Accepting GGs: What makes us different?

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Originally Posted by Marla GG

Breastforms took the longest for me to get comfortable with (I am totally happy with them now, however). Wigs were a close second. I think that's because those things are not just clothing -- they respresent an attempt to project a female image -- and that is what many of us find the hardest to accept.

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Dear Marla,

I completely understand your feelings re the above. How many posts contain the misguided (IMO) notion that women are CDing when they wear jeans, flats and no makeup? My SO hasn't done the 'femme' bit for some time but nobody would look at her and think she was attempting to present as a man.

Here is the rub. Most of us as MTF CDr's present ourselves as women and call ourselves by feminine pronouns regardless of if we are attempting to pass or not My SO in slacks does not wear a man styled wig, work boots and refer to herself as Jack.

To put the pump on the other foot, How many of the members here would be comfortable with their SO's presenting as men and be prepared to attend social gatherings and trips to the mall together?

To all the GG's here I would like to say that you are wonderful, very special and caring people. If we were all like you than the world really would be a better placel.

Love,


Jan

PS If you were wondering my SO od 21 yrs is of the 'I want to know where you are but not what you are doing' school.

All of you GGs are really, truly special people.

Your willingness to share your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives on this forum as well as your devotion to your partners have truly made a difference for all of us CDers.

My hope of ever finding love has been waning recently. A few years ago, I would have said I definitely believe that somehow, someday I can make it happen. Now... I'm still not willing to say never, but I find myself saying I don't know if I'll be able to make it happen or not. Maybe, maybe not. My hope isn't dead. It's just... recumbent, I guess you could say.

It's partly because of my CDing (and the fact that I'm still trying to figure out my gender -- at least part of me wishes I had been born female) but also partly because I've discovered over the past 10 months or so that, due to my ADD, I really do need to have a schedule to live by or else I will have trouble getting things done. Ever since I started living on a schedule, I've seen a lot of improvements, my place is certainly a lot cleaner because of it (thank God lol), and I feel better about myself when I'm on a schedule, but I've only been on it a few months and I'm still figuring out how flexible I can be in terms of deviating from my schedule because it's very hard to get back on it once I've gotten off track. I got off the schedule over the holidays and I'm still not quite back on it. Even right now, I should have been in bed an hour and a half ago and there will be consequences of that in the morning, which I'll deal with then.

Anyway, because of things like this I've been lately wondering if it's all... well, frankly, just too much to ask a woman to deal with.

However, thanks to your testimonies about love conquering all obstacles, I feel more hope now.

All I can say is thank god for GGs like you! :) You're all extraordinary human beings!

Big hugs to all of you,
Lisa

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Originally Posted by Helana

A case of love conquers all?.......I would say so. If your love for someone is less powerful than your social conditioning and you feel no motivation to overcome it then maybe you are not truly in love at all but just going through the motions.:

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I truly believe this. Very well said Helana.

We're either crazy, insane, in love, or a combination of the three. lol

Some one asked :

"Thanks for sharing all of that GGs! I was wondering - how did your partners initially get you to start interacting on this site, or did you find it for yourselves"

I actually found this forum on my own. Then I told my husband about how cool it was and he signed up.

And then TG Marla asked:

"What is more difficult for you to get around, the makeup, the wigs, the breastforms, the skirts and dresses, etc., or do you just see it all as part of the same package?"

ya know I went from liking androgenous guys wearing make-up to then learning about the crossdressing phenomena. Before I knew what I know now... I knew that guys crossdressed on television for comedy, I knew people had sex changes, and I knew that their were drag queen performers. But a hetrosexual cd? I did not even know such a thing exsisted till I got on the net. So....I had to sort of think that if a person wants to do this and has these feelings, chances are they dont' just want to do it half way. And although there are people who are just into panties, or shoes, or some item that seemed more fetishy than I cared for. Just to focus on one thing dare I say is a bit like "objectifying" womanhood. To be reduced to a high heel alone or a pair of panties seems so ...gee macho. And yuck..not a fan of macho.

So I then had to accept that this whole package of feminine presentation is probably what many desire, I just had to understand in a very concrete way that it really was just about "feeling" complete, content, happy, and whole on the inside. ALtering the outside to match how the inside feels "sometimes".

I personally now enjoy all the in between stages that my husband does, and also the full Amanda mode with breast forms and hip pads even. But I also know that having real breasts and having real hips and actually living as a female are not on the agenda. So because I feel such security I don't let anything make me second guess his true self.

oh and love conquering all...well I think it is more than just "love" in a movie-sort of way. It is about really really knowing each other in such a deep and personal way and really giving each permission to just let all the inner feelings come pouring out. ANd even though I desired to be married a guy who was a cd, to some extent there had to be all these other factors in play to know this was the 'one'. My husband has truly spoiled me because he has stayed true to who he presented himself as from day one. And I would like to think that I have stayed on course with all the promiese I made as well.

I am glad that all of what we had posted has helped some and give some insight into the journey from point 'a' to point 'b'.

hugs

Not having the nerve to intro my wife to the forum yet, but I can chime in by saying that my wigs are the toughest for her. We can shop, play and have great sex and I can be total en fem as long as I do not wear a wig. If I do then I am on my own and she will find something else to do. I respect her feelings and there is time for both.

just think this should stick around a little longer....

Thanks a bundle for starting this thread Marla (and for all the GGs who contribted to it) and moving into our view. It's helped me realise that most, if not all, of you initially had a resistance to CDing, but that through knowledge and love came understanding, and for some, enthusiasm. It gives me hope that my wife and I may ultimately be able to break through that initial barrier to the closer relationship that is beyond. I'm going to bookmark it as reading material for her, if I ever get her onto this site.

As many of you may be aware, I'm still waiting for her to read the first 4 chapters of "My Husband Betty" before The Big Chat, and I've been waiting since April; am I patient, or am I patient? But since Christmas, I now have a promise of end of January. Wish me luck!

Assuming that happens and goes reasonably well, I'll point her in this direction as a follow up, so that she can appreciate that most GGs feel like she does at the moment, but the fears can be overcome. I've just realised that if she does read this, she'll see this post of mine, so if you get this far my love, here's a message for you. I love you more than you'll ever know, and that goes for whether you ultimately accept the feminine side of me or not. When I said "Until death do us part", that's exactly what I meant.

Tony

But have any of my sisters here dated a GG en femme from the start? I don't know any better way to say it, but if it all could change tomorrow I would be enfemme 24/7 in a faux lesbian (?) relationship. I have so many female yearnings but no desire for a permanent plumbing change. Am I way-out there on this dream?

Ranee, read Marla GG's first post on this thread; she met her husband Angel through a CD forum, and they seem to be one of the happiest couples I know, here or elsewhere. That's pretty close to meeting en-femme from the beginning, but I don't know how much girl time Angel wants or gets. Maybe they'll answer your question here, if they see it, or you could PM them or open another thread with your question if you want a wider resoponse. It's a bit buried here.

Good luck,
Tony

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Originally Posted by Jan W

Dear Marla,
My SO in slacks does not wear a man styled wig, work boots and refer to herself as Jack.

To put the pump on the other foot, How many of the members here would be comfortable with their SO's presenting as men and be prepared to attend social gatherings and trips to the mall together?

Jan
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If thats what she wanted to do, OK. Whats the big deal. Wouldn't I be a hypocrite if I wasn't willing to give the same thing I am asking for?

Besides, I bet she'd get alot less looks and negative reaction, than me en femme. Double standard?