love your answer rian
love your answer rian
I don't seem to have this conflict. My particular style of cross dressing, which is ultra femme, has no relationship to what I'm attracted to in women. The women I tend to be attracted to don't wear makeup, dresses or high heels. They're not exactly what you would call butch, but maybe a little more butch than femme and more butch in attitude than looks. When I see a woman that's attractive to me, I don't want to be her. I've had that feeling before, so I know what it's about but I think I was just confused. My poor wife only has to scratch her head and wonder what it's all about. She doesn't have to feel like she's in competition with anything.
I never feel shame for being cd - admire my wifes good looks and style and see no need to "compete" with her (why?) but do envy and wonder "what if" when I see a particularly attractive GG of any age but don't want to do anything other than expierence the feminine side and express that part of self.
Thank you for all the insightful responses to my post, ladies. There is much food for thought here.
Maybe I have over-analyzed this whole issue too much, as some have suggested. Seems that the brain is always doing a "reality" check" when deep-seated feelings start trying to take over... :eek: :o
I have been told that I have a lot empathy and that I care about people, (I work in the health service). So what does that make me? It makes me human.
The vast majority of us have the ability to empathise with our fellow humans, is not an exclusive famine trait. I know that if you tell a woman that she looks great in that dress she's wearing she'll take it as a compliment.
And if you watch women you'll find some hide themselves in baggy clothes and some pose, with everything in-between. Just like men really. You have 'macho' women and 'effeminate' men.
So the best thing you can do is be yourself, whether your in drab or en-femme, don't over analyse it, just enjoy it. :)
Leslie yes I see what you mean, in that whenever I'm out shopping for clothes with my wife who doesn't accept it's hard to watch her look at cute stuff and not help me look for things I would like.
The thing is I enjoy helping my wife choose clothes for her but it's hard not to look for me and ask her can I try this on for me.
I hate feeling that way and it seems like it happens to often.
Most likely, simply weighing out her ability to compete with the other woman for male attention, which will also determine where she exists within her female 'clique'. Lots of press had been made over the years about how women choose what they wear based on how other women will see her, interpret her attractiveness as well as where she stands in the 'pecking order' of beauty. Just like men always have some sort of idea who is potentially the best fighter in any group, women always believe they know which girl is the one most men would pick for a mate. This is instinctive; we don't think about it for more than a few seconds before we make a determination where we rate vs a competitor for mating and thus, reproduction.Quote:
Originally Posted by sandra-leigh
If I see a gg in a nice outfit I will take notice of it. Other times I may see a gg wearing an outfit and think I would like to get one like it for me. Also I can admire an outfit on a gg and yet know that that it is not something I would wear.
I do not find myself competing with gg's. I compete with myself in always trying to improve the way I look.
Also I can notice the bad, like one time I saw a woman and thought what a terrible makup job.
I do like to observe women in public places so I can pick up ideas on how to be more feminine.