Gendermutt, Great answer!
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Gendermutt, Great answer!
When I was younger I got all the most girly frilly things I could lay my hands on. These days, while I still like my underthings to have a bit lace or frill to them I dress much more conservatively than I used to. I think its a matter of taste of preference. The part of the country I grew up in was farming and ranching so a lot of the women and girls around were not dressed frilly most of the time. They put on the frills and took on a whole new light on special occasions, like dances and weddings and such. I love how they looked when they were all "dolled up". So later on when I moved to more of a city area it was nice to see the women at their jobs in the offices and things dressed so femine and appealing. As time has passed styles have changed and so have I.
I don't think I've ever owned anything frilly.
No we are not all doing this because of chemistry or heredity. Yes, there are some that have some chemical or hormonal imbalance, or difference. I think you are perhaps confusing transsexuals, intersex people, and others who have some kind of gender disphoria. The important thing to remember is that there is no fixed link between biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identification, or gender performance. You can look those up, but beware, there is considerable overlap between the various descriptions, and even more disagreement of the definitions, lets not get into the arguments about causes... We don't go all frilly. I suppose I could be said to go all "girly" because I have a liking for sleek stuff. I have a theory that sometimes CDing is a response to men wanting to express something in them that the mainstream regards as unsuitable for men. "I'm not allowed to behave that, way as a man? Fine. I'll be a woman then." I think that there is a lot of harm done to men and boys not being allowed to show a softer side. Equally, I feel women are being done a disservice being "expected" to be all girly and taking on certain roles. "That's woman's work!" is a horrible phrase.
Anyway, don't lump everyone here under the same label, there is a vast range of reasons for doing what we do, most of us can't tell you why, and it can be progressive, or change markedly as we start to investigate our behaviour. A lot of us don't really get into why until we come on here. The repression that a lot of us suffer form prevents us looking at ourselvves honestly, and being able to talk about it honestly is the first step on the journey. there is no telling where it goes, but you, and your partner, should try to look at it calmly, and not rush into things. None of it is wrong of itself, it only becomes "wrong" if you try to force someone to do something they don't want, or try to make them accept it. If a relationship can't deal with it, then the best thing is to let it end peacefully. Not always an outcome that can be achieved unfortunately...I see from another thread that you've recently told your wife and she is not happy about it. Hope that gets better, if she can understand your confusion, guilt, etc kept you from telling her, that may help.
We don't all go frilly. I prefer the well-dressed classy look, but I have a lot of casual outfits too. I shop at the same stores as the GG's, so it stands to reason that my outfits look pretty much the same as theirs.
For me it was the feedback that I wasn't male. Tactile, visual, olfactory and auditory all signaled to me 'female'. Women's clothes, perfume, shoes, jewelry, etc. all give back different signals than men's. Women's clothes such as a sweatshirt and jeans don't have those qualities. There can be more reasons, I suppose others will fill you in.