What was the reaction of your best male friends?

One friend found out by accident and has been amazing about it even offering to go out with me.

I'm in the process of building up the courage/waiting for the right time to tell my very best friend. I'm 90% sure nothing will change except a few jokes about me. He's caught me with eye makeup remover in the bathroom when we lived together and found a "world of wigs" box on our front porch. Since then, we've only gotten closer. I don't drink beer, so the other night we were out and he orders a beer and a red wine for me. He tells the bartender "I'll have a beer, and a wine for the lady" and points at me. I thought it was hilarious and made me fell like he would still love me if he knew. He's a very liberal thinker, has gay friends and has even been spotted on Facebook at a drag show. I think he just means so much to me that I've been scared it would change our relationship. But I'm going to make it a priority to tell him in 2014.

I'm a macho kind of guy when I dress that way. Biker, blacksmith, construction, builder.... I have many interests and things that I like to do and crossdressing is only a smallish part of my life but an important part. Perhaps all these manly pursuits are part of the denial phase of this whole crossdressing thing that I love. Who would I tell? How would I tell them? Why would I tell them has not even come up yet. So far my wife and I are happy with our life and I don't see me coming out any time soon. Town is too small and small minded I think. But everyone knows I'm not into sports or anything like that. I do speak up for gay rights, crossdressers, minorities and other people who are different than "normal" guys so perhaps the guys I hang with are more broad minded than I give them credit for. I do worry about Isha's sort of total cut off from people who have been important in my life for years. Thank goodness for this forum where these issues can be brought up and discussed.

I never told my male best friend who and what I am. He once made the comment to me "...if only you were a girl.", as he was complaining about having difficulty finding a girlfriend. I was afraid if he ever saw me dressed he would be all over me. I had instances like that in the past where male friends have seen me partially dressed and have tried to be with me. Plus he was a guy friend, so it is not like I wanted to go shopping with him, speak about fashion or go to the local CD clubs with.

He did at times express a desire to wear women's shoes at times. We are no longer friends, so it is a moot point to me. It had nothing to do with my crossdressing, we just grew apart. It is rather ironic, his girlfriend, who is now his wife did not like me, it is one of the reasons we are no longer friends, loves cd's and drag queens.

They probably won't care, but then again, I probably won't tell them.

Well Annie Mac, I just lost my best friend from child hood , interesting he seemed too not care but I know he is gone. JO

The reaction of my male friends has been great, none of them have said a word.....and that's because none of them know......and I intend to do everything in my power to keep it that way!!!

Not all us TLadies need to do the whole "Out Loud and Proud and/or To Thy Own Self Be True" thing to let family and friends know who we are. I do not require the need to feel anyone else's acceptance (except for those Sarah/I wish to associate with) to empower/legitimize who I already am. I am perfectly happy with myself, I know who I am, and I am very comfortable with my preferred desire to be feminine as much as I can be within reason. And those are the key words...."within reason." I still have a job, friends, family, and a professional reputation (which contributes significantly to the financial resources that allow me to be and enjoy Sarah) to be concerned about.

I will continue to only let those know about Sarah whom I feel comfortable enough around to let know.

Telling close friends about this part of you can be very difficult. This was something I thought I would always keep as a secret, but because of other personal issues I was facing a few years back, I did tell a number of my male friends.

I knew the possibility of losing them as friends, but I also have been an honest person. Not one of them was upset or felt disappointed or ashamed of me. Many asked good questions as many did not understand what crossdressing was or why people do this. We had good talks, and I don't feel they look at me any different than before. I even had and still have some good laughs about this (and in a good way) with my friends. I am very fortunate as I have some very good friends who are really friends.

I'm sure none of them want to see me dressed up, and that is ok. It is still a relief to not have to hide this little 'hobby' from those you care about. I also think because my friends really know me, this part of me was not a total shock. My friends know I'm a bit different than most, but also know I'm happy with who I am.

Hopefully in the future when the world can accept us, issues like this will not be an issue.

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Originally Posted by Isha

The only experience that was shocking and saddening was my very best friend. We shared a lot together as we joined the military at the same time, gravitated to the same units and were together on several combat missions in Afghanistan. He saved my bacon on more than one occasion and I pulled him out of a firefight after he had been wounded, taking a through and through to my left side in the process. We recuperated in the same hospital, and I am/was the godfather of his daughter. When I told him, he freaked and cut off all contact with me and demanded that I never talk to his family. I was sad but it is what it is and I have to respect his feelings and hope someday he will come around.

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Wow. Such a sad and moving story... I hope he comes around some day...

I haven't come out to any male friends. I've made many CD friends over the past 2 years of my coming 1/2 way out of the closet so that's a bit different.
In my case there is no benefit in telling any of them.

i would have no plans to tell my male friends anything as i have no plans or desires to dress around them

I have told a few male friends and family members over the years and none of them have thought any less of me for it. I have no desire to dress around them but its just nice to have the fear of discovery taken out of the equation.
I hang on to the hope and old cliché that if you tell someone, anyone, that if they are truly your friend, then it wont bother them but if it does bother them, then they weren't your friends to begin with

There are a few friends/family that don't know, that I must still tell, but that is not on the top of my priority list ATM.
It would be much easier to be me when they visit or pop around. At the moment I am very don't care what I wear around the house, even if ppl stop by. ( im usually wearing a skirt with painted nails and some light makup)
So, think it would be easier if the important people around me knows my story and what I am. Im not really hiding, but also don't go telling everyone I walk past either.

I'm one of those girls who doesn't feel the need to be accepted by friends. I am totally out to my SO, who is very supportive - and as with most things in life, she's the important one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Isha

The only experience that was shocking and saddening was my very best friend. We shared a lot together as we joined the military at the same time, gravitated to the same units and were together on several combat missions in Afghanistan. He saved my bacon on more than one occasion and I pulled him out of a firefight after he had been wounded, taking a through and through to my left side in the process. We recuperated in the same hospital, and I am/was the godfather of his daughter. When I told him, he freaked and cut off all contact with me and demanded that I never talk to his family. I was sad but it is what it is and I have to respect his feelings and hope someday he will come around.

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That is a very sad story, i was very touched.

I haven't told any of my male friends, don't intend to, also. I never felt the need to. But yes i was caught once by a good friend of mine. He laughed, pulled my leg a bit and seriously asked me if was gay, cause that made him uncomfortable. I did actually come out to another friend (more on that later), we were drunk. :eek: I said it, can vaguely remember, wonder if he does.:battingeyelashes:

A couple have known for years that I like to dress. I don't go into details (because they're irrelevant and no ones' business but my SO, or friends here who might benefit by my experience.)

But, last year I "outed" myself on FB, all fam & friends could read that. I was just in a kind of funk at the time, and threw it up as my status. I suppose there may have been people who unfriended me on there, but I wouldn't know because I don't keep track. What's truly noteworthy is how many of my close friends who hadn't been "in the know" replied supporting me, just sharing their love. Some family, too. And again noteworthy among both family (like male cousins) and long time great friends, some of the guys most supportive were ones I was unsure about. I suppose I was pre-judging others' judgmentalism?

I'm not looking to transition or anything, but now I don't have to hide my wardrobe :)