. You deserve a SO that loves you for who you are. This one might not be the one. Then again, she might be. You won't know until you are honest with her. Besides, you owe her the truth even if it hurts her.
I certainly do not need clothes to feel female. I feel that way 24/7. No one notices though, because I'm insanely good at acting.
I can't answer the second question.
I enjoy both roles. During "normal" sex, I do not crossdress and I really enjoy taking the lead and being powerful. I do not visualize myself as feminine in any way.
Sometimes my wife doesn't feel like sex, but is willing to let me crossdress and she... um... stimulates me using other means. In that situation, I do feel completely feminine and visualize myself as a woman. I find it quite interesting that my brain can cope with two very different personas.
:oYes. When dressed I feel like the woman I am portraying and have different feelings. I once had a casual encounter with a man. Light stuff but interesting nonetheless that he wanted to and thought of me as an attractive woman in his eyes. I guess I do pass. Once the clothes come off though I am back man mode. Have not had any encounters since then when dressed. Something Must be wrong now. :straightface:
I have felt the same way since I was a teenager -- like a lesbian when having sex with a women -- but have never felt the need to dramatically label it. I think it is simply wonderful!Quote:
Originally Posted by Annaliese2010
There is no need to compare myself with other CDs, especially with high sounding adjectives like "more true", "authentically neurologically transgendered", etc. Sometimes the hype is just hype. To close my eyes and be lost in the envelope of the feminine archetype/magnetic field is to me indicative of a highly sensitive, empathic receptivity. I feel that everyone at this site embodies that in some way or another.
this is perfect :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor Ray
Well, I'm not a girl. But I sort of feel very similar during sex, in that I feel like I'm supposed to be and behave like the girl, while wanting the girl at the same time. Which makes for all sorts of mental gymnastics in order to behave as 'the guy' while feeling like 'the girl'. It's not easy.Quote:
Originally Posted by natalialimapoa
The clothes were simply a way to reinforce the feeling that I was the female I felt myself to be most of the time, making it easier to go through the day to day normal routine without the constant feeling of being in the wrong clothes and role. I've since stopped crossdressing, but the feeling of being sort of 'mis-cast' in the play of life continues. I try to keep my mind busy with other things; males mostly 'single task', so while I'm involved with other things the gender dysphoria thought process gets pushed into the background.
I am always a girl inside regardless of clothing. I am not a lesbian, gay, or bi.
Hi Taylor. I agree with everything you say. God girl, you're so articulate. I feel you on that and appreciate you and the high-minded qualities you obviously possess. A breath...........of fresh air so sweet. Really. Actually. Truly so. Would just hazard to add....with all THAT in mind. It's so true. Sexuality so doesn't relate to 'looks' or the degree of perfection of how you're dressed. Not makeup nor fingernail paint up. Not lips or whether you're hip. Carryin. Red white or blue. Colorful vs. drab w/o a clue. It all resides in the chemistry of the mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylor Ray
When the lights are low. Cuddling so...lovingly. One in front. One behind. Clock's ticking, marking time. Chimes....how soft how nice. And if you're both awake. In that safe zone of each other's aura...above beyond all other day-to-day night-to-night experience. That's the REAL. The deal. The thing. The reason Why you work n worry. Struggle & strive. What propels humanity forward. Ever pushing plunging. Ever accepting. In the province of the mind, the reason Why. We do what we do. Slings and arrows. Razor sharp tips of a thousand piercings. The pain. Of everyday life-living. The agony the ecstasy. Yet underneath? We are all Unified by....
Our common mortality. Nothing really lasts forever. Everybody want's to rule the world. Except? Us. For WE know we feel we...See. Above and beyond most others WE. Have, as you say, an inborn Sensitivity which...in my humble opinion...is why we're the best of Both worlds. Not male. Not female. But in some way Hybrid. Primarily feminine. Yes! (and thank God for that, huh?). But nevertheless, within our memory engrams there lies enough of our (pseudo, but still real, sometimes surreal) quasi male life experience to render a deep never ending never fading knowledge and understanding of that OTHER side, which, along with our ever-present and growing real life female identity thereby allows us to enjoy a deeper appreciation of both sides of the fence, a critical understanding of where and how we went....Wrong (as a lopsided species).
If the U.S. Constitution is correct...where We the People hereby collect, congregate and uphold the simple universally accepted fact. The one principle which, with elegance and grace answers THE most basic question as to the purpose and meaning of life (echoed in all religions, by whatever stripe) is simply stated as follows: To form a more pure and perfect Union. So...by the application and extension of simple logic, isn't it then True how WE are the vanguard of this ultimate global goal?
I mean, sorry for the long-winded response but...Are we? Or are we not? [I rest my case. Sorry for the lengthy read. Ok?]
I don't need clothes to feel female but I rather like being dressed up because then I feel congruent on the outside as well :p
I know i'm a girl on the inside and I share your feeling of feeling like a lesbian, but i'm not the dominant one in my relationship xD
Dressing helps with the whole being treated as a woman though :P It seems people have a lot easier time calling me allison when I haven't got any stubble ^^
I have to wonder since we identify as women on the inside if it's really even cross dressing technically but I stopped trying to answer that and just don't care anymore xD I'm me that's all there is to it.
I'm still not doing sexual things but i'm sure i'll be feeling female on that end when i get there ^^
I feel the same way. I feel like a lesbian.