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Jackie,
You do have to work slowly as acceptance can come albeit slowly and you must not push it as any advancement you make can be destroyed in an instant.
Try and play the game and be careful what you do and where you go privately, you do need an outlet though.
Good thing that the cat is out of the bag, Now if your SO can truly accept this part of you time will tell.
I think you have to be truthful with her and let her know that it is unlikely that this part of you can just
be put in the past and totally forgotten. Once she has had some time to digest all the information and finds
out that you are still the same person, It is possible that in time she may become more accepting, of course
it is also possible that she will not accept at all, only time will tell, So for now, just concentrate on what will make the
both of you the happiest.
Being found out, is the worst possible way to disclose this as every woman (GG) here has written. It is not the cross dressing but the deceit that hurst most.
OK, so now she knows. There will be no subliminal or otherwise circumspect way to get her to be "into it." You need to part ways with that thought forever. There is, however, a chance that she can come to accept that this is part of you. That secret method is called.... conversation. You may need a counselor to help you two discuss this but you can start by asking her a simple question, "Honey, I'm sorry I did not tell you about this part of me. That's on me. Is there anything I can do to help you understand why I am this way?" Of course, the truth is the why can never be answered but it can be investigated. You made a promise you will not be able to keep and that is another lie that will hurt more. Get on this before it hits.
Well I think if you can give it up for awhile, be it weeks, months, or years, then the problem becomes if you can quit for that long why not forever? Pretty sure that's how she'll see it. That's why I sometimes dress even when I have no desire to do so. It feels like if I let it go for too long then why do you have to do it again.
Another problem is the start off simple and work your way up approach. To me that signifies an uncontrollable progression. So now panties aren't enough, you want a bra? Then what, a dresss, heels, makeup...? That's a problem. Just dress as much as you will ever want from the beginning. And if really only dressing for yourself, be it sexual or for comfort, avoid being too fem. Don't try to talk like a woman or develop too many mannerisms. That will look like you're transitioning.