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No I don't believe its a joke. :/
People do not seem to understand that acceptance of a gender variance is not contingent on sexuality preference. I find myself constantly fighting the misconceptions of bisexual women on this forum. What I like about men are their manly qualities and what I like about women are their womanly qualities. A GM does not fill out the expectations of what a woman that I would find sexy, would look like in my mind, even wearing the "right clothes.
I have noticed that the most supportive GGs are those that you are not in a relationship with. Something about not in my backyard.
I have found that (generally) lesbian/bi women are more open-minded towards gender variances because of their own sexuality.
Not necessarily, both can have polarised views.
Both are girls.
You may find more acceptance in the Lesbian community, but what will be attracted to you would be bisexual women.Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaRenae_arkie
Bisexual women struggle because they want the sensuality and intimacy of women, but they also want the security and "respectability" of men.
When I finally came out as transgender and started going out in public, I was surprised how several women came out of the woodwork to introduce me to women who turned out to be bisexual.
I was also surprised at how much they enjoyed and WANTED the cross-dressing to be a part of our sexual time together. Often, they would dress "comfortable" in public, but in private enjoyed getting dressed up sexy as much as I did.
As a cross-dresser, they don't have to worry as much about bruising your fragile ego if they ask you to do something different sexually. They can tell you how pretty you look and you are delighted. Even when you are out with her as a man, wearing a suit, she can compliment your feminine qualities and you are delighted. There is the opportunity to really experience emotional intimacy.
At a social level, once you are "out" and women know that you are transgender, both straight and lesbian women will start to treat you differently, like one of the girls. When you can learn to talk about your feelings in front of them, and they can talk about their feelings in front of you without you trying to "fix" it, you know you will have achieved something very special.
There are some caveats, however. Often a lesbian who knows her partner has had and enjoyed male partners as well as female will consider you a threat to her relationship. As a pure lesbian, she may only want girls and she will not be interested in sharing. At the same time, she may worry that if her girl-friend sees you, that the girl-friend might get the best of both worlds with you, who provides much of what she likes best about both men and women.
I have had this get ugly a few times. At one point, a bisexual woman started flirting with me and her partner got so jealous that she wanted to castrate me, she even recruited a couple of girls to help. Fortunately the club owner got wind of it and told me not to leave the bar until she said it was OK. This was the ugliest it ever got, and that was a misunderstanding.
Hard core lesbians will make it clear that they don't want to deal with what's "down there". I usually chuckle and say something like "Oh that little thing, not a problem, but I do understand" (because I do).
At the same time, many bisexual lesbians would be quite friendly and when we had a chance to talk 1-on-1 in a quiet place, they often let me know that even though they liked girls, they liked what I had to offer too.
There were some women, mostly bisexuals, who liked both Rex and Debbie, and would be very friendly to both.
Other women, mostly lesbian but bisexual, were friendly to Debbie and a bit cold to Rex.
Many women who were more straight but bisexual were more friendly to Rex in public but liked Debbie in more private settings (Dinner, shopping, away from "her crowd").
I did find that in straight environments, such as clubs or groups, the men would "bird dog" me, taking particular interest in women who flirted with me, then swooping in to "Rescue" them from trying to waste their time on me because I was "Gay". The women who told these guys to buzz off - were the wants I wanted to get to know better.
I have found these things to be true of women who wanted to be lovers as well as women who wanted to be friends. For me, there is nothing more wonderful than going into a social environment where women know that "It's always Debbie on the Inside" and they come up to Rex and greet me with a loud "DEBBIE!" and a huge smile and a hug. It's a little gesture of friendship that just makes me feel like I (Debbie) belong.
I'm a "type 6" transsexual, but if you consider that there is a range of gender Identity from 1 to 6 and a range of cross-gender preference from 1 to 6 and there is usually a good overlap across 2-3 grades, there is actually a pretty good chance that you could have some wonderful friends and a lover or two, even a life time partner.
One bit of helpful advice though. Don't let appearances dictate your choices. The girl who dresses the way you want to dress may be doing so for another partner. If she has a bit of a vanity streak, she might not want to compete with you and she would REALLY hate to "lose" to you. More than a few times I've heard "I don't want to date a man who looks better in a dress than I do".
The woman of your dreams might be a bit transgender too. She might be the one with a few extra pounds, wearing the loose fitting slacks, and the loose fitting sweater. Better to have a size 16 in sensible shoes who is completely crazy about you dressed and not, than to have a fashion model who "tolerates" your dressing. A bisexual woman is likely to be better at being able to adapt to her situations. She dresses comfortably for work and social functions, but can be sexy and hot when she wants to play in the bedroom.
There is a flip side to this. Do you have any concept of lesbian sex? If you just want to dress up and then have traditional sex, with the usual intercourse, then you might not have much to offer a bisexual. On the other hand, if you are willing to try lots of different things, including things like toys, bondage, role play, dominant and/or submissive, and switch it up different ways, and create with her, you will have a LOT to offer.
I don't want to go into any further detail in this forum because I don't want to offend anybody. The editors might need to clip some anyways (I hope not). The point is that you really need to think about what you have to offer to a woman who likes women.
This has certainly been my experience when I have been out socializing. There really are a lot of bi females who use the phrase "best of both worlds" talking about CD'sQuote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Langford
Lesbians I have met seem to be more willing to tolerate being in a social setting with CDs than most GGs . The reality of it all seems to be that for most lesbians, we who CD take our dressing to the extreme for their taste.
It's easy to see why. I would never go out clubbing wearing jeans/ t-shirt a ball cap and no makeup ( typical attire in most lesbian clubs I've ever been in). Oh on second thought I do go clubbing dressed exactly that way in my guy mode.
Just once I'd love to meet and chat with a "Lipstick Lesbian" to get her views about CD's
The only gf I ever had that really liked my CDing was bisexual and quite feminine. Just my experience.